"Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on, let's go and play~" sang a child-like voice, her mediocre vocals deafening even the loudest enderman.
"No, those lyrics suck. How about... do you wanna murder someone? Come on, let's go and kill~ Preferably Dara," snapped back Mors, content with her witty counterattack.
"I still have my k-pop oppas, and that's all I need." The hyper girl crossed her arms, puffing her cheeks with a wrinkle of her nose.
"We'll see how long you survive when I toss you on an isolated island with poisoned food and filthy water. I doubt your k-pop 'oppais' will be able to help you."
The insulted girl gritted her teeth, annoyance apparent in her facial expression. "Oppa… It's oppa. Not boobs. That's Japanese… Have you ever seen me make fun of anime? Huh?"
"Oppa, oppai, same thing."
"Well then, let's see how you -"
"That's enough, you two," sighed Urushi. "I'm just glad the Hunger Games aren't real, otherwise, you would be ripping at each other's necks by now."
"She started it," Dara whined, pointed an accusatory finger at the ginger.
"I did not! You did, with your stupid snowman song."
"B-But it's Frozen! Someone's not going to get a warm hug from Olaf. You know what, Mors, maybe you should just ...let it go."
Mors was about to fling another verbal attack when Urushi quickly interrupted the two's argument.
"So, um, welcome to episode number-whatever. We're here today to review Parallel Universe by ZZefyre. It's about the famous SkyDoesMinecraft who gets stuck in Minecraft."
"Yay, another review ruined with her," said Mors unenthusiastically, shooting a pointed glare at Dara.
"Hey! The Review Chronicles was originally my idea you know." With a proud face, she jabbed her thumb on her chest. "Mine."
"Yeah, and creepers fall in love with zombies," remarked Mors.
"What if they do? Huh? Huh? Like Romeo and Juliet?" She snapped her fingers enthusiastically, a wicked grin creeping on her face. "Zombio and Creeperette! New story idea! Thanks, Mors. I knew you were somehow beneficial to humanity."
The said person stared at her, disbelief and disgust evident on her face.
"Anyway," Urushi continued, "let's talk turkey. Firstly, the story has- what are you doing, Dara?"
Thrusting her arms in a poultry-like fashion, Dara began making strange noises as Mors took a cautious step away. "Gobble gobble gobble. Turkey!"
Both Urushi and Mors groaned. The former shook her head, "Dara, 'let's talk turkey' is an idiom for 'let's get down to business.'"
"Oh... Fine. But since you mentioned it, I'm going to grab some turkey. Be right back." With strong steps, she strutted away, mocking an A-list celebrity.
Mors sighed with relief, "Well, now that the annoying fly has disappeared - hopefully for a very long time - we'd like to say your fanfic has really nice descriptions on emotion, but you should add more details on your surrounding and such. Also, add more doubt and confusion. Shouldn't Adam wonder about how he got trapped and why? You did a great job with this in the beginning, but the confusion should last consistently."
Urushi added, continuing where Mors left off. "By the way, you might also want to check on your grammar a bit. Nothing too major, but there are a few times where periods are needed but you instead replace them with commas. Also, we've mentioned this plenty of times before but remember to use the word form of numbers instead of just putting the digits."
"Plus, I suggest you make things more interesting by writing realistically. I mean, seriously, a person isn't going to find everything he needs right next to him when he needs it," Mors finished, earning a high five from Urushi.
"We work really well together. Much better than with Dara."
"I'VE RETURNED, YOU BUTTS." With a chicken leg in her mouth, Dara ran in, her arms flailing about.
Mors rolled her eyes at the fool before her. "Speak of the devil, and the devil will appear."
"Pray to the angel, and she will honor you with her presence," Dara countered. "Checkmate."
"Satan used to be an angel. The words 'Angel' and 'Satan' have ten letters; 'stupid' and 'Dara' has ten letters. Coincidence? I think not. "
"Mars has, um, four letters, and four letters spell 'dumb'. Coincidence? I think not!" Dara retorted, sticking out her tongue at Mors.
"You do know that Dara also has four letters?"
"But my name spells 'cool.'"
"A-Anyway," Urushi continued, "we know your chapters get longer over time, but maybe you should go and edit your chapters to make them a bit longer. Try to make them at least one thousand words."
Before her cousin could add a comment about it, Dara interrupted them with her excited words. "You can make them longer by using details on the scenery and more speeches and thoughts and things!"
"But don't drone on them so much like somebody here," warned Mors, crossing her arms with a head tilt.
"Yeah, well, at least I'm not an arrogant little -"
Urushi muttered something incoherent under her breath, stopping Dara from finishing her sentence. "Oh..right."
Instead, she opened a confetti popper and thousands of multi-colored paper to rain down on the two pessimists' heads. "We're MOVING!"
Urushi unenthusiastically picked the confetti out of her hair with a frown that would make even Grumpy Cat proud. She quickly put on a smiling facade and faced the audience. "Yes, indeed we are. We're moving. Originally, we weren't sure if The Review Chronicles was going to be successful so -"
"And boy were we wrong!" Dara interrupted, a bright grin lighting up her face. "We're almost as famous as the international snail race!"
"The what?" Mors asked, lifting an eyebrow in confusion.
"Exactly."
Ignoring the two disputatious co-hosts, Urushi continued, "Anyhow, Dara thought of starting The Review Chronicles here to see if something like this would grow and be popular and stuff. It's doing pretty well, so we're going to move around March or April to the fandom that it was originally created for: Attack on Titan!"
"Wait, what?" Dara cocked her head to the side in curiosity. "I thought you said we're moving to the Club Penguin fandom!"
"Well, I thought we're moving to the No-Sixteen-Year-Old-Plays-Club-Penguin-Unless-They-Have-A-Mental-Illness-Like-Dara fandom." Mors said innocently, ignoring the glare she received from Dara.
"During that time, you can still ask us for help but we won't be giving an elaborate description like we are now. Instead, we'll Private Message you and give you a small list of advice. That sounds good, right?"
"You know, you guys should totally try Attack on Titan! It's the best thing ever, after the invention of guns of course."
Dara crossed her arms and pouted. "Guns kill people. I don't like violence."
"Too bad, because the SNK fandom is full of it."
Before she could shout a clever rebuttal, a loud static noise pierced the air harshly, making the three's heads turn in search of the source.
Poof!
With a moderate puff of lilac powder, a towering, dark creature loomed over them, its eyes filled with enmity towards the trio. The monster's jaw dropped considerably and let out a furious war cry.
"Mors," said Dara. "Although I don't like violence, you do have a point. Sometimes, it's awesome to kill!"
The three attacked simultaneously, an elbow from one of them striking the camera by accident. The screen toppled off of the shelf as it fell into oblivion.