Chapter 10 - Coffee Cake and Questions

"What do I need to know about Carla Barroni?" Givens asked me, his eyes boring into mine across the hood of the Town Car. "You said she's your mama's friend so I'm guessing you might know something useful."

My mother. Oh shit. If we went to see Carla and asked her about Jimmy Bravo, my mother was going to be furious. "I bet my mother could tell you all sorts of things."

His mouth curved upwards and his eyes sparkled. "You want me to question her? Like I just questioned Bucky? You sure about that?"

"No!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure you can ask nicely, right? Maybe bring her a coffee cake to soften her up."

"I'm not in the habit of bringin' coffee cake to people I'm questioning."

"That's Kentucky," I emphasized Kentucky with as much Jersey disdain as I could, filling those three syllables with the insinuation that our landfills were classier than his entire home state. "You're in Jersey now, country mouse."

Givens' eyes went wide and then he threw back his head and laughed. "You're on your way to redemption, Junior Marshal Plum. Take me to the bakery and let's go talk to your mama."

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My mother was ironing in the kitchen when we arrived. That wasn't a good sign. Some people exercised to burn off feelings of stress and frustration. Others drank. My mother ironed. The house was completely quiet and it didn't take a rocket scientist to guess that my grandmother and father had a fight that ended in both storming out.

She looked up, saw Givens holding the cake box and sucked in air. "Ohmigod. It's true. You're pregnant. I'll see if we can get the PNA Hall. Do we have enough time for pre-Cana so you can have a church wedding?"

"I'm not pregnant!" I grabbed onto the kitchen table to steady myself. "And if I was, it wouldn't be Raylan's. What in the world gave you that idea?"

"People are talking," my mother said, with a shrug.

"What people?" And then it dawned on me. Joyce Barnhardt. She couldn't handle being humiliated by Givens and me while she was in Kentucky and made up a vicious rumor. Typical Joyce. I was going to get even. "Never mind. I know who started the rumor."

"Just so you know, I wouldn't mind having Raylan for a son-in-law," my mother told me. "He has very nice manners."

Givens flashed her an aw-shucks grin. "Thank you, ma'am."

Show-off. "What about Joe?"

"Has he given you ring yet?"

"Not exactly."

"Then you can see this nice young man, too. It's not a sin," she declared.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mrs. Plum," Givens said, gently. "I'm involved with a wonderful woman back in Kentucky and we're the ones who are expectin'. I'm fond of Stephanie, though. She's like the kid sister I never had."

Kid sister? Who made cow eyes at their kid sister? Inbred Southerners, that's who. I'd make sure to bring that up if he started in on that redemption crap again.

"I'd like to have a word with you about somethin' else." He took off his hat and set it on the kitchen counter, playing the polite Southern gentleman role to the hilt.

My mother switched off the iron and immediately swung into hostess mode. "How do you take your coffee, Raylan?"

"Black, please, ma'am." While my mother's back was turned, he glanced at me and grinned. I wondered if he figured out who started the rumor and if he'd join me in getting even. Maybe I could convince him getting even was an important Jersey custom.

She set a steaming mug in front of him and cut him a generous slice of coffee cake. There was a slightly wistful look in her eyes, like he was a missed once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Dear God, was there any woman Givens couldn't charm? My mother sat across from him and I could tell she was biting back a sigh. "What did you want to talk about?"

Givens looked over at me but I kept my eyes on my coffee cake. He was on his own. I was the one who was going to have to suffer through family dinners for the rest of my life where this interrogation would be brought up again and again until it would sounded like my mother had been handcuffed and sweated under a bare light bulb.

"Well, ma'am," he said slowly, "my investigation is takin' some unexpected turns. One of the people I need to speak with is Carla Barroni and Stephanie thought you might have some useful insight to share."

My mother's gaze snapped in my direction and it was anything but wistful. It was more like the dragon lady on steroids. Gossip was a sacred thing in the Burg. You could share secrets all day long about the most intimate details of people you barely knew with your friends but it was wrong to discuss them with a stranger. Charming as he was, Givens was a stranger. Probably, he shouldn't have told my mother he wasn't interested in me.

"I know she's your friend and I wouldn't want you to betray her confidence," Givens continued smoothly. "The thing is, Carla might be mixed up with some very dangerous people from Detroit."

My mother made the sign of the cross. "Because of the Toyota dealership?" She turned to me. "You see? This is why your father always says buy American."

"Did she ever mention Jimmy Bravo to you?" Givens asked. His tone was soft, gentle. It was the exact opposite of the way he'd spoken to Bucky. I wondered if he majored in psychology in college or if he just had a gift for how to get people to talk. My usual tactic was pissing them off until they blurted out something useful.

My mother leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially. "It's the change. Her doctor put her on hormones. Carla was like a sex-crazed teenager after that. She even had plastic surgery."

Face lifts were for the vain freaks living in Princeton. The rest of Jersey earned their wrinkles and saggy boobs the hard way and wore them with pride.

Givens nodded sympathetically. "And Jimmy?"

"She said," my mother crossed herself again, "he was a machine. Can you believe it? A woman of her age carrying on with a boy young enough to be her son. She was always a little wild but she ran around with him to the night clubs and trips to Atlantic City."

"What did Bobby think of all this?" Givens asked.

"Bobby cheated on her before the ink on their marriage certificate was dry." She turned to me and gave me a loaded look that said I'd married someone exactly like him. "I think he was glad she was out of the house."

"This is a really sensitive question," he said, "but I wouldn't be askin' if it weren't important. Did Carla ever mention experimenting with OxyContin?"

My mother nodded. "Her plastic surgeon gave her some after her face lift. She said it was great for the hot flashes." Her voice dropped. "I tried one and ended up burning my meatloaf. It was the first time we ordered Chinese in over a decade. I'll stick to bourbon, thank you."

Holy crap. Did my mother just tell Givens she took a medicinal tipple every now and again?

He flashed her a broad smile. "Nothin' like good Kentucky bourbon to lighten the load."

"Would you like another piece of coffee cake?"

A second piece of cake was unheard of in my house. I looked hard at my mother to make sure she wasn't making cow eyes at Givens. The man was a menace.

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"That chicken she's makin' for supper sounds delicious," Givens said as we walked back to the car. "Chocolate cake, too."

I knew trying to convince him to have dinner elsewhere wasn't going to work. My mother invited him and unless we were in the middle of a World War III scale gunfight, we had to be there on time. Or else. I decided to change the subject. "You know it was Joyce who started the rumor."

"I didn't think it was Ranger or Hal," he chuckled.

He thought it was funny? Really? Sure, he wasn't the one who was fictitiously knocked up and whose reputation was being slandered. "I'm getting even. I'm not sure how yet, but it's going to be even better than the time Carol Zabo and her friends tied Joyce naked to a tree by the pet cemetery in Hamilton Township."

Givens smiled. "You want some help with this little endeavor?"

"I thought you'd never ask."