Chapter 10: The one where Maura faints
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It is Maura's second week at the hospital when a man in scrubs comes to find Jane, asking her to follow him to Dr. Maura. The combination of her friend's title and given name has a strange ring to Jane's ears and a nurse troubling himself to come and get her from the other side of town unsettles her deeply.
The morning is not even four hours old. Jane has started to count in Ethiopian time to sidestep some of the misunderstandings she has to face on a daily basis. And when the nurse comes looking for her, she is on top of Tayanne's kitchen, kneeling on the hay patches that make the roof, trying to free the smoke outlet.
Jane slides down the roof easily, sends Tayanne a questioning look to ask her, whether she can watch Alban for a little longer, and after a nod from the other woman, she follows the man to the yard, where one of the hospital's Land Rovers and a driver are waiting. Maura told Jane, how incredibly expensive fuel is in Ethiopia and that the hospital can only seldom and in very severe cases afford to pick up patients. Even less during the rainy season due to the worse condition of the roads. The fact that the car is waiting for Jane now, engine running, makes her stomach churn, her heart hammering painfully against its organic shell.
There is nothing to get out of the guy concerning the reason of his escort to the mana yala, the house of trying, a name Jane dreads, now more than ever. She is desperately trying to keep her mind from picturing all kinds of ugly scenarios of what might have happened to Maura. The doctor is still taking shifts at the eye department and since Jane cannot think of one serious disease that can be communicated from someone else's eyes, she somewhat felt on the safe side there, even though she suspects Maura could easily turn this kind of certainty upside down.
At the hospital Jane is greeted by Dr. Samuel whom she recalls from the gathering on New Year's Eve as well as from Maura's reports every evening. He is one of the hospital's surgeons and he excuses the nurse, who had picked up Jane, and asks her to follow him. He says that they have been trying to reach her, but Jane finds it hard to explain, what she had been doing and why she could not get or hear her phone.
She realizes she already visits the hospital for the second time under panicked circumstances and suddenly wishes for more time to meet the people Maura works with more properly and appreciate the beautifully landscaped garden in between the long, roofed but wall-less paths that connect the separate departments.
The young surgeon shakes her out of her thoughts, saying, "I'm sorry for what happened to your friend", and Jane can't prevent the invasion of a picture that shows Maura covered in blood, only the source of it still undetected. She is incapable to reply something, only stops breathing in response and follows his white coat through a door and into the middle of a fairly large crowd considering the rather small room. A salty smell of urine, blood and cleaning powder invades her nostrils, as the detective takes in the scene in front of her.
Someone is lying on a hospital bed, over which many men are hovering, and when Jane steps closer, oxygen fills her lungs with the sudden relieved gasp as she realizes it is not Maura. She feels the detective in her come to life, working to make sense of the situation, despite the fact she does not understand a word that is being spoken around her and that she is still anxious to make sure that Maura is alright.
The patient on the bed is an Ethiopian boy, not older than eight. One of his eyes is covered in gauze, his pillow has blood spatters all over and he is whimpering, obviously in pain. Before Jane can move to find out more, a hand on her shoulder startles her, Dr. Samuel urging her to move around the group of men and on to another bed.
There lies Maura, dressed in a white coat herself, stethoscope around her neck. Another nurse is next to her, taking her pulse. The last time Jane had seen her friend look this much like a real doctor, who is attending to live patients, was when that building in Boston had collapsed, trapping her brother, her baby nephew and her partner in the basement garage. That day Maura had looked tousled, exhausted and overwhelmed, but very much alive. Now her face is as white as her coat, she looks disoriented and is concentrating on taking deep and even breaths through her nose.
"Are you alright, Maur?" Jane asks, rushing to her friend's side, bumping awkwardly into the metal bed frame. Maura flinches and gives Jane a bewildered look.
"What happened?" Jane tries, gently now, carefully moving her hand so that Maura can see she is intending to touch her forehead to push away some sweaty strands of hair as well as checking for a fever. Out of the corner of her eye Jane notices Dr. Samuel nodding at the nurse in order to dismiss her, before he leaves, too, to give them as much privacy as possible.
"That boy", Maura slurs and Jane's brows furrow in concern. Maura swallows and her eyes dart around the room as if she is trying to find the injured child, but then she seems relieved when she finds Jane's eyes instead.
"They brought him in yesterday", Maura starts to explain, "ten inch stick inside his eye." Jane winces in displeasing sympathy. "Dr. Samuel had to take it out, stick and eye, and this morning on rounds he wanted to exchange the gauze bandages inside the now empty socket, but the fabric stuck to the wound and the boy- he was in so much agony..." Her illustration subsides in a shaky breath and the smallest whimper that makes Jane's heart go out to her friend as well as the little boy.
"I fainted, Jane", Maura whispers now, and she does not look simply embarrassed, but humiliated.
Jane has moved her hand to Maura's cheek, which she is stroking steadily. She moves in a little closer, answering Maura's earnest gaze with determination, whispering back: "Your secret's safe with me."
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She stumbles toward the bathroom before she is fully awake, before she even knows why.
She finds Maura leaning over the toilet, retching violently. She gets there in an instant, holding her friend's hair back, rubbing her neck, catching her as she sinks to the floor.
She drags the smaller woman back to her bed, makes her take anti-nausea-drops and places a bowl next to the mattress. She says, "I knew somethin' was up. You'd never faint over some lost eyeball", and notices the weak attempt of a smile Maura gives her.
She leaves her a little too hastily, goes to clean the bathroom. She needs to think.
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"You don't have to do that, you know?" Maura startles her.
It is true. Jane has been cleaning way more than necessary, but she also knows Maura is talking about the mess she made. The medical examiner is leaning against the door frame, pale and frowning.
"Should we go to the hospital?" Jane questions, the frown on her own forehead deepening when Maura shakes her head. "When Alban was sick, you insisted on going to the hospital right away", the detective argues.
"I don't have the immune system of a barely five-month-old."
"You're resistant to malaria?" Jane asks incredulously.
"I told you, malaria is highly unlikely." Maura almost rolls her eyes. Almost. Jane catches it anyway. And decides not to act on it, not to get angry. She just needs to know, if Maura is also going to be reasonable when it comes to her own health.
"You also said that the risk of catching meningitis is much higher and I'd actually prefer another possibility."
"I'll have to stop telling you about these things", Maura smirks. "And you usually don't catch meningitis. I probably have amebiasis. That's not too bad, if I keep hydrated."
"How do you know?"
"Because it can be treated easily with antibiotics and the only danger is the severe diarrhea."
"Maura!" Jane wrinkles her nose in disgust. "I meant, how do you know you've got... that."
There is a pause before the doctor admits, "I've been drinking unfiltered water at the hospital."
"Why would you do that!?" It comes out more accusing than Jane intended. She steps closer to her friend, trying to let her know, how much she really cares, how this is all about... caring, is it not?
Maura shrugs. "Everyone else does."
"Wow", Jane exhales, smiling genuinely.
"What?" Maura asks, a little insecure nevertheless.
"I've never seen you as everyone else", the detective smirks. "Are by any chance all of them sick now?"
"Not everyone's stomach reacts to amebas."
"Which makes you special again, congratulations", Jane chuckles sarcastically. "Didn't you learn from that experience?"
"I never tried the water on my other trips", Maura mumbles in response.
Somehow this last statement makes Jane's smile disappear. Carefully she asks, "so, what makes you more adventurous now?"
"I don't know", Maura whispers, eyes glued to the floor. "I guess, I... I just want to belong."
Jane waits a beat, then reaches out to gently push Maura's chin up. There are unshed tears in her friend's eyes, her lip is quivering. Jane wonders when things got so complicated. Why can they not just be open with each other and face whatever feelings are there to face. There is nothing she wants more than to ease Maura's pain, the loneliness this woman finds herself in again and again. She knows there is only one answer to her own reclusion as she pulls Maura into her arms.
"Me, too", she whispers into the other woman's hair.