I sit down on the edge of my bed. I don't really know why I've done it… I guess it's because once I saw it, the doubt appeared in my mind.

It's probably a "not", but… what if it's "yes"? What would I do? How would my life change? And most important… how would my relationship with Beck be?

I lean my elbows on my knees and the palms of my hands under my forehead, wishing both things at the same time.

And suddenly, when the alarm I set on my phone rings, I jump a bit and take all the air my lungs can contain.

I get up from my bed and go straight to the bathroom, shuffling. I sink my eyes on my face before doing anything and then I take the pregnancy test with my both shaking hands.

Oh my God. Oh my holly SHIT! No, no, no, NO! Why?! Why does this freaking pink sign have to be so… pink?! Oh my God… how will I tell my mum? How will people look at me? How will I tell Beck?! And me? I'm not ready to be a mum, I don't even know how to take care of a fish! Oh, my God, this is not happening. This can't be true. This has to be a joke. Where is the hidden camera?

I throw the test in the sink and hide my face between my hands. I feel… bad. Disappointed, surprised, fucked up, and sorry for my language, but this is what I feel.

I sit down, next to the toilet, breathing heavily, wishing I could wake up from this nightmare any moment. But no… I won't wake up. I can't run away, cause this stupid bump will be with me, even thought I hate it more than anything.

I sigh loudly when I feel a tear run down my cheek. Everything has sense now. I wasn't ill; I wasn't tired; I wasn't sensitive… I was and I am pregnant.

Just in the moment I can't hold tears back anymore and I let them fall, I hear my mum come upstairs. I get up quickly and try to fix everything. I run my hands along my cheeks to clean them up and then I take the test, just in the moment she opens the door.

"Hey, I just wanted to check that you were ok… are you?" I look into her eyes while hiding the test behind my back. She knows something's not right.

"Sure… I'm fine, mum, I don't know why would you think I'm not", I say, trying to act like "mean Jade".

She looks at me constantly and frowns when, all of a sudden, she realizes I'm hiding something.

"What do you have there?" she asks with an alarmed and concerned tone. I'm pretty sure she's thinking I have a knife or something to cut me. What a fool. I would never do that. I like my life even though it sucks right now.

Another wave of fear and sadness hit me when my brain starts thinking of Beck being so far from me and his… oh my God.

"Jade!" My mum calls me, taking me out of my self-absorption. I stare at her. I get blank. I don't know what to do right now.

"What are you hiding?" she extends her hand and waits for me to hand her the "object". She's going to kill me, that's for sure.

I look away while taking my hand from behind my back and show it to her.

Her eyes widen as much as possible, almost getting out of their sockets when she realizes what it is and what the sign means.

"You're pregnant?!" Her mouth drops a bit and I can't help but feel really bad. Anxious, embarrassed, ashamed, worried. What will I do?

I turn my eyes back to my feet, trying to hide my face in my hair. It's impossible. This awful feeling won't disappear.

She leaves the test on the sink and stares at me with a faction I cannot understand at all.

I feel my eyes water again. Oh no, I won't be able to stand another wave of tears. And much less while I'm standing right in front of her.

"Don't worry, honey, we will get over this, you'll see", she says opening her arms to embrace me. I refuse a bit at the beginning, but when she pushes me into her hug and I sink my face on her chest, I let it go.

She strokes my hair and pushes me tighter to her body, while I just rest my forehead on her shoulder and sob, not even hugging her back.

I am pregnant. Oh God, Beck's gonna leave me. He won't want to know anything about me or… or his… baby.

"We will talk about this later, ok? Now go take a bath and get calmed, please", she suddenly says, pushing me away from her and making me stand up.

I see the test as I get into the bathroom again, and I sigh loudly.

How is Beck now? He has no idea of any of this. I'm sure he's hanging out with his new friends, not knowing that he might be a dad.

I open the tap with hot water and let the bath fill in with it. I sigh when I undressed myself and I can't help but look at my stomach.

I don't even know what I will do. There are many options… so I can think of them while I try to make things clear. Everything is so dark now.

I sit down in a chair that is in front of my mum's in the kitchen. I'm not really hungry. That knot I thought I had has turned into a… baby, and that is the creepiest thing in the world.

"Jade, you have to eat something. Please", she almost begs me, but I can't take my eyes off the salad and think of Beck. I'm scared. What if he leaves me? No… I have to be strong. I need to be strong.

"We haven't talked about it, Jade…" she starts saying, as she takes a piece of lettuce to her mouth. I stare at her while nausea hits my body. "Have you thought of what you want to do?"

"No… not really. I think I should decide this with Beck, but here's not here!" I scream, hitting the table as I stand up abruptly. This makes me feel so… frustrated. Yes, Jade West is frustrated. How funny.

"Jade, calm down. I know it, Beck should be here, and he should say his opinion before you make a choice, but… what is you choice?"

I look away while sitting down again. I suddenly find myself grabbing my stomach. I take my hands away and lean them over the table. No… I don't want to be a mum. I'm seventeen, for God's sake, I'm ready yet.

My eyes get fixed in the ring Beck gave me. What would he want to do? He is always talking about our future children… but that's it… future. Not now. None of us is ready yet.

I take my phone and call Beck. I wait next to the window, in a full dark. The only thing that illuminates a bit is the moonlight. I look at the street. I wish Beck was there, waving me and waiting next to his truck… waiting for me.

"Hello?" His voice sounds so confident and comfortable. "Hey, is there anyone there?"

I shake my head and sigh deeply.

"Beck, it's Jade", I finally get to say. Now that I listen to him, I don't really know if I will be able to destroy all his future. He doesn't have to be stuck with me… he doesn't have to raise a child that has a fifty percent chance not to be born.

"Hi babe, I was about to call you", I roll my eyes. That is something he always says. As if I ever believe him. "What's up?"

"We need to talk. I…" I am ready to tell him, to face the situation to then find myself alone. But just when I'm about to tell everything to him, I hear some friends of him talking in the background.

"Wait a minute, Jade", Ugh, Beck! He's so dumb… how can he leave in such a difficult moment? I listen to them laughing and planning on meeting tomorrow at some stupid place… I hear Beck's laughter. He doesn't usually laugh like that… only when he's really having fun.

"I'm back, sorry, baby, the guys wanted to know where we should meet tomorrow morning", I feel a tear run through my cheek and I have to bite slightly me finger not to be sob and let him know I'm crying. "What were you saying?"

I wait a bit… it's not right what I'm going to do. It's not right that I want him to be with me… it's too selfish. It's not right…

"Nothing… I just wanted to say that I miss you", I lie… well, I do miss him, but that was not my initial message. I just thought of it in a better way. He doesn't have to know.

"Ok, Jade, I really need to go. I'll call you later, babe. Love you", he says. And when he hangs up, I whisper…

"I love you too".

So... here's Chapter 10. I don't know what you will think of this, because well, it's a controversial topic, but I do hope you like it. Besides, leave me your thoughts and comments and if you find any mistakes or something you don't like, just let me know. Don't forget to leave your reviews guys :D