"Welp, Christmas is here. What do you usually do during the holiday, Gid?"

"I stay at home and eat leftovers."

"Oh..."

"Yep... and what about you, Nick? Any tradition you like to follow?"

"I... do something like you do... sometimes without the leftovers, sometimes without the home..."

"Ah..."

"Yeah..."

"..."

"..."

"...Judy's invited us over, if we want to join her family for dinner and maybe spend a few days there."

"Huh? You know her family, what would the experience be like?"

"Well... 3000 bunnies, food, noise, probably a couple of specist uncles per table..."

"Jeez, sounds delightful..."

"And I think I still have a video Robbie accidentally sent me."

"Robbie?"

"Judy's brother."

"What's it about?"

"Uhh... drunk relatives measuring their dicks on the table during Christmas dinner."

"Oh, god, that's... that's just- did you like it?"

"Nick!"

"Right, right, just what I thought, we're not going."

"..."

"..."

"He told me he'd kill me if I ever showed it to anyone."

"Well, I guess I understand; you don't want-"

"He's an alcoholic, Nick. He was arrested last thanksgiving after trying to drown his wife in the bathtub."

"Holy fuck! What... how did-"

"Alcoholism isn't funny."

"Yeah, I know, and it's-"

"It isn't funny, Nick."

"...alright."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So... are we still together?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, our story starts in February/March... did we break up during all this time? Did we get married?"

"I... I don't know. This is a Christmas special, those don't make sense and are painfully bad."

"Yeah... wanna go to my place, get drunk, cry because I guess we're still miserable, and maybe have sweaty and sloppy sex that none of us will enjoy?"

"Boy, do I ever!"

"Haha! Alright, let's go."

"..."

"..."

"Hey Nick... are reindeers real?"

WRITE SOMETHING WITTY HERE.

"I had never seen it like that! You're right, Nick; that's the real meaning of Christmas!"

Oh shit I just remembered I had an actual sex scene in mind that involved dressing up like Santa... something about bondage? Wrapped dick? Ornaments in ass? I guess that's the present I'm giving you this year: imagination!

Imagine the foxes doing the thing! And happy whatever you celebrate, if you celebrate anything at all. But you like gifts, don't you? Well, then us your brand new imagination to imagine your dad is not drunk and he's not telling you how much of a disappointment you are while the whole family agrees with himFUCK YOU DAD I WILL NEVER BE A BIOLOGIST YOU RUINED MY LIFE I LIKE MEN WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT I'LL TELL MOM YOU FUCK TRANSVESTITES YOU FIND ON THE INTERNET

But for real, enjoy your thing and have a somewhat less scary new year!

Haha, my hiatuses are longer than Steven Universe's, huh? Yep, cliffhangers! I could've published the actual next chapter two months ago, but noooo, I'm too busy, the very important man. Fuck me, dude. So, is the Sly Cooper movie coming out or...?