Note from the bastard who made you wait a long time: Yo. Since we have last met, a lot of my story has been destroyed by canon, who would have thought they would actually name my main character! Insanity. Alas, no names will be changed, you guys will just have to accept, like all fanfiction, mine is based off a set point of canon, and certain aspects just can't be changed. For the record though, I do like the name Minato quite a bit, I am not one of those writers who will bash his source work, as I still love Naruto in all of its weird glory., Deaths will be kept to canon deaths and I have a few new interesting ones once I get caught up, don't I?

Hope you guys enjoy, sorry for the massive wait. But I have a really good reason. There was this lady who needed help crossing the road, and you see I was so endeared to her I just had to stay and make she was OK after the crossing. Well, we got to talking and she said she crossed that street every day, so I obviously had to help her across the street the next day. But then her son appeared and said they had just found out that him and his wife were having a child and they were so existed that they didn't notice that a car was coming, and it hit the lady. Feeling so bad about it I promised to nurse her back to health and…

Well, her son promised to name me the God Father of his kid at least, always look at the bright side, my readers!

Oh, and if you are offended by strong language, you may want to skip over some of Tayuya's dialogue in this chapter, she can be colorful, and I chose to leave her be.

Chapter 10: Sound of Mind

Minato mused over his morning paper, gladly having a distraction from an otherwise boring day. He had judged a few people here and there, mostly boring people who died from such boring causes like a heart attack, a stroke, and a duel to the death after a ninety-eight hour battle.

Much to Minato's displeasure, he found out said battle was fought with Knights and Rooks, not kunai and jutsu.

Minato continued reading his paper, becoming slightly disturbed about some of the news that was being reported from the living world. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to extort the Shinigami into giving him some link to the outside world.

Flashback

"What do you mean you know about all the bets I have been making with Bob, Minato-kun? What does it matter if I may have had a small wager here and there?" The Shinigami knew he had nothing to worry about; at best his precious Minato had merely overheard a few words from a distance and could be led off the trail easily enough. Honestly, the odds that he actually heard about the one damning conversation were one in a million.

On the other hand…

"Small bets you say? Is that what you would call betting my very existence over a seal that was done under duress? While I have confidence in it, I am not ready to perish for all of eternity over your pride!" Minato's eyes showed fury, and the Death God really didn't want to see his favorite pet mad over a minor misunderstanding. Being generous for once, the Shinigami got an idea.

"I am sorry Minato-kun, how about I make it up for you in some way? Name a favor, any favor, and if it is within my vast power I shall grant it." As soon as the words were spoken the anger left the blonde's eyes and his features relaxed. Minato formed a foxy grin on his face and the Shinigami knew at once he had been had for a fool.

"Bring me a newspaper for Konoha, I want more information on the living!"

End Flashback

Looking at the Newspaper, Minato couldn't believe that Tsunade had recently been made Hokage, and further more, it was Naruto that had brought her back! It was also news to him that Jiraiya-sensei had taken Naruto as his apprentice. A sense of pride went through Minato's soul at hearing how far Naruto had come, managing to overcome the fools of his village. Speaking of fools, he kicked the Konoha ANBU that was hogtied under the table. His only response was to groan in pain.

Minato was truly impressed with how comprehensive and fair this newspaper was. Although it was most odd, he knew from several reports that most people, at the best of times, ignored Naruto and paid him no mind, as if he were not even alive. Yet whoever had written this paper seemed to have a genuine fondness for Naruto. But how could that be?

A Day earlier, in Konoha

The Shinigami sipped on some tea as he stared at the sleeping form of Iruka, Naruto's former teacher and the person who looked out for Naruto the most, an older brother figure of sorts, the Death God had surmised. What a perfect person to manipulate into doing his dirty work for him. Taking a few steps so that he was directly above Iruka, he poked the man's forehead, entering his mind.

If Naruto's mind resembled a sewer due to years of mental abuse and neglect, then the plain white rooms of Iruka's mind would have to signify years of being a very boring person on almost every level. The Shinigami crinkled its nose in disgust, turning around trying to find something interesting. Finally his eyes came to rest on a desk in the far corner of this massive house. There was a chair where Iruka sat, his eyes wandering to many pictures laid out before him, and as his eyes moves the expression on his face changed. The Shinigami could almost feel a small amount of pity for the man as he frowned at a picture of his parents, whose lives were taken the night the Kyuubi nearly destroyed Konoha. The next picture was one of his childhood sweetheart, Anko, made him wince. He had only asked her out once, and was quickly rejected by the Snake Sannin's only apprentice. He still liked her a lot, but never had the courage to do anything about it. Finally Iruka broke into a smile as he viewed a picture of Naruto and him sitting at the Ramen shop, Naruto looking as happy as could be, grinning like a fox while Iruka sheepishly smiled for the camera. The Shinigami thought it was best if he made contact now, before he threw up his dinner.

Ah Minato, you would be so glad to see that there are those that would safeguard Naruto with their lives if need be… alas, it only makes me sick.

"Good evening to you, Iruka-san." The Death God's voice was low and deep, perfect for those moments when a cheery voice just isn't scary enough!

Iruka quickly turned around to see the Shinigami standing before him in all his glory.

"Who are you!?" Iruka's voice was as hard as steel, and held no fear within it. But on the inside he was scared out of his mind.

"I am God, and I have come down from … what do you guys call it again?" At being asked such a question, Iruka simply reverted back to his school days of answering every question.

"Heaven?"

"Ah yes, right, I am God and I have come down from heaven to test your mettle as one of my chosen. If you perform the task well you will be rewarded appropriately." The Shinigami gave his best "I am being very nice to you for doing this" smile to Iruka, who in turn became even more scared.

Iruka is a wise man.

"But I don't-"The Shinigami waved his hand, dismissing whatever Iruka was about to say.

"All you have to do is write a paper about Konoha's affairs over the past year or so, and include lots of information about Naruto. A simple task for one such as yourself, correct, Iruka-san?" Again, the Shinigami beamed down at Iruka, trying his best to appear calm and nice. It was one of the many times where the Death God's expression belied his true nature. If Iruka did not agree to do this he'd have him tortured for years, because it meant that he himself would actually have to do real work.

This idea was considered preposterous to the Shinigami.

"Okay… that doesn't sound too hard, I guess." The Shinigami broke into an evil grin at hearing this. With a snap of his fingers every single item needed to print one copy of a quality Newspaper appeared. With all the materials needed, as well as detailed instructions on how to properly do everything, Iruka went to work.

The Shinigami was about to leave him to his work when he looked back down at the pictures and frowned slightly. Perhaps his pet had been getting to him more than he realized, because looking at the picture of Anko made him pity the lonely man. He'd make up for it later by torturing Orochimaru later, regardless.

As soon as Iruka woke up from his slumber, he'd find a half naked Anko in his bed, wanting to be cuddled.

Back to the White Space

Before he was able to turn to the Sports section of the paper, the queue button began to glow, signaling that someone had decided to drop dead and pay him a visit. How lovely.

Throwing his mug of coffee in a random direction, discarding the paper into a random drawer in his desk, and cracking his knuckles, he straightened up and made sure he was fully presentable for whoever had decided to die today. With all the preparations made, he pressed the button, allowing the six people in. Taking a glance down at his paper work, he looked at their names for a moment before taking the time to study the people themselves.

The first thing he noticed was that they all wore Sound headbands, indicating their allegiance before death. So I have a bunch of snakes, hooray…

The second thing he noticed happened to be a pink haired girl, possibly no older than Naruto, who was a foul mouthed wretch if he had ever seen one.

"I can't believe we Fuck-" She was interrupted by Minato.

"I'd ask you to watch your language, please." Minato's facial expression was impassive, as if he had just spoken about the weather.

The pink haired girl snarled at Minato, clearly not taking heed of his light warning.

"How about you take your dick and go fuck-" Minato was on top of her within a second, his hand calmly placed over her mouth. However his eyes had lost the warmth they usually carried, turning a frigid blue.

"I only ask politely once, Tayuya-chan." Minato's voice was flat and emotionless, and scared the crap out of everyone present. Kimimaro was the first to realize this man was obviously a ninja at one point, his speed being far too great for any normal person. Of course, if he was actually smart he'd realize that everyone here was dead so technically speaking no power from life should transfer to the after-life. But hey, when you have a life ending disease and spend all your time worshipping a pedophile snake something like "critical thinking" is left off the curriculum. Sadly, although Kimimaro had one answer, he was clueless as why some random ninja was here greeting them.

The first to recover from their fright was Tayuya, who had the most odd reaction imaginable.

Tayuya had reached out and grasped Minato in a massive, bone crushing, hug.

Minato was not amused.

"Why aren't you just the sexiest and most firm man that I have seen in all my years! Take me now my blonde headed man, take me like the stallion you are! I can take it, Orochimaru has experimented using all sorts of huge devices on my –" In a most uncanny fashion, the remaining members of the sound all managed to cover Tayuya's mouth just in time before the final word had slipped out.

The Yondaime twitched at her eagerness. Tayuya took this as a sign of approval and started to rub her head against his chest in what could only be gruesomely described as a loving manner.

Minato had to spend the next few minutes pulling the love-struck teen off of him.

Orochimaru you will pay for sending this … thing … to me

In a Dark, Scary place…

Orochimaru sneezed.

Kabuto rushed to his master's side.

"Are you alright, Orochimaru-Sama?" Kabuto's face was filled with concern, as a Medic-nin he was very paranoid any time even the tiniest of things seemed to be bothering him. Orochimaru looked at Kabuto with none of his usual amusement.

"Of course I am fine; I am simply adjusting to my new body. You should stop pestering me, Kabuto-kun, if you know what is best for you." The Snake Sannin gave Kabuto a dull but meaningful look, and Kabuto bowed his head in apology.

"Forgive me master, I will leave you to rest." Kabuto exited the room quietly, afraid to look back.

Meanwhile the invisible Shinigami giggled in delight at Orochimaru's sneeze. Over the years the sadistic bastard (… This is referring to the Shinigami, so we don't have any confusion on which one is being discussed) had planted so many seeds of paranoia into Orochimaru's mind that he was sure if he was ever cut open a new rain forest would spring up from the wound. Watching as his favorite torture toy lay down in his bed, the Shinigami looked to his right to a wheel. This was not any ordinary wheel, and it was not

ordinary for multiple reasons. For one, it was not visible to anyone aside from the Death God, the wheel being his private toy. Secondly, each portion of the wheel had different psychological tortures that the Shinigami could inflict on any mortal at any time. Spin the wheel, spin the wheel, where it will stop, nobody knows!

Also taped to the top of the wheel was a sign that said "Not an ordinary wheel, handle with care."

Using a boney finger, the Shinigami lightly tapped the wheel, causing it to spin. While waiting for the wheel to stop, as it usually took a few minutes given the Shinigami's vast strength, he began to ponder what would happen if his excellently executed plan to keep Orochimaru alive ever failed. While he was absolutely certain no natural cause would ever kill Orochimaru, oh how he had made sure of that, he had gathered quite a number of enemies throughout his life. It was possible, although unlikely given how many safeguards against all manners of death had dropped into Orochimaru's lap through various coincidental discoveries made by him throughout the years, that Orochimaru would eventually be killed either by some good for nothing hero who had enough power to back up his righteous fury or a fellow psychopath who saw Orochimaru as a rival. Whatever the case may be, the Shinigami dreaded that day greatly, and made a note to destroy the life of whatever dumbass was stupid enough to kill the snake Sannin.

Just as he finished the thought wheel stopped on a big frowning face. The Shinigami's face was a mirror image of the one on the wheel, for he was very displeased. All of the other places of the wheel had various evils written on them, but this one signified that there was to be no psychological torture for the day.

The Shinigami looked left, and then he looked right. With a shrug of his shoulders he spun the wheel again.

He never said he played fair, now did he?

The evil laughter rang throughout the room, although there was no one to hear it but the Death God himself.

In other, less important ventures…

"I suppose it is not every day that God walks into your domain to take a peek around then." Nick smiled tightly, always confused beyond belief by the person who all referred to, in some language, manner, or reality, as "God." To look into the face of God was to look on perfection in every way. Imagine the most beautiful woman you had ever laid your eyes on, and that was what God looked like. Now you may be thinking that is a bit odd, and it would be so, if not for the fact it was a purposeful trick by God into making people feel more familiar with her. For the purposes of this conversation, her features were pretty but not bubbly, her figure shapely but not disgusting, and she had a fox tail.

Honestly, who didn't see that last one coming?

"Kami-sama, although it has been some time, you are as creepily attractive as ever." Kami beamed at Nick and bent down and ruffled his hair a little bit. Nick rolled his eyes at this habit, being treated like a kid by a person who looked like the most incredible being you'd ever seen… was oddly arousing. It didn't help that when he thought this Kami laughed at him, since she read his mind like an open book.

"Nick, I have not come here just to have you ogle at- eyes on the face young man." She got a stern expression as Nick's head tilted up more so that he was looking directly into her eyes; he was totally nonplussed about being caught looking.

"As I was saying, this is not a personal visit. I have come here to inform you by breaking Law 768 Subsection C Paragraph 18 of the God Laws; Impersonation of me, Shinigami-kun has forfeited one soul in his possession to me. I would normally have chosen the Yondaime Hokage, given that he has many talents I could take advantage of, however he has been performing his job admirably so I chose to let him be. However, you are simply rotting away in this place, responding to mail from a demon long ago vanquished, it is simply not fitting of a man with such keen intellect such as yourself to be doing almost absolutely nothing with it, so you now belong to me." Kami smiled down at Nick who could only furrow his eyebrows.

"Ok… it isn't like I care at all." At Nick's bored attitude, Kami smirked.

"First things first, I am taking away the fox-girl." The moment Kami said this, a suffocating killing aura surged from Nick and engulfed the entire room. Rolling her eyes, Kami snapped her fingers at the dark aura dissipated all together, leaving Nick on his knees panting heavily.

"While I may have a bust that you adore, remember who you are in front of, fool." Kami's voice was cold, very annoyed at the stunt that the mortal just tried to pull.

Nick this time was not nonplussed.

"Forgive me, Kami-sama." Nick bowed before her.

"Forgiven. Now let us discuss our revenge on Shinigami-kun." Kami smiled widely as Nick's expression turned sadistic.

"As you wish, Milady."

The Damnable White Space

Minato watched as the paperwork for five people disappeared from his desk, along with their spirit counterparts. Kimimaro was the only one who remained behind. Minato, more than any other feeling, had pitied the others. They had no true like for Orochimaru, only a lust for power that had driven them mad. The only way in life they could find peace was by killing, by causing pain, by inflicting it. Their souls could no longer be called good or redeemable. The worst part of it was he knew that he had no choice but to punish them, technically they had a choice. In the end, it could all be traced back to Orochimaru. So many people had suffered because of his need to be the best, no matter the cost.

Orochimaru… you had best hope that you live forever, because if you don't, you will regret everything you've ever done in your miserable life.

Minato looked at Kimimaro's file and raised an eyebrow.

"So that whole bone Bloodline you have, does that not freak you out or what?" Kimimaro tilted his head in confusion.

"It was certainly popular with the ladies on the days I was healthy enough…" Kimimaro smiled slightly, as if recalling fond memories.

Minato was simply floored by that perverted revelation. I guess its like Jiraiya-sensei always said, you can't judge a book by its cover. He would not have guessed that the impassive and extremely loyal (to several degrees of fault) Kimimaro would ever have thought to use a Bloodline that seemed so well suited for battle in such a perverse manner.

I guess sensei's books may be more popular in Sound than I would have first imagined…

Straightening himself, he looked at Kimimaro earnestly and spoke without much emotion.

"I like you, believe it or not. I believe honor and loyalty are something to be rewarded, which it never was for you. Your honest and good feelings were only abused; you never had a chance to be anything due to sickness and manipulations, even if you don't realize it, even still. You have never had a real need for blood, or to kill, you simply did what you had to do in harsh conditions. You also picked the worst type of man to follow, one who preyed upon your weakness and exploited all the strength you had, all the way up to your death. I find that you are a pure soul, and deserve peace. I hope you find it kid, because it has eluded you far too long." Minato pressed a button on his desk and Kimimaro disappeared from sight, off to his final destination, somewhere nice and sunny.

Preparing to go have a snack, Minato stopped dead in his M & Ms deluded thought process as his Queue button flashed for a moment then stopped. Minato looked at it perplexed. Prepared to wave it off as a glitch, he turned to go when it flashed again. This time, before it could go back to its dormant state, he pressed the button.

To his horror the figure that greeted him was a familiar one. Covered in his own blood and with a gaping wound in his chest, his own son stood before him with a lost look in his eyes. Pain roared through Minato's spirit.

There's no way… not this soon… it can't possibly have come this soon… Naruto!

Naruto looked at the Yondaime, his face curious for a moment. He looked down at his chest and merely stared, genuinely confused about what had happened. Looking back up at Minato, Naruto's eyes glint with recognition.

"Yondaime…?" Minato's heart bled as he heard the innocent inquiry. He didn't expect him here this soon. He had so much ahead of him, how could this be the end?

How… did this happen?

A/N: Bad please to leave off perhaps? Sorry if that is the case, this cliffhanger won't take 15 months to resolve though, I promise. I love writing this story, and unless I am really feeling it I just can't write, even this doesn't seem quite right to me. So if you actually enjoy this chapter, please tell me so I will be less harsh on my stupid self. I wrote about half of this chapter in one setting over five hours or so, while doing a few other things, once I get started, writing isn't the problem, the "feeling" is the problem, I don't know if anyone gets what I mean. As always there is no silly "review" quota before I update (besides, I owe you guys updates really, you guys don't owe me a damn thing after that wait). Anyway read, enjoy, spread the word to your friends: Minato is back!