Author's Note: Happy 13th!
Chapter Ten:
The One With Inner Pockets
The swing set creaked as Cook took a seat, feeling the cool bite of the iron chains against his palms. Though the night was still young, the chill had settled early. Even without the smoke of the cigarette he placed limply between his lips, his exhales were visible.
Looking around, Cook wondered if the elementary school playground held any special meaning to Effy. When she had asked to meet him, he figured they would have hit a bar, or maybe gone back to hers. The lack of privacy at his had always kept them on the streets, fucking where they could, getting high where they couldn't. This playground had never been one of those places, but as Cook grounded his toes into the soft mulch beneath him, he could not help but imagine the highs he could take her, suspended somewhere between the earth and sky and yet buried deep.
Shaking the thought from his head, Cook cupped his hand over the flame of his lighter, the tip of his cigarette bobbing amidst the flame as he inhaled. He took a few heavy drags, allowing the nicotine to replace the longing in his heart and loins as it had always done for him. Nothing had comforted him throughout the years for as long as his habit had, not even Naomi. He could still remember hacking up his first cigarette at eleven, certain he was going to vomit his lungs. No one had taught him that girls could make him feel the same. No one before Effy.
That's how he could justify sitting where he sat, waiting for the woman who left him without so much as a goodbye. It's how he could justify breaking into a run the second the call ended, afraid that if Effy beat him there by even a minute, her fickle mind would take his absence as an affront, forever closing the door he thought had locked the day she never returned. If there was even a sliver of a chance to make her real again, he would run until his feet were nubs. And then he would crawl.
But was this not crawling in itself? She had called from Katie's phone. She didn't say anything that was not related to getting him here and yet he hadn't questioned anything. It all seemed so irrelevant at the time. Maybe it was irrelevant still.
Kicking off the ground, Cook threw his weight into the pendulum motion of the swing, climbing higher until he was practically parallel with the ground. The swing set groaned with the effort, the suspended chains pinched his fingers every time they grew taut. But it was a small price to pay for the adrenaline rush, wondering which tick of the pendulum would be the one to throw him off.
From the air, Cook spotted Effy, arms clutched about her chest, a cigarette of her own wedged between her fingers. Her eyes were to the ground, her pace brisk as her breath left her in milky clouds. She hadn't spotted him yet.
Cook dropped altitude, jumping from the swing the moment he felt he could make the landing. His feet landed true, but the momentum he had built threw him forward, causing him to stumble forward in wide, awkward gaits before he finally succumbed to the motion and let himself fall, catching himself on his palms. Righting himself back to standing with a push, Cook brushed the dirt and embedded bits of wood-chippings from his hands. Effy rounded the corner of the elementary school building just as he flicked the spent butt of his cigarette beneath the monkey bars.
The meeting of their eyes stopped Effy in her tracks, four yards short of making contact. Even from far away, Cook could see her small frame trembling beneath clothes that could not possibly keep her warm. Her arms were wrapped about her chest, white fingers clutching pink arms, vibrating lips betraying the chattering going on beneath them.
Beginning to work off his jacket, Cook started towards Effy, only to have her do the same. She matched his pace at first, a slow, leisurely stride, but as Cook kept constant, Effy gained speed, breaking out into a sprint. Surprised, Cook found his feet rooting in anticipation, Effy barreling ever closer. As he wondered if she would stop, he barely removed his jacket before she was aerial. A second later, she was caught in his arms, legs wrapping around his waist, feverish lips stealing every bit of warmth from his own as Cook staggered back with the entirety of her unexpected weight.
Only after securing his footing, nearly tripping over the jacket that had dropped to his feet, could Cook begin to process why he was kissing her back with equal fervor. The only thing he could land on was the fact that it felt right, like it always had. Holding her. Kissing her. Fucking her. It was like his body was made to interact with hers, but his head was not so convinced. It had started heeding his heart the second she had broken it. Good things never lasted, not when they came so easily.
"Eff," he tried to speak, but Effy continued to crash her lips against his, tongue pressing to muffle his protests, coaxing him to kiss her with the abandon she had come to crave in Cook. The harder she insisted, the more he fought to get her attention, fitting in her name whenever he could surface for air. "Eff. Eff. Eff. Stop."
Dropping the support of his arms beneath her thighs, he placed his palms firmly on her shoulders and pressed, wrenching his own torso away until she finally unlatched herself from him, feet hitting the ground hard. She recoiled in a few short steps, casting her eyes downward to hide her face as she clutched at her arms once more.
"Whot are you doin', Eff? Whot's this?"
Effy looked up from the ground, an edge of bitterness in her tone, "Thought it was pretty obvious."
"You can't joost-"
"Why not?" Cook shook his head, seeing through Effy's defiant ruse as she tried to stare him down, but she quaked like a kitten, down to her shivering irises. It was evident she was hurting, but it was a long time ago that he had been her fix.
As she drew her arms tighter about her chest, Cook leaned down to retrieve the jacket between them, shaking it out before holding it open by the collar. With a jerk of his head, he motioned between Effy and the jacket. "Coom on, you're gunna catch your death." Effy stared at him hard. "I'm not playin', Eff. You're a shade away froom the Blue Man Group."
Relenting, Effy stepped toward him, turning her back to him as he lifted the jacket to her level, holding it steady as she fed both hands through the thick, cotton-lined cuffs. Pulling the jacket tighter around her frame, Effy turned, looking up at Cook. He smiled down at her, hoping to get some reaction outside of her scrutinizing stare, but when none else came, he cast a look towards the swings.
"Wanna sit?" Cook asked before lumbering to the swing set himself, confident Effy had no objections. He took a seat and watched as Effy took the one beside him, rocking her heels back and forth to establish a gentle sway to and fro. He waited for Effy to say something. It didn't take long.
"Why are you here, Cook?" Cook turned his head in her direction, brow furrowing.
"You called me. Froom Katie's phone, I might add." Effy turned to meet his gaze, hands gripping at the chains beside her head.
"But why did you come?" Cook was not as quick to answer this time, sighing heavily as he chose his words carefully.
"I miss you, Eff. I wanted t'see how you're doin'. You haven't exactly kept in touch." Effy shook her head slowly, turning away to look at the sky.
"Now you care?" Cook dug his toes into the mulch, halting the lazy swing he had let the wind coerce him into. Leaning in towards Effy, he kept his eyes on hers, even as she continued to stare off into the stars.
"Whot? Are you 'avin' a laugh? You bein' real right now? Eff, I have never stopped carin' for you."
"You didn't seem to mind turning me to the streets." Cook continued to gape, utterly baffled.
"Whot you on about?" Fists clenching the chains, Effy tore her gaze back to Cook's.
"You kicked me out, didn't you! You told me 'no more'. I begged you and you just shook your head." The look of confusion on Cook's face slowly faded to that of recognition, but his disbelieving scowl still remained. He leaned in even closer, dropping his voice between them despite their complete privacy.
"Fook's sake, Eff. Is that whot you remembuh? The last time I saw you, you was out of your 'ead, bustin' in 'igher than a kite. You brought home anuva boy, d'you remembuh that? Do you? Told 'im I was the candyman and asked me to tap soom lines out. I kicked him out, yeah? But you . . . I tried to help ya, Eff. But you didn't want help. You just wanted more." Cook watched as doubt began to seep into Effy's eyes. "You're right. You did beg. And it broke my heart. Shattered it into a million fookin' pieces. I tried to convince you to sleep it off, but you wasn't 'avin none of me anymore. You stormed out. I chased you down to the street, but by the time I caught up t'ya, you were in that man's car. He tore off 'fore I could get his license plate. Wish I 'ad gotten it. Didn't think it'd be the last time I saw ya."
Effy continued to search Cook's face long after he fell silent, the beginnings of tears shimmering in her eyes. Her mouth popped open, but no sound came out. She looked to the ground, closed her mouth and tried again.
"Cook, I- . . . I didn't remember it that way." Effy swallowed. "I was really fucked up, wasn't I?"
"Yeah, well . . ." Cook dug his thumbnail into the ink on his right hand. "Still my fault in the end, righ'? Got you 'ooked on the stoof. It made you stick around."
They both wallowed privately in the murky depths of who they once were, Cook raising his face to the sky to feel every bite of the windchill that swept across the nearly abandoned playground. Effy's swing creaked beside him. He knew he should say something. He had only imagined this chance since the day it became apparent it would never come and now that it was here, he could not believe that he was still unprepared. What did you say to keep Effy Stonem?
"I love you, Eff. That's why I'm here. S'why I'll always be here." The creak of Effy's swing stopped, bringing Cook's attention back down to earth. When he looked to Effy, Effy was already looking at him, thin tear tracks down her cheeks.
"Thanks . . . For loving me."
"Always, princess. Always."
The ringtone of Cook's phone startled both of them, Effy clutching at the vibrating mass against her side before coming to to what it was. Reaching into his jacket pocket, she pulled the phone out, unable to help glancing at the caller ID before hurriedly passing it over to Cook. It wasn't Katie, or even a name she recognized, and it wasn't a girl. Unless girls went by "Franky" these days.
Accepting the phone, Cook looked at the number and stood. "One minute. Promise," he asked of Effy before bringing the phone to his ear, beginning to pace off towards the jungle gym for a bit of privacy.
Effy watched him a moment, but with his back turned and his voice hushed, the view grew rapidly less stimulating. Recalling the brush of paper against the back of her hand as she had reached for Cook's phone, Effy took to exploring the pockets of his jacket, starting with the paper. It was an odd scrap to keep, scrawled with informal penmanship on a torn piece of loose-leaf.
It read, "Emily's coming over tomorrow. I don't know when or for how long, but you can find something to do for a day, right? Do this, and we'll call it even," signed "- N". Effy smiled for the first time since stepping outside.
"It looks like someone has a date."
Slipping the note back into the pocket she found it in, Effy continued her search of the others. Left waist. Left breast. Right breast. Outside of a pack of smokes and a lighter, Effy found nothing else. But Effy knew this jacket. She'd worn it before. Seen Cook in it a thousand times. It was his favorite, especially when he was forced to tote Effy's more feminine belongings around. Nothing was quite as discreet as inner pockets.
Reaching beneath the zipper, Effy's fingers traced against the split lip of the jacket lining before slipping beneath. She froze as she felt the familiar texture of Ziploc teeth and plastic, the granules of its contents shifting beneath her fingertips. instantly she knew what she had found.
There must have been five, maybe six grams of meth tucked away. Effy ran her fingers over each individual bag once more. Six. Definitely six. Casting a glance in Cook's direction, and before she could even reason why, Effy pinched a bag between her fingers and quickly drew her hand from Cook's jacket to the elastic waist of her leggings, tucking the pilfered product snugly between her skin and her knickers. She withdrew her hand to rest in her lap just as Cook let his phone drop to his side, turning to walk back to Effy.
With a listless sigh, Cook informed her, "That was a business call. I've got t'make a run to the ova side of town."
"Want company?" Cook smiled wryly, giving a shake of his head.
"I think we both know that's a bad idea. But," slipping his phone into his back pocket, Cook offered his newly-relieved hand to Effy, "whot'you say I walk you 'ome?" He waggled his brow a few times, eyes darting between Effy and his waiting hand until she broke into a soft smile and slipped her palm into his, accepting his help as he pulled her up gently off the swing.
"Where you livin', anyway?" Cook asked, falling into step beside Effy, just a fraction of an inch behind her as he gave her the lead.
"With Emily Fitch. I think you know her better as Thing Two."
"Oh hey, you're awake," Emily remarked as she walked through the door, casting a glance at her occupied couch as she hung up her keys. Half sitting up, half reclining against the armrest was Katie, eyes fighting to stay focused on an episode of something she could not even name. She must have dozed off between time slots.
"If this is what awake feels like, could I have some NyQuil?" Katie groaned, prying her body from the couch as she righted herself, rubbing at her eyes. Emily smiled.
"You can have whatever you want when I get you home. I'm going to check on Effy, and then we can head out." Emily crossed behind the couch into the hallway, knocking on the first door to her right.
"Eff, you still up?" She ceased her knocking a moment to listen. "I'm home if you wanted to talk." Another pause as she waited for Effy to answer.
She normally wouldn't, knowing just how valuable privacy could be, but after the whirlwind with her sister, the nagging feeling that something just wasn't right compelled her to open the door. She twisted the doorknob slowly, pressing into the door evenly just enough to poke her head inside. The lights were off, save for a soft nightlight by Effy's closet door. Emily could just make out the back of Effy's curled body intertwined with her thin sheets. Withdrawing from the bedroom, she shut the door as softly as she had opened it.
"I guess it can wait until later."
Stepping back into the living room, Emily was surprised to find Katie folding her freshly-retrieved clothes, still warm from the dryer judging by the way she pressed her tank top to her cheek.
"Ready to go?" Katie did not answer as she looked around, brow furrowed.
"Do you know where my phone is?" Emily frowned.
"You didn't see it on the nightstand?" Turning back into the hallway, Emily followed it down to her own bedroom, stepping inside for a quick look. Just as she was about to grow concerned, Katie's voice called from the kitchen.
"Found it!" Closing her door, Emily joined Katie out in the kitchen where she remained standing as she checked through her notifications.
"Dad called like, seven times . . ."
"Did you tell him you were going out?"
"Do I ever?"
"Good point." Emily could not help but glance over her sister's shoulder as she gathered her keys back up, finding it funny that habit had kept her from just pocketing them like a sensible person on the go.
"Four times in twenty four hours. That's got to be a record for Danny." Katie smacked her tongue against the roof of her mouth.
"Yeah, well, too little, too late. Can't get him to call when I want him to, but of course the second I tell him to fuck off . . ."
"Permanently?" Emily asked with a lilt of hopefulness. Katie looked up from her screen to access the hesitant joy in Emily's eyes.
"Consider it our early birthday present," Katie confirmed, returning her attention back to her phone briefly before tucking it away in her purse. "Dad didn't leave any messages." Katie needn't say another word, Emily jingling her keys before striding to the coat rack, offering her own to Katie, who was still dressed in the sheer t-shirt and pajama bottoms their grandmother had gifted them last Christmas. Katie slipped it on with no question, but she was not as quick to agree to the helmet plopped into her hands.
"Ugh, I'll get helmet hair." Emily gave Katie a deadpan stare.
"Really?"
After Katie's initial vocalizations of how unpleasant it was to whip through downtown exposed to the biting elements, clinging to her sister's waist like a child, the rest of the drive remained fairly quiet. Emily could only really hear Katie when they were stopped at lights, the pressure of her helmet over her ears and the wind carrying Katie's voice away from her making it difficult to understand much. Still, in the brief windows stopped by red, Katie had managed to catch Emily up on the night she had with Cook and just how exactly she had kicked Danny to the curb. As Emily turned into the neighborhood, Katie turned the mic on Emily unexpectedly.
"Why didn't you tell me Effy was a user?"
"You know?"
"She told me. Right before she told me to stay away from Cook. They've dated, haven't they? I'm sorry, Ems, but that girl's capital M mental." Emily shoved her elbow back against Katie's arm.
"Jesus, Katie, you don't have to be a judgmental bitch all the time, you know."
"Says the pot! Whatever, just answer the question."
"I figured you were mad enough to tell Mom and I just really didn't want to do that to Effy. She's had it hard enough as it is."
"Oh yeah. Free roof. Free food. Free furniture. She's really roughin' it."
"Seriously, Katie. How can you be so callous?"
"How can you afford to be so altruistic?" Emily's mouth went dry at the inquiry. With everything else on her plate for the next few days, she had nearly forgotten the mere five minutes in her manager's office that would change everything. She was just getting by as it was. And Effy had made no headway in securing a job. But this was a headache for tomorrow.
"I don't know, but as long as I can, I will."
Turning on to their street, Emily felt Katie straighten up and lean into her, chin hovering just over Emily's shoulder as she strained for a better look ahead.
"Fuck me, that's Danny's convertible. I can't believe he's camping my house!" Emily dropped from 10 mph to 5 mph, straining her eyes to make out the license plate of the vehicle on the street. Barely coasting, she looked back at Katie.
"Do you want to talk to him?"
"About as much as I want my molars pulled."
"Right. Sit tight, then. I've dreamt about this."
Bringing her moped to a stop four houses down, Emily deployed the kickstand and shut the engine off, removing her helmet in the process. Placing it and the keys in her now-unoccupied seat, she walked the rest of the way to Danny's parked vehicle, psyching herself up with every step.
Midway to, a head of long, blonde hair popped up into the passenger's seat, the woman it belonged to immediately bringing down the visor mirror to check herself in the dim light. Emily could just make out her reflection as she rounded the back of the car towards the driver's side door, a mouth of smeared lipstick framing a cocky smile as the woman too caught Emily in the reflection, turning in time to see Emily loom over Danny.
"What are you doing here, Danny?"
"He's come to talk to you, isn't it obvious? You don't break up with Danny. Danny breaks up w-"
"Mel, shut up, yeah? It's Emily," Danny shot impatiently at his passenger, looking miffed to have her speak on his part as he looked Emily up and down once-over. "Hey, where's your sister? I've got questions." He strained to look back in his seat, making out the reflective surface of Emily's headlight back a handful of yards, Katie's silhouette sitting just behind it. Emily's hard tone snapped him back to her.
"You're not very bright, are you? Thought she was pretty clear."
"One thing your sister isn't is clear. Obviously, she's havin' a fit or somethin'. So just let me talk to her and get this sorted, alright?" Danny moved to open his car door, but Emily was quicker, wrapping both her palms over the door frame before shoving it shut.
"Get over yourself, Danny. It's over."
"When did you grow a spine? Or are you just borrowin' your sister's?" He tried at the door again, but Emily flushed her thighs to the door, using her body weight as a blockade. "Just let me fuckin' talk to her, seconds." Emily's eyes flashed, but she kept her temper in check as she leaned down.
"My dad is just inside, so if you want to talk, you'd better be able to say your piece before the police arrive." Emily's eyes darted over to the blonde still leering at her. "How old is she? Twelve?"
"Why's it matter? She's a friend, along for moral support."
"Moral," Emily repeated, tasting the word as if it were foreign. "Is that why your pants are unzipped?" As Danny's head dropped to look down into his lap, Emily spoke to the girl beside him.
"After all that oral support, you may want to rinse with mouthwash tonight. Danny's had chlamydia three times."
"Fucking christ! You fucking Fitches aren't worth it! The lot of you!" Danny spat, jamming his thumb into the key-less ignition. "Your sister's an average lay at best. Too bad. Who's gonna want her? Barren bitch."
Before Emily could tear into him, Danny's foot was to the gas. She barely had time to release the door frame and jump back before his tires screeched against the asphalt, tearing him off around the corner and waking up half the block's now-barking dogs.
Heart pumping with a giddy adrenaline, she almost wished she would have let him step out of the car, but for as dense as Danny was, his body mass was denser. She was content enough with the fact that Katie had been spared his heartless jab and that, hopefully, they would both be spared of him from here on.
The light of Emily's moped spilled across her before Katie shakily managed it into the driveway, shutting it off and dismounting. She didn't need to deploy the kickstand. She had driven with it down. Emily was just impressed Katie hadn't run the scooter into a mailbox.
"What'd he want?" Katie asked, genuinely curious as she handed Emily her helmet and the keys. They walked up the sidewalk to the door side by side.
"To save his ego. Did you see that-"
"Bimbo bitch?"
"I'm sorry, Katie."
"For being right?" Emily smiled somewhat deviously.
"No, for not pulling out her hair for you." Katie smiled warmly at Emily before shrugging.
"Skank's probably got lice anyway."
Just as Emily opened the screen door, the door behind it swung open, revealing a messy mop of blonde hair. Emily and Katie had to look up to see the eyes of their baby brother.
"Whoa, seeing double. Emily, is that really you? Quick, do something gay!" Emily rolled her eyes before pushing past James, shoving her palm against his chest.
"You're not normal yet?"
"Normal is relative!" James shot back before a second push against his chest knocked the wind from his sails, leaving his trailing eyes to question Katie's betrayal as both his sisters disappeared into the living room. "What was that for?"
"Looked fun," Katie shrugged, waiting for James to shut the door before she turned to him, now filling the archway. "Where's Dad?" James shrugged.
"Upstairs, probably. Talkin' to Mom. She's gone off her rocker. Wants me to move in with her and Gammy. I can't do that! I'll never get the smell of moth balls and perfume out of my clothes! Ladies don't find that sexy!" Despite his assuredness, his eyes slipped to Emily and with it his confidence as he deferred to his surely-more-experienced sister. "Do they?"
"What?" Emily and Katie both exclaimed in unison before Katie headed up the response.
"She can't be serious. When?"
"At the end of this semester. I'm going to be the only loser transferring mid-school year! Gordon McPherson's gonna win our bet! Dad's gonna be alone and fat!"
"She can't make you. That's ridiculous," Emily combated, but the look to follow on all their faces said otherwise. Katie was the first to put it into words.
"She could if she wanted to badly enough."
Kicking at the carpet, James stepped into the den, throwing himself between his sister's on the couch before deflating between the cushion cracks. Katie leaned into him, Emily following suit, hooking their arms with his until they were sure he wouldn't slip between them and disappear entirely.
"I liked it better when they were gross," James mumbled, eyes tracing to the ceiling as it shook with the force of something slamming upstairs. Katie's fingers twined with his, squeezing his hand firmly.
Emily reached for the remote sitting atop the coffee table, switching the television on before flicking through the channels. Parent Trap came and went before James could lazily hit Emily's knee.
"Go back." Emily did as instructed, a pang echoing in her chest at her brother's next words as Lindsay Lohan's father met eyes with other Lindsay Lohan's mother. "Take notes."