Author Note: Alright, hands up who believes that Dante and Gwaine really did split up, after spending pretty much the entirity of the first story getting together? Well, here, my friends, is a chapter that will explain everything. And of course, as always, not everything is as it seems.
Oh and we also get Merlin finally opening up about his love life - or rather his lack of one...though when revealing this to Gwaine, one has to wonder if this is truly the best idea the young warlock's ever had!
...
Merlin wasn't exactly sure why Gwaine had needed to accompany him into the woods that morning. Gaius has asked him to collect some herbs from one side of the Darkling Woods, whilst Iseldir was to collect from the other side. Merlin was more than capable of finding the herbs himself, but for some reason, the stubborn knight had insisted he join him and, being a good friend, Merlin had been unable to refuse him.
Besides, Gwaine was actually proving to be of great use - he knew many of the herbs from his time as a 'ragged ranger' (as everyone had taken to calling his previous lifestyle before his knighthood). But that still didn't explain WHY he needed to be there with Merlin.
"Dante went out with Iseldir this morning, " he stated now, depositing a fist full of various leaves into Merlin's basket.
"Did she?" Merlin asked, surprised. "Why would she do that?"
"I was hoping you'd tell me."
"Why would she tell me where she's going?" Merlin looked confused. Gwaine studied him for a moment, then shrugged.
"I'm sorry, Merlin. Forget I said anything."
"You still love her, don't you," Merlin said, watching carefully for the knight's reaction. Rather than deny anything, Gwaine just sighed and shrugged, which Merlin took as a sign of confirmation.
He opened his mouth to say something...and words failed him. What COULD he say?
I'm sorry she broke your heart...
You're better off without her...
You deserve so much more than she could ever give you...
All those comments, and many more, cycled round his head, but he simply couldn't get his mouth to speak any of them.
"I'm sorry," he managed eventually. And then he turned away, hoping that Gwaine would change the subject. But the knight had other ideas.
"Have you ever been in love, Merlin?"
"No," the young warlock replied quickly. Too quickly for Gwaine's liking, apparently.
"Yeah, right," the knight scoffed. "And I'm the Queen of Avalon."
"Your Majesty," Merlin grinned, ducking the clump of moss that suddenly flew in his direction.
"Come on Merlin, there must have been someone. You can tell me, surely? I won't tell anyone."
"Until you've had a few gallons of ale poured down your throat."
"Hey, my love life's a mess. I'm in no position to criticize everyone else's. Besides, even I have standards, Merlin. Come on."
"Alright," Merlin laughed at the 'wounded' face Gwaine was pulling at him now. "Alright, if you must know...I've been in love twice."
"But not anymore, I'm sensing," Gwaine frowned. "What happened?"
"I'd rather not talk about it," Merlin sighed, turning away again. But still Gwaine wasn't satisfied.
"You can't leave me in suspense like that, Merlin! Who were they? Would I know them? What happened to make you so...so...against women?!"
"I'm not against women!" Merlin protested. "I kissed Dante, didn't I?"
"She kissed you."
"There's a difference?"
"With most women? No. With Dante? Yes! She's very picky about who she kisses...or at least she always used to be. That was always the sworn mission of every boy within a five mile radius of Arryn, when we were growing up - to be the one who successfully earned a kiss from the High Lord's daughter."
"And how many succeeded?" Merlin asked, glad of the distraction, even though it was only a short one.
"Just the one," Gwaine grinned, looking very smug with himself. And then he frowned. "Hey, you changed the topic! And you still haven't told me who these mysterious lovers of yours were, or what happened to them."
"Because there's not much to tell," Merlin lied, walking back to his horse now that they had collected everything they needed from this part of the woods.
"Merlin! I won't stop until you tell me!" Gwaine warned in a teasing tone, apparently relieved that he didn't seem to be the only one who was unlucky in love. When it still seemed that Merlin would not tell him a thing, Gwaine sighed. "Alright, I'll make you a deal. You tell me what happened between you and these girls, and I'll tell you what happened between me and Dante."
"Everyone knows what happened between you and Dante," Merlin shrugged, not seeing the benefits to this deal. But when he caught Gwaine's eye, he paused.
"There are some things nobody knows but her and me," Gwaine replied darkly. "Things that must never be repeated to anyone."
Now Merlin's curiosity was piqued. "Alright, you've got yourself a deal. What was it you wanted to know?"
"Well, who these women are for a start," Gwaine replied, his mood lightening again in an instant. "And why we've never heard about them before now."
"Well, there was Freya," Merlin sighed as he swung himself into the saddle. Gwaine hopped lightly into his own saddle and they started off at a gentle walk through the forest, side by side.
"Freya? Pretty name," Gwaine nodded in approval. "What happened to her?"
"She...she died. And it was my fault."
"I'm sorry," Gwaine said sincerely. Merlin had expected more questions after that, but surprisingly, the knight remained respectfully quiet, which was a blessing. It didn't make Merlin feel like he was under pressure. He could reveal things in his own time, when he was most comfortable.
"She was a druid," he said eventually. Gwaine glanced sideways at him, but said nothing further, just waiting and listening. After a few more moments to let the grief (which was still painful to bear, even after all these years) subside, Merlin carried on, telling Gwaine everything, from the moment he'd first met Freya, chained in that slaver's cart, to the moment he'd watched her die. Then, considering Gwaine was one of his closest friends these days, Merlin even made the decision to tell him about how Freya had become the Lady of the Lake, and had helped Merlin, even after her death (although he conveniently left out the part where he used magic during their encounters, and instead claimed that she came to him in a 'dream').
"It seems you have a good taste in women," Gwaine commented eventually. "To have one who loved you so much, even through everything else that was going on. And to help you, even after death had claimed her...do you think Dante would ever do the same for me?"
"Without a doubt," Merlin nodded fervently. "She still loves you, Gwaine. I see it in her eyes every time someone says your name. Give her time, she'll come back to you. When she realises how stupid she's been."
"Perhaps," Gwaine nodded, though he didn't sound convinced. Then he shook his head, as if waking from a dream, and looked back to Merlin again. "So, come on then, that's one. Who's this other striking beauty who stole your heart?"
"Morgana," Merlin shrugged, affecting a casual air, as if it was no big deal.
Gwaine almost fell off his horse in surprise, righted himself quickly, then blinked several times, before shaking his head again.
"Wow, I really must be deaf," he frowned. "Because I swear I just heard you say 'Morgana'. But that can't be right."
"No, you heard correctly," Merlin assured him.
Gwaine leaned over then and knocked lightly on Merlin's temple. "Hello? Is this thing working?"
"There's nothing wrong with my mind," Merlin laughed, swatting his hand away. "It was years ago, way back before she became all...evil and..."
"Twisted and bitchy and psychotic and tyrannical and vile?" Gwaine supplied helpfully.
"Yes," Merlin laughed again. "Back before all those things, when she was still Uther's Ward, and had no idea of the magic she possessed. She was different back then, Gwaine. Kind, sweet, fiercely protective and loyal to her friends...even merciful and forgiving."
"Are you sure we're talking about the same Morgana, here? Because I cannot imagine that AT ALL," Gwaine frowned.
"Well, imagine Dante as she is now," Merlin supplied, trying to think of an example that Gwaine would be able to follow and understand. "She's all the things I just said about Morgana, and more. Then imagine someone did something terrible to her that was so awful it was...well it was unforgivable. But she was expected to forgive him, none-the-less. Then imagine she found out that she had magic, and she was scared and afraid because she didn't know who to turn to, and she was terrified for her very life..."
"I see where you're going with this, now," Gwaine nodded, comprehension in his eyes. "So alright, perhaps it's not so hard to believe, about Morgana then. And I do have to admit, behind all that evil bitchiness, she is a very beautiful young woman. Heartless, cruel, merciless and evil to the core...but beautiful as well."
"She is," Merlin agreed.
"So what happened to turn her so definitely against her friends?"
"I poisoned her."
For the second time in as many minutes, Gwaine almost fell from his horse. "You did WHAT?!"
So Merlin was forced to explain everything that had happened, with Morgana's magic and how he'd tried to help her. Then how her sister had turned up and twisted her, using Morgana for her own evil ends. He also explained the whole incident with the Knights of Medhir, and how at the time, he'd seen no choice but to do what he'd done, and poison Morgana. Of course he seriously regretted it now, and there was no doubt in his mind that this had been the turning point - the moment when she'd tipped over the edge and taken her first step to joining the opposing side - but Gwaine seemed very sympathetic as he listened.
He didn't seem angry, or disappointed...it was like he understood exactly what Merlin was going through. Which got the young warlock thinking.
"So...you said you'd make me a deal. I kept up my end," he said after a brief period of silence. Gwaine looked, for one moment, as if he was about to back out of his end of the deal, but eventually he sighed.
"Well, you heard the argument?"
"The whole citadel did," Merlin admitted, and Gwaine nodded. He'd figured as much.
"What you didn't hear, however, was the conversation we had before everything kicked off."
"So it wasn't a simple case of jealousy, then?" Merlin asked, forgetting that it was supposedly Gwaine who'd had the fit of jealousy in the first place. Gwaine shook his head, then glanced around to make sure they were well and truly alone, before dropping his voice so low that Merlin had to move closer to hear him.
"She told me that she was being blackmailed by Mordred and King Lot into helping them find Morgana. She never wanted to, but they were threatening her family...and me. She had no choice but to do what she did and rescue Morgana, whilst Mordred never left her alone to warn anyone. The only way she was able to warn me was when I got jealous about how 'friendly' she was getting with him. She dragged me into her room so that we would be alone, admitted everything to me quietly, and then started the argument, knowing full well that Mordred would be waiting right outside her door. I thought she was REALLY arguing with me at first, so I argued back and, well let's just say the whole thing became a little more realistic than we'd expected. But it was only afterwards that I came to realise, it had all been an act, on her part. She'd known Mordred was listening in, so she'd tried to protect me by severing all ties to me. If we were no longer together, he could not use me as leverage to bend her to his will."
Whilst Merlin didn't believe any of the 'blackmail' part for one moment, as he was one of the very few who knew the truth about Dante, he WAS stunned by the rest of what he'd heard. "So...she broke up with you...to protect you?" That part, at least, he COULD believe.
"Yes," Gwaine nodded sadly. "And whilst Mordred and Morgana are around, we can never be together. Being mean to her is the hardest thing I have EVER had to do, Merlin! A part of me dies each time I have to act like I don't care about her. I can't stand it! And I know she can't either. But what can we do?"
Hearing hoof beats behind them, both suddenly turned in their saddles to see Iseldir and Dante emerging from a side path on their own horses. Iseldir looked like he was enjoying the pleasant ride, but Dante looked deeply troubled, and lost in thought.
"I think it's time you had another chat," Merlin said quietly to the knight as they slowed to allow the other two a chance to catch up. "Away from the eyes and ears of the city."
"We can't..." Gwaine started, though it appeared that he so desperately wanted nothing more than to go to Dante and reassure her that everything would be alright. "What about Iseldir?"
"He's a wise man who knows many things. Chances are he already knows about the pair of you. Now stop stalling and go to her," Merlin urged him gently, moving his horse out of the way so that Gwaine and Dante could walk side by side. "It's been two years since you 'broke up'...you both deserve a break."
"We do," Gwaine nodded decisively. Then without another word, he moved right over to ride beside Vixen and her pensive rider, who glanced up finally, when he reached out and touched her lightly on the arm.
"Sir Gwaine," she greeted frostily, though now that Merlin knew about their 'act', he could tell that her harshness was all for show. Her eyes betrayed how she truly felt.
"They know, Dante," Gwaine smiled slightly, feeling somewhat relieved for the moment that he could just be himself. Dante, startled, looked to Merlin and Iseldir for a moment, then smiled as well, heaving a very visible sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness for that. All this...all this 'hate' is killing me."
"Me too," Gwaine nodded, reaching his hand out again. This time, she reached up and placed hers in his, and he kissed the back of it lightly, eliciting another smile. And that was when Merlin noticed Gwaine's engagement ring, sitting prettily on her right ring finger.
So much for the rumours about her throwing it at him, he thought wryly as he and Iseldir spurred their horses on a little, leaving the lovers to trail behind at their own pace, and enjoy some rare time together.
"We're losing her, Emrys," Iseldir muttered quietly when they were out of earshot. Merlin looked at him sharply.
"What do you mean?"
"She's confused and alone...she needs guidance now, more than ever, but has nobody who she can turn to and trust. One wrong word from the wrong mouth and she will be lost forever to death, or darkness. Whichever claims her first."
"Is there nothing we can do to help her?" Alright, he may not like the woman - she was a traitor, after all - but he still felt sorry for her. Especially as everyone was so convinced that she was doomed to some horrific fate.
"Guide her, Emrys. You know her secret. One of the rare few who do. You are also the only one who can guide her in the right direction. So it must be you who guides her. She'll listen to you."
"Will she?" Merlin wasn't convinced.
"She'll have to, if she wants to keep that pretty head on those pretty shoulders," Iseldir sighed. "I must leave the city for a time. So it's down to you now, Emrys. Keep her secret. Keep her safe."
"I'll try," Merlin nodded, glancing back over his shoulder to see that Gwaine and Dante had fallen back even further, apparently in no hurry to go home. They were riding so close that their knees brushed lightly together, and they were holding hands in the way that only a pair of young lovers can.
"I'll try," he assured the old druid again. "But it won't be easy."
"Nothing ever is," was all the reply he got.