The Broken Doll

by aradian nights

When Mikasa Ackerman is kidnapped, she is not saved by Eren Jaeger. Instead, a thug from Wall Sina named Levi takes her under his wing. AU

10. The Steadfast Tin Soldier

.ten.

{the steadfast tin soldier}

It was a glittering summer afternoon when Levi was shoved through the narrow doorway of Harmon Orphanage by a grumpy MP. His boots, which swallowed up his feet and bony ankles like two yawning maws, scuffed across the wooden floor as he was yanked roughly and jerked forward. Trula Harmon, an elderly woman with a gaunt face and wiry gray hair, was standing in the entryway with a look of horror spilling across her face slowly, like milk pooling around a broken glass. Blood dribbled down the side of Levi's pale face, smearing across his right eyelid and licking down his cheek in a streak of red. His grin was bloody.

"My goodness..." Miss Harmon breathed, wringing her hands as Levi was pushed at her again. This time, he managed a wince, but did not stop grinning.

That was, until the MP whacked him hard across the mouth.

He was snapped from his daze of victory by a fist. Immediately his face fell, and he met Miss Harmon's eye. She looked at him with a cool gaze, and he knew he was in for it. His shoulders slumped a little as the situation fell onto him. Yeah. He was fucked well and good.

"Harmon," the MP spat, shaking Levi's scrawny body until his brain rattled in his skull. "I told you. I told you what'd happen if I caught another one of your damn kids stealing!"

"I know," Miss Harmon said calmly. "Levi, what did you steal?"

Levi didn't dare look at her face. Instead he looked at his scuffed brown boots, which were too big by far. And then he looked past Miss Harmon to a boy standing in he foyer. He was starkly unfamiliar with a clean face and dull eyes. He was wearing a crisp white cotton shirt, which was tucked into shorts. He wore a blazer, and his pale hair was neatly combed to the side. If ever there was a child who looked the opposite of Levi in that moment, it was this stranger of a boy. And the boy had a suitcase resting at his feet.

"Levi!" Miss Harmon snapped.

"An apple," Levi replied, his voice a cold drawl. It was the broken way anyone born and raised in the slums of Wall Sina spoke. "Or two."

"Did you eat them?" Miss Harmon asked, back to her steady placid tone.

"No." Levi shifted against the MP's grip. He felt a little shame curling up inside him like a fire sparking.

Miss Harmon seemed to visibly relax. "If they were returned to the owner," Miss Harmon said to the MP, "I don't see any reason for you to linger here, sir."

That nearly caused Levi's bloody grin to return. Instead he looked up at the MP expectantly, and all but ran to Miss Harmon's side when the man released him. She immediately grabbed him by the chin, snapping his head to the side to get a better look at his head wound. He grimaced as she pushed his hair back, tenderly brushing her fingers around the bleeding cut. He had been assaulted with the butt of a gun. After surrendering the apples back to the owner. Typical.

"Look, kid," the MP said sharply. Levi looked up at him blankly. "I mean it this time. Don't try anything like this again."

Levi stared at him, and he cocked his head. "Yes," Levi sneered as the man turned his back to him. He mock saluted the MP, his fist driving hard against his chest as he folded is left arm behind his back. "Sir."

When he was gone, Miss Harmon dragged him into the bathroom before Levi could so much as squeak. She slammed the door shut, and in that moment she looked ancient to him. She was a crone, a wisdom he could not grasp, and he was an insolent child. She looked at him, and there was shame and terror in her eyes.

"Levi," she said, her voice low. "You need to stop doing this."

"I put the apple back."

"You know what I mean." Miss Harmon sighed, and she grabbed a cloth from the rung above the bathtub. He flinched away from her after she wet it and tried to press it to his forehead. Eventually he gave up, and hissed a little through his teeth as she gingerly dabbed at his wound. "They're going to take you away, you know."

Levi said nothing. He stared at the door, at the chips in the white paint revealing pale brown wood. His fists tightened at his side.

"They'll take you away," Miss Harmon continued. "Put you somewhere else. Not in Yalkell, I'll tell you that. They'll probably take you to the capital and let you rot there in some military-run orphanage. Is that what you want?"

He blinked rapidly as she applied too much pressure on his wound, and he jumped away from her, his eyes watering from the pain. She grasped his wrists, and bent down so that they were eyelevel.

"Levi, you've been here a long time," she said softly. He stared at her with wide eyes. She's serious, he realized. Oh shit, I've done it now. "And I know it's hard, but you need to behave, or else they won't let you stay with me. Do you understand?"

"I'm not stupid," Levi grumbled.

"Then stop acting like it," Miss Harmon said sharply, her hand swatting his hair. He bowed his head. Well, at least he hadn't gotten the wooden spoon. "You're an intelligent boy, but you insist on acting like a thug!"

"Can I go now?" Levi asked, shifting nervously. Miss Harmon's dark eyes bore into his, and he gritted his teeth. "Please?"

"Fine." She rubbed at his cheek a little more, wiping the blood away. "Get Trudy to bandage your head, will you?"

"Yeah." He ducked under her arm and fled the bathroom in a hurry. He ran through the foyer and into the elongated dorm. He stopped in his tracks when he passed the tidy looking boy with the suitcase. The boy stared at Levi with eyes like murky puddles, his thick eyebrows furrowing at the sight of him. Blood still trickled from Levi's forehead. "Who the hell are you?"

The boy's shoulders tensed up, and he stood speechless.

Miss Harmon appeared at Levi's back, and she grasped him be the shoulder. She, like most people, towered over him without fail. "Levi," she reprimanded with a voice like a slap. "Manners."

"Right," Levi said, his lips twisting in distaste. He lifted his chin high, and folded his arms across his chest. "Who the hell are you, sir?"

Miss Harmon actually smacked him over the head this time.

"Levi, this is Erwin Smith," Miss Harmon said. Levi didn't really care anymore. He just wanted to go upstairs where all the other kids were. "He's going to be staying with us."

"That's shitty."

"Levi."

Levi shrugged, and he looked directly into Erwin Smith's murky blue eyes. "It's true, though," he said, his voice loud and matter-of-fact. "Staying with us means you've got nowhere else to go. That's shitty."

Miss Harmon gave a long sigh, and she pinched the bridge of her nose. The boy merely stared down at Levi with slightly widening eyes. He looked a little shell-shocked, his face pallid and his eyes gauzy. He was older than Levi by a few years, that was clear in his features, but he had the air of someone much younger. Someone who had only been broken once, and was still healing. Levi, who had been born into the world without a home and grown without a name, could only empathize to an extent.

"Take Erwin with you upstairs, will you?" Miss Harmon said, after taking a very long pause to stare at Levi's face. "And tell the other children I said to behave themselves."

"Whatever." Levi shoved his hands in his pockets, brushing past Erwin Smith without a care and running up the steps. His boots squelched against the wood, too big and too cumbersome, but he made do. They were the only shoes he owned. When Levi glanced behind him, he saw Erwin Smith following reluctantly, and so he stopped at the landing. "You're real slow, you know that?"

Erwin gripped the railing as he stepped up to the stair just below where Levi was standing. The older boy still towered over him. His faded blue eyes watched Levi's face impassively, and then he looked away.

"I'll try to be fast," Erwin said distantly.

"Yeah, okay." Levi spun around, and he burst through the door that led to the "play" room. It felt more like a clubhouse than anything else. When he entered, all eyes fell upon him. There was a shriek of delight when a lanky girl of around ten jumped to her feet and clasped her hands together excitedly.

"Finally!" Trudy Rafer cried. She was tall and skinny, her face long and warm colored, and her eyes large and gray. She had cropped, wispy hair that hung around her ears in sandy curls. "Took you long enough!"

"I'm fine," Levi snapped at his foster sister. "Thanks for giving a shit."

"Oh, please," Trudy sniffed, waving offhandedly. "Miss Harmon'd skin ya alive if you were in deep shit, and you know it."

Levi stepped into the room, which was expansive enough to fit the ten children of Harmon Orphanage. They were all sitting around in a circle, lounging on overturned boxes or crammed onto the chest of toys that had been donated or were collectively shared. Some sat on the floor, and some stood. At the center of the circle was lumpy a rucksack.

"We waited till you got back," Klaus Mendell said softly. He was a younger boy who enjoyed running, and thus was long-legged and willowy. His face was soft, and his eyes were the color of rotted wood. "It's only fair. You kinda saved our asses."

Levi maneuvered easily around Klaus, and he plucked up the bag. The contents shifted, and the faces of shiny red apples gleamed up at him. "No one saw you?" Levi asked.

"Do you think we'd have that if we were caught?" Trudy asked haughtily.

"The only way we got away is because of you," Klaus admitted. He turned to an even younger boy, who was all of four. He was the youngest, and the most naïve. The child still refused to accept he was alone in the world. "Don't listen to Trudy, she's just mean."

"Trudy," Henri, the small boy, said. "Why are you mean?"

"I'm not mean!" Trudy's brow furrowed. She rounded on the twins who sat complacently on the chest of toys. They were two girls with dark hair and freckles, and their names were Rosie and Hilde. "Am I mean?'

"A little," Rosie said, kicking her legs idly. "Hey, Levi, who is that?"

Levi glanced back at Erwin, who was standing in the doorway with a nervous look about him. "Erwin," Levi called. "Come here."

He entered the room slowly, and Levi shoved the bag in Trudy's face. "Pass these out," he told her.

"Say please," Trudy said snidely.

"Please," Levi hissed, smacking the back against her chest.

She smirked, and tossed him an apple. He caught it in one hand, glaring up at her smug face. "That's all I ask," she giggled.

"Bitch." Levi rolled his body in the air and plopped into the girl's seat the moment she sat up. She passed out the apples that had been stolen previous to Levi's diversion to throw the produce seller off his foster siblings' trail.

"Are you new?" Hilde asked Erwin, her head cocking to the side.

Erwin looked at her, and he nodded vacantly. "My name is Erwin Smith," he said.

"Uh," Trudy said, her voice trailing off. "Hey. Levi?"

"What?" Levi rolled his apple in his palm.

"There're ten apples."

He bit his tongue to keep himself from snapping at her. Well, how many else would you get, stupid? But he realized the problem. He looked up at Erwin, and he closed his eyes. How wonderful this day was turning out for him. Try and feed a house of orphans, and you get an empty stomach and a bloody head.

"Hey," Levi said, staring ahead of him blankly. "Erwin."

Erwin looked down at him, his eyes still distant and gauzy.

Levi tossed his apple at the older boy. "Eat up."

The boy caught the apple in one hand, and he stared down at it in shock. "No," he blurted, stepping back. "This is yours."

"Weren't you listening downstairs?" Levi asked in a bored voice. "I got caught stealing my apple."

"But—"

"Fighting Levi is pointless," laughed a round-faced girl. She was eleven, and too smiley all around. Her name was Lynette, and she was a very bright and energetic girl. She wore her mousy brown hair in pigtails. "He's pretty stubborn."

"Stubborn is cuttin' it short," Klaus said. He smiled warmly at Levi, but Levi ignored him. "Hey, Erwin, how old are you?"

"Twelve."

"Cool!" Trudy gasped. "So is Douglas!"

Douglas looked up from picking the grim out of his nails. He was a bulky boy with tightly curled brown hair and watery blue eyes. His face was a mess of freckles and acne. "What?" he asked.

"Doug, this is Erwin," Klaus said.

"I know that," Doug said, his eyes narrowing. "I'm not deaf."

Levi decided to tune out their voices after that. That first meeting had been normal enough. And Levi could never had known how Erwin Smith would be a catalyst for the worst of Levi's sorrows. How could he? To Levi, Erwin initially seemed like a nervous, doe eyed child. Like most new orphans.

He was first proved wrong about a month after Erwin's arrival. His eyes were no longer cloudy with grief, and he talked more to the other children curtly and politely, his demeanor always calm and easy. Miss Harmon loved him for the way he could wrangle all the kids together, and keep them silent. He had a way with getting people to listen to him. He was very skilled in the art of winning people over.

Levi was not easy to impress, however.

It was not odd for children in the slums to partake in fist fighting. There was a lot of pent up rage within their small bodies, and it was easier to take it out on each other than it was to actually deal with it. Levi was often a part of one-on-one fights, more often then not reigning supreme. He surprised other children and teenagers by holding his own against the majority of larger opponents. Levi was undeniably fast, and undeniably strong, but he was also full of an unquenchable fury that tipped the scale. There was no surrender for an unbendable child.

Fists flew at dusk. Levi, who was clothed in his baggy, threadbare slacks and too large boots and patchwork vest over a wrinkled cotton shirt, stood against a teenage boy who had taunted his height. The teenager was tall and broad-shouldered, his face severe and his silhouette intimidating. Levi looked rather scrawny in comparison.

And yet, Levi had brought the teenager, Nikel Maine, to his knees. He'd stood over the boy with his boot pressing into his cheek, his shoulders hunched in rage. "Now," Levi said, "who's puny?"

Nikel spat at Levi's feet. The teenager's gang, which Levi knew to be rather notorious around these parts of Yalkell, burst into laughter. Levi allowed himself to feel a little sense of pride. After all, he lost as many fistfights as he won, and it wasn't often he had an audience of this magnitude.

"Levi!"

Levi cocked his head back, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth where one of Nikel's stray punches had hit home. His eyes narrowed as Erwin Smith came jogging into the alley, his neat appearance a strange sight amongst hoodlums and thugs.

"What?" Levi asked, tensing up as Erwin stepped through the ring of spectators, appearing at the small boy's back.

"Miss Harmon's been looking for you," Erwin said, his eyes trailing to Levi's foot in Nikel Maine's nasty pug face. "You missed dinner."

"Do I look like I care?" Levi lifted his boot from Nikel's face. "I'm busy."

"The kid's got a 6-0 winning streak," the leader of Nikel's gang, Elroy Charnell, said. "How old are you again, Levi?"

"Nine."

A bout of snickers erupted through the group, Levi frowned a little as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Nikel got his ass whooped by a nine year old!" a heavy boy exclaimed.

"Shuddap," Nikel spat, blood spewing from his mouth and nose.

Erwin eyed Elroy with a wary gaze. "Levi," Erwin said steadily. "Let's go."

Levi didn't so much as spare Erwin a glance. "Nothing's stopping you," Levi said. "Leave."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." Levi dusted off his knuckles, which had been taped up with medical gauze by a bystander before his first fight. It was battered and torn, unraveling a little bit around his thumbs. "Leave. Unless you want to watch me fight, or fight me, get the hell out of here."

Erwin stood for a moment, staring down at Levi with a strangely cold gaze. "Fine," he said briskly.

Levi finally looked up at him. "What?" he asked, his brow furrowing a little.

"Fine," Erwin said, shrugging off his fine blaze, and tossing it aside as if it was as ratty as Levi's vest. "I'll fight you."

Levi laughed. He'd spun around, raising his chin high, and he'd barked a laugh so cynical it had burnt his tongue with the acidity of it. "Fine," he said eagerly, offering out his hand. Erwin grasped it tightly, his large fingers swallowing up Levi's slender ones. "But don't come crying when I mess up your prissy pig face."

Erwin's expression did not budge. He squeezed Levi's hand, and then let go to roll up his sleeves. He was wearing suspenders with trousers, having hung up his shorts when the weather had gotten cooler. As he rolled his sleeves, his forearms were bare to Levi, and so were pale scars winding around the older boy's wrists. Rope burns, Levi thought immediately. He'd been tied up his fair share, but mostly due to the cruelty of other children on the streets. And the burns never broke skin.

"Fight!" barked Elroy Charnell. And Erwin came at Levi without any reservations. Levi, who'd been distracted by the rope burns, received a blow to the side of his head that knocked him off his feet.

His ears were ringing after that. His equilibrium had been thrown off, and the dirt of the cobble filled his mouth with a dusty sweetness that mingled with the blood already there. The action of his head smacking against stone reopened the cut a grumpy MP had left on Levi's forehead, and blood pooled around his eyes. He pushed himself onto his knees, taking a steadying deep breath.

"Now will you come home?" Erwin asked, standing with an air of reluctance about him. He doesn't want to fight me, Levi thought anxiously. Fuck him.

"No," Levi said, spitting a bit of blood onto the cobble. He stood up, his knees wobbling a little. "I still think you should fucking leave."

Erwin sighed, and then he moved in for the next punch. But Levi knew it was coming this time, and he reached out and snatched Erwin's wrist, his fingernails digging into the white scars of rope burns. Levi watched Erwin's eyes widen, and he felt a shudder run through his arm as it jerked at the last moment, missing its target. Levi took advantage of this, and he jumped up, his bony fist moving into an uppercut and driving into Erwin's chin.

"Funny," Levi said, squeezing Erwin's wrist as he stumbled backwards. "Where did these scars come from?"

In response to Levi's question, Erwin backhanded him so hard that Levi was flung to the ground, his teeth cracking together painfully. His lip had split open, and blood dribbled from his nose, splashing again his already blood smeared face. Before Levi could recollect himself, Erwin drove his foot into Levi's chest, causing him to gasp a little. His eyes widened in surprise.

"I win," Erwin said sharply. "Now we're going home."

Levi's eyes were still wide when Erwin offered out his hand and helped him to his feet. He scowled at his feet, and said nothing when Erwin dragged him from the ring of spectators, snatching his blazer from the ground. Elroy Charnell stopped him, grabbing him by the arm.

"Hey," he said, smirking down at the two of them. "If you two want to meet up with me later—"

"Not interested," Erwin stated, wheeling Levi around and shoving him down the street. Levi went without objection. He was still a little stunned.

"You're a bastard, Erwin," Levi said quietly as they moved through the darkened streets.

"I'm aware."

"You're also not as prissy as I thought," Levi said slowly. He touched his nose gingerly. He hadn't much pride left at that point. He had no qualms in saying so.

Erwin walked by his side, looking straight ahead. "No?" he asked, sounding curious.

"No."

"Well," Erwin said. A small smile appeared on his lips. "That's nice to know."

"What the hell are you smiling at?" Levi snapped.

Erwin shrugged. "I'm just imagining the thrashing you're going to get from Miss Harmon," he said.

Levi sighed. He scratched his head with dirty fingers, and shrugged. "Miss Harmon doesn't really beat us," Levi said distantly. "She'll whack our knuckles with the spoon, or give us a smack when we're mouthy, but she never thrashes us around, or anything like that." He paused, and he glanced at the rope burns again.

Erwin pulled his sleeves down over his wrists to hide the scars. "Good to know," he said, with an equal amount of distance to his tone.

It was then that Levi began to pity Erwin Smith. And it was then that they became akin to friends.

Erwin found out Levi was illiterate around wintertime. He'd been reading from the pile of books he had brought with him (the books had outnumbered the articles of clothing in Erwin Smith's suitcase), and Levi had been sitting in the bed across from him. He'd watched Erwin flip through books as though they were blank, breezing through volumes with attentive eyes scanning pages.

"What book is that?" Levi asked. They were alone for the day, as most of the other children had decided to go with Miss Harmon to shop for dinner. Levi and Erwin had stayed behind out of disinterest.

Erwin said nothing, but shifted his grip on the book to hold up the cover. Levi stared at it blankly.

"What book is that?" he repeated, growing a little angry. He could see there were words emblazoned on its front, but he had no idea what it might say.

Erwin looked a little irritated as he held up the cover, tapping the title of the book impatiently. He still did not look up from the page he was reading.

Levi flung his legs over the side of his bed and walked to the foot of Erwin's. He continued to stare at the book cover until Erwin glanced up at him.

"What is it?" Erwin sighed.

"You won't tell me what that stupid book is."

"I showed you—" Erwin stopped. He stared at Levi, and then down at his book. Then he flipped the book around, and shoved it under Levi's nose. "Can you read this?"

He pointed to a slew of words. They looked like little smudges of symbols on an egg-white page. Levi took the book in his hands, clutching it tightly, and he stared down at the words for a long time. He stared at them with his jaw tight, and his shoulders tense, and he stared at them like he would stare down the barrel of a gun. There was nothing in his eyes but solid terror. Blood flooded his cheeks as he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"It's okay if you can't," Erwin said gently.

"Eat shit," Levi snapped, his eyes welling with tears of shame.

"Are you…?" Erwin sat up straight on his bed. "Hey, don't cry. Do you want me to teach you?"

"I'm not crying," Levi said, snapping the book shut and throwing it onto Erwin's mattress. "And I don't need you to teach me a damn thing."

"You don't need to be so stubborn," Erwin said weakly.

Levi whirled away, his bare feet squeaking against the floorboards. He was angry and ashamed, and it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Erwin could read so much so fast, and Levi couldn't even discern a title. It stung far too much for something so silly. And he hated himself for letting it get to him.

Erwin sat down at the foot of Levi's bed when the boy buried his flushed face in his pillow. "Do you know the alphabet?" Erwin asked. Levi responded with his middle finger raised up. "Come on, sit up. I'll teach you."

Levi sat up reluctantly as Erwin held up a journal and a pen. "Let's start with how much you know," Erwin said calmly. "Now. A…?"

Levi stared at him vacantly. "A…?" Levi repeated confusedly.

Erwin's face seemed to blanche. "Oh," he laughed nervously. "This might be harder than I thought."

"Wow," Levi sneered. "I'm so glad I asked to be taught."

"Be quiet and listen," Erwin said. " F…"

By the time the other children returned, Levi could write a very crude version of the alphabet, and recite it by heart.

Spring came, and Levi could read basic sentences. It was a difficult, agonizingly slow process. There were many instances when Levi threatened to jab his pen into Erwin's eye, or hand, or both, because he couldn't deal with his frustration. Why were words so hard? Why were there rules to grammar, and why was spelling so intricate and delicate? Why the fuck couldn't it just be easy?

"I don't understand this story," Levi said, slamming his pencil down.

"It's quite simple," Erwin said. "Come on, Levi. Just keep reading."

"We've been at this bullshit for hours."

"All the more reason to keep going," Erwin pushed. "You're making so much progress."

"You're lying."

"I'm serious," Erwin said, smiling warmly. Levi stared at him, and looked back down at the book, frowning pensively. "You're really doing well, Levi. You can read sentences, and write them too!"

"Yeah…" He chewed at the eraser of his pencil, and he shrugged. "Maybe. But I'm still no good at it. Not like you."

"I've been reading almost all my life," Erwin said, shaking his head. "You've only been reading for a few months."

"This is stupid," Levi grumbled, flattening out a page in Erwin's story. He read aloud as he began to write slowly. ""Make your… self quite easy," said the lee… uh… learned man," he read hesitantly, ""I will tell no one who you really are. Here is my hand— I… I… prom…isch—""

"Promise," Erwin corrected, peering over Levi's shoulder as he wrote.

"I promise, and a word is suf… what the fuck, Erwin?"

"Sufficient," Erwin said, reaching over Levi's arm, and pointing to the word in question. "Do you know what that means?"

"Uh, no," Levi said, gritting his teeth. "I thought you said these stories were meant for kids."

"They are," Erwin sighed. "Keep going, you're doing well."

"What does sufficient mean?"

"It's like… enough of something," Erwin said. He looked a little pensive. "Seriously, keep going."

"Fine." Levi scratched his head with his eraser. "Um… a word is sufficient between man and man." Levi tossed down his pencil. "This story is stupid."

"Do you want to read a different one?" Erwin asked, picking up the book gingerly.

"I hate fairy tales," Levi said.

Erwin smiled placidly. He had a lot of patience, and somehow he took everything Levi said in a stride. Levi couldn't fathom it. None of the other kids were ever so calm around him, no matter how used to his bratty personality they were. But Erwin seemed to just accept Levi utterly, without any reservations.

"Why is that?" Erwin asked. They were upstairs in the playroom, alone as usual, while the other children were outside actually playing. Levi couldn't help but be jealous of them.

"Because they're stupid!" Levi stood up, stretching his arms over his head. "No one in fairy tales actually acts like a person. They're all idiots who get themselves cursed, or eaten, or executed, or something horrible like that."

"Not too different from real life," Erwin muse aloud, smiling slightly as he lay down across the floor.

"Except real life hasn't got any happy endings," Levi said, wandering to the window to peer into the street. The other children were playing ball, kicking it around the cobbles and shrieking with delight.

"Neither does this story," Erwin said, rolling onto his stomach and tapping the open book. "The learned man dies in the end."

"But the shadow lives," Levi said. "The shadow gets a happy ending."

"But," Erwin said, looking up at Levi, "evil wins. That's not happy."

"It's happy for someone."

"That is strangely optimistic," Erwin said. "I wouldn't expect it from you."

Levi twisted to scowl at Erwin. "You know what I mean."

"Why can't things be happy?" Erwin asked, resting his chin in his arms. "What's so wrong with it?"

"It's unrealistic."

"How so?"

"Because there are no happy endings in this world," Levi said sharply. Erwin looked up at him, his eyes widening. "We die. We become stinking dead bodies, and that's our fate."

"But that…" Erwin frowned, and he sat up. "No, that's wrong. There's still happiness, even if we're all destined to die. Come on, Levi, now you're the one being stupid. Aren't you ever happy?"

"Of course." He found himself feeling embarrassed. "That's not the point."

Erwin sighed loftily. "You're so hard to talk to," he said, smiling faintly. "It's like arguing with a brick wall."

"Shut the fuck up, you prissy—"

"I joined Elroy Charnell's gang," Erwin said softly.

Levi froze. He stared at Erwin, who was sitting with the book of fairy tales in his lap, his head bowed. Levi knew that Erwin had been wealthy prior to coming to the orphanage. It was written in the way he spoke, the soft cadence of his words and the refined nature of his mannerisms. But he was never pretentious or condescending, and he never complained about how much he lacked now.

"You said gangs are worthless," Levi said, anger building inside him. "That they just promote senseless violence."

"I did say that."

"Then why the fuck—?"

"My business," Erwin said, raising his head to meet Levi's eye. "I just thought you might want to know. So you don't worry if I get home late."

"Why would I worry about your sorry ass?"

Erwin sighed. "I don't know, Levi," Erwin said, "but this way you can cover for me with Miss Harmon." He smiled up at Levi innocently. "Right?"

Levi stared at him. "You're not as nice as everyone thinks you are," Levi said darkly. "No. I won't. I want to join too."

Erwin's shoulders tensed up, and stood up, snapping the book closed. "Absolutely not," he said.

"I don't need your permission."

"What you need," Erwin said, hugging his book to his chest, "is a brain."

"I'm sure I can steal one," Levi snapped. "Since apparently that's the only thing I'm good at, right?"

"I never said that."

"You just called me stupid."

"You are stupid!" Erwin shook his head. "I mean, not stupid-stupid, you're just… you don't understand, Levi. You've gotten into so much trouble already, and I know that Miss Harmon is scared they'll take you away."

"Shut up." Levi folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not going to get taken away."

"You're not joining, okay?" Erwin stared at Levi, his gaze long and cold. "That's final."

"Go to hell, Erwin."

"I will gladly do so," Erwin said, turning toward the door. "It's not like I'm going to have a happy ending anyway, right?"

Levi almost ran after him to push him down the stairs.

Like most fights children have, this one faded fast. Levi and Erwin were back to reading fairy tales again before the week's end, and Levi decided not to broach the subject of the gang Erwin had joined. Instead they focused on the fact that the youngest among them, Henri, was to be adopted.

"You think he'll be okay?" Klaus whispered as they all watched the small boy leave.

"They seem nice," Trudy said, shrugging.

"That means shit," Levi spat. "I don't trust them."

"You don't trust anyone," Klaus laughed. Erwin stood stolidly behind them, before turning to speak with Douglas. He met Levi's eye, and shook his head. He seemed to disagree with Levi, which was unsurprising. Klaus elbowed Levi gently. "Hey, you wanna race?"

"You wanna lose?" Levi asked, his apprehension about Henri's adoption fading. His lips curled back, and he bent down to roll up his slacks.

"I ain't losing," Klaus said, grinning broadly. "Not to your skinny ass."

Levi moved to take off his shoes, which were far too big to properly race in, but Erwin stopped him.

"Don't go around barefoot," Erwin warned. "There's been a illness going around."

"I'm not going to get sick," Levi said, jerking away from Erwin.

"You never wash your hands."

Levi kicked off his boots. "Don't bitch at me, there's never any soap anyway."

"Levi…"

"Erwin's right," Trudy said. "You should wear your boots, Levi."

The cobbles were hot against his toes. Summer sun licked at his bare arms, and he shoved past Trudy. "You just want to see me lose."

Trudy threw her hands into the air. "Sorry for being genuinely concerned!"

Klaus rolled his shoulders as Levi crouched into position. "You wanna bet on it?" Klaus asked.

"What are you willing to give?" Levi asked.

"Well," Klaus grinned cheekily, "nothin', really. We're both broke off our asses."

"True," Levi said. "Loser steals dinner."

"Whoa," Klaus whistled. "Deal."

"Okay," Hilde said, stepping between them. "You two know the rules. You run to the end of the street, slap Rosie's hand, then run back. The first one to slap my hand wins."

Klaus crouched beside Levi, rolling up his own trousers before getting into position. Hilde looked between them as the rest of the children cleared out of the way.

"Ready?" Hilde asked. She raised her arms into the air, and let them drop. "Go!"

Levi bolted forward, streaking ahead of Klaus with a burst of speed. His bare feet slapped against the ground, and he maneuvered between passersby as he flung himself forward. He didn't dare look to see where Klaus was, and when he reached Rosie, who stood at the end of the street with her arms extended, he smacked her hand and pivoted.

As he ran back, he nearly stumbled over himself as a woman stepped into his path. She was skinny and tall, her long dark hair pulled into a ponytail at the nape of her neck. She was smiling lazily at him, and he gritted his teeth as he all but plowed into her, shoving her aside.

"Move!" he cried. But it was too late. Klaus had already gotten ahead of him, and as Levi skidded to a stop, his feet scraping painfully against the baking cobble, Hilde had already let her arms drop to her side. Klaus had won. Levi whirled around to face the woman who had distracted him. "Damn it, Schatz!"

Greta Schatz's large blue eyes glittered at the sight of him. "Aw," she giggled, "look at you! You're so big now, Levi!"

Klaus snorted, and Levi glared at him. "We all know that's a lie," Klaus laughed.

"Yeah," Trudy giggled, "Levi never grows!"

"I hate you all," Levi said glumly.

"No, I'm serious," Schatz said, stepping behind Levi and patting his head gently. He swatted her hand away. "You've gotten so big, I hardly recognize you."

"It really hasn't been that long since the last time you visited," Levi said, wrinkling his nose. He scooped up his discarded shoes, idly thinking about flinging them at Schatz's head.

"It's been forever," Schatz said. "I don't even know half these kids!"

"You know me," Klaus said.

"Yes, Klaus, I know you," Schatz said. "And of course the twins. Where's baby Henri?"

"Just missed him," Klaus said, unrolling his trousers. "He was adopted today."

"No way!" Schatz gasped. She was twenty years old, and she still acted like she belonged with the lot of them. "That's great!"

"Why are you here, Schatz?" Levi asked.

"I wanted to say hi?" Schatz looked at him, her splotchy face even redder in the summer sun. "Gosh, you've gotten even grumpier, haven't you?"

"He's always like that," Trudy said, waving at Levi offhandedly. "I'm Trudy Rafer."

"Greta Schatz," Schatz said, smiling warmly at the girl. "It's nice to meet you, sweetheart."

"Did you used to live here?" Trudy asked eagerly.

"Yes, actually," Schatz said. "I wasn't here as long as Levi, but I did live here for a while!"

"Cut the shit," Levi said sharply. "You're never this nice, Schatz."

"I don't think you remember me all that well," Schatz said, smiling at Levi. "I'm very nice."

"You're really not."

"I think Schatz is nice," Hilde said. Rosie appeared at her side, but said nothing. She looked a little stunned to see Schatz there.

"Thanks, Hilde," Schatz said, winking at the girl. "You're mighty nice too."

"Are you drunk?" Levi asked.

"Nope," Schatz said. She glanced at Erwin. "Oh, you're new, aren't you? What's your name, hun?"

"Erwin," he said hesitantly.

"Cute," she said, smiling. "Very cute. Now, I'm gonna talk to Miss Harmon."

"Good riddance," Klaus teased. Schatz shoved him gently in response.

"You damn kids," Schatz laughed. "You're all lousy little shits."

"That one would be true," Klaus admitted.

Levi grabbed Erwin's arm and began to drag him down the street. He looked startled. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"Stealing dinner."

After that, Levi began to see less and less of Erwin. There were brief periods were Levi wouldn't see Erwin at all, and he would lay awake at night wondering what the hell the boy was up to. What on earth could he be doing that had him out so late? And how did he manage to sneak in and out without Miss Harmon not noticing? It was a riddle for the ages, and Levi was stuck.

A few weeks into the winter, Nikel Maine took his revenge for the previous year's beating. Yes. Nikel Maine was very good at holding grudges.

"Hey," Nikel called one chilly winter afternoon. Levi had been cutting through an alley on his way back from visiting Henri, who had recently gotten a cold. He'd been coughing a lot while Levi had tried to talk to him, but after some light interrogation, he deemed the new family safe enough. He also promised to come visit again later in the week. "Runt!"

Levi turned around, twisting his head to glance at the teenager. His lip twisted in disgust. "What do you want, swine?" Levi asked.

Nikel tossed his hands into the air, a lazy smirk resting on his nasty face. He was dressed warmly, with a long coat hanging to his calves, a navy scarf, and dark gloves. All Levi had was a threadbare jacket, his patched up vest over a cotton shirt, and the same pair of slacks he always wore. Oh, and of course. His oversized shoes.

"Just hanging out," Nikel said, looking rather smug. "You know. So what's a little shit like you doing out all by your lonesome?"

"Don't patronize me," Levi snapped. His body coiled into a defensive position. "If you wanna fight, just get on with it."

"Patronize," Nikel repeated, whistling lowly. "Wow, big word! Did Smith teach it to you?"

Levi flushed at that, and he glowered at Nikel's face. And then, within the span of a heartbeat, there were three other boys surrounding Levi, snatching his arms before he could manage to fight them off. He struggled a little, startled at how quickly the situation had escalated. There was a difference between an alleyway fistfight and a gang assault.

"What the hell?" Levi asked aloud, twisting against the grip of the boys who gripped his arms. "What the fuck are you doing, Maine?"

"You're so mouthy," Nikel sighed, stalking up before Levi with something like malice glinting in his eyes. "You really need to learn to mind your tongue!"

Levi saw his fist coming down, and before it could make its mark he flung his leg up with as much force as he could manage. His boot crashed into Nikel's jaw, and Nikel's fist grazed Levi's cheek. And then there was chaos. Levi was flung to the ground, and no matter how hard he thrashed he was simply not strong enough to throw off four people.

"Let me go!" he snarled, his legs flying erratically. He was certain he'd caught someone in the groin, and he kept fighting as they pinning him to the icy cobbles. His hair pooled around his head, dark and wild. A boot slammed against his stomach, and he made a short choking noise. Levi was used to being beatem up. He was a child who had spent his early childhood digging through garbage cans and stealing scraps while lodging under awnings and crouching under porches. He had been beaten with fists, with the blunt end of guns, with belts and chains, with wooden spoons. He'd been beaten into the ground, and spat upon too many times, and his suffering only was prolonged.

Levi didn't scream or whimper when they continued to kick and punch him, his teeth colliding with knuckles and blood spewing from his mouth and nose, choking his senses. He'd been beaten before, and he would be beaten again. This was nothing new. It was just a part of his perfunctory life, his disgusting excuse for an existence. At birth he had been abandoned, and now he lived his life as an unwanted speck of filth. That was the way of the world, wasn't it?

By the time they were done beating him to a pulp, his mouth was too swollen to spit a bitter, "Fuck you," to his assailants. Instead he glared with all his might, his eyes barely holding open as his head pounded viciously from the various blows thrown upon it. He could not hear Nikel's laughter as he wiped his bloody grin, and held up Levi's large boots by the laces. His ears were ringing, and there was the whistle of winter wind biting at his senses. He was kicked onto his back one last time for good measure, and he coughed blood into the air.

He sat up when they were gone. His feet were bare, and his sight was impaired, hazy and red from blood smeared all across his face. His mouth tasted acrid, of blood and dirt and torn skin. He clutched his aching ribs, breathing heavily as he tried to push himself to his feet. It was getting too dark to be alone in an alley. Especially in his condition.

Levi struggled onto wobbly legs, feeling his way to a wall and digging his fingers into the brick. He was scared. There was undeniable fright inside of him as he staggered into the darkened streets, blood spilling warmly against his numb lips. Gusts of icy wind sliced against him, and his bare feet stuck to the freezing street until they were numb too. He was stunned with how mortal he felt. The last time he had ever felt so incredibly fragile was when he had still been living off the streets. And that was a long faded memory, distant and hazy. He'd lived at the orphanage for so long, it was strange and surreal to think that he used to live every night in absolute terror. And he'd been so young too; he just couldn't fathom how he'd done it.

He didn't even bother getting all the way to the door when he reached the orphanage. He merely plopped his ass down on a step, propped himself against the wrought iron rail, and he let himself slip out of consciousness. He only awoke when Erwin shook him, his face a floating white blur in the dimness of the chilly winter night. There was frost sticking to Levi's hair.

"What happened?" Erwin gasped, his breath misting against Levi's face.

Levi couldn't speak. He merely winced, and shrugged. He reached blindly, and clutched at the fabric of Erwin's jacket desperately as he fumbled to move his legs. Dried blood was crusted against his nose and mouth, and every gulp of air he took was a harsh pang of pain through his lungs. He felt dizzy as Erwin helped him to his feet.

"You're not okay at all," Erwin said as Levi's head lolled, collapsing against Erwin's arm. "I'm so sorry, I should have come home sooner."

Levi could only grip Erwin tighter, and think to himself, Like that'd help, bastard.

Erwin took him to the bathroom immediately upon entering the orphanage, and after sitting Levi down on the toilet he began to ask him questions. It puzzled Levi to no end, and his head was buzzing to the point where he felt like he was going to puke. He groaned, his head collapsing in numb fingers.

"Loud," Levi mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm. "Bright."

"Levi." Erwin snapped his fingers next to Levi's ear, and he jumped in shock. "Listen. I just need you to answer me, okay? So I know you're not concussed."

"Con-what?"

"What's my name?"

"Uh," Levi's brow furrowed, and he squinted through his swollen eyelids. "Erwin?"

Erwin smiled through the glare of light. "Good," he said. "How old are you?"

"Ten."

"Good," Erwin said. "What's your last name?"

Levi scowled. "I don't have a last name you shitfaced—"

"Okay, okay," Erwin said, raising his hands into the air. "I get it."

"Bastard." Levi's teeth hurt. "Prick."

"Open your mouth," Erwin said, bending onto his knees to peer at Levi's face. "I want to see if any of your teeth are broken."

"Fuck." The idea of it made him wince, but he opened his mouth anyway.

"Smile."

Levi's lips were too numb. "I don't think I can."

"Try."

He let his muscles pull, and his red teeth were bared for Erwin to see. The pain that shot through his skull was blinding.

"Well," Erwin said, "that's terrifying."

"Shut up."

"Good news," Erwin said, "your teeth are all good."

"They don't feel it."

Erwin shrugged. "Bad news." Erwin pinched Levi's nose, and Levi recoiled immediately, the back of his head smacking hard against the wall behind him.

"Ow!" Levi cried, clutching his head. "Shit!"

"Your nose is broken," Erwin said.

"No shit!"

"Shh," Erwin whispered. "Okay, lemme see—"

"Did you just say lemme?"

"Shh!" Erwin lifted Levi's chin, moving his head from side to side. "Doesn't look like anything else is bad. What hurts?"

"Everything."

"Cute." Erwin dropped Levi's chin. "I mean your bones. Your arms and legs are fine, right?"

"Yeah…" Levi sniffed, wiping the crusted blood off his nose. "My ribs hurt a little."

"Which ones?"

"I'm not telling," Levi said, grimacing. "You'll just poke and prod at me till I scream—"

"That's not what I'm doing at all!"

"Yeah?" Levi shoved Erwin back. "Then stop touching me, you prissy bast—"

The door burst open, and both Levi and Erwin jumped to their feet. A wave of vertigo hit Levi hard, and he stumbled, grabbing Erwin's arm for support. Miss Harmon stood before them with her eyes ablaze with fury.

"What the hell is going on in here?" she snapped, tying up her robe as she looked between the two of them. Her eyes fell on Levi's face. "Goodness, Levi!"

"I'm fine," Levi stated immediately. All of his words were muffled by the swell of his lips.

"He's lying," Erwin said. "His nose, and possibly some of his ribs, are broken."

"Where have you two been?" Miss Harmon asked, hurrying into the bathroom to grasp Levi's face, tilting it up so she could properly look at it. He felt wholly mortified, and he wriggled a little with discomfort. "Levi, I can barely even see your face, there's so much blood."

"I'm sure the world is rejoicing," Levi snapped.

"Tell me what happened," Miss Harmon said. "Now."

"I got beaten up," Levi said. "It's not new."

"Where were you two?"

"I…" Erwin looked down at Levi, and he took a deep breath. "I—"

"He went out looking for me," Levi said. He wiped at his nose, and wince at the pain. Flakes of dried blood dusted across his knuckles. "I passed out in an alley, so… he came to find me."

Erwin stared down at him, but his face was impossible to read.

"Erwin?" Miss Harmon asked.

"Yes?" Erwin responded weakly.

"Is this true?"

Erwin nodded. "Yes," he said, lying easily. "I was very worried."

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"I didn't want to get Levi into trouble." Erwin stood up straighter. "I'm sorry. That was wrong of me, I should have gone to you right away when I sensed something was wrong."

Levi turned his face away, stifling a smile. Manipulative bastard, he thought. He couldn't help but admire his charisma. Levi could never twist Miss Harmon so effortlessly.

"All right, Erwin," Miss Harmon sighed. "Go to bed."

"What?" Erwin asked. He looked down at Levi. "But—"

"Levi needs to take a bath," Miss Harmon said. "God forbid he catches the plague that's been going around."

"That's still a thing?" Levi asked. That was news to him. He thought the disease had died out months ago.

"Yes," Miss Harmon said, "and it's still very deadly. Have you been washing your hands?"

"Always," Levi stated dryly. His head hurt. His ribs hurt. All he wanted was to sleep.

"I thought there was a cure for the plague," Erwin said distantly.

"There is," Miss Harmon said, yanking Levi by the arm. "But common folk like us can't afford it."

Erwin said nothing. He stared at Levi, and then he shrugged, leaving the room without another word.

And thus was the most traumatic bath of Levi's young life.

Levi knew it was stupid to go outside without shoes on— especially with the newly fallen snow. But Levi had promised Henri he'd come visit him later in the week, and visit he did. He walked from the orphanage to Henri's home, baring the icy ground without complaint. It wasn't so hard to ignore once his toes went numb. And besides, Miss Harmon promised to get him new shoes soon.

Levi knocked at the door, eager to get out of the cold. He hopped from foot to foot, breathing warmth into his icy fingers. There was no answer.

"Henri!" Levi called. He hopped off the porch, twisting around the rail to peer up into a low window. He rapped at the frosty glass gently, his eyes flickering. It looked as if no one was home. "Hey, Henri!"

The door creaked open. Levi smiled a little, and he grabbed hold of the railing, heaving himself over it and dropping himself easily before the door. Henri stood there, small and frail looking. The last time Levi had seen him, the child had looked sick. Now he looked like a propped up corpse. His skin was waxy, and his hair stuck to his face limply as he stared at Levi with hollow eyes. There was blood and vomit crusted onto his lips.

Levi's smile fell into a horrified gape.

"Le…vi?" Henri breathed. His voice was reedy and thin, drifting into the air and grasping onto nothing as it faded fast.

"Yeah," Levi said, his eyes widening. "Yeah, I'm here. Let's… let's go find a doctor. Come on." Levi held out his hand, but Henri merely stared up at him with gauzy eyes drooping.

"Levi," he whispered. His voice shook. "They won't wake up, Levi. They won't."

Levi felt Henri's words hit him like a blade through his spine. He stood for a moment in utter shock.

"Show me," Levi said. His hand was still extended, and Henri took it shakily. It was cold and clammy.

Henri took Levi to a bedroom, where his adoptive parents laid in a bed of blood and sick. Levi didn't need to check that they were dead, but he left Henri's side to do it anyway. He went to the woman's side first, lifting his shirt to his nose to avoid the intermingled smell of vomit and blood and death. Her eyes were open, and her mouth was parted in its last cough.

Levi jumped when a cough smashed through the silence of the room. A body hit the floor with such force, the doorframe shook, and Levi ran to Henri's side. He'd fallen onto his knees, coughing into his hands with wide, terrified eyes. The cough sounded more like glass shattering inside the boy's throat, and he lowered his hands, rivulets of blood slithering down his chin.

"Hey," Levi said quietly, fearful to touch the sick child. "Get up. Let's get you to a doctor, okay? You'll be okay."

There were tears in Henri's eyes as he slumped forward, his head falling against Levi's chest. He began to shake, his frail body trembling against the strain of a cough that spilled across his lips, splattering Levi's chest bright red. And then he began to sob. He grasped Levi's arms, clinging to him with a frightening amount of strength, and he sobbed helplessly into Levi's chest. There was nothing that could be done. Levi stared and felt his own body begin to quake from fear and horror, his eyes stinging with tears as the dying child screamed and clutched at him.

"Shh," Levi said weakly. "It's… it's okay, shh…"

Henri's body seemed to give out after one last cough sliced against the air. He crumpled, and Levi caught his tiny body, laying his small head in his lap. His eyes were still open, his parted lips sucking greedily for a little air, just a little bit more air. Tears clung to his cheeks in poison trails, and blood was still expelling from his lips.

"Levi," the boy said, "I… I want…" Fresh tears pooled in his eyes, and his lips trembled.

"What do you want?" Levi asked, grasping Henri's bloody hand. "Tell me. I'll get it."

"Home…" His eyes drooped, and in that moment he looked even younger than five, he looked like a wane little toddler staring up into a great abyss.

Levi's stomach lurched. "Home," Levi whispered. "Yeah. I'll take you home. We'll go once you rest, okay? Just hold on…"

Henri's tiny corpse did not respond. Levi couldn't. He couldn't even grasp the enormity of what had just happened. He just stared and stared and stared, bile stinging his throat, and he squeezed the small, red hand of the boy hopelessly. He found himself shaking his head.

"No," he said. He dropped Henri's hand, and he skittered across the floor, trying to put as much distance between him and the body as possible. He could feel his bones trembling, and his ribs still hurt from the beating he'd received earlier in the week. It didn't matter. He breathed heavily, his eyes burning with angry tears. "No, no, no…"

He clapped his hands over his mouth to stifle a sob, but all he got as a mouthful of blood.

His eyes widened.

Oh no, he thought numbly. He pulled his hands back, and stared at them. They were both reddened with Henri's contaminated blood.

He lurched to his feet, running to the nearest sink and flinging his hands under the faucet. He scrubbed for as long as he could, and in his horror he buckled, vomit spilling from his lips and mixing with the blood staining his mouth. He gripped the sink with white knuckles as he slumped, his sweaty forehead pressing against the cool porcelain.

There was a terrible fear that gnawed at his chest as he realized his fatal error. If he had been smart, he wouldn't have gone near Henri. If he had been smart, he would have just left the child alone the moment he realized how sick he truly was. But no. Levi could never be so heartless, not to any family of his.

And his reward for his empathy?

A grave.

He knew from the moment he began coughing that he was doomed. He washed his hands often in the next few days, and though no one knew that Levi had been around the plagued corpses, it would soon become apparent. He grew very quiet, very distant, and he refused to go outside. Erwin was barely around, so how could he be worried? Miss Harmon wrote it off as a cold from not wearing shoes, so she allowed him to stay in, and gave him a little extra soup, and admonished him for his carelessness.

He scratched at his knuckles until they bled, and each cough strangled him worse and worse. He was holding in his sickness like the most deadly of secrets, and he carefully avoided physical contact with anyone and everyone. Unfortunately for him, the sickness burned through him fast. And soon there was no denying what ailed him.

"Miss Harmon!" Trudy called from the bathroom door. "Levi's throwing up again!"

He was slumped against the bathtub, his breathing shallow and erratic. Bile was clawing up his throat, and his stomach tied itself into a thousand knots and curled around his lungs, constricting his breath.

"What's happening?" Erwin's voice drifted into the bathroom, and he poked his head in curiously. Levi could not see him past the faint outline of his face. "Levi…?"

"He's been sick all week," Trudy sighed. "There's nothing creepier than Levi being quiet."

A cough built inside his chest, parading through him like a battalion of soldiers stomping against his lungs. It burst from his lips sharply, agonizingly, slicing against his throat without mercy and sending him lurching onto his hands and knees as his body wracked. Blood spattered against the floor without him even realizing it, and his tongue burnt with the bitterness of it.

He felt Erwin's hand on his back, and Levi jolted. He smacked Erwin's arm away, crashing onto his side and curling into a ball as he rasped, his eyes wide as blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.

"D-don't—" he coughed, "touch…"

Erwin's face floated above him, swimming in a sea of tears. It was hard and unyielding.

"How long has he been like this?" Erwin asked.

"He wasn't this bad this morning," Trudy said weakly. "Miss Harmon!"

"It's no use." Erwin turned toward the door. "He's going to die."

"What?" Trudy asked. Her voice was soft, and it bled into Levi's mind, corrupting and maiming and ensnaring. He was sickened by her, and by Erwin, and by everyone. He just wanted to be left alone.

"He'll die," Erwin said. It was strange, hearing it spoken aloud. Levi had known from the start what was going to happen, but even so. It hurt. He didn't want to die. "Unless..."

"Unless?" Trudy's voice heightened in terror. "Erwin! Can't we save him? Come on!"

"There's a cure," Erwin said hesitantly.

"Then let's get it!"

Their voices were nothing but a haze now. Levi coughed weakly.

"It's not that simple…"

"It's gotta be!"

Erwin paused. And then, he took a deep breath. "Okay," he said. "I'll see what I can do."

"You better!" Trudy sounded strangely furious. "If he dies, it's on you."

"I understand."

He left without another word, and Levi tried to sit up, but he couldn't quite get his arms to work. He heard Trudy scream one more time as he toppled over, his head smacking hard against the floor.

Everything that happened next was a distant blur of pain. He was in and out of consciousness, awakening in a cold sweat with sheets plastered to his body, or shivering so badly that he bit his tongue. He was fumbling for his senses, coughing and blinking blindly at the ceiling, hoping for some kind of salvation. He was terrified of his sickness, and he was terrified of himself. He woke up in tears more often than not.

He greedily accepted any water given to him, despite knowing it would probably not stay down. Levi was hovering between life and death, half a corpse already as he rotted away in a bed, coughing and twisting and fighting off nightmares. There was a veil over his senses, and he wanted to fight it so badly, but he couldn't. There was something surreal about his affliction, and he was caught in a web of feverish dreams and blazing nightmares. This is hell, he thought, it must be hell.

"Levi."

The voice was distant. It licked through his head, snarling through him like a volley of flames.

"No," Levi rasped, a steady hand cupping his head. Blood splashed against the air. He felt a bowl press to his lips, and he twisted blindly, fighting for nothing and everything. "No, stop…"

The struggle was in vain. He clawed at the arms that tried to feed him, grasping wildly and hopelessly. Tears stung inside his eyes. "G-get away…"

Paste hit his tongue, acrid and he nearly choked on the thick consistency of it. It was acrid and warm, sliding against his throat slowly and burning his senses. His fingers flew out, scraping against skin as he fought against the gagging sensation. Levi blinked as he swallowed, his eyes widening and he couldn't breathe or think or feel. Tears were slipping freely against his wane cheeks.

He stopped struggling. He stared up at Erwin Smith with shock in his eyes, and blinked rapidly as he swallowed up the rest of the medicine. It was thick and pasty, and it didn't go down easily, but he managed it somehow. He lay in his bed, a little stunned, and he coughed a little. Blood stung against his tongue, mingling with the acidity of the paste.

"You're going to live," Erwin whispered. He pressed his hand to Levi's hair, and for a moment he smiled warmly. "You have to live, you here me?"

Levi's eyes searched his face. His chest was aching, and his breathing was heavy, and he felt frail and idiotic. But even so, the corners of his lips twitched up ever so slight.

"Okay…" he breathed, closing his eyes. "Okay…"

And live he did. Within a few days, Levi's symptoms faded, and his recovery began. He'd lost a lot of weight, and a lot of interest. He didn't want to race Klaus anymore, or fistfight, or read. He sort of just wandered around day in and day out, feeling a little lost and jittery. He was haunted by Henri, and by the sickness that had bled him dry.

Erwin dropped the book of fairy tales onto his bed one evening.

Levi sat up reluctantly, as he'd been trying to sleep, and he squinted at Erwin's face. "What?" he asked, rubbing his at his eyes groggily. "What the hell do you want?"

"I wanted," Erwin said, folding his arms across his chest, "to say happy birthday."

"Oh." Levi blinked up at the ceiling, and frowned. "Was that today?"

"Yes, Levi," Erwin sighed. "That was today."

"You know it's not the actual date of my birth, right?" Levi asked. "It's just the day Miss Harmon took me in."

"Who cares?" Erwin sat down on Levi's bed, smiling at him gently. "It's still a special day. You should be more attentive to it."

"Mm…" Levi plucked up the book, and as he did so he noticed Erwin had rolled up his sleeves. He paused to stare at the rope burns, as he tended to do when Erwin's arms were bare. "Hey, Erwin…"

Erwin followed Levi's gaze, and he actually rolled his eyes. "If I tell you," Erwin said, "will you stop being so weird about them?"

"Yes," Levi said immediately.

That caused Erwin's face to fall. He looked a little uncertain, and he rubbed at his wrists. The scars were fading, and would likely be gone within a few years, but they were still rather prominent to Levi.

"Well…" Erwin pressed his lips together, and he pulled his legs onto Levi's bed. He looked around anxiously, and leaned closer to Levi. "You can't tell anyone, okay?"

"Okay." Levi watched Erwin's face. He looked like a nervous child, much like the boy Levi had first met. "Who tied you up?"

Erwin was very quiet. His body seemed to be froze as he stared at Levi, but saw right through him, his eyes boring into the wall behind him. There was not a breath that could be heard, and Erwin anxiously rubbed circles around his fading scars.

"My father," Erwin said finally. The words were a whisper, a strange and horrified secret that slipped from his lips as if poisoned. His eyes were a little wide, as if the words scared him.

To Levi, it meant nothing. "Why?" he asked curiously.

Erwin averted his gaze. Slowly and tremulously, a smile came to his lips. "I don't know," he admitted. "I… I never asked."

"What'd he do?" Levi asked. "After he tied you up?"

Erwin sighed. He glanced at the entryway, and then at Levi. "Hold on," he said. He lifted his hands to the buttons of his shirt, and slowly began to undo them. Before he even opened the shirt, Levi began to understand. White scars glowed against Erwin's abdomen, jagged and rising like small mountain ranges across his ribs.

"Holy shit," Levi blurted, whistling a little. "And I thought I've had my share of beatings."

Erwin smiled placidly. "Maybe I shouldn't show you my back, then," Erwin said.

"No way," Levi said. "He whipped you? I mean, I've gotten whipped, sure, but…"

Erwin shrugged, and he dropped the shirt a little bit as he twisted around. The scars on his back were something unreal. A massive canvas of overlapping strokes, twisted and bright against shoulder blades and spine, broadening across his shoulders in a feverish carving. And then Levi realized, with a horror, that there was an actual design to the awful scars.

"Are those wings?"

Erwin shrugged again. "Maybe?" He pulled up his shirt, buttoning it back up. "I never asked."

"That's fucked up."

Erwin somehow laughed. "How eloquently put," Erwin said. "But yeah, it's fucked up."

"And he just did this shit… just to do it?" Levi felt a little guilty for broaching the topic, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm really not sure," Erwin said. "He liked to pretend that it never happened. He acted like he didn't know where the scars came from." Erwin wrung his hands nervously, and he sighed. "I… I don't think he was in his right mind, to be honest."

"What happened to him?" Levi asked.

"He… died." Erwin's body rocked back and forth, and he stared up at the ceiling for a few moments. "He had too much to drink, and drowned himself. Don't ask me why he did that either, because I have no clue."

"That's really… really awful," Levi said quietly.

"It happened," Erwin said. "I'm not too shaken up over it anymore."

Levi stared at him. And then, he held up the book of fairy tales. "Why did you give me this?" he asked suddenly.

"Because I honestly don't think you can read my history text book." Erwin smiled, and he laughed when Levi tried to smack him with the book. "I'm kidding. You could probably read half of the words in it. Maybe."

"Why the hell would I want a book of dumb fairy tales?" Levi asked.

"Because," Erwin said, slipping off the bed, "you saw happy endings where there were none. You should have it."

"That's a stupid-ass reason, Erwin."

"Just take the book, and quit complaining."

Levi sighed. "Fine," he said glumly. "Whatever. Thanks for telling me about the scars."

"Thanks for listening."

Levi watched Erwin move slowly out of the room. Beneath the white cotton of his shirt, Levi could see the faint outline of the scars. His lips twisted into a grimace, and he tossed the book too the foot of his bed, flopping onto his back.

"Asshole," he grumbled, flipping onto his side, his back turned to Erwin's retreating figure.

Levi ended up reading the fairy tales anyway. He struggled at first, without Erwin there to guide him, but eventually he got the hang of it. He began to head up onto the roof at night to read by starlight, because that was really the only time the other children didn't tease him relentlessly, or ask for him to come play. Didn't they understand that he just did not want to fucking play anything? He was tired, and he was still dazed from his illness. He also had difficulty getting dirty anymore. He struggled to touch anyone whose hands had not been sanitized previously, or go outside without shoes again. He would gladly waste away inside before he got sick again, thank you very much.

"Levi?"

He'd been reading on the roof, squinting at the pages in the darkness, when Erwin's face had appeared over the side of the roof. He heaved himself up, balancing himself conscientiously. Levi looked at him with a dull gaze, and he shook his head, looking back down at his book.

"You're reading." Erwin stood above Levi with his thick eyebrows raised. "Can you even see the words?"

"Yes, I can see the damn words. Why would I stare at a page I couldn't see, idiot?"

"Calm down," Erwin sighed, crouching beside him. He looked up. "Whoa. It's really clear."

"Yes," Levi said, "the sky tends to be when there aren't any big-ass clouds blocking it."

"You have no people skills," Erwin sighed. "Just agree and say the sky looks pretty. Is that so hard?"

"Yeah."

Erwin smiled in disbelief. "Hopeless," he chuckled. "You are absolutely hopeless."

"Is there a reason why you're up here?" Levi asked. He looked up at the sky, and he found his shoulders slumping. The great expanse of darkness was dotted with a sprinkle of glimmering lights, twinkling vaguely and trailing across the blanket of blackness. He could feel the warmth of them, despite the heavy weighing distance.

"I saw you," Erwin said. "I wanted to know what was going on."

"Just me," Levi said. "And this dumb book. Which I hate."

"Which is why you read it."

"Yes, exactly."

"You are singularly the strangest person I have ever met, Levi," Erwin said, ruffling Levi's hair.

"If you do that again," Levi said, his eyes flashing dangerously, "I'll push you off this roof and be the last person you ever meet."

"Fair enough."

Erwin sat himself down beside Levi, looking pensive as he tilted his head back toward the stars. Levi felt his exhaustion as it leaked from his body, pouring from the tension in his muscles and face. When did he start looking so old? Levi found himself thinking. There was a bitterness to the revelation that Erwin was getting older. And so was Levi. He didn't want to admit that he was scared of what that meant for him.

"What are you thinking about?"

Levi blinked up at Erwin's face. "What?" he asked.

"You've got this funny look on your face," Erwin said.

"I don't know how you can even see my face clearly," Levi sighed. He closed his book. "I'm not thinking about anything."

"So," Erwin said, "no different than usual?"

"You really want me to push you, don't you?"

Erwin laughed. "I'm kidding," he said, smiling easily. Levi had a nagging feeling that he was putting on an act.

"What are you thinking?" he asked sharply.

"Oh," Erwin said. "Well, I'm thinking about the stars."

"Really?" Levi frowned. "They're just stars."

"I've read some great books about them," Erwin said, his eyes brightening up considerably. "The stars are really wonderful! The world is such a vast place… and so much bigger than what these tiny walls deceive."

"I didn't know you were so passionate about the outside world."

Erwin pulled his knees up to his chest, and he sighed. "I've always been interested. I just never tell anyone about it because it's not something most people are interested in."

"It's also frowned upon." Levi smirked against the early spring wind. "You're a full blown heretic, aren't you?"

"I've said nothing blasphemous, have I?" Erwin picked at the shingles of the roof idly. "I only stated a fact. There is a world beyond the walls. And I believe it's much bigger than our human minds can properly conceive."

"Okay, put those big damn words back into your pocket," Levi said, rolling his eyes. "Simpler terms, Erwin."

"I just mean," Erwin said, "that I'm only telling the truth, and that there's no telling how big the world actually is until someone goes and explores it."

"The people who have tried just ended up titan food," Levi reminded.

"And what if there were no titans?" Erwin wondered aloud, laying himself back against the slope of the roof. He watched the stars with a glow in his eyes Levi had never seen before. "What if, by some miracle, we were free? Then we could explore this world. See just how big it truly is."

"It sounds like suicide."

"Maybe it is," Erwin said. His pale face was lit by the glow of his eyes and the shimmer of stars. "Maybe it's crazy. But it's a nice bit of hope, isn't it? Even if it's a silly dream, there's still hope to it."

"Yeah," Levi said distantly, not truly understanding. "Maybe."

Clouds melted across the wide expanse of sky, and the illusion of the mysterious, vast world waiting for them was lost very suddenly. There was no retrieving the lost revere, and there was no salvaging their broken impressions of the world at hand. It had never occurred to Levi before that he was trapped. But now that he explored this new thought, he realized it was true. They were stuck inside stone walls with no inkling of what lay beyond for them. And that was truly terrifying. And stunning.

In late spring, Erwin was called to sort out various legal affairs to do with his father's death. He was finally deemed old enough to properly deal with the complications of being orphaned, and so he left that morning with an uncertain disposition.

"It's not like they're going to ask you about his death, or some shit like that," Levi said, frowning up at Erwin as he waited for a carriage to pick him up. He'd be gone the entire day, and though he'd promised to be home before dark, Levi didn't count on it.

"It's not that," Erwin said slowly. He looked around nervously, his body rigid in fear. "Levi, I need you to promise me something."

"Yeah?"

Erwin turned to face him. His face was hard, and his eyes were firm and cold. "Be careful," Erwin said, his voice brisk and almost reprimanding. He stared at Levi for a very long time, and it was clear in the way his mouth parted that he had much more to say. But the carriage pulled up, and Erwin was left to stare intensely at Levi's face.

"Yeah, whatever," Levi said. He shoved his hands into his pockets, and turned away. "Have fun."

"I'm serious—!"

"I'm not going to get into any trouble, okay?" Levi shook his head, and waved back at Erwin. "I'll be fine."

He walked home without bothering to look back. He'd see Erwin whenever he returned, and that was fine. Until then he could find a nice, quiet place to read. Or maybe he'd actually play with the other children for once. Yes, that sounded nice. Not that he was sure about racing Klaus or anything like that, but it would be nice.

"Hey, grumpy-face," Trudy giggled as he made his way up the road to the orphanage. The majority of the kids were playing ball in the street. "Is Erwin gone, then?"

"Yeah." Levi shrugged. "He'll be back later."

"He's so busy," Trudy whined, pouting a little. "It's not fair. He should come play with us more often."

"You both should," Hilde piped up, kicking the ball to Levi's feet. The girl smiled warmly. "It's nice to see you outside, Levi."

"Yes," Rosie agreed. "It's nice to see you active."

"I'm sorry," Levi said earnestly. "I just don't feel up to games."

"You can watch," Klaus offered, appearing at Trudy's side. He had a goofy smile on his face. "I mean, if you don't want to play. I'm just glad, y'know, that you ain't cooped up in the house. You're too quiet, man."

"I'm only quiet because I've got nothin' to say to your ugly pig face, Klaus."

"There we go!" Klaus chirped, clapping Levi's shoulder. He was taller than Levi now, which was odd. "That's the Levi we love."

"Don't touch me."

"Oops." Klaus looked a little sheepish as he released Levi. "Sorry."

Trudy prodded Levi's side, and he glared at her. "You've gotten really skinny!" Trudy gasped, pinching his ribs. "It's kinda gross."

He shoved her very hard. "Don't think I won't beat the shit out of you," Levi said in a low voice. "Because I'm more than willing to skull drag you from here to Wall Maria."

"Whoa," Trudy whistled. She held up her arms, and giggled. "So scary!"

"Aw, quit it, Trudy," Lynette said, her plump face appearing beside Trudy's. "You're so mean to him."

"Why am I the mean one?" Trudy asked, giving a huff of exasperation. "Levi's plenty mean too!"

"Yeah, but Levi's only mean because you provoke him," Hilde pointed out.

"Yes," Rosie agreed. She had cut her hair very short in comparison to Hilde's likely to place a decent amount of difference in their features. Even so, the twins looked uncannily similar, and it was difficult to remember which one was which. "You are mean because you want to be. Levi is mean because he is defending himself."

"Levi's not an angel, you know!" Trudy cried, waving her arms around as she whined. Klaus laughed beside her, and the rest of the children began to crowd around. Without Erwin and Henri, there were still nine children in all. Nine very raggedy, very underfed children. But what could be done?

"Come on," Klaus said, kicking the ball to Levi's feet. Levi stared at it blankly. "Try one game."

"I told you I'm not feeling up to playing dumb games." Levi kicked the ball back to Klaus, and he turned toward the door. He felt a vacancy crawling inside him. It was beginning to fill up with a silly sort of warmth. He paused at the door, and he looked up. He blinked rapidly at the crevices inlaid into the wood, and his body began to loosen. "But, I mean…" He struggled to find the words that would suit him. "If you really want me around, maybe later I can read to you guys?"

"You know how to read?" Klaus blurted.

Trudy snorted in disbelief. "Since when?"

"Do you want me to read you a damn story, or not, shitface?" Levi snapped at her.

"Fine!" she laughed, flinging her arms into the air. "I'm sure this'll be good!"

"Shut up, Trudy," Doug said quietly. "Erwin taught him."

Levi didn't ask how Douglas knew that. He went inside alone, resting his back against the door and staring into the entryway with furrowed eyebrows. It was difficult, but he was beginning to accept what had happened. To Henri, to him. Did I ever thank Erwin for saving me? he wondered. There was no certainty to it. After all, he had been very lost in his own thoughts since recovering from the illness that almost claimed his life.

As Levi was washing his hands, Miss Harmon poked her head into the bathroom.

"Oh," she sighed, tucking a strand of wiry gray hair behind her ear. "There you are. Erwin's gone, then?"

"Yeah," Levi said. He scrubbed at his knuckles, and he shrugged. "He said he'd be back tonight."

"That boy is never around, is he?" Miss Harmon shook her head, and she rested her shoulder against the doorframe as she watched Levi scrub. "You two are close, aren't you?"

"Uh," Levi said, pausing in his efforts to eradicate the scum from beneath his fingernails. "I dunno. Sure."

"So…" Miss Harmon sighed, and Levi listened to her with bated breath. He knew Miss Harmon could be very nurturing, but he was so used to her caustic personality it often stunned him. "What has he told you?"

Levi flicked off the faucet, and he spun to face the woman. His face was impassive, but his insides were twisting. "What do you mean?" he asked slowly.

"Did he tell you why he's here?" Miss Harmon asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," Levi said. "His dad died. I mean, why else would he end up in a shitty orphanage— no offense."

"None taken," Miss Harmon said, her lips tightening into a hard line. "Mind your mouth, Levi."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Did he tell you how his father died?" Miss Harmon asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," Levi said, scratching absently at the pallid skin of his knuckles. "But I'm not sure if—"

"I know," Miss Harmon said. "I know everything. I just wanted to clarify, before speaking with you about it."

Levi stared at the woman, and he looked down at his hands. Suddenly they felt very dirty, and he couldn't place why. So he merely scratched at them harder. "Oh," he said faintly. "What… about it?"

"Well for starters," Miss Harmon said, "does he seem all right to you?"

"Yeah…?" Levi bit his lip. He didn't like this at all. "He's fine. Why?"

"Going through his father's things will be a trial," Miss Harmon said softly. "For a boy who suffered such heavy abuse, I'm just worried. I think someone should have gone with him."

"I would have," Levi said, "if he asked. But he didn't. He wanted to be alone, and I don't blame him."

Miss Harmon sighed, and she looked almost reluctant to broach upon the topic. "You don't find him strange, do you?" Miss Harmon asked. Levi's eyebrows rose. "I mean, you don't find it odd that he's so distant?"

"He likes being alone," Levi said, shifting with discomfort.

"I know," Miss Harmon said, "and that's what concerns me."

"What is this really about?" Levi asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I just find it strange," Miss Harmon said. "He said he got a job, and I trusted that. He seems like an honest boy. He even bought your shoes, Levi."

Levi looked down at the new boots, which were firm soled and comfortable. So unlike the awful oversized scum-collectors his last pair had been.

"So…?" Levi asked. He knew where this was going, and he didn't like it.

"So," Miss Harmon said, "I need to know where he's actually getting the money. I refused to take the money when he first approached me about it, but I've only just found out… He feeds money into the Orphanage's account monthly."

"Wow, really?" Levi wasn't really listening anymore. "That's nice."

"Isn't it?" Miss Harmon shook her head furiously. "That boy might have good intent, but I won't stand for the devil's work funding this orphanage."

"Devil's work?" Levi repeated, scoffing. "Erwin's… he wouldn't be doing anything terrible, he's too damn nice."

"Don't get me wrong," Miss Harmon said. "I love Erwin. He's very sweet, and I'm definitely indebted to him now, but… I can't let whatever is going on happen any longer."

"Nothing is happening," Levi said instinctively. And he wanted to believe it so desperately it hurt. Why couldn't Erwin just stop whatever… whatever the fuck he was really doing? Levi scratched at his knuckles thoughtlessly, his eyes darting away from Miss Harmon's face.

"I know you're lying," she said. "I don't know why, but I know you are. Levi— Levi, you're bleeding!"

Levi had scraped his fingernails too hard against his peeling knuckles, and he blinked as a little blood pooled around the stinging flesh, coagulating in crevices of skin. He whirled around, shoving his hands beneath his faucet and flinging the water on. The pressure was aching, and it felt as though his bones were bending backwards as he scrubbed at his hands with a mechanical fury. He needed to get them clean, he needed to get the blood off, he needed to—!

"Levi!" Miss Harmon cried, grabbing his wrists. There were tears stinging his eyes when she pulled his hands from the bursting cascade that burned his bleeding knuckles, and she forced him to look her in the eye. She slowly slipped into a kneeling position, her wizened hands grasping the burgeoning redness that trailed across his tiny ones. "Oh, Levi… I'm so sorry."

"What?" His eyes flashed wide, and he yanked at his arms, feeling stupid and ashamed. "Why?"

"I knew there was something bothering you," Miss Harmon said, "but I thought it would fade, I never thought that…"

"That what?" His eyes stung with tears, and his face was flushed and burning. "Let me go!" He yanked back, and he stumbled as Miss Harmon released him. Blood was slick on her fingers and his own, so he ran back to the sink. The bite of the water against the exposed cuts hurt in a way that sent a shiver down his spine.

Miss Harmon waited patiently as the tears overwhelmed him, and a sob bubbled up inside his chest, tearing from his mouth. He didn't know what had brought this onslaught of emotional turmoil, but he was so afraid and so angry and so ashamed, he felt as though the sobs were morph into a sickness. His sobs were stifled by his hands clapping against his mouth, a motion that made him lurch in horror, and though the blood had been washed away he could taste it. He could taste the contamination, the death, and he could taste the bile clawing at his throat as he gasped and choked and sobbed.

"Levi," she said when he quieted down. He didn't look at her. He didn't dare. She grasped him by both shoulders, turning him around gently, and he squeezed his eyes shut when she wiped at his tears gingerly with the pad of her thumb. "I don't know what… what exactly it is that is troubling you. But I need you to know that you aren't alone. Okay?"

He couldn't speak. He couldn't even breathe properly, but he nodded in spite of himself. Because Levi had no idea what else he could do.

She hugged him then, and he was too stunned to fight it. So instead, he buried his face in her shoulders and let himself be held. Just once.

Later that night, when Levi was calm and all evidence of his breakdown was washed away, he sat on his bed with a book in his lap. The eight other orphans sat around him, listening intently as he read aloud the fairy tales Erwin had entrusted to him. They all looked at him with varying degrees of interest, and they listened without complaint. It was almost unreal. He'd never had such rapt attention put on him, not in such a positive way. And it made him feel a little anxious and exhilarated.

"The tin soldier stood there dressed in flames. He felt a terrible heat, but whether it came from the flames or from his love he didn't know. He'd lost his splendid colors, maybe from his hard journey, maybe from grief, nobody can say." Levi spoke as if in a daze, with his lips moving mechanically, and his eyes trailing across the page with a strange amount of ease. There were no words in this story that were particularly challenging, and so he felt very comfortable reading it aloud. He was being watched by nine pairs of eyes, including those of Miss Harmon who stood in the doorway. She was smiling, he saw, glancing out of the corner of his eye. He smiled back gratefully. "He looked at the little lady, and she looked at him, and he felt himself melting. But still he stood steadfast, with his musket held trim on his shoulder."

"No way," Trudy gasped, bouncing on the edge of Levi's bed. "No way, no way! I thought you said these were fairy tales!"

"They are." Levi pressed his thumb to the line he had left off on, hoping not to lose his place.

"But this is so sad!"

"Someone saves him," Hilde said nervously. "Right?"

"I can finish the story," Levi said. "There's only a paragraph left."

"But I don't wanna know if he dies!" Trudy whined, clapping her hands over her ears and shaking her head. It was very hard to believe that she was older than Levi sometimes, with the way she acted. "Why can't they all be happy?"

"I don't know, Trudy," Levi said earnestly. "I don't think it works like that."

"Of course it does," Trudy sniffed. She wasn't crying, but she looked a little disgruntled. "I hate this story. Tell a happy one."

"Let him finish!" Klaus gasped, elbowing Trudy in the ribs.

"Yeah," Levi teased, closing the book with his thumb stuck between pages, and bonking his foster sister lightly on the head. "Idiot, there's only a paragraph left."

"That hurt…" Trudy pouted, rubbing her head.

"I bet."

"Wimp," Klaus taunted.

Trudy shoved him so hard he fell off the bed and toppled onto the floor, laughing all the way. Levi smiled as the others began to laugh as well, and he flung his pillow at Klaus's face when he tried to get up. Klaus shrieked with dismay as the twins grabbed him by each arm, and two of the younger kids, Riley and Mara flung their arms around his neck, yanking at him. Klaus bellowed, half laughter and half pained, and he wriggled beneath their grasp.

"Get 'im!" Trudy cheered.

Lynette laughed beside Douglas on Erwin's bed, across from Levi's. She clapped her hands amusedly, while Douglas merely managed a meager smile. Perhaps he was too old for the play-wrestling to be amusing. Levi didn't know.

"Okay," Levi said. There was a knock at the door, but Levi ignored it as Miss Harmon disappeared into the foyer. About time, he thought. They were all in their pajamas, preparing to go to bed, and Erwin was more than a little late. "I'm going to finish this damn story if it kills me."

"Get these crazy little shits off me!" Klaus gasped, wincing at the grip of the younger children.

Levi sighed, and he tossed to book onto his bed, letting it fall open to the page he had marked. He stood up, but as he did so a scream ripped through the house. They all froze, the feeling of the scream hitting them hard as they all held their breaths and listened intently. Had that been real? That was the question floating through their minds as they tentatively looked toward the entryway.

"Miss Harmon…?" Lynette said weakly, pushing herself to her feet. Douglas stood up as well. He gestured for Lynette to stay where she was, and he slowly crept toward the entrance. He immediately stopped as another scream split through the house, followed by a stomach lurching thump. Douglas blinked, and took a step back.

Levi didn't understand what was happening until it was too late.

The room was suddenly swarmed with people. Some of them Levi recognized as they broke through windows, their faces half-shadowed, but most of them were strangers. Demons in the night coming to devour them all. Through the entrance of the room, three men came rushing in. Douglas had no time to react as he was tackled to the floor, a knife burying itself to the hilt in his heart.

The screams that ricocheted off the walls were immeasurable. Levi was in a panic, and he was completely frozen in shock and fear and confusion. This couldn't be happening. How could it? It wasn't possible! But there was blood congealing in the crevices of the floorboards, and all around him there were strange men who had knives, and Levi saw one go into Hilde's right eye, and he watched her scream in agony as the knife was yanked out, and then she was grabbed by the hair, her neck exposed and bent to meet the bite of the blade.

Blood burst from her neck into Levi's face. He was standing just beside her. Klaus was still on the ground, his own soft looking face half obscured by splattered blood smeared across it. His mouth was agape, but no sound came out. He looked too stunned. The two younger children, Riley and Mara went scrambling, but a man grabbed Mara and Levi found himself lurching to help but it was too late. He saw the knife protruding from her back as her screams died into strangled rasps, tears welling inside her eyes.

Riley was sobbing. "Get away!" he shrieked, shoving and kicking as he was pinned down. Levi jumped on the man pinning him, his skinny arms locking around the man's neck, but he was thrown off easily. Levi smacked his head against a wrought iron footboard, and he sat dizzily as Trudy grabbed him and yanked at him, screaming something inaudible into his ear.

And then Levi realized why these faces were so familiar.

Elroy Charnell stepped up behind Trudy, and he watched Levi with his eyes glinting as his blade sunk into Trudy's spine. Levi's muscles were locked. His breath was caught. No. No way. It couldn't be real. It was a nightmare, a dream. And yet, Trudy's wide-eyed gaze was suddenly becoming very dim, and she opened her mouth, her lips trembling.

She coughed, and blood sprayed across Levi's face like a sprinkle of red freckles licking at his cheeks.

This isn't... Levi grabbed Trudy's body as she slumped, and he found himself screaming too, calling out names in spite of himself. He dropped Trudy when he saw Klaus, who was running. He was weaving between men, his face streaked with blood and tears, and he met Levi's eye.

"Run!" he cried. There was only silence then, and Levi stood shakily with Elroy Charnell standing before him, Trudy's corpse bleeding at his feet. There were so many of them, and Levi didn't recognize them all, but… there was Nikel Maine, and his friends who had beaten Levi up, and there were others. Others who Levi had seen with Erwin.

Erwin, Levi thought, his eyes widening. He felt sick with the revelation. No way, he can't be a part of this, he's—

"You remember me, don't you?" Elroy asked. Levi lurched forward as Klaus was caught, and Levi's screeching went unnoticed as his foster brother's throat was opened ear to ear. Blood spilt across the floorboards, and there was nothing then. Levi felt cold. He could hear his own heart as it crashed against his ribs, rising up into his throat and crushing his larynx. He couldn't speak or scream anymore. He was shoved backwards into the wrought iron frame of the bed, and he nearly fell onto Trudy's corpse.

"I asked you and Erwin to join us once," Elroy said, holding up his bloody knife. "It's really a shame you didn't join too. None of this would have happened if you had."

Levi was too stunned to shake. He was too shocked the breathe. He stared up at Elroy, and then he looked at the knife.

"But honestly," Elroy continued, giving a haughty smile. "You have Erwin to thank for all this!" He danced around the room with the air of a performer, his eyes still glinting with an evil mischief.

It was all the confirmation Levi needed. He had no senses from that point. Only a clear view of what the facts before him were. These men were evil, and they had destroyed everything Levi had ever loved.

And Erwin was one of these men.

Erwin did this, Levi thought madly, his fists shaking in rage. He did this, he's the reason they're all— He couldn't bring himself to think it. He knew they were all gone, every one of them, because he could see it, feel it, taste it sloshing in his mouth. Death was seeping through the windows and leaking on the floor.

Levi stood up straight. His eyes were wide.

The world seemed so simple all of a sudden.

When Elroy reached for Levi, it was all Levi truly needed. He twisted his arm so fast that the bone snapped beneath Levi's touch, and the man buckled as the knife was yanked from his loosened fingers. Levi stood as tall as he could, and he flicked his wrist as he clutched the blade, his entire body reacting as he kicked Elroy in the groin, and the slashed him across the throat. Blood splashed downward, hitting Levi's face in a hot stream. But he didn't care. He kicked the man aside, clenching the knife tightly as he looked around.

There were so many of them, but it was suddenly all a blur. He was faster then them, and smaller. And he was so much more willing to kill than they were, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. No. Levi would slaughter them. He took each one and put them to the knife like the swine they were. He moved like death sweeping across the room, collecting his reaping of bloodied throats and fading eyes, and he kicked their bodies into a pile in the center of the room.

When he was done he was soaked from head to toe, his eyes and teeth the only indication that he wasn't some blood-caked monster torn from the depths of hell.

Levi slid down the wall in the corner of the room, clutching his knife and heaving deep breaths. His lungs felt as though someone or something was crushing them with hot iron, and he couldn't think clearly. There was buzzing. There was laughter. There was a story of a melting tin soldier searing inside him, and he felt he was the same, bubbling over and bursting as he melted away into oblivion.

There was nothing left of him but hollow eyes and a hollow heart.

Levi never saw Erwin after that. He had never appeared back at the orphanage, and the MPs had stuck Levi with Greta Schatz by default. Schatz had been kind, there was no mistaking it, but Levi had been a terror to live with and he'd hated her for being there. Eventually he learned to live with it, but by then he had moved out and begun to form his own criminal reputation. In the end he wasn't sure if he was any better than Elroy Charnell had been.

Levi awoke with that thought haunting him. He was in a cot, cold sweat causing sheets to stick uncomfortably to his skin. His head was pounding so terribly that he gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. His limbs felt awkward, cumbersome, and heavy. He was aching all around, his breath short and his heart pounding. He'd lost sense of where he was. His thoughts were still muddled up in a bloody little corner, staring vacantly ahead until MPs came to ask him a lot of really dumb fucking questions.

He took a deep breath. Had it all been a nightmare? Would he awake at home, on the couch, with Mikasa awake and eager to please him. The thought of Mikasa stung his heart, and he sunk into the cot he was laying in, missing the girl more than he'd ever missed her before. She had always been the perfect distraction when he had a nightmare. She was always a rock for him to latch onto, to make sure he stayed tethered to the world around them. But he had no Mikasa now… right?

The memories of joining the Survey Corps flooded his head in a very sudden, very sharp burst of light. His eyes snapped open, and he choked on the bitter, chilly memory of rain slipping down his cheeks, of a blade against Erwin's throat, of the titan Levi had killed, of the fall that had disoriented him to the point where he could not move.

"Oh, are you awake?"

Levi's blood ran icy in his veins, and his breath hitched painfully inside his throat. He stared up at the ceiling of whatever clinic he was in, focusing solely on the off-white hue and the strange spackled texture. He didn't want to look at Erwin. He didn't want to see the man's smug fucking face, lest Levi beat it in with his bare fists. It was not that Levi was entirely angry— on the contrary, he was exhausted and mostly immobile— but Erwin triggered something inside of him that made him want to destroy everything in order to just end his pitiful excuse for an existence.

"I have a few questions to ask you," Erwin said calmly, as if nothing had happened, as if they were merely acquaintances. "If you don't mind sitting up for me?"

Levi had to take a deep, shuddering breath before he forced himself onto his elbows. It was as far as he could go without his ribs screaming in protest.

"What's your name?" Erwin asked. Levi looked at him sharply, and he saw that Erwin wasn't even looking at him. He was reading a book in his lap, writing on a clipboard as he spoke. The scritch-scratch of the pen was scathing to Levi's ears, which felt clogged with cotton.

"You're shitting me," Levi stated, his voice a startlingly sharp croak.

"Just answer." Erwin did not look up. Instead he continued to write, his eyes moving from his book to the clipboard.

Levi pushed himself upright despite the body wracking pain, and he stared at Erwin with a stare so hard and piercing that it caused the man to pause. He looked up, his bold blue eyes meeting Levi's.

"Levi fucking Ackerman," Levi said.

"I'll assume you did not, in fact, legally change your middle name to 'fucking'," Erwin said placidly, turning his attention back to his clipboard. "Though, knowing you…"

"Shut up." Levi's fists clenched the sheets around him. "What the hell kind of question was that?"

"Just protocol," Erwin said, shrugging. "You've been out for longer than twelve hours, so I'm only checking your cognitive receptors. Basic information."

Levi said nothing. It hadn't even occurred to him that Erwin was just checking if he was okay. It was hard to stomach, and Levi wanted to leave the room so badly that he found himself checking his surroundings for the nearest exits.

"The door is behind me," Erwin said, his ability to read Levi's thoughts uncanny. "There's a window beside the bed, but there's a bit of a drop. Of course, you'd have to get through me to leave."

"I can take you," Levi said in a low, dark voice.

Erwin looked up, and he actually smiled. "Oh," he said, "I don't doubt it. However, I'm your superior, and assaulting me would look even worse for you. You barely scraped freedom with your last stunt, Levi, and I wouldn't suggest pushing it again."

That pushed Levi right over the edge.

"I want to kill you," Levi said. He let his tone slip in a slow, bored cadence. "I hate you so much, and I want you to choke on your filthy blood when I slit your throat."

Erwin sighed. He closed his book, and set it and the clipboard on the ground. He looked very composed for someone whose life was in grave danger. Who the hell are you? Levi wondered. Maybe if Levi ripped him open and tore out his entrails he would find out.

"That's a little barbaric, Levi," Erwin said. "And I would honestly prefer it if I lived, thanks."

"What the hell are you playing at?" Levi snapped, his ribs aching as he lurched forward. Erwin watched him so calmly that Levi looked around for something to hurl at his head. "I want to kill you! I tried to kill you! Am I in prison? Because I should be in fucking prison."

"Calm down," Erwin said, holding up his hand. "Yes, you were a little jittery when we were on the mission. It's not unusual to be scared on your first expedition."

"I wasn't scared, damn it—"

"Yes," Erwin said, his voice sharp, brisk, and commanding. "You were. You were very scared, and you ran away. But obviously in the end you proved yourself quite adept. After all, you took down a titan while concussed."

"I fell off a roof onto my ass."

"I thought the storm would come later," Erwin admitted. "My mistake for not pulling back sooner."

"I still would have tried to kill you," Levi said steadily. "I'm going to keep trying. I don't care. So lock me up now, Erwin, or I swear you'll regret it."

Erwin studied Levi's face as if he was a puzzle he couldn't quite crack. There was a great amount of curiosity there, but also a little bit of wonder. "I know already that you blame me," Erwin said slowly. "I know you jumped to conclusions when I didn't come home that night."

"Shut up." Levi stared ahead of him and he scratched at his knuckles subconsciously. "Don't you dare, you bastard."

"They wouldn't let me see you," Erwin said. Levi couldn't look at him, so instead he looked around for anything he could use as a weapon. But there was nothing around him but a nightstand with Sir Gwaine and the Green Knight on it. And that was a little too precious to soil with Erwin's blood. "I asked, you know. Every day, I kept asking if I could talk to you, but they just said that you weren't stable enough. I didn't realize what that meant until an MP told me that you murdered thirteen people."

"They deserved it," Levi said immediately. It was what he'd always justified to himself when he thought about the people he'd killed.

"Yeah," Erwin said. "Maybe. In all honesty, I was scared to face you after that."

"Because you knew I'd tear that smug look off your face?" Levi asked, looking at him.

"No," Erwin said. He paused, and he shrugged. "Actually, maybe. It was a long time ago, I'm not entirely sure how exactly I felt. But I do know that it was my fault for being part of that awful gang, and I do take full responsibility for what happened."

A confession, Levi thought numbly. He hadn't expected this. "Why?" Levi asked, staring at Erwin's face with a look of pure disdain. "Why kill them all?"

Erwin shook his head. "I've wondered that too," he admitted. Levi stared at him, his jaw clenching in frustration. "I think it was to teach me a lesson. It was a message meant to tell me that bad things happen when you don't pay your debts."

"What debt?" Levi rubbed his head, the feeling of his bandage making him uncomfortable.

Erwin glanced at him, and he leaned back in his seat. His neatly parted hair was falling into his forehead in limp blond clumps. How long has he been sitting here, anyway? Levi honestly didn't want to know.

"I owed the gang a very large debt," Erwin said slowly. "I had them procure something for me I wouldn't have otherwise been able to get my hands on. When it was time for me to repay then, I couldn't give them what they asked for."

"What the hell did you ask for?" Levi asked, slumping a little. His bloodlust was now more like a senseless hum in the back of his head. "Drugs?"

"Yes, actually," Erwin said. "A special drug. That cured a very persistent illness."

Levi's felt stones collapse into his stomach as the weight of his words hit him. Oh, Levi thought, feeling sick. Oh. That's how he did it. Levi had always wondered, but it had never been a thing that had truly pestered him. Not until now. Suddenly it made sense. It was twisted, and it was cruel, but it made sense.

"So…" Levi's mouth felt dry as he spoke. "What… did they want you to give them?"

Erwin sat quietly. He folded his hands in his lap, and he raised his chin higher as he tilted his head ever so slightly. There was a strange resignation to the way he leaned back, his shoulders slumping.

"You," Erwin said.

It didn't register. "Excuse me?"

The silence stretched out for a few moments, and in those few moments it slapped Levi across the face. His eyes widened, and he sat up straighter, his mouth dropping open.

"They thought they could traffic you," Erwin said quietly. It sounded as though he was admitting his deepest darkest secret, and Levi couldn't stand it. He couldn't deal. "Don't ask me what they meant to do with you when they got you. I didn't ask. I told them that they couldn't have you, or any child from the orphanage, and then… well, I left a few days later. They took advantage of that."

"Shit," Levi breathed. He sunk into his bed, and he stared ahead of him vacantly. "Oh." Oh, he thought, Mikasa, we have so much more in common than I ever imagined.

"I'm not sure if it changes how you feel," Erwin said. "If you still want to kill me, tell me now. I'll give you a knife. You can slit my throat, if that's truly what you want." Levi stared at him as he pulled out a small, skinny knife from inside his boot, and held it out to Levi. It was the most stunning sight, and the most horrific. "But you should know, if you kill me there will be consequences. You will be imprisoned, and likely executed. And you will die without ever seeing your daughter again."

That caught Levi's attention. He felt the word daughter as it sent a jolt through him, like a bullet through the heart. Hange always referred to Mikasa as Levi's daughter, but it was always different with her because it was Hange. She got carried away easily. But with Erwin it was like an undisputed fact being spoken. Mikasa was Levi's daughter.

"How the hell," Levi hissed, "do you know about her?"

Erwin blinked. "Is it a touchy subject?" he asked. "I'm sorry. But it's true. You won't see her. You'll die, and she'll be left alone in this world."

Again, Levi thought. He closed his eyes. Now that he was sitting and digesting all the information being fed to him, he knew there was not a chance in the world he'd attempt to kill Erwin again. And though Levi held an undeniable amount of distaste for Erwin Smith, he couldn't help but be awed at his loyalty. If he's telling the truth.

But it was already settled in Levi's mind. His heart was pounding inside his head as he raised his eyes to Erwin's. He took the knife from his palm, and rolled the grip of it between his fingers. "You know," Levi said, his voice carrying an almost lofty quality. "I kept the knife I used to kill those bastards."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Levi peered at the skinny knife, and he gritted his teeth. He twisted his body, a burst of pain crippling him as he stabbed the knife into the bedside table, just beside the faded book the Mikasa had gifted to him. "I gave it to my… daughter." He tested out the word, and spat it out with a strange hesitance. He wasn't sure if he liked it.

"That's a strange gift to give a young girl," Erwin said. He looked amused. "I'm sure a toy sword would have suited her fine."

"How the hell would she defend herself with a toy sword?" Levi asked, wrinkling his nose. "That's just stupid."

"Because the knife you used to murder thirteen people is a more practical gift for a child."

"Do you have any children?" Levi snapped. Erwin looked a little surprised, but said nothing. "Nope, didn't think so. Don't lecture me about things you don't know."

"Fine." Erwin leaned forward, and there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Does this mean you'll follow me?"

"If I was going to kill you," Levi said, "I would have done it by now."

Erwin smiled wider. It was strange. It was so utterly surreal to… to no longer have a burning sense of hatred inside him at the mere memory of this man. Now all that was left in that space inside him was an empty sort of glaze. A feeling of loss and a foundation for… for forgiveness, or something akin to that. Levi would not kill Erwin, no. But Erwin needed to earn Levi's trust again. That was certain.

An envelope slipped into his lap.

He stared at it, and he saw Mikasa's small, neat handwriting immediately. He shot Erwin a look. "You stole my mail?"

"I was curious," Erwin admitted. "I saw the name Ackerman. Was that her mother's name?"

"She's not my real daughter, Erwin," Levi sighed. "I took her in."

"Ah." Erwin tilted his head. "I was curious about that too. I never imagined you might have a child."

"I didn't plan to adopt," Levi said stiffly. "It just… happened. I don't know."

"You just happened upon an orphaned girl?"

"Something like that." Levi tentatively opened the envelope.

"How sweet of you," Erwin said. "I'm glad to hear you found another family, Levi."

Levi's fingers froze as he withdrew the letter. He stared at it for a long time, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Family," he said, tasting the acidity of the word as it burnt the inside of his mouth, hissing through his teeth.

"Yes," Erwin said. He watched Levi, and he tilted his head, his face looking especially severe as he raised his chin. "I know it might be hard for you to accept, since you so clearly hate me. But I lost my family that night too."

Levi swallowed his anger. No, snapping would not help him. Family, Levi thought bitterly. Mine and yours. But that changes nothing. They're all still dead.

"I'm not going to coddle you, Erwin," Levi said, tearing his letter from its envelope. "But I won't condemn you either."

"Eloquent," Erwin noted, smiling wanely.

"Shut up." Levi unfolded the paper, flattening it out against his knee. Per usual it was very short. He found himself reading the words without truly digesting them. They fluttered vaguely inside his mind before truly taking purchase. And when they did, his entire body coiled with tension. He gripped the corners of the letter, the paper crunching a little under the pressure.

"What is it?" Erwin asked. He had the balls to sound worried.

Levi shook his head. He inhaled sharply through his nose, and forced himself to loosen his muscles, his shoulders slumping. He did not want to talk to Erwin right now. He would prefer it if the man simply left. But Levi understood that things needed to change. He couldn't be a little shit about Erwin's presence if he planned on sticking with the Survey Corps.

He stared into his lap as he offered the letter out to Erwin. He said nothing when Erwin took it, and instead closed his eyes and felt Mikasa's words settling like rocks inside his stomach.

Erwin scanned the letter, and there was a blanket of silence between them as they both seemed to accept the gravity of their situation.

"I'm sorry," Erwin told him, resting the letter beside Levi's leg. He glanced at it, and the words shone, as if the ink was glistening on the page.

Levi, it said. It's been a while, hasn't it? I know you're very busy, but I thought it best to tell you now. By the time you read this letter, I will be part of the 104th Trainee Corps. Though your approval would be appreciated, I understand it's not all that likely. Also, I don't need it. Forgive me if you can.

Mikasa

He had never imagined that this might happen. It had never crossed his mind that Mikasa might follow him into the military. Why would she be so foolish to seek out her own death? How could she be so reckless as to disregard her own life, just to follow him into hell?

They were so alike, and Levi despised it.

"Don't be," Levi said quietly. He took the letter in his hands, and found that they were shaking. "She's a fool."

"We're all fools, then," Erwin observed.

Levi had take a moment to compose himself. He was consumed by guilt, because if he had just stayed with Mikasa, then she would never have even dreamed of joining the military…

"Yeah," Levi said. He folded up the paper, and shoved it back into its envelope. He felt sickened, and suddenly very empty. His head was buzzing with pain. There was a small sting of resentment toward Mikasa, but it faded fast. Yes, Mikasa, he thought, setting the envelope on top of his book. How could I ever forgive you for following me so blindly?

"Is she strong?" Erwin asked. He sounded very distant. Levi wasn't sure if he felt much animosity at all toward him at the moment. He was focused on the thought of Mikasa facing mortal peril regularly.

"Yeah," Levi said. "Pretty strong, I guess."

"And she'll join the Survey Corps, I imagine?"

"Like she'd fucking join the Military Police Brigade," Levi said stiffly. "She hates them just as much as we do."

"I won't sugarcoat it," Erwin said. He looked very grave. "There is a very good chance you will see her die. If you survive long enough to see her don the wings of freedom."

"Oh," Levi said harshly, "don't worry. I'll be alive."

Erwin smiled, and it was small and sad. "I hope so," he said earnestly.

Levi glanced at him. Before he could tell Erwin that he still really kind of hated him, the door burst open behind him. Hange swooped into the room, looking like a madwoman as she grinned broadly, hugging a stack of paper cups in her arm as she held up a bottle of alcohol.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!" Hange crooned. Her eyes fell on Erwin, and her enthusiasm only seemed to drop slightly. "Oh! I'm interrupting."

"Nope," Levi said, sitting up straighter. For once, her energy was welcome. As was her alcohol. "You couldn't have better timing. You did say you wanted to see me drunk, right?"

Hange's eyes widened, and she beamed at him. "Yes!" she cried, hopping onto the edge of his bed. Erwin looked reserved, and uncertain.

"Don't drink too much, Levi," Erwin warned.

"I can hold my liquor, Erwin," Levi retorted. He felt like a child all over again.

He learned, in the end, that he could not hold his liquor as well as he thought he could.

---

This chapter was like, my biggest gamble, but I really wanted to write it. I mean I still have the freedom to make up Levi's backstory until his manga comes out, so like fuck I'm not gonna try.

i didn't feel so bad making up all these ocs bc i knew i was going to kill all of them laughs

heY ANGIE CONGRATS YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE LONGEST CHAPTER (also happy birthday. is it still your birthday?)