Chapter Nine: ~Forgiveness~

I followed Snape in the dark corridors of the dungeons.
He was talking to me about something related to the training that would follow, but I wasn't paying attention.

The dungeons looked amazing!
The green light of the lamps and the dim light that came through the windows, from the depths of the Black Lake sent chills through my whole body, but in a nice way. It made my blood boil with excitement.

"Are you listening to me, Miss Abbot?" asked Snape, raising the tone of his voice

"Ohhhh! Yes professor!" I screamed, coming back to the real world.

"Repeat what I said then" he said and stopped in front of me smirking in a way which showed that he knew I wasn't paying attention.

'Damn it! He got me!'

I remained silent, trying to make sense of the few words I picked up.

"Do you think I am volunteering to do this training with a stupid little girl that doesn't give a damn about my lessons?" He said, now shouting.

'He is doing it for me, for the safety of everyone and I am just being arrogant, not paying attention'

"I am sorry professor..."I said in an apologetic tone, looking at the ground.

He didn't say anything and he opened a door and signaled me to go in, using his head.

Behind the door there was a small room. The walls were covered in shelves, filled with potion ingredients and in the middle of the room there was a dark wooden table with two also dark wooden chairs.

He closed the door behind me and we both sat at the chairs.

"Okay, now I will try to enter your mind and I want you to let me in" he said, his raven black eyes looking into mine strictly.

'And how do I do that?'

"Just don't hide your feelings and your thoughts. Don't suppress them" he said answering my unasked question.

"Legilimens!" He screamed and pointed his wand at me.

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I was outside, at a forest. I could feel the wind on my skin. I could smell the moisture of the rain on the leaves and the noise of branches breaking echoed after each of my steps.

I had been there before, I was sure.

Suddenly two little girls run in front of me and the dark haired one fell on me.

"Woahhh, are you okay?" I said looking at the girl.
She didn't look at me. Her gaze was focused on the other girl who kept running.

"Be more careful next time!" I told her while she started running towards the other, blonde girl.

"Wait for me! Clare!" She screamed.

'Clare? That blond little girl is Clare? Does that mean that the other one that fell...was me?'

I started running, following them.
Their laughter was as soft as music to my ears and their smiles were bright, filled with happiness.

"Alex! Clare! Come over here!" A voice of a woman was heard.

That was mother, or as I called her when I was little...

"Mommy! We're coming!" The little me screamed.

Mother was waiting under a tree with a book in her hands. She wore a bright yellow dress and she had a big, kind and filled with love smile in her face.

Little me and little Clare run in her arms and she hugged us both with care and tenderness.

The little girls sat next to their mother, while she read them the book and I sat with them listening to the story, till the little ones fell asleep.

When mother stopped reading, I suddenly felt alone and scared...that woman is only a ghost of the past, that little, innocent Alex is a ghost of the past too, that little Clare, that forest...all that.

Tears filled my eyes as I walked towards the woman.

"Mom!I'm sorry! I'm so sorry...I've never should have existed! All I did was bring you trouble! Please forgive me..."

The forest started fading, along with mother and the little girls.

The memory was fading, I was being taken away.

"Forgive me..." I whispered one last time, before opening my eyes to face Snape.

"Professor! What was that?" I asked Snape, with tears streaming down my face.

"That, miss Abbot, was the memory you chose to share with me" he said with an unexpected smile on his face.

"I chose to share with you?"

"Exactly...I couldn't explore your mind; you forced me to see this. You are also a naturally skilled in Occlumency, as Dumbledore predicted" he said with a challenging smirk.

"Occlumency?" I asked confused.

"Yes, the art of mind defense. You defended your thoughts and feelings subconsciously, which is good"

"Now it's your turn to try and enter my mind. I will defend. Just point your wand at me and say Leg-"

I didn't need to point my wand.
I didn't have to say anything.
All I did was look him in the eyes.

Now I was standing next to a lake which was none other than the Black Lake of Hogwarts.

A red-haired girl and a black haired boy were laying at the shore, looking up in the sky.

The boy was whispering to the girl's ear and the girl would laugh.

She seemed around my age and she was wearing a Gryffindor uniform, while the boy seemed older and tired and he was wearing a Slytherin one.

They seemed happy, but not exactly happy.
The boy seemed sad deep inside him. In fact I could feel his sadness, jealously and anger.

"Lily!" Screamed another boy in a Gryffindor uniform and the girl stood up.

"See you later Severus!" She said waving goodbye to the Slytherin boy.

'That damn Potter!He doesn't deserve her!' he though.

And that's when I realized the boy was Snape and I could read his thoughts because I was in his head.

'How do I get out of here? I don't care about TeenageSnape'sdramatic love life'

Suddenly everything went dark.

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I was in the infirmary.
And I could see my body laying on a bed, tied.

'That's from when I was unconscious after Moody's lesson'

Snape and Dumbledore were there, sitting next to my bed.

"Why would you bring her in Hogwarts?"Snape asked looking troubled.

"I believe we can help her learn to control it and if she does learn to, she's going to be useful when the time comes" answered Dumbledore, looking at Snape with eyes full of knowledge.

Snape just looked at me and pointed his wand at my forehead.

"Legilimens!" he shouted, shutting his eyes tight.

After a while he opened them and exhaled.

"Its not working again" Snape admitted disappointed

"She could be using Occlumency subconsciously" suggested Dumbledore.

Snape remained silent and just looked at me.

"I want you to train her Severus" said Dumbledore.

After that I couldn't watch or hear anything else. It went dark again and I was being pushed out.

'I want to know what he said! I want to know why they had me tied! Don't push me out!'I screamed in my head.

I was in Snape's office again.

I stood up and looked around but something was not right.

And then I saw.

I looked at the other side of the table and instead of seeing Snape, I saw myself.

My gaze was empty and unfocussed. Exactly like it was back in Beauxbatons.

I could feel Snape's heart beat rising as I got panicked and I screamed in his voice.

"What's going on! Help! I don't want to do anything like this again!"I screamed in Snape's voice and collapsed on the floor.

After a few minutes I woke up because of Snape shaking me.

I was still sitting on my chair while he had a big bruise on his cheek.

"Professor...I am so sorry" I said looking at him shocked.

'I can't believe I did this to him'

"We have much work to do Miss Abbot" he said in an angry tone.

"Meet me here, tomorrow, same time. Now if you'll excuse me" he said and left the room in a hurry.

'I can't believe this...Another "incident" almost happened!'