Chapter 10

This was happening. This was fucking happening. Derek was finally getting a chance to know what was going on in Stiles head. After losing everything about him – smell, lying, speaking, it was all Derek wanted. This and to touch him and do some other things.

When he just glanced over the whole assignment, he noticed that Stiles wrote a lot more than he did. He wasn't sure what to think about that. In the back of his mind he had some ideas but, there was not enough time for that shit. It was time to grow some balls and read the assignment.

One. When somebody you know comes to you. And without a warning hugs you, what do you do?

"Hug back."

Classic Stiles, Derek snorted. He thought back at his own answer and was sure that things would be different is Stiles would hug him. He isn't really into hugs, but maybe for once he would, for Stiles. He started to hate his lovey-dovey feelings he had for Stiles. It was making him be out of character. He cleared his throat and moved on.

Two. If your partner dies (not because of you), how would you feel. Be specific.

"If Derek dies, I wouldn't know what to do or say. I would cry. I would be sad, angry. I would probably have panic attacks again, things will turn to shit. Usually when something bad happens I fake it at first, say that I'm fine but... if Derek dies, I would fall apart... Immediately."

Derek was genuinely surprised what kind of an impact his death would be on Stiles. He did not like it. Panic attacks? Again? Also the confession, how Stiles handles hard situations, really made him think and recall every time he heard Stiles say "I'm fine."

Finally, when he got over the sad, angry, crying part, he noticed that they are quite similar. Their answers are pretty much the same. They would both fall apart. Only thing different is the way they feel about each other. Derek wasn't stupid, clearly their kisses have had an effect on Stiles. Stiles wouldn't react to his death like that if it wasn't so. But for Stiles it is just attraction, it has to be. And he was actually feeling kind of smug about it.

Three. If your partner dies (because of you), how would you feel. Be specific.

"Look at the last response and add shit load of guilt to it. I mean like can't sleep or eat ever again guilt. I would probably do something stupid."

What the fuck does he mean by doing something stupid? Derek was furious. Stiles can't write something like that and then not explain. Didn't he read the fucking question? It said be specific. This wasn't specific. This was vague as shit. That fucker, it's not like he can go and ask him about it. Fuck it, yes he can. He made a mental note about it, to bring it up when the moment was right. Or the next moment he saw him.

Four. What do you feel when your partner touches you.

"I am instantly aroused and want to hump him. I feel warm, safe and wanted."

Derek was instantly aroused reading the first sentence. It was satisfying to read something like that, he even closed his eyes and imagined Stiles say it. Almost impossible. The way Stiles wrote about him, really proved his thoughts, about Stiles liking what he sees. He is just aroused, like Stiles said. It was hard to convince Derek to think anything more.

But what threw him off was the last part. His touch made Stiles feel warm, safe and wanted. This was something else. That shit was serious, meaningful. He had to remember himself that Stiles told the truth. That Stiles really meant what he wrote. But he had problems with that as well. Derek had an internal battle, every emotion on fire.

Derek's main problem was that he was making Stiles want something, that he doesn't really want. Derek knows what he wants, he figured it out while camping, but Stiles should make up his own mind. He was blindsided by Derek and his lips. Stiles said it himself... in a way. Right? Derek hesitated. What kind of a problem is that any way? Clearly Derek was running out of good reasons to keep himself away from Stiles.

Derek read again „I feel warm, safe and wanted." After that his decision came quickly. Fuck his petty reasons. He will stay clear, but if Stiles makes a move he is all in. Not like his desperate for it, because he is, but just enough to make Stiles see it that he was in. The more Derek thought about it, the more he liked the idea. All he needed is some confirmation from coming answers.

Five. If you can choose, who would die: you or your partner. Please be honest. Imagine someone holding a gun at your partner, would you really jump in front of the bullet or would you hesitate?

"What the hell? Yes! I would jump without thinking."

What the fuck? No! Does he have a fucking death wish? That insane motherfucker, ready to save the world for everything. Derek hated how Stiles didn't value his life at all. This was a problem that needed some discussion. Or him yelling at Stiles until he gets it. What ever it takes. Again making a mental note and moving on.

Six. What you love/like about your partner. Be specific.

"Where do I begin... Before anything else it is crazy, how hot Derek is. There have been times when just looking at him... There have been times when I just stare. Not normal I know, but when you have a partner like Derek it is mandatory. I love it how stubborn and certain Derek is in every fucking thing."

Derek stopped reading for a moment. He closed his eyes, hand moving over his eyes. „Fuck me, this is actually happening." He sounded out of breath, but the corner of his lips were turning up.

„He is so confident and thinks he knows everything. I enjoy shaking his confidence every once in a while and see how well he can build himself up again. It's amazing."

Derek raised an eyebrow „Really? We'll see about that."

„The best part is that this is not really him, I know what he is really like and I love both."

That changed Derek's mood instantly. This could be a problem. Stiles knows him pretty well, but maybe he is hoping that this angry thing is only just that – a thing, not real. Derek has always been like that, that's who he is. He gets outraged and overflows with pure rage and self-confidence. He wasn't sure if Stiles noticed that, or has accepted that. Even if he smiles and relaxes, it doesn't mean that this is who he really is.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, he forgot that for now and moved on.

"I love it how he sets his mind on something and he puts everything in. I love how he makes me feel safe. I know that I'm good when he is around. I love when he laughs, it's rare and that's why it's so good. It's meaningful. Also, he doesn't talk much. I love it. When he says something it's important, not when he's angry... Speaking of that. They way he loses it when I annoy him. Fucking priceless."

Derek was fixed behind the laptop, looking at the words, then reading the whole answer again. „That sneaky shit." So much for being absolutely pissed off at me. After re-reading it he breathed out a shaky breath. Realization finally kicking in.

Stiles likes me. He fucking wants me. This is not possible! How am I getting everything what I want so easily? Derek was amazed. This is possible. No! This is already happening. Derek didn't even notice how he was grinning like an idiot. His heart filling with warmth and satisfaction. Like he did with the sun this morning, he just let himself enjoy the moment.

Second later he didn't believe it anymore, he read the assignment for the fourth time and smiled again. Okay his back to believing it again. He was holding himself back. It was hard for him to believe how much Stiles likes him. Stiles has noticed and found his own little things about Derek. The fact that Stiles notices and stares him is already sending shivers to his back.

His thoughts kept ending with a sentence - Stiles wants me. Nothing better than that.

He stopped at the last question again.

Seven. Would it be okay if your partner reads your answers.

"Oh hell no. He knows I love him, no need to see how much or how."

Derek frowned "What?" He read it again "I do?" He was more than sure Stiles didn't really mean love, but he woldn't say that he lied either.

Derek stood, determined to do something. Before he headed to the door he came back to this laptop. Having trouble believing what he read. His eyes moved through the answers reading the best parts again until he was sure it was really true. He could't stop reading.

Finally Derek thought about Stiles, who was at home, reading his answers. He can go. He can just go to Stiles and kiss him, no intro or explanation. Just go there and kiss him. With that realization, he was out of the door.

„What's up man?" Isaac said picking up his phone in the kitchen.

„We have a problem." Scott answered at the other end.

„What now?" Isaac groaned getting annoyed.

„Deaton called and said that he got some calls about a weird dead animal in the woods."

„Let me guess... „

„Yeah, it's a dead body."

„Fuck."

„Yeah, I'm going to call Stiles and head over there. Can you tell Derek?"

„Sure.." Isaac looked at Derek's bedroom door and saw Derek almost run out of it. He ended the call. „Hey Derek!"

He didn't stop or acknowledge Isaac.

„Derek!"

„Can't stay. Have to see Stiles." He walked past Isaac and left the apartment.

Isaac had to ran after him „Derek wait!"

„No."

Isaac rolled his eyes „We have a body in the woods." he yelled hoping that this will stop him and it did.

Derek thought about it for a second and turned to Isaac „Tomorrow" and moved away again.

Isaac didn't bother to follow Derek, he just stood and continued, knowing Derek he will hear at least some of it „Deaton called Scott and he called me and he will call Stiles. We meet there."

Derek was suddenly back. „And who the fuck gave those stupid orders?"

„You did. Let me get my stuff and then lets go."

Derek remember he wanted to meet at the next dead body – if it should happen – to get more info or something, but he didn't get why. It seemed like a waste of time now. Especially when he had other plans. But Stiles was going to be there. The only reason why he is not ordering everybody back to their homes.

The body was so fucking gross, it didn't look like a body anymore, bits and pieces all over the place and it wasn't even the worst thing. The worst was the smell. When they got there Derek and Isaac were already there. Scott commented how awful the smell is and about something else. Stiles wasn't paying attention because all his focus was on Derek. What should he do? Run into his arms? Push him against the tree and kiss him? But Scott and Isaac were here. This situation will turn to shit.

They walked over to the two of them and the moment Derek's eyes moved to Stiles he hid his gaze and moved to the body, like he was super interested. Stupid move Stilinski, he told himself and regretted his reaction so much, his face started to go red in embarrassment. Luckily it was a normal reaction to have, when seeing an actual pool of guts and blood. Disgusting.

They looked around, inspected the body and discussed some theories, they all knew it was Dr. Linda, but tried to rule her out because the body was way more destroyed. In all that time Derek and Stiles had played this weird game of look-don't look. Derek held a strong gaze at Stiles every single time he could and when it didn't seem too weird. Stiles avoided it, he wanted Isaac and Scott to leave so he can react properly, but right now he was too anxious and embarrassed to act human.

Couple of minutes later Scott moved away to talk to Isaac and now they had a chance. Their eyes caught each other and now they weren't looking away. This was it, they were going to talk. Well, they had to now because, they looked at each other too long. Derek took the first step, and they walked towards each other.

They didn't stand very close and that threw them both off. Stiles looked away nervously, like he wanted to leave and Derek was re-questioning everything.

„So ..." Stiles died in awkwardness.

„About the.." Derek stopped and changed his words at the last second „I didn't tell the truth and from your answers I can say that so didn't you."

„What?" Stiles did not expect that, not after the things he read. Or Derek must have read.

„You heard me." Derek wanted to escape this horrible situation he got himself into, but Stiles walked back in front of him.

„Don't you fucking dare ruin this." Stiles didn't get where was this coming from.

„What? You started this. I was trying to make things easier for you."

„By lying?"

He hissed back silently „You were avoiding me, I got the hint that you don't want to talk about it?

Stiles was baffled „Wh..."

Derek cut him off „And why would I want to ruin this?"

"Ruin what?" Scott got up all in their space.

"Fuck off Scott." Stiles said without looking at him.

"Jesus, what got into your pants?"

"Fuck OFF Scott" Derek repeated.

"But the body? Or the pool of crap to be exact." He looked at it again and made a face.

Derek touched the bridge of his nose for a second and sighed slowly. "Fine." he told Scott and then turned to Stiles "This is not over."

"Oh, if you say so, it must be true." Stiles mocked him.

Derek glared, almost barking back something at him but instead turned to Scott "Go to my apartment, Isaac and I'll clean up."

"Okay." Scott nodded and motioned Stiles to follow.

Stiles gave Derek one last glare before he followed Scott.

When they were gone, he looked at the body. It was a little too light outside to carry body parts or in this case buckets of blood and gut. They decided to dig a grave a little further, and then drop the remaining parts in the so called grave. Isaac covered the gruesome sight with branches and leaves, it didn't help much, but at least he didn't have to see it so much.

They were digging the hole, when Isaac turned to him "Why do you have two shovels in the back of the car?"

"Why do you think?" Derek glared a second because of his dumb question.
"Yeah bodies I get that, but why two?"

"What do you mean?"

Isaac kept digging, knowing that Derek got it just didn't want to answer.

A while later he answered "I have a pack. A strong one that helps me."

"Okay." Isaac nodded, ready to move on to the real question. "What's up with Stiles?"

"I fucking knew it." Derek stopped his digging to look at Isaac. "You, making stupid almost meaningful small talk and then BOOM a question about Stiles."

Isaac laughed at the outburst. "Answer the question."

"I don't have to answer shit."

"Come on, Derek."

"What do you mean, what's up with him. A lot is going on." Derek sighed.

Isaac raised his eyebrows, something was up, but he kept to his original question. "Why couldn't I smell him?"

"Yeah, that's a thing." Derek didn't continue.

Isaac was frustrated "I seriously don't get what Stiles sees in you. Conversation with you could last for hours without results? How are you still alive?"

"You think insulting me will get you any further?"

"Derek, just tell me. I've never encountered something like that. It's weird."

"It's maddening."

"Is this been happening to you the whole time? Is that why you.."

"Can you think all of this in your head and not say it out loud?" Derek threw the shovel down. "I'll get the body." Like it was possible to do alone. He didn't want to discuss it with Isaac, he wanted to do it with Stiles. But right now it didn't seem like a good time. He wasn't sure if it ever was and that killed his mood completely.

They were back at the house, Allison and Scott were on the couch, in deep conversation about the murder. Stiles was in the kitchen, so when Derek stepped in, he left his jacket on a chair and headed straight there.

"Hey!" Stiles said with a shaky voice.

Derek nodded and moved to the sink to wash his hands "No insults? Snarky comments?"

"Really? Coming in with an attitude?" Stiles got defensive, but kept his voice low because of Scott.

„Like I'm the one with attitude problems." Derek dried his hands and turned to Stiles, his voice also low.

„Yeah you are, want me to give you one of the hundreds of examples?."

„Fine I'll take attitude, if you take acting like a fucking five year old."

Stiles could only snort at that when Derek was already mocking him.

„You're saying that it wasn't you, who decided stop talking to me?"

„Eat shit and die." Stiles bite back.

„Fuck you." Derek responded quickly.

They then stood there, finally empty of insults and other words. They looked at each other, and they started to relax. Breathing turned to normal, eyes turned softer and bodies started to sway a little closer. Finally it was Stiles who sighed first.

"I don't get why this is happening." Stiles said honestly, looking down for a second.

Derek sighed "Me either. Something's wrong. Let's just..." He moved closer, not sure what he wanted to do, or what he could do. Touch him? Take him to his room? He didn't have any time to think more, because Deaton was barging in. "Derek?" he called. Deaton saw Derek's back and moved towards him.

Derek looked into Stiles eyes, he was annoyed. Derek was outraged. Not at Stiles, but at this situation and Deaton. Fucking bad timing. Derek gave on meaningful glance to Stiles, stepped back and went to talk to Deaton.

Stiles didn't get what was happening at all. Where the fuck was his romantic moment? The moment they see each other and everything falls into place. They kiss and live happily ever after... Was this really only in the movies?

Stiles even imagined how Derek would drive his car insanely fast, stop near him, get out of his car. His look confident and full of determination. He would walk over to him, and with every step the anticipation growing, his arousal mixing with his. Then the epic kiss that makes everything stop for a second. Or how he sees him from a far and their eyes lock. He just walks to Derek and kisses him passionately.

Stiles sighed sadly, and then sadness quickly turning into anger again. Where the fuck was his epic kiss with Derek?