Chapter Ten: A Choice Not Made
The question completely caught me off guard. I hadn't expected my father to barge in, much less ask about Abe Mazur. No one had known or questioned about Abe except for Dimitri and Ivan, and I quickly wondered if either one of them had told my father about the incident.
"Excuse me?" I replied, acting like I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Maya, you were with Abe Mazur over the week long break. Your mother called and told me so."
Anger welled up inside me. My mother had apparently been involved with Abe for years, but the instant I had one contact with the man my father is practically breathing down my neck. "I don't think mom is the most reliable source," I muttered.
My father sighed and took a seat beside me on the bed. "I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I'm just concerned. I don't like the way we left things off before the break and...I don't know...I thought you were rebelling in some way."
I warily glanced over at him, knowing it wasn't worth trying to hide the truth. "I wasn't trying to rebel. I guess it was more I was at the wrong place at the wrong time and I...I..." I struggled to say the next part, "I don't think Abe is that bad."
My father was silent for a moment, staring at me in shock. "Maya, do you realize who Abe Mazur is?"
"Yes, but have you ever met him before? Or are you just assuming things about him from what you've heard?"
"Maya, it's Abe Mazur's job to manipulate people-"
"-Do you think I'm not strong willed enough to handle Abe?" Each moment of this conversation made me want to smack my father harder and harder until his mouth fell off.
Maya, is everything okay? Ivan's thoughts startled me, reminding me of the once again confusing dream I had with him. I felt bad for making him worry and abruptly leaving the dream. Of course, I had no way of answering him back, so I had to continue my annoying conversation with my father.
"Maya, isn't it my job to worry about my daughter? I mean, for crying out loud, you were shot! I can't just sit here idly and act like it never happened! What kind of father would I be then?" I had never seen my father get so worked up before and it made me feel miserable, as if I had deeply disappointed him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, so quietly that I could barely hear myself.
My father sighed again, silently accepting my apology. I knew he hated upsetting me. "...I'm going to the US."
"What?" I hadn't expected this plot twist. "Why?"
"I'm going to guard for the Badicas, but...I might not anymore. I could wait until you graduate. I don't want to leave you...especially now..."
"Go." The word hurt me more than I allowed to show. Of course I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't let him miss out on this opportunity.
My father's face transformed immediately. I knew he had missed being a guardian after he retired, and my approval meant the world for him. "Thank you," he told me as he hugged me tight to him. "Thank you so much."
"Dad, you're a legend, why shouldn't you be a guardian again?" I rhetorically asked, kissing his cheek.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Absolutely," I lied. Of course I wasn't completely comfortable with my father being abroad, but I couldn't stop him. Technically I was 18 and could make my own decisions anyway, so there was no reason to keep my father around any longer. He was better off using his full potential to guard royal Moroi rather than keep track of his teenage daughter. "I'm proud of you, Papa."
"I'm proud of you too. You're going to be a great guardian for Ivan."
"Ivan?" My heart raced, wondering if my father knew more than he let on. Did he know about the bond between me and Ivan?
"Well, don't tell anyone else, but we've started to select future guardians for Moroi already. I've made sure you and Dimitri were assigned to Ivan," my father explained, winking at me. His infatuation with my relationship with Dimitri would never cease to diminish, and I rolled my eyes in response.
"Thanks, I guess," I awkwardly replied, unsure how I felt about this news. "I should probably get some sleep."
"Of course," he agreed, getting up off of my bed. "Good-night sweetie." He kissed my forehead before heading out of my room, quietly closing the door behind him.
I buried my head into my pillow, tempted to scream but controlled my overwhelming emotions. Once again, silence surrounded me and I almost wished for the company of my father or Ivan again, even if it was just in a dream. I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing, the rhythm causing me to fall asleep.
"Maya?"
Ivan stood in front of me. We were in the same setting as before: a snowy St. Basil's campus. His blue eyes worriedly studied me.
"Sorry, my father barged into my room and began interrogating me about Abe Mazur of all things."
"That must have been a lovely conversation."
I rolled my eyes. "You have no idea." I decided not to tell him about my father's new assignment. It wasn't my news to tell people, it was my father's. However, I couldn't help but blurt out the other news I had recently discovered. "He told me they were working on assignments early. Apparently they have you, Dimitri, and I paired together."
He perked up and I could sense his mood lifted even more at what he considered to be good news. "Really?"
I nodded in response, but a question kept lingering in my mind. "...Why are you suddenly interested in me now? Why me, when you know about Dimitri and I..."
His expression softened and he placed his hand on my shoulder. "...I'm not doing this to hurt you or Dimitri. I'm trying to think of life after graduation, and I hate to tell you this, but there's no way you and Dimitri will be able to live your happy-ever-after, especially with the way both of you are so dedicated to guardianship."
In the back of my mind, I knew Ivan was right, but I had never wanted to fully consider that scenario. Hearing it from Ivan made me cringe a little bit, but I managed to stay strong as he continued his explanation.
"...I just thought..." Ivan hesitated for a moment, which was very out of character for him. He usually always had something to say. "...I just thought that if you were to have a future with any Moroi man, why not have it be with a friend?"
I backed up and stared at him in shock, surprised not only by what he said but also the loving emotions running through him. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"
Ivan laughed. "No, don't worry. I'm not going to get on one knee and propose right now, but I think both you and I know that this is the best option. I love you, Maya, and I don't need any time to think through this decision. However, I think you need time to think this through."
I stood there, unable to completely comprehend what he was saying. "...What about Dimitri?" I finally asked after a few awkward moments of silence.
"...I already talked to him about it," he sheepishly replied. "That may or may not have been the reason he kissed you like that before we left. You know, because that could be the last time."
They had already discussed this? Dimitri was okay with this? Of course he was, he always wanted the best for me, and if he were to give me up to anyone, Ivan would be so lucky to have the honors. This time I really had no words. I simply stared at Ivan.
He cautiously stepped closer to me and gently traced my jawline before lightly kissing my lips.
I jolted awake, this time not of my own choosing. Ivan had ended the dream all on his own. I rolled over and saw the sun's rays seeping into my room. "How can it possibly be morning already?" I asked myself. I felt as if I had not gotten any sleep last night between my father's visit and Ivan's invasion. I trudged over to the bathroom and pulled my hair up into a messy bun right on top of my head. Since it was the weekend and I had no classes to go to, and I didn't really care about my appearance as I slipped on a pair of boots and a jacket before heading outside.
I jogged to the boy's dorm room, trying to get out of the chilly weather as soon as possible. By the time I reached the dorms, the drastic change in temperature was almost a shock to the system. I ignored the complaints of my body as I bolted up the stairs until I reached Ivan and Dimitri's room. I knocked on the door and the door opened immediately as if they knew I would be coming.
The expression on Dimitri's face was indistinguishable as he opened the door for me. "Hi," I awkwardly said.
"...Hey," he replied. He seemed to be distancing himself away from me, and if I hadn't known any better, I would have been offended.
Ivan's reaction was the exact opposite. "Maya! What a lovely surprise!" He grin looked more expansive than Siberia itself, and he guided me into one of the lounge chairs in their room. "What can we do for you today?"
"Did I walk into the wrong place? You sound more like a nosy retailer than an obnoxious teenage boy."
Ivan's grin only widened and he glanced over at Dimitri. "She came with some attitude today."
"When doesn't she have attitude?" Dimitri joked.
"Are you two done discussing about me like I'm not here?" I had to admit, my response was like a double-edged sword because both Dimitri and Ivan immediately became uncomfortable with the topic I introduced. "I don't need any time to think about your proposition," I told Ivan.
Ivan's grin dropped, and he studied me, trying to interpret my aura. "What do you mean?" He asked.
I glanced between Ivan's and Dimitri's eyes, unable to believe what came out of my mouth next, "I can't be with either one of you."