Though it was dangerous, considering he only had one eye, and was driving, Xander risked a glance at Dawn in the passenger's seat. She was asleep, or at least, appeared to be. Her eyes were closed and her light brown hair fell softly across her face and chest. The lights from the Italian streets mixed with the moon to cast an angelic glow on her face.

Thankfully, traffic was light.

"Zoinks!" Xander yelled as he swerved back into his lane, narrowly missing the next car's side mirror and issuing a fury of honks.

What was he doing?

Dawn stirred beside him.

"Cat," he muttered quietly.

She yawned and looked around. Xander kept his hands firmly at the 10 and 2 position and looked straight forward.

"What's up, Xand? You look pretty focused there," Dawn laughed.

"Huh? Oh, just practicing safe driving, Dawnie. You can never be too safe, Dawnie. Especially when you have passengers in the car, Dawnie."

"Xander, first of all, I'm 18 now. No longer a little kid. Officially an adult. You can drop the –ie part all the time and just say 'Dawn' now."

Xander kept his gaze ahead.

"I'm more than Buffy's kid sister, you know," she continued. "And I don't need protecting from her, you, or anyone else."

Xander sighed. "I'm sorry—Dawn —these things, I know. It's just a force of habit that some monks implanted in my brain three years ago."

He could feel Dawn's glare. "Too soon?" he said softly.

Dawn smiled. "For anyone but you, yes."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Xander said, "Hey, it's early—as in we have to report for duty in a couple hours. You want to get some coffee?"

"That…sounds great," Dawn said cheerily.

Xander pulled off the road and turned down a different street to find a 24-hour coffee shop.

They sat on opposite sides of a squishy and sticky booth and sipped in silence.

"Xander," Dawn finally said tentatively. "Can I ask you something?"

For some reason he couldn't explain, he felt his heart thud in his ears. "Sure, Dawn. Anything."

Dawn licked her lips. "Do you ever think about Anya?"

Well. Xander thought for a moment.

"I'm sorry. That was a dumb question," she started to apologize.

"Every damn day," he replied. "It's been a year and I think about her when I wake up and go to sleep."

Xander looked down at his hands encircling his coffee cup.

"Me, too," Dawn whispered. "Tara, Mom, Spike, Buffy—all of them. Sometimes I just can't get over that this is what my life is: watching the people I love die for no reason."

Now Dawn looked down.

Xander looked at her face that was still so young.

She should have been in college, partying, cramming for tests, doing things he didn't want to think about. She should have been socializing with people other than Andrew. She shouldn't have been in a booth in some shady diner in Italy in the middle of the night with him mourning the loss of their loved ones. She should have had a different life.

They all should have.

But Xander decided a long time ago that he wouldn't trade their daily Hellmouth for anything.

"But they did, Dawn." As he said this, he grabbed her hand and felt a shock.

Dawn looked up at him with watery eyes and smiled slightly.

"There's my girl."

Dawn wiped her eyes and cleared her throat.

"So, uh, can I just say I dusted a vamp earlier," Dawn finally said. "All on my own! I even punned!"

Xander beamed. "Buffy would be proud."

Dawn smiled.

Suddenly, they were talking about nothing and everything, Xander joking and Dawn laughing.

It fell silent again and they both looked down at Xander's hand on Dawn's. He realized belatedly his thumb had been tracing circles on hers.

Xander cleared his throat loudly as he withdrew his hand.

"Don't," Dawn breathed.

Xander thought he could feel his heart stop. A million things went through his head, none of them saying he didn't agree with Dawn. He wanted to keep his hand there, too. The connection with Dawn had been different. It was the first time he had really felt something since-.

"Dawn, you're Buffy's sister."

As soon as he said it, he regretted it.

Her eyes filled with tears again as she put on her jacket. "It's time to get back, Xander."

"Dawn. Dawn." He sighed, exasperated.

"Dawnie," he finally said in desperation.

She glared at him.

"Don't. Call me. Dawnie."

Now he'd really done it.

They rode home in silence as Xander wondered why he was always such an idiot.