Dean backtracked to him and before he touched him, he asked, "may I?" Not knowing what Dean wanted to do, he nodded and Dean embraced him in a hug. Dean was warm and smelled like leather, motor oil and whiskey. He simply held him and unable to stop himself, he nuzzled into Deans neck before the tears began to flow. Why he had started crying he didn't know, but at this moment, he felt safe and he could let all his defenses fall. He wrapped his arms around Dean and he felt him through the thin shirt he was wearing. Dean was rubbing his back and mostly supporting him, soothingly talking to him in his ear.

He and Cas stood there for a while. It was not possible for him to ignore the Cas's self-flagellation. Cas may no longer be an angel with all that mojo, but he was always more to him than just a tool. When he lost him for the first time, he knew Cas was more than just a powerful ally, he was a friend, his best friend. Strike that, he was family, even though he wasn't blood. And now, he was all that he had left of his family.

Once he felt the tension leave Cas, the man just held onto him and cried. It was a bit jarring for him to see such a human emotion from him, but it tugged at his heart and he felt the pain Cas was feeling. That sense of helplessness, of despair and shame…it had ruled his life for the past couple of weeks and drove him to drink to oblivion. The loss of his brother broke him, broke him further than he ever imagined. What Cas had happened to him was the worst of humanity had to offer, the very people he had given his life to protect. Life was unfair, it was cruel and it was pitiless.

They still had each other though, damaged as they may be. Cas was held onto him like his life depended on it, and he supposed it did. He was the only other person Cas had in all existence. The words he spoke the night the gates of hell closed came back to him and it made him feel horrible.

"It's ok Cas, I got you." he whispered over and over. He ran his hand up and down Cas's back like he did when Sam was still kid. He was supposed to be the one who looked out for Sam, and he's going to look out for Cas too.

"I don't want to go to sleep again Dean…I'm…scared of what I might dream about." Cas said breathing on his neck. His voice was small and broken, and it damned near broke his heart too.

"I know…I still dream about Hell. What I did there, and was done to me. You really can't control your dreams, but you gotta sleep sometime."

"How?" asked, resting his head on his shoulder. "How do you deal with it?"

"Well…you know, I sleep only when I absolutely need to and no longer."

"Your four hours?" He felt the Cas's mouth move against his shoulder. "You know that is not the recommended amount of sleep for an adult Dean."

"Yeah, well I'm not your average guy Cas. But I trained myself, you being new and all, I don't think that's an option for you." Cas wrapped himself tighter around him, but if it comforted the guy, he wasn't complaining. He brushed his hand against Cas's hair, which smelled like Sam's. "But you're safe here Cas. I'm here."

Cas exhaled, "I sometimes changed your dreams to more pleasant ones when I still had my grace. I wish I can could that still, for both of us."

"You did that? When?"

"I was supposed to keep an eye on you, and I sensed when you had nightmares. They would nearly cripple you and my orders was to ensure you were whole so you can fulfill your destiny."

He never knew that, that Cas did that for him. He has had plenty of nightmares, ones that still chill his blood and constrict his heart. Thinking about it, that didn't really start until after Lucifer was released, when Cas was cut off from Heaven. Then it clicked, "is that when you started watching me sleep?"

Cas brought his head up so he can see his eyes, which were red still. "Yes. You're…at peace when you rest, a state you are not usually in. It was something that as an angel, we couldn't comprehend dreams and sleep. Now that I can sleep, I do not want to out of fear."

Letting Cas go reluctantly, he only let his arms drop but they were still in close to each other. There was another tear coming from Cas's eyes that he wiped away with his thumb without a second thought. "Well, it's weird and freaky when with you standing over me when I wake up." Cas looked down. "But…I'm ok with that. It was…also kinda nice. I used to do that when Sam was still small, just watch him sleep. I know dad did too, on both of us sometimes. Guess it's just a human thing to do."

Looking back up, Cas seemed somewhat better that admission. Cas reached up and ran his hand down his face, "you look so much more at ease, younger even when you sleep Dean." His hand lingered on his jaw where he punched him earlier. It still stung a little, but the warmth of Cas's hand was soothing. He was oddly ok with this. Slowly, Cas withdrew his hand and looked like he was blushing. He was right, his moods are fluctuating considerably, Cas was angry ten minutes ago, a sobbing mess less than a minute and now blushing.

"So…well, we're both up. What do you want to do?" he asked. He just drank a cup of coffee and Cas was so riled up it was unlikely either one would go back to sleep. With Cas now feeling and displaying emotions, it was also necessary to keep an eye on him. Being new to being human and such, his friend was likely not understand what he was feeling. It was times like these he wished Sam was still here. Mushy emotion stuff was his turf, not his.

Glancing over to the library before turning back to him, Cas shrugged, "I do not know. Organizing the library does not seem…appealing at all."

Dean spent the time since he first got the bunker just poking around the rooms. Or being in his room, which he hasn't had since he was a kid since he had to always share. Otherwise, he hadn't had the chance to install in fun stuff, like a pool table or a flat screen. Not between cases and the whole trial thing began. So distracting things for him and Cas to do was basically zilch, cause he wasn't about to have Cas join him watching porn.

Oh, they didn't have to watch porn, they could watch a movie instead. It'll have to be a on his computer though on its small screen. He was now kicking himself not getting a TV at the store. Store! Sure it was an hour away but they needed to get Cas clothes, and food and now, a TV. And movies. Smiling he looked to Cas, "well, if you want we can go shopping. It's about an hour away but we need to get you some clothes and stuff around here. Otherwise, we can watch a movie on the computer but it's a small screen."

"I would prefer to not…to be in an area where people gather in number." Cas said timidly. Ok, that shot down that idea. He'll have a to go shopping himself then sometime later. Guess they had to go with option two.

"That's fine, I suppose we can watch a movie or something." How were they going to do this? Maybe just let Cas watch a movie by himself while he does something else? Which was what, clean? They could watch a movie together but that meant being real close to each other. And the only comfortable place he can do that was on a bed. His preferably 'cause it was awesome. Maybe he can read a book while Cas watched? But he also wanted to watch with Cas since it would be his first movie and probably wouldn't get half of it anyway. Looking at Cas, he saw that the man was waiting for him to decide with the sad lost looking eyes. "We can watch on my bed, since its comfy. Grab your pillows, guess we're having a sleepover."

Cas smiled faintly and walked over to his room while he followed suit. There was a slight limp in his gait and that reminded him of what had been done to Cas. What he, or actually, what they both needed was each other's company. The need for him to have a drink had subsided since Cas came back. Once in his room, he turned on the computer when Cas came in with his pillows. Dean waved over to his bed and Cas plopped himself down.

"This mattress is…different from the one in my room." Cas remarked, poking at with his finger.

"That's cause it's memory foam…it remembers me." he replied with a hint of pride. Best damn bed he ever bought. Only bed he ever bought at that.

"I brought a joint with me. Perhaps we can smoke it?" he held up a decent size joint. He forgot about that entirely, but he wasn't turning it down. It'll relax them both and if they do it together, then he can keep an eye on Cas. He didn't want to have Cas go all hippie on him.

"Yeah…no problem." Dean grabbed his lighter and hopped in bed after he put his pillows in a manner that he sit up right. Cas was beside him but not at all to close, a respectful distance. At this point, under these circumstances, personal space was reduced to zero. He laid the computer in the space between them and took a look at the joint. "Haven't smoked one in ages. You want to light up first?"

Cas's checked turned pink, "I do now know how. This would only be my fourth time and the previous instances the other person had already ignited the marijuana."

He had to chuckle, "it's light up of something like that, not ignite. No one uses ignite Cas. But here, I'll do it." Cas handed him the joint. "I think we should watch Star Wars, cause it's classic and awesome." He light the joint and inhaled. Damn, this stuff was top notch, though he had to cough a bit. It has been a while. He handed it to Cas as his play.

Cas took a smaller his before he passed it back to Dean. He held it for a bit as the he got up to turn off the light. He took a small hit before he handed it back to Cas. "You're going to enjoy this Cas, it has everything, great story, action and lightsabers." Cas nodded as he took a longer drag. He could feel it already working, or at least he thought it did. It was good quality, he'll give it that.

The music started and he and Cas paid attention to the screen. He mostly watched Cas watch, like a proud parent watching their kid make their first goal. Then the ships came into view and he saw the wonder in Cas's eye open up a tiny bit. Good thing he picked sci-fi, Cas would've corrected any historical or supernatural movie. "Hey, pass it over," he asked after Cas took another small hit. Looked like it had another two hits in it, and he thought that was enough. The beginnings of a high were already effecting him and he just let it flow.

He was so enthralled at the movie that he didn't ask for another hit, but it was his and the pleasure of ending it should be his. "Cas, want the last of it?" he asked poking him in the shoulder. Cas didn't even flinch, so he was relaxed as well then.

"No, you can finish it. I believe I am…what was the term, 'high'?" Cas replied not even looking away from the screen.

"Sure…hey, want to shotgun it?"

At this, Cas did turn to him confused. "Shotgun?"

Pausing the movie, he elaborated, "yeah, I smoke, and blow some into your mouth, that way we can both finish it." Then his brain caught up and he realized that he used the surprise kiss by shotgunning trick. This was Cas though, he wasn't going to kiss him.

Arching his eyebrow, Cas also blushed before nodding, "yes…that would be ok."

Smiling, he leaned in closer as did Cas. Smoking the last of it, he held it his mouth as Cas came really really close to his own lips and opened his own. He blew into Cas's mouth before inhaling the rest and Cas did the same before they both exhaled at the same time. They looked at each other afterward and for a moment, he felt...something.

Shrugging it off, he scooted closer to Cas and wrapped his arm around him. Cas just leaned in and rested against his chest when he hit play. The computer was now on his lap and together, they watched the movie side by side.