On August 31, the day before I would be returning to school for my fifth year of school and Louis for his second, my parents decided that it would be nice for us to all spend the day together as a family. We never seemed to spend any time together anymore. Louis was always locked in his room, a fact which greatly concerned my parents. He never seemed to hang out with his friends anymore. He was always by himself, doing god knows what. I was always off somewhere with Dylan. And Vic had recently moved into Colin's flat.
Vic and Colin were supposed to come over at 9:00 for breakfast. At 9:15 there was still no sign of them. Louis tried to sneak a piece of bacon from the kitchen, but was caught by my mum. My stomach growled and I contemplated sneaking out the back door and finding Dylan. But I decided that the hell my mum would raise if I tried that would not be worth it.
"I know zey haven't forgotten," said my mum. "Vic dropped Jackie off at 8:30 and said zat she and Colin would be back in thirty minutes."
"Colin's probably not awake yet," I said, bouncing Jackie on my knee. "Why does he even have to come? He's not part of the family."
My mum shot me look. "Yes, 'e is."
"No, he's not," I said. "They're not married. He's never gonna marry her, you know that right?"
"No, I don't know zat!" she snapped. "I'm sure zey'll get married someday. Zey're just too young right now."
"Alright," I said, surprised at how naïve she was being about this. "If that's how you sleep at night."
She pursed her lips together tightly and it occurred to me that maybe that was how she slept at night. After all, Vic was eighteen, a mum, and living with her boyfriend, whom my mum had disapproved of from the beginning. Perhaps it had occurred to her that Colin was probably never going to marry Vic. But, she had convinced herself that he would because it was the only thing keeping her sane.
I opened my mouth to apologize, to say that I was wrong, that I was sure they would get married at some point, but the door opened and Vic came hurrying into the room.
"Where's Colin?" I asked.
"He had to work," she replied, taking Jackie from me.
"Work?" asked Mum. "You said that he had today off."
"He had to cover for someone else," she said. "He just found out this morning. That's why I'm late."
"Well," said my mum, standing up. "Zat's disappointing."
I rolled my eyes. In what universe could this possibly be considered disappointing? In my mind, any moment not spent with Colin was a moment well spent.
At breakfast, Vic was quiet. My mum kept asking her questions, trying to engage her in conversation, but she'd just respond with a nod or a word or two.
Finally, after about twenty minutes of this, my dad caught my mum's eye and shook his head. Leave her alone. My mum fell quiet.
After breakfast, my mum announced that we should all take a walk together down at the beach.
"What's the point of a walk if you don't have a dog?" asked Louis.
"I told Dylan I'd hang out with him today," I protested.
"You 'ang out with 'im everyday," replied my mum. "We are spending today together as a family."
"But, school starts tomorrow. It's my last chance to see him until next year!"
"I don't care," replied Mum. "Family is more important zan some boy."
On the walk, I fell behind everyone else. Louis had run ahead, chasing something. My parents were walking together, trying to keep up with him. Vic was right behind them, carrying Jackie in a sling, still silent.
I was lost in thought, when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up and found that Vic had fallen into step beside me. "Er, can I help you with something?" I asked, wondering why she had chosen to walk with me.
"Does Dylan do drugs?" she asked, her voice low.
That was probably the last thing I expected to come out of her mouth. "What?"
"Does Dylan do drugs?" she repeated.
"Er," I said. "I think maybe he does, sometimes. I don't know. It's not something we talk about."
She stopped walking. I stopped too. "Why are you even asking me this?" I asked.
"I just… I, erm…Colin was telling me this story about his dad and it made me realize that drugs can really screw up a person's life and I… I just don't want you to get caught up in that kind of stuff because Dylan convinces you to or something."
I remembered what Dylan had said to me a few months before when I decided I wanted to try a cigarette. "You know I'd never pressure you to something that you don't want to do."
"Don't worry about that," I said. "He wouldn't do something like that. Besides, I'm pretty sure that the extent of his drug use is just smoking pot once in awhile."
Vic nodded. "Okay," she said. "Well… er, that's all." I watched as she hurried away, trying to catch up to everyone else.
She'd certainly surprised me with the showing concern for me thing, but of course she immediately walked away afterward. God forbid she actually have a conversation with me that lasted longer than three minutes.
Apparently Mum was serious about us spending the entire day together. We had lunch together. We played board games together. Board games! When she first suggested it, I thought she was joking. But, unfortunately, she wasn't. It wasn't until after dinner that I was finally able to escape.
I found Dylan sitting on the porch of his grandmother's house. He smiled when he saw me. "Where have you been?" he asked, coming down the steps and swinging his arm around my shoulder.
I pushed it off and started walking. "Spending time with my family," I said.
He quickly caught up to me. "But you left me all alone. I didn't know what to do with myself."
"I'm sure you managed just fine."
He looked at me for a moment for a while, not saying a word. Then he took off running down the street. "Come on!" he called over his shoulder.
I took off after him. "Where are we going?"
"I don't know," he said. "I just want to go do something. Something crazy. Something that we shouldn't be doing." He had a wild look in his eye. "This is the last time we're going to see each other for a year. We should do something that we'll remember."
I stopped running, panting slightly. "No, Dylan, it's getting late. I have school tomorrow. I can't do anything crazy, whatever that means, right now."
He came to a stop. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he said. "Though I think someday we'll regret this. When we're old, we're going to look back on this moment and wish we'd thrown caution to the wind when we had the chance."
"Or maybe we'll be glad that we weren't reckless and stupid."
"Maybe," he said. "But you know what they say—'Cowards die many times before their deaths.'"
"Who said that?" I asked.
"Julius Caesar," he replied, "in the play by William Shakespeare."
"Well," I said. "I guess I'll just save not being a coward for another time."
"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today," he said.
"And who said that?" I asked.
"Thomas Jefferson."
I shook my head, amazed. "How do you remember so many quotes?"
He shrugged. "I just remember things I read. It comes naturally."
I considered this for a moment. It must have been a nice skill to have. It would certainly make studying easier. "I should get home," I finally said. "I just wanted to come find you to say goodbye."
"Goodbye," he murmured, taking a step closer to me.
"Goodbye," I echoed, staring up at his face. He was standing so close… So very close. I could hear his breathing. I could see the flecks of gold in his eyes. I didn't know what to do. What to say. I felt paralyzed. Unable to speak.
"So I'm gonna go now," I finally managed to say, breaking the silence.
He pulled away from me, the trance we had been in broken.
For a minute, I regretted it. Why couldn't I have just stayed quiet? Seen where the moment had taken us.
No, I thought. Putting a stop to that was the best thing to do. Dylan and I were just friends. We made sense as friends. I only saw him a few months a year. He lived all the way on the other side of the ocean. Besides, I didn't even have those kinds of feelings for him.
Did I?
"I'll walk you home," he said, seemingly unfazed by what had just happened. Had he even noticed?
We walked in silence for a few minutes until I finally spoke.
"I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too," he said.
"I just hate not being able to see you every day," I said, as we approached my house.
"Well," he said. "Just remember— 'If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever.'" He turned to leave.
"Who said that?" I called after him.
He turned back around. "Winnie the Pooh," he replied with a wink. And then he was gone.
Who was Winnie the Pooh?
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