Chapter 10: Chapter 10
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Hazards
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This is the second month straight I'm on shift at Tokyo General
At this stage, my blood is eighty percent coffee
00:07
I thought you guys were only doing electives?
00:08
We are
They said they were doing it for our own good
00:10
They hate you
00:12
Considering most of my shift involves paperwork, I'm inclined to agree
00:13
So same as being a shinigami
00:15
Are you telling me the only constant between life and death is paperwork?
00:16
I won't have to.
You're a smart cookie, Ichi-chan
00:17
You can't hear me
but I just made a noise very close to a wounded animal
00:18
So sexy
00:19
Rukia could practically hear his snort before he replied a minute later:
How are things in Soul Society?
00:20
Decidedly less sexy
00:21
You're killing me
00:22
It was her turn to snort before she shifted on her feet, absentmindedly stirring her tea.
It's still in one piece if that's what you mean
00:24
No shit
00:25
Nii-sama decided my presence was encouraging the elders
00:28
Her brother hadn't said it in so many words, but he did want to spare her the drama of any of the elders giving her speeches about, "her duty and responsibility as an heir of the Kuchiki Clan".
I told you so
00:31
Ignoring him, she continued:
Which is why I've been in Karakura for the past few days
00:32
What the fuck
00:33
Her screen lit up with his number less than a second later, and laughing she answered, "What's up Doc?"
"You're at the house, and you didn't tell me sooner?" She almost laughed at how conflicted he sounded – put out, relieved and annoyed at once; if that wasn't the perfect combination of their feelings towards each other on a daily basis.
"I wasn't at the house, I was at Karakura, at Urahara's," she elaborated.
Though, she did end up spending most of the day there – keeping the twins company as they studied. Being a senior in high school was definitely not something Rukia was interested in, at least with how they told it. The coursework alone bored her, add in the apparent high school drama Karin and Yuzu were going through, and Rukia could only sympathetically pat their heads and assure them that people only got more annoying as they got older.
"The veil's always been thinner there; Urahara figures that's the best way to monitor my condition in the gigai anyway."
He was silent, contemplating a moment before he guessed, "So you're staying in Karakura until further notice."
"Something like that," she allowed smile at her lips. She wasn't technically lying if he decided for himself. "Nii-sama commissioned an adjustment for my gigai, it's just a matter of testing it," Urahara assured her it would work; it did a sufficient job of taking care of Isshin when his days in the gigai stretched longer and longer in the World of the Living before his powers were stripped.
"You didn't tell me sooner," he accused.
"I wanted to surprise you," she teased. "The girls say 'hi' by the way. And also, Yuzu's very upset that you punched Ishida."
He groaned, "Still? That was like a month ago already!"
"She doesn't look it, but she holds a grudge pretty well; seems Yuzu's a lot darker and twister than she appears."
"Don't say that about my baby sister, she's precious and too good for this world," he added, "especially Ishida."
Rukia rolled her eyes. "Stop saying it like she's an actual baby. She's turning eighteen this year, she's basically an adult."
"When you're eighteen, you're still dumb."
"Yeah, you were living proof of that," she allowed, and she couldn't help the grin that formed at the corner of her lips at his annoyed silence – he was probably scowling too, the baby. "But you also saved the world at seventeen, so, I mean…"
"Different things, Rukia."
"You can save the world at seventeen, but she can't have a boyfriend at eighteen?"
"He's my age!"
"Yes, four years is horrifying," she lamented with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "Imagine what people would say if we were dating."
"Which they do," he couldn't help but mutter.
"Exactly – how do you think people would feel if they knew I was at least a hundred years older than you?"
"That's different," Ichigo was quick to reply.
"And let's not forget," Rukia immediately reminded, "I, a hundred-year-old death god, slept in the closet of a fifteen-year-old boy."
"So, what you're saying is," he paused dramatically, "you're a pervert."
"Excuse me; I wasn't the one who would accidentally walk into the bathroom when I was still in the shower." Rukia was almost a hundred percent sure that it was an accident, especially the first few times. He blushed and stammered and then refused to look at her for at least an hour after. The other times, Rangiku recalled with a smirk, were not so innocent.
But that didn't matter, it wasn't like he ever did anything about it, she dismissed. He just became more flippant when it happened – and he didn't need an hour to stop blushing and avoiding her either. But Rukia assumed it was just because he had grown used to seeing whatever it was he saw, she thought, ignoring Rangiku's suggestive eyebrow wiggles when they talked about it.
"It's not like I could see anything – you steam up the whole fucking bathroom," Ichigo defended.
"You tried to look?"
He was silent, before finally, "Next question."
Rukia snorted. Wow. "You're not even going to – whatever, you're so hypocritical." When he only grumbled in reply, she repeated the sentiment, "It's not like he and Yuzu are even doing anything other than talking. I've been a part of the girl talk and they haven't so much as held hands."
Rangiku would have been wailing and crying, and the whole thing would have been a damn mess. Rangiku was already convinced Kurosaki men were late bloomers thanks to Ichigo's non-response to any of her suggestions - though, the busty lieutenant was convinced Rukia just sucked at following instructions - and Rukia was convinced Rangiku would be done with the whole family once she found out that Yuzu was all swoony and sighing over conversation.
"Then how can they be dating?"
"It's a chaste courtship," Rukia answered primly. "Nii-sama approves."
Ichigo made a vague choking noise. "You gossip with Byakuya?"
She dismissed this too because her dignified brother would never. "He overheard your whining."
"I don't whine."
"'My sister likes a boy'," she mocked in her purposely-awful, whiny-Ichigo voice.
"Ishida is a grown man."
"I'm glad you think so well of him."
He said something intelligible under his breath (probably an insult directed at her, but what did she care, Rukia thought with a snicker), and in the interim, she asked, "How are things going with the two of you anyway?"
"Fine," Ichigo grumbled. "He's still at the apartment, he's basically moved into the dining room we never use. He has all his designs up on the wall, and he got a sewing machine. I think he even got a special mention or something at the faculty, and he hasn't even been there a full semester."
Humming thoughtfully as she leaned against the counter, raising her brow at her companion across from her, trying to look valiantly like he wasn't at all interested in his housemate's point of view. "Sounds like things are peachy."
"You did tell me to be nice."
She smirked. "And you also want to keep an eye on him in case Yuzu decides to drop by Tokyo with the intention of not visiting her darling brother?"
"Are you trying to drive me into an early grave?"
"What for? I'm going to be stuck with you either way."
"You're a peach," he retorted.
"Of course, Strawberry-chan," she said blowing a kiss into the phone, getting him to grumble again, though there was an undercurrent of a laugh.
"I need to get back to work; I still have another hour before I'm done here. You're lucky they gave us hospital shifts to distract me from coming into Soul Society to get you."
Like being swamped with work ever stopped him from charging into Soul Society, she rolled her eyes again good-naturedly. If Ishida hadn't talked him down enough times, they would probably be having an entirely different conversation right now. "You still would've come."
"Was planning it for tomorrow," he admitted, "but if you're in Karakura, I doubt they'd leave the Court of Pansies to propose to you."
With a mixture of offended and pretentious, she let him know, "I'm worth the journey."
"Yeah, yeah – I'll send you a message when I get home."
"Un," she hummed. "Be safe."
"Yeah, yeah…I'll come see you when I can."
There was a distinct pause before the line dropped, and Rukia couldn't help but think they were supposed to fill it with something before she shook her head and slid her phone into her pocket. Reaching for her cup of tea, she pressed the rim to her lips and simply inhaled the aroma before taking a small sip.
"Kuchiki-san, is there anything I should expect?"
"I don't think you need to worry about getting kicked out, then again – it has been a month, Uryuu," she said with a smile.
"No," he corrected, "I meant when Kurosaki comes home. Am I going to be woken at two in the morning by yelling when he finds out you're here?"
With a snicker, Rukia patted him on the arm with her free hand as she walked passed him, cradling the mug in her hand. "Don't worry about it; I'm pretty sure he'll crash before he realizes I'm back. Goodnight."
Ya'll, I'm almost offended.
But also not, because with the way people write the twins, I think a lot of people (as evidenced by the reviews of the previous chapter) think they're like twelve or something. Also, though I'm taking serious liberties with timeline, Ichigo's in Third Year University (making him 21) so the twins are most definitely not in middle school. I actually did this intentionally so that enough "time" would have passed that they wouldn't still be dealing with fallout from canon.
First and last reminder (and I did double check to make sure I wasn't going senile), Karin and Yuzu are only 4 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ICHIGO, please stop acting like I'm shipping a twelve year old with someone ten years older than her, kthnxbye.