Chapter 5 Part 1

"How do I look?" Anya screeched excitedly. When the gaggle of women did not turn their heads quick enough, Anya yelled, "Excuse me, everyone. Look at me!"

Willow, Tara, and Buffy all paused in their various stages of undress and looked directly at Anya, the blushing bride. Even though their own emerald green get-ups were last than appealing, Anya looked stunning.

Willow was the first to speak, "You look beautiful, Ahn."

Anya smiled vibrantly and nodded her thanks, turning her attention to the other two girls. "And you guys? What do you guys think? Don't I look magnificent?"

Tara held back a giggle as she shared a look with Willow, nodding her agreement. Buffy smiled at classic Anya and agreed. "You do, Anya. You look gorgeous."

Anya nodded, as if she knew this all along, which she probably did. "You all look good as well. I have to say, I did a great job picking out these dresses."

This time the girls remained silent, sharing a look as they persisted with what they were doing before Anya's abrupt entrance. Anya plopped down on the couch of the dressing room and began rambling as the girls continued doing their make-up and hair.

"I can't believe the day is here. I can't believe I am going to be Mrs. Xander Harris in just another hour." She broke off her sentence with the happiest laughter Buffy had ever heard.

Buffy couldn't help but smile. Things had been tough the last couple of months. Although she initially felt that Xander and Anya were rushing, getting married so soon upon getting engaged, she couldn't help but take advantage of the happy reprieve from the stress of her life. School was going well, and Willow had improved dramatically. She went to weekly counseling sessions, as well as meetings with other addicts. Even more surprising, was the fact that Willow and Tara had announced their relationship just a few weeks ago.

Buffy had been shocked to say the least, but there had been signs. She laughed a little at the fact that Spike had not been surprised at all. He always seems to notice the things that the rest of them seemed oblivious to. He never ceased to amaze her. In fact, their relationship was going amazingly. They had never been closer, and he was currently her life raft, keeping her afloat in the presence of all the anxiety of the last three months.

After her mom's diagnosis, Buffy's life had been in shambles. Hell, all of their lives had been. The night that Xander and Anya announced their engagement, Giles had called Buffy, frantic. Apparently, her mother had a massive seizure and was rushed to the emergency room. After a CT and an MRI, the doctors concluded that she had a brain tumor.

At first Buffy couldn't believe that it was true, so she focused on comforting her step-father and sister, while Spike had focused on keeping her intact. Once her mother had started treatment though, she was faced with the fact that her mother indeed had a serious condition. Seeing her mother physically falling apart, caused Buffy to do the same mentally. All the while, Spike had been there, to hold her when she cried, to listen to her when she needed to vent. He was always there, and without him, she didn't think she would be able to hold it together.

Speaking of her mother, she was supposed to be here with them getting ready. Glancing at the clock on the wall, Buffy frowned as she realized that she hadn't seen her mother for over an hour now. Looking back at her reflection, Buffy finished pinning the hair around her head.

"Ok, girls, I'm going to go find, Mom."

Anya jumped up. "Ok, Buffy, but don't be late. We will not wait for you!"

Buffy rolled her eyes, but nodded at Anya before walking out of the room in search of her mother.

"You look great, mate." Spike said as he tightened Xander's bow tie.

Xander swallowed visibly before turning away from his friend and mumbling his thanks. Spike watched him suspiciously. In the months since their talk, Xander had actually seemed to turn around about the idea of marrying Anya. He had seemed to begin to actually want to marry the girl, going as far as helping her plan the wedding…when she allowed it. Now on the other hand, he looked like he was ready to jump right out of his skin.

Spike sauntered towards his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You ok, Whelp?"

"I…um, well…you're going to laugh."

"Eh', I wouldn't do such a thing! Out with it."

Xander continued to stare out of the window as he spoke. "I had a dream last night, a really vivid dream." Xander visibly shuddered. "It was years from now, in an old, run-down trailer. I was married to Anya, and I was a complete loser. I did nothing but sit on the couch, watching tv, and drinking beer, while Anya raised our kids and tried to look after the house. We did nothing but bicker. Our kids grew up to hate me, and to cap it all off, I ended up killing her in a fit of rage."

Xander finally turned to meet Spikes eyes. Spike was shocked to see the tears welling up in his friend's eyes.

"Some dream, huh?" Xander sniffed.

"Yeah, mate. That's quite the dream you had there, but that's all it was, a dream."

"It could happen, Spike. I saw the same thing every day in my home, watching my folks fight and my dad scream at me. That dream feels like a sign of what's to come."

Spike laughed at his friend's rationale. "So now you're having prophetic dreams, huh?"

"This is serious, man. I don't know if I can do this."

Spike got serious very quickly. They had come too far for Xander to chicken out now. He knew his friend loved the bird, and he had even begun to believe that he wanted to be her husband. For those reasons, he knew that this reaction was one based on fear, and he'd be damned if he let his friend possibly ruin his life because he was scared.

"Xander, listen to me. You love Anya, and she loves you. You are happy together. This wedding is just a tiny piece of paper. That is all it is changing. You're not going to magically stop being Xander."

Xander looked away, tears beginning to betray him as they fell carelessly from his wide brown eyes. "I don't know, man. I don't know."

"There you are! Mom, I've been looking all over for you." Buffy chirped happily, as she lifted her poofy green dress and strolled out onto the patio of the church.

When Joyce remained silent, Buffy sighed and sat next to her mother. "What's wrong, mom?"

Joyce didn't even look at her, she just continued to look out at the garden, as if she was absorbing every small detail.

"Are you ok? Do I need to get Giles?" Buffy asked her voice rising in her worry.

Joyce simply waved Buffy off and whispered. "No…no. None of that. I'm fine."

Buffy placed a gentle hand on her mothers and squeezed. "It really doesn't seem like it, Mom."

Joyce finally turned wet eyes at her daughter. Despite the paleness of her skin and the pastel green scarf, wrapped tightly around her head to hide the thinning hair, Buffy thought her mother looked beautiful.

"I…I was just realizing that I probably won't get to see you walk down the aisle…or Dawn."

Buffy's heart clenched at her mother's words. While the rational part of her mind knew this could very likely be the case, every other cell in her body refused to believe that it was true.

"That's not true, mom. You can't think that way. It's not good for any of us, especially you."

When her mother didn't reply, Buffy persisted. "Close your eyes, Mom."

Her mother shook her head at her daughters silliness, but Buffy could not be ignored. "Please, mom."

With a sigh, Joyce close her eyes tightly and Buffy began. "I can see it now. I'll be in tears in the dressing room as you pin Memaws' broach to my ivory dress. You and Dawn will pull me into a fierce hug before I walk down the aisle alongside you and Giles. I can imagine the smile on your face when you give me over to Spike and your laughter as we dance wildly at the reception." Buffy wiped at the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes as she continued. " I can see you in tears as you hold my first child and all the presents you and Giles will buy for the kid during their first Christmas. I can see it all, Mom, when I close my eyes. Can't you?"

The tears were flowing freely down Joyce's face now and she pulled her daughter into a tight hug. "I love you, Buffy."

Buffy squeezed her eyes, to control her own tears, and whispered, "I love you too, Mom."

After Buffy had walked her mom to her seat next to Giles, in the front pew, she decided to check on the groom before she made it back to see Anya and the girls. She knocked hesitantly at the large oak door before turning the knob and opening the door just a smudge.

"Oh Mr. About-to-get-married, it's your good friend the Buffster coming to see how you're doing?"

When she didn't get a response she peaked inside only to see a lonesome Spike sitting with his head in his hands. Uh Oh.

"Spike? What's wrong? Where's Xander?"

Buffy moved slowly towards her boyfriend, mind empty of everything else but the feelings she felt coming off of Spike. When she was close enough to touch him, she reached a hand out and placed it on his shoulder.

"Spike?"

When he looked up she frowned at the dejection she saw in his eyes. "He's gone."

She scrunched her eyebrows, confused at his words. "Real funny. You're right here Spike. Now where's Xander?"

His laughing response held no joy. "He's gone, pet. Xander's gone."

The air was knocked out of her by his admission and she placed a hand over her heart as she fell into the seat next to Spike.

"Gone? He'll be back in time for the-"

"No, love. He said he can't do it and took off. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't force the bloke to stay. I had a feeling this was coming, but he could at least handle it like a man and face the girl who's heart he is about to shatter."

"Oh no….poor Anya."

Hearing the despair in her voice, Spike wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

Buffy stood just outside the bride's dressing room door thinking about how she should best handle this. God damn Xander and his childish antics. This should be his job. Before she left Spike, he vowed to find 'the git', and now she was standing mere feet from the soon to be gilted bride and she just couldn't figure out what to say.

She couldn't lie to her. She was supposed to be walking down the aisle in minute. Maybe she could get some help from Willow and Tara.

Opening the door, she carefully avoided Anya's gaze, staring only at her two friends across the room. "Willow, Tara, can you guys come here real quick."

She could see Anya frown through her peripherals and tried to act normal. Willow and Tara just gazed at her, confused at her motives. "Quickly, please."

Turning quickly towards Anya, but still not making eye contact, she mumbled, "Everything's fine, Ahn. Just need to talk about a few bridesmaids things with the girls." She flashed Anya a shaky smile as she led the other two girls form the room, closing the door softly behind them.

"What's going on, Buffy?"

Looking at her two concerned friends, Buffy whispered. "He's gone. Xander's disappeared."

"What?" Willow screamed, as Tara whispered , "O-Oh no."

"Spike's out looking for him, but it doesn't look good. "

Tara look dejectedly at the ground and Willow bit her lip anxiously. "I can't believe Xander would take off like this."

The door flew open and a panicked Anya stared at the three. "Xander's gone! What do you mean Xander's gone?"

"Calm down, Anya. Spike is out looking for him now. Maybe he just…" Buffy cut Willow off, unwilling to string the girl she has come to see as a friend, albeit an annoying one, along.

"Anya, Xander is being a coward. I don't know his reasons, but he is missing."

"No…"

Buffy pulled Anya into a tight hug, feeling for the girl who was now in tears.

"Anya." All four heads shoot up as they peered out Spike roughly holding the arm of a withdrawn Xander.

"Xander! Thank god! I knew they had to be wrong." Anya ran towards him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I know it's bad luck to see me before the wedding, but I'm just so happy to see you at all." She touched his cheek gently with her hand, smiling softly at the man she wanted so desperately to marry.

Xander smiled weakly back and closed his eyes against the emotions that roiled within him. He opened his mouth to talk but Anya cut him off. "It doesn't matter why you left, Xander. It's ok now. Let's go get married."

Squeezing his eyes tight, Xander muttered, "I can't."

Anya pulled away from him with wide eyes. "W-What?"

"I'm sorry, Ahn, but I can't. I'm not ready."

"Not ready? Why now? We have been planning for so long. Why now are you not ready? Is it me? What is it about me that you hate, Xander? I'll change it."

"It's not you I hate. I've had worries before this. Maybe we went too fast-"

"No! You're just shaken up. We can wait a few minutes. Take some time to calm down. We'll start over in a little bit, Okay?"

Tears were falling freely down Anya's face now and Xander's heart ached at the sight.

"We can't, Ahn. If this is a mistake, it's forever. And I don't want to hurt you…"

Anya looked down at the ground, her whole body shaking with sobs, as Xander released her hands and turned away from them all.

It had only been a few weeks since the almost wedding, and Buffy had yet to see either Anya or Xander. Xander left a note stating he was taking some time to himself and would be staying at his Uncle's in L.A. Anya on the other hand had just about disappeared. The had all taken turns knocking on her door and leaving cautious voicemails.

After Xander had left the wedding, Anya had fell apart. Buffy took over and let the guest know there would be no wedding and the rest of the gang cleaned everything up. The only thing Buffy had found when she came back to the dressing room was Anya's dress folded neatly on the counter, and her engagement ring sitting atop it all.

Since then there had been no sign of her, and Buffy was more than a little worried. But Anya was the last thing on her mind at the moment, as she sat in the waiting room of her mother's doctor's office. She held the hand of Spike in one hand and Dawn in the other. The three had been waiting as Joyce and Giles found out if the treatments were working.

It had been over two hours now since they had called her mother back, and Buffy was in a panic. Why was it taking so long? All she could do was squeeze her sisters and boyfriends hands and stare at the ridiculously cheery wallpaper. She counted the flowers that ran up and down the walls, trying desperately to put out the dread that she felt deep in her chest.

Something was wrong. She could feel it in her whole body. It was making her feel weak and dizzy. The stress was almost too much to bear. She caught herself multiple times feeling faint, but shook herself out of it. God, what if the treatment wasn't working? What if her mother was as good as dead. Bile rose i

n Buffy's throat and she gripped her boyfriend's hand tightly, fighting off the urge to throw up.

She eased up some as she felt Spike pull her hand to his lips and press a kiss to her palm. She glanced over at him and smiled, albeit shakily. Looking into those azure pools of his always seemed to calm her soul, and with a deep breath, she sent some of that reassurance to her poor sister who really had no concept of how serious this all was.

Still, Buffy could see the worry in the girls face as she glanced every few minutes at the door. "It'll be ok, Dawn." Buffy said, although she wasn't quite sure of it at the moment.

Dawn sighed dramatically and whispered, "You don't know that."

Buffy nodded slowly. "No, I don't, but no matter what we will make it ok."

Dawn sighed and looked away from her sister, although her countenance seemed to relax some at Buffy's words.

All three of them jumped as the heard the doors swish open. Spike stood as he watched his father and step-mother walk through. Neither looked at their faces, and dread instantly filled him.

Buffy and Dawn motioned towards their mother, stopping when they met her in the middle. They both looked hopefully at their mom. "Well?" Buffy was the first to speak.

Joyce just looked up at Giles and he nodded. "Well, girls, it appears that the treatments have don't little to change the size of the tumor. It seems your mother is n-no.." Giles paused in his retelling to cough, his eyes welling up with fresh tears, "She is no longer reacting to the treatment."

"But…isn't their something else they can do? Another treatment?" Dawn screeched.

"Unfortunately, for this type of tumor, there is no other treatment. Our only option now is to…operate."

"No…"

They all looked at Buffy who was shaking her head frantically. "Brain surgery…no…the risk is too high."

Joyce finally spoke, her voice raspy from her own tears, "It's our only option, sweetie. The doctor says there is actually a pretty good chance that this could fix all my problems with little rate of mortality."

"Mortality…" Buffy mumbled, suddenly very tired. The word repeated itself over and over in her mind until she could no longer keep her eyes open. Blackness surrounded her and as she fell, she felt a pair of strong, familiar hands reach for her.

"She's just very dehydrated….Yes…No…I'm sorry but I need to speak to the patient about her results first...Blood was taken only as a precaution….Sir, please…"

Buffy felt odd. This bed was not nearly as comfortable as hers. Was she at Spike's? How did she get here? Slowly opening her eyes towards the commotion in the corner of the room, Buffy realized she was in a hospital bed. What….how did she get here?

As her vision cleared, she made out the figures bickering on the other side of the room. It was a doctor and…Spike! She watched as Spike reached around the doctor, trying to grab the clipboard he held behind his back.

"Sir, I have to ask you to refrain from doing that. I am only trying to help."

Help? You won't tell me what you have there that's so god damn important that you want her to stay overnight. You keep saying it's just a precaution but I don't believe that rubbish. Now you want me to leave her? I've got news for you. I aint going nowhere, mate. "

Before the doctor could get in another word, Buffy coughed, realized for once how desperately thirsty she was. Both men turned their heads towards the sound. The doctor sighing in relief that he was done dealing with Spike, and Spike running to the side of her bed to grip her hand tightly in his.

"Oh god, Buffy. You had me so scared. We all were."

As he spoke he rained kisses along her face and neck. "How do you feel, pet?"

She shrugged but motioned for some water. The doctor quickly filled her up a cup and handed it to her. She shivered as the cool liquid hit her dry tongue. When she emptied the glass she noted the two men staring intently at her.

"How do you feel, Miss Summers?"

She shrugged at the attention and whispered. "Where's my mom. Is she ok?"

"Yeah, pet, she's fine. We were just worried is all. Brought you here because you fainted. Your Mum and the others went home. They're waiting on me to call them with an update as we speak, but bozo over here-" Spike motioned towards the waiting doctor, "wont give me any information."

"Information? What kind of information? Why did I pass out?"

The doctor glanced at Spike and Buffy shook her head. "It's fine. I give you permission to speak about my health in front of him."

With a nod the doctor began. "Well, Miss Summer's it appears you were simply dehydrated. The stress of the news you received must have been too much for your weakened body to handle. Of course, there is another matter that probably contributed to your weakened state."

She knotted her brow and Spike gripped her hand with worry. "What? What's wrong with me doctor?"

"Well, we went ahead and ran a simple blood test as a mere precaution, and we did find some interesting results. It appears, Miss Summers, that you are pregnant."

TBC...

Wowzers! Things are about to get very serious for Spuffy and in more ways than one. Dont forget to review with your thoughts and suggestions, share The Story with other Spuffy fans, favorite, and follow. Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, and reviewed. I appreciate each one of you.