All characters (except Emma Hhaze) belong to Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 9

I turned around to meet their stunned gazes. Jamie snapped out of it almost immediately coming forward to intertwine his fingers with mine. "You've got to talk to her. Say her name, remind her of things that will get her back, right Doc?"

"Yeah, yeah that usually works." He still looked slightly surprised but he came to stand next to me. "What's her name?"

"Serah." I told him.

"Okay, just talk to her and hopefully she'll recover soon but… I have to tell you not everyone wakes up."

I nodded, I knew this already as that was the reason Sunny was here, but if Serah didn't wake up there'd be no way we'd put this soul back in.

Jamie went to get food and I sat with Serah stroking back her hair and speaking to her softly.

"Serah. Serah wake up for me. Please." I was aware I sounded quite desperate and I hoped she could hear me.

"Do you remember that time mom went out and we snuck into our parent's room? Dad was busy downstairs so we tried on all of her clothes and shoes, and it was your great idea to put on all her makeup then try to give me a 'makeover'." I laughed, tears pricking my eyes at the memory of my lost family.

"Mom came home and she was so angry, we were bright orange and had smothered ourselves in lipstick and eye shadow. She was especially mad at you for putting it on me, I was only six, but we thought we looked amazing. There was even a picture of us dad put in the photo album. Do you remember Serah? Do you remember the picture?"

She remained motionless and I felt tears sting my eyes, I just wanted her to wake up and hug me like she did before she had a soul inserted in her. After that she treated me with fear until I ran away from my family of strangers.

"Here." Jamie's voice was soft as he passed me a tray with my lunch on.

"Thanks." I gave him a watery smile and tucked into my rice and carrots. There would be no more meat until they went on another raid but I noticed that there was another one of Wanda's tablets on my tray. We ate in silence but I kept flicking him glances catching him looking at me a few times and he looked away embarrassed at being caught.

"I have to go help on the fields but I'll be back later, I'll bring you dinner."

"Thanks Jamie." I watched him go sadly, missing his support.

I watched him leave and then I turned back to Serah, reminding her of the many ways we'd annoyed our parents as well as each other. I talked about our past and the present, Doc wasn't here so I told her about Jamie, and I talked about what the future would be like in the caves when she woke up, how she might hit it off with one of the men here. She was three years older than me so there wouldn't be a massive age difference with a few of them.

The hours passed quickly and before I knew it Jamie was back with dinner. I ate without really tasting, my desperation to wake Serah taking over my mind.

"Any luck?" Jamie had finished his dinner and was reclining on the cot I was sitting on.

I shook my head and tried to shake my hair in front of my face to hide my tears but it didn't work with chin length hair. He sat up and put an arm around my shoulders pulling me to him. I thought that maybe he kissed the top of my head but I wasn't sure.

"I just wish she'd wake up." I choked out.

"I hope she does, too." He didn't have to speak loud as I was pressed against him so our conversation was private. "I don't like to see you cry."

"Sorry." I said wiping my eyes and pulling away. I didn't mean to upset him I just couldn't help it.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that I just mean I want you to be happy." He tugged me back to him from where I sat rigidly on the edge of the cot. "It's almost dark, you gonna go to your room or stay here?"

"I'm gonna stay here." I didn't want to leave her in case she woke up.

"Ok, I can stay too if you want." He offered.

I considered it quickly, "Yes please," I kept my eyes down and quickly added, "if you don't mind that is. I understand if you'd rather be in your own bed."

He smiled at me and took my hand, "Of course I don't mind."

The cots were only made for one person so I lay on the one next to Serah and he lay on the next one closest to me. He fell asleep pretty quickly, I guess today had taken it out of him, so I watched him for a while.

He looked so peaceful and his face took on a younger quality when he was sleeping. I continued to watch him as sleep evaded me and smiled to myself later on in the night as he fell into a deeper slumber and stretched out, his arms and legs falling off the edges of the cot. I smiled at his soft snores and finally my eyes began to close, I was lulled to sleep by the sound of his breathing.

I woke in the morning to the feeling of my hair being swept back from my face and the smell of fresh bread. I opened my eyes blearily and looked up into Jamie's face, he was looking a bit worried.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I just wasn't sure whether to wake you, I should have let you sleep longer, you have circles under your eyes." He sat on the edge of my cot.

"It's fine. I can't sleep long anyway I have to wake her up." I looked over at Serah who was in exactly the same position as yesterday and sighed, I felt helpless. "Do you think she'll wake up?" I asked tentatively.

"It depends on how old she was when the soul was inserted and if she was aware of the invasion. People who are aware are usually more resistant, like Mel was."

"She was twelve… thirteen when I ran away, and I don't think she knew anything." I sighed and sat up putting my head in my hands once again. "Doesn't look good does it."

"Just keep trying that's all you can do." He said evasively, and handed me a bread roll and a box of orange juice.

I ate and drank absorbed in my thoughts, I was trying to think of other memories that might wake her but I couldn't pull up anything significant.

Jamie stayed sat next to me on the cot beside Serah's staying silent but running his fingers up and down my spine in a soothing motion, and when it would become too much he'd let me hide in his arms until I'd got myself back together. At lunch Wanda came to fetch him to help clean the mirrors in the plaza, offering me a small sad smile as she took in my sister.

I tried waking Serah again until Jamie came back with dinner a few hours later but I'd run out of things to say and she hadn't moved, there was no movement at all not even a twitch of an eyelid.

Jamie ate quickly but I left my tray abandoned at the end of the cot. Sitting against the wall with my knees pulling up to my chest. Jamie put his tray underneath mine then squeezed himself in next to me at the top of the cot.

"Emma…" Doc was standing at the foot of her bed. "She hasn't woken and… I know this is hard, but I need a decision. I need to know what you want me to do."

"What do you think is best?" I sobbed.

"At this stage… I think it's kinder to her body to overdose her with morphine than for her to suffer. It won't be long until she's starving." I knew he was right, I could already see her face was sunken, no one knew when she had last eaten.

I nodded in consent then sobbed harder. I couldn't believe this was real, I couldn't believe I'd just given him consent to kill my sister, but I didn't want her to suffer anymore.

Doc nodded and went over to his desk to get to morphine and I used that moment to get up and whisper my goodbyes in her ear. I kissed her gently on the forehead and picked up her hand.

I flinched as Doc started injecting the morphine into her and sobbed louder and louder until the room was filled with my cries. Jamie stood behind me with his hands on my waist trying to offer me some comfort. Eventually Doc finished injecting the morphine into her. I rambled over and over to her how sorry I was and I was already regretting not trying another day, but ten minutes later Doc announced her death and that was it. I'd lost my one last chance at gaining a part of my family back.

I let go of her hand and fell to my knees with a smack, I cradled my face in my hands and cried until I felt sick. I felt Jamie's arms go under my knees and back and then he was picking me up and carrying me out of the room away from my sister's body. I was crying more quietly now and by the time we got back to the sleeping quarters I was sobbing silently.

He carried me into Lily and Heidi's room and laid me in the sleeping bag, zipping it up securely.

"What happened?" I heard Lily's concern for me in her voice.

"Her sister was unresponsive… Doc had no choice." Jamie sighed, it sounded like he regretted the decision too.

I wailed in despair at the finality of it. Jamie stroked back the hair from my face but then had to leave me alone with Lily and Heidi.

I spent half an hour curled up on the floor in my sleeping bag before I heard Lily's quiet crying join mine. This must have been bringing up some painful memories for her too.

I couldn't stand the pain, it was like there was a hole in my chest and a poison in my stomach, everything hurt. All I could think about was my childhood with Serah before this whole thing had started. I felt like a murderer and I kept praying for her forgiveness. I hoped that wherever she was she understood why I had done it.

My chest felt tight and bile rose in my throat. I felt enclosed, claustrophobic, like a caged animal and I kicked my way out of my sleeping bag frantically, panicking when my feet got tangled in it. I dove out of the room and ran down the hall. I didn't know where to go and I stopped before I reached the tunnel. There was only one place I could go.

I rushed back up the hallway and ripped the bed sheet to the side as I ran into Jamie's room, gasping for breath and choking back my tears.

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