On Utapau, Obi Wan and Ventress landed their ships socialistically and jumped out. Obi Wan raised his communist red binoculars towards his eyes.
"I can't see him," said Obi Wan in the voice of the oppressed proletariat.
"Don't worry," said Ventress in the voice of Fidel Castro, "I'm sure he won't be hard to find."
They walked with the steps of Stalin up to the nearest building and Obi Wan frowned in disgust at the culturally appropriated red clothing of the thing that approached them.
"Greetings, young Jedi. What brings you to our remote sanctuary?" Said the thing wearing the culturally appropriated clothes.
"You call this a FUCKING SANCTUARY? THERE'S NOTHING HERE BUT ROCKS AND SHIT." said Obi Wan diplomatically.
"WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR SKIN MADE OF FUCKING CARPET?" questioned Ventress in the voice of a true comrade.
"There is no war here unless you've brought it with you." Said Tion Medon false consciously.
Obi Wan was about to reply when, suddenly, he and Ventress spotted a GIANT FUCKING FEATHERY LIZARD THING which was cruelly being held captive by the carpet-skinned thing and its people.
"That GIANT FUCKING LIZARD IS BEING OPPRESSED BY CAPITALISM!" declared Obi Wan revolutionarily as Ventress used the force to release it from its shackles. They crumbled easily, presumably because they were mass produced in a sweatshop and thus were the result of shoddy capitalist craftsmanship. The GIANT FUCKING LIZARD made a weird lizard sound in appreciation of its liberation and immediately became a comrade of the FUCKING REVOLUTION. The GIANT FUCKING LIZARD bent down and allowed Ventress and Obi Wan to climb up onto it's back.
Once securely seated, Obi Wan held up his red binoculars again and continued his search for the capitalist shill General Grievous...
Meanwhile …
I knew that the Jedi were up to something, so I decided to eavesdrop on them. Qui Gon's force ghost materialised beside me, looking more like Karl Marx everyday.
"There is a disturbance in our Communist utopian scheme," he warned. "Keep a close eye on the Jedi, comrade," he vocalised shortly before he socialistically vanished.
I walked with the soft footsteps of Chairman Mao and stood silently outside the door of the Jedi Council. Pressing my working class ears against the wood, I strained to hear the corporate voices of those FUCKING SHILL OPPRESSORS
"What about the droid attack on the Wookies?" asked that Jedi with the stupidly big fucking forehead.
"The Wookies are of no interest to us. There can be no financial gain made from protecting them," said that CAPITALIST WHORE MACE WINDU. His voice was smarmy and dripping with greed, presumably because he was simultaneously thinking about FORNICATING WITH YODA ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN OF MONEY THAT HE HAD CORRUPTLY LAUNDERED AND SHELTERED IN A BANK ACCOUNT IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LOVING FUCK? THE JEDI ARE LEAVING THE WOOKIES TO DIE? THAT'S FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS!" I said extremely quietly so that the Jedi wouldn't know that I was listening to them.
A burning revolutionary rage kindled in my working class heart and I knew what I had to do. I would go to Kashyyyk to FUCKING LIBERATE the Wookies and purge the droids of the FALSE CONSCIOUSNESS that had been programmed into them by the fascist Republic. It was my sworn duty as an instrument of the PEOPLE'S REBELLION.