A/N I know, I know... it's been ages *sigh* I am sorry...

Thanks to the wonderful Lupin111 for helping me out and urging me on

Gus and Charlie were once again hanging out on Debbie's back porch, talking. Gus was trying hard to concentrate on the conversation, but his mind kept wandering away. And the worst part of it all: it was a certain blond he kept thinking of.

In the three days that had followed Christmas, he had started to come to terms with the fact that whatever he did, his thoughts would still go back to Justin. It would have been easier if Justin had turned out to be a boring or uninteresting person. But he wasn't. On the contrary, Gus found him to be very interesting. Very interesting indeed. He loved talking to him, loved seeing him every single time.

Love is bullshit right? Isn't that what he always said? That it only caused heartache? Gus was quickly becoming a living example of that. And he hated it.

And if his reluctance towards love in general weren't enough, the fact that he had growing emotions towards his own uncle- wasn't that what Justin is? His uncle? JR kept calling him that, so that's what he had to be- came to add insult to injury.

Gus knew what he had to do. He had to keep away from Justin. He had to stay away, and let time take its course.

However, he had no idea how the hell he was supposed to do that, when seeing Justin was always the highlight of his day. And when he didn't see him… he kept thinking of the next time he would be seeing him.

It didn't help in the least that Justin seemed content to go out with him and Charlie every freaking night either. Gus had been seeing more of Justin than he had of his own family, even though they shared the same roof.

"Do you have a cigarette?" Charlie asked.

Gus pulled out his pack from his back pocket. It was the first time since the bet.

Charlie took it in his hands and after pulling out a cigarette, he inspected the pack interested.

"Hey isn't this the pack you had on Christmas day?"

"Huh? How do you…?"

"It is!" Charlie cried out pointing at the pack. "It has scribbling on it you see. Here is my signature and here is JR's. We were trying to figure out who has the best one."

"And who does?" Gus asked, trying to change the subject.

Charlie shrugged "She says she does, but I'm definitely the winner. I mean seriously look" he passed the pack back. "What do you think?"

"You both have terrible writing." Gus replied before putting it back in his pocket.

"Touché. So, anyway, how come you still have that pack?"

"Why wouldn't I?

"Because it's been three days and you smoke like a chimney."

"I quit."

"You?" Charlie laughed surprised. "You quit?"

"Yes I quit. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because you have no self-control whatsoever. You see something you want and you go for it. And now you are telling me you are going to deny yourself your valuable smokes?"

"Believe whatever you want Charlie…" he moved to get back into the house, but Charlie stopped him.

"Wait! I want to talk to you about something…"

"Go on."

"I…um…" Charlie took a deep breath, gathering courage. "I like Justin. Like, really like him. And I think I might have a shot with him. But I don't want to do anything before asking you."

Gus felt his stomach twisting, ready to deposit its contents on his brand new shoes.

"You seem to be getting closer. And I thought I should ask for your permission…" Charlie went on, awkward.

"You don't need my blessing. Justin hasn't upgraded into my dad or anything."

"Still… Is it ok with you?"

"He has a boyfriend." Gus blurted out before realizing it.

"Really? He hasn't mentioned…"

"He told me yesterday." Gus confirmed, even though it was a blatant lie. "And at any rate… he is too old for you. And I'm not sure if I'd be ok with it."

Not sure my ass. The mere thought of Justin with Charlie made him feel sick. The thought of Justin with anyone for that matter.

"Oh…" Charlie seemed to be deflating like a balloon. "Ok then… I'll get over it." He moved closer to Gus and put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I'd never do anything to hurt you, you know that right?"

Gus nodded silently, feeling like the biggest asshole in the world.

"I'll go take a shower." Charlie informed him. "Thanks for not… freaking out or anything…" he murmured and opened the door to Debbie's house.

When Gus was alone, he contemplated running after Charlie and telling him the truth. But he couldn't do that.

He couldn't tell him, that the reason his best friend wasn't supposed to come on to Justin, was not because Justin had a boyfriend. It was because Gus wanted to be with him himself.

He wasn't sure when exactly he had crossed the line between confused to outright infatuated.

He didn't believe in love, that had not changed. Justin was not right for him, that hadn't changed either- it was never going to change.

Nevertheless, he knew with a conviction that transcended everything else, that he could not let it happen. He couldn't- wouldn't- let Charlie have a try at Justin. And apparently he had no problem lying his way into getting what he wanted.

When had he turned into this inconsiderate prick?

you have no self-control whatsoever. You see something you want and you go for it.

Was Charlie right? Was this new… obsession with Justin just that? An obsession, the need of a whiny child to get his way?

His cold fingers searched for his pack. He pulled out a cigarette, put it between his lips and lighted. His safety net.

As soon as the first heavy inhale reached his lungs he spit more than pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and hurriedly put it out.

He couldn't smoke.

He had promised Justin.

A few days later…..

"So… um… isn't it a little late for Charlie to be picking up Christmas presents? I mean Christmas is over." Justin asked.

Gus and he were outside a big store overfilled with Christmas related paraphernalia, too many decorations and Christmas lights. Justin had been surprised when Charlie had called him that morning. Now, Charlie was spending whatever money he had on gifts, and Gus and Justin were waiting for him outside, the cold winter air making their eyes water.

"Yeah. But he is always like that. He always forgets. Once he got me a birthday present 5 months late. And he couldn't not buy anything for JR…"

"He has to find something phenomenal to make up for what JR bought him." Justin commented.

Gus laughed. JR had bought Charlie a "willie warmer" shaped like a pink elephant. "Yeah she went to no ends this year. It's quite disturbing when your little sister does that shit. Mostly because I should have thought of it myself."

"Because it is so practical right?" Justin grinned up at him.

"It is pretty cold in Toronto, you got to admit that."

"Don't be disappointed Gus." Justin patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Santa will bring you a sock to keep your penis warm next year."

"Complete with a set of separate ball-warmers, so they won't get jealous."

"Yeah. And they will have "earl grey" written on them, ready for tea-bagging!"

Gus laughed out loud at that. "Such a vulgar imagination! My moms told me not to hang out with you. You are a bad influence."

"Aw. Now I'm hurt." Justin brought his hand on top of his chest like he'd just been stabbed in the heart. "Do you want to sit down?" he pointed at a nearby bench.

"Sure."

Justin let out a groan, as his ass made contact with the freezing cold bench. "Shit. It's too damn cold here. I might need a willie- warmer soon too."

"Here" Gus took his jacket off and offered it to him. "Sit on this."

"And what exactly are you going to do? Freeze to death? Put your jacket back on Gus."

Gus wore it again reluctantly. "Do you always refuse help? From everyone?"

"I like to be self-sufficient. It's the one way to make it out of life alive. You have to rely on yourself"

"And I thought I was the pessimist. How the hell did you work with Uncle Michael anyway? He always takes care of everyone."

"That's a subtle way to put it." Justin sighed. Michael was always taking care of everyone indeed. At least the Michael he remembered. He wasn't sure about the Michael that had been graciously giving him death glares from the time he stepped his foot in Pittsburg. "He was a great partner really."

"Too bad you guys aren't making a Rage- the sequel."

Justin shrugged. "I don't think he'd like that. He's not so fond of me I figure. Does he… does he ever mention me?"

Gus couldn't help but cringe.

"It's ok, don't answer that. Your expression gave it away really."

"No! It's not like that." Gus tried to amend. "He just… he…"

"Doesn't like me?"

"Yeah…. Sort of…" Gus resigned finally.

"Well, I can't really blame him."

Gus hated the sad look Justin had right not. The man always looked sad, even when he was laughing. He'd love to one day see his face totally care-free. So, Gus said the first thing that came to mind, to get Justin to look at him again. "To tell you the truth, I kind of didn't like you either up till now."

"Geez. Thanks for the boost Gus!"

"It's nothing personal. You just never called. You never visited. You were this big mystery." Justin was still a mystery for him. The biggest one of all. The way Gus felt right now, having the man's blue eyes on him and not being able to tear his gaze away, the way he felt in his very soul that urge to make Justin like him, hell to even notice him really… It was something he could not explain. "It was easier to hate you than face the fact that you never cared."

"Of course I cared. I always did. But you were new and fresh, and I was not able to consider the possibility of talking to you over the phone. What could I tell you really? I didn't want to weigh you down with my troubles. They were not a good discussion subject with a 10 year old."

"I am not 10 anymore. I haven't been 10 for a long time."

"No you are not." Justin sighed again. "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do about it now. I wish I had been there for you. But I can't go back in time and fix everything."

So much for making Justin feel better. Gus had probably made things worse. "It's ok. You are here now."

Justin decided to take the loophole. "So does that mean you don't think as bad of me now?"

"No. Not at all." Gus let his gaze linger on Justin's face once again, and looked back at how in a mere week, he was starting to believe he would not be able to consider his life without a permanent Justin Taylor fixture.

"Now that I know you… I can't really come up with a reason why someone wouldn't love you."

Justin was taken aback. "That's sweet Gus. Really very sweet. Especially coming from someone who doesn't even believe in love."

"What can I say?" Gus shrugged. "I am a cuddly teddy bear deep down."

"Somehow I doubt that." Justin replied amused. "But I guess that makes it even better that I'm on your good side now."

"Definitely. You don't want to be on my bad side." Gus tried to glare, but it soon turned into a grin.

"Well, you and another nihilistic person who doesn't believe in love will make a wonderful non-couple one day." Justin smiled back at him.

Gus chose to ignore the air vacating his lungs with a disappointed whoosh. He didn't want to think why when Justin wished him to find a perfect significant other, he felt like the blond had taken a gun out, shot him, and let Gus's guts spill on the snow.

Justin POV

Justin sometimes almost forgot that the young man in front of him was Gus, Brian's little son.

"Now that I know you… I can't really come up with a reason why someone wouldn't love you."

When Gus had uttered that, Justin was suddenly reminded of the fact that Gus was his father's son though. They both had a way of saying the most heart-felt things in the most blasé way, discarding them afterwards as nothing of importance. True, it had taken Brian many years to even consider using the word love in a sentence, but he always told other things, handing out to Justin tidbits of his affection, as much as his personality would allow him to.

Justin had no idea what he had done to deserve such kindness from Gus. He knew Gus's contempt and annoyance were much more well-earned, but the teen seemed to have forgiven him.

He would have loved to have seen Gus grow up. And JR too… All those years he had spent in NY alone, thinking it was for the best, it hadn't crossed his mind how much he was missing out on.

"I got all this amazing stuff!" a rapidly approaching Charlie informed them excited. He opened a huge plastic bag, full of God knows what sort of useless things the masterminds of capitalism had made sure to provide to the public, and pulled out a bright green beanie, before placing it on top of Justin's head. "This one is for you…."

Justin brought it in front of his eyes for inspection. It read "Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer" in red letters, next to what could pass as a reindeer, but looked mostly like a hippopotamus with horns.

Gus burst out laughing at that. "How very fitting. You and Rudolf have so much in common" he said, touching Justin's very cold, very pink nose.

"Oh don't get ahead of yourself sir. I got one for you too." Charlie deposited another beanie on Gus's head, this one with the words "Mr. grumpy pants" on it.

Justin couldn't help but laugh mockingly too. Gus was glaring at Charlie, with the fury of a hellish fire.

"And this one…" Charlie pulled yet another one out of his bag of goods, and wore it himself "is for me!" His own beanie read "smexy!", the exclamation point a glittery mess.

Justin laughed once again. Being with Gus and Charlie, made him feel giddier than he had in years. He didn't know how healthy it was to spend so much time with people so much younger than himself, but it sure as hell felt good.

And it certainly was more fulfilling than the time he had spent with Ted and Emmet the day before. Not that he hadn't enjoyed their company. But he couldn't get past the feeling that the two of them were looking at him, waiting for him to burst out in tears or have a fit. The past that united the three of them, instead of bringing them together, made them grow apart.

And Justin didn't want to think of the past right now. He wanted to stare into the blinding sun of what promised to be a fairly brighter future.

So he put the beanie on his head once again, and reaching out for Gus's hand with his right hand, Charlie's with his left, he walked down the road with them, their unusual choice of hats, gathering passerbys' attention.

Brian watched from the bed as Justin, fresh from the shower and fully clothed, emerged from the bathroom.

"Why are you wearing clothes?"

"You should too. We are going out. And as much as I'd love to have the entire gay population look up at me in admiration for having a naked Brian Kinney walk with me, I think it is a little too cold for that."

"Why are we going out again?"

"Oh come on! It is New Year's Eve! We're probably too late for the countdown, but you have to treat me to at least one ridiculously expensive dinner while you're here."

Brian stared at the offending clothes, and stood up from the bed.

"I'll buy you dinner tomorrow. Now… we can't really let the past year bid us goodbye without a proper countdown."

Justin looked on amused as Brian stalked closer, a predatory glint in his eyes.

"What do you have in mind?"

Brian, instead of answering, preferred to let his hands caress their way up Justin's arms, before helping the younger man out of his shirt. "Ten…"

He then brought his hand to Justin's fly, opening it while whispering "Nine…"

Justin caught on quickly. He pulled the pants off his legs saying with a huge grin on his face "Eight…"

Brian moved his lips to Justin's neck, kissing his pulse point, the skin there fluttering with Justin's increasing heat beat "Seven…"

Justin felt his eyelids closing at the contact. "Six…"

Brian took that as an indication that Justin was not so unwilling on parting with his clothes anymore. He pulled at the waistband of the younger man's boxers, pleased to see that Justin quickly got rid of them too, and stood in front of him as naked as he himself was. "Five…"

Justin couldn't help but let his fingers slide through Brian's hair, whispering "Four" before kissing him.

Brian started moving backwards toward the bed, pulling Justin along with him. He tore his lips away, only to place small spine-tingling kisses all the way to Justin's ear "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year Brian."

They never really got to number one.

The incessant thumpa thumpa was around him, making his heart beat faster. Justin closed his eyes and turned his face upward, feeling the confetti rain down on him.

Disco me to oblivion baby.

It was as if not a day had passed by.

Babylon was long gone, of course. But there were always a dozen other clubs you could go to. A whole bunch of new songs to dance to. New drinks and drugs to make you numb. New lovers waiting to be conquered.

He lifted his arms in the air, embracing the world, trying to lose himself to the music. He'd give anything to just disappear, dissolve in a climax of sound and color and confetti. On the dance floor.

And then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Can you come to the bar please? Charlie has been nagging me nonstop to fetch you." Gus shouted in his ear.

So Justin left the colors and the lights behind, and followed Gus.

Charlie was waiting them with a line of shots in front of him. "There you are!" he greeted them. "So this one" he picked up a shot glass containing a weird blue colored liquid and passed it over to Gus "is for you. And this one" he passed another one to Justin "is for you."

"What about poor Charlie? No drink for him?" Gus asked.

"These are for me." Charlie showed them 3 shots of whisky.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Gus confided in Justin.

"Enough talking. Bottoms up!" Charlie said before downing the first one of his shots.

Justin and Gus looked at each other doubtfully for a few seconds, until Justin shrugged and downed the drink, Gus following soon after.

"Jesus Christ!" Gus exclaimed disgusted. "What the fuck is in this thing?"

"Tastes like shit." Justin agreed.

"Tastes worse than shit. What is it?" Gus inquired, but Charlie was too busy laughing his ass off and pointing at the two of them mockingly.

In the days following Christmas, Justin had gotten used to Charlie's crude sense of humor. It was now New Year's Eve, and he could not believe that he was spending yet another night out in some club or other with two 19-year-olds.

"Don't make that face." Charlie told Gus, amused. "You know what you do in the first day of the new year, is what you'll be doing all year. And you really don't want to look like you've smelt crap all year round."

"Does that mean you'll be an immature asshole all year?" Gus replied.

"Touché." Charlie picked up two other, differently colored shots and held them out. "Here. Drink these."

"I don't think I'll ever take anything you give me again Charlie, sorry." Justin declined.

"They are ok. Really. Look. I'll have some myself." He downed one of the drinks quickly, gave the other one to Justin and ordered a replacement for Gus.

" Here is to meeting new people!" Charlie said raising his shot glass.

"And getting to know the old ones better" Gus added, looking at the blond next to him.

"To new beginnings" Justin offered.

"And getting shit-faced!" Charlie declared.

"I'll drink to that!" Justin smiled, and finally they all downed their drinks at the same time.

Justin watched in amusement as Gus spit out half of his drink. His own had tasted just fine. "Motherfucker! How the fuck did you…"

"A sensei never reveals his secrets." Charlie commented laughing.

"But Justin's was ok this time!"

"Well…" Charlie moved a hand to hug Justin's shoulders. "That's because I like Justin better. You are mean."

"Why are you my best friend again?" Gus murmured annoyed.

"But of course because you simply could not live without me. It is impossible."

"Now, now boys. Don't get flustered." Justin reached out for Gus. "Let's dance."

And as all three of them moved to the dance floor in unison, Justin promised himself that this time around things would be better. He'd make sure of it.

A/N thanks for reading and/or reviewing ;)