Chapter 10: Wonderful Warning: I am not a Doctor. Just saying. For the last time - may contain triggers for sexual abuse trauma. Disclaimed: These beautiful creatures belong to Stephenie Meyer.
"I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again"
-Wonderful, Everclear
"Maybe it was a mistake."
Edward was sitting cross legged on his bed, his head in his hands, his fingers raking through his hair restlessly. He was wracked by guilt that he should not have had sex with Bella a few nights previous.
There was no one he wanted to have sex with besides Bella and it had felt good, to him anyway. But it had also felt off somehow. His usually shy, sweet Bella had been bold and seductive. In the moment it had been alluring and exciting. Looking back though, it felt wrong. It had been easy to push aside the weird feeling because touching her and seeing her like that had been nothing short of amazing. Still, in the obviously dark place that Bella had been in of late, it shouldn't have happened. It didn't help that it had only dawned on him after the fact that things had moved too fast and they hadn't used protection.
"She's getting worse," Edward told Jasper, unnecessarily.
Jasper was well aware that she was getting worse. It was impossible to miss the emptiness they saw in her eyes more and more, and the slump of defeat in the set of her shoulders. "She's breaking," he said quietly.
"She's not weak," Edward protested defensively.
"Of course she's not weak. Whatever he's doing or saying...whatever she's not telling us about is destroying her." Jasper worried his lip between his teeth, and Edward could see his eyes were drawn. "What if she's giving up?"
Edward didn't answer. He knew his fear and frustration were written all over his face.
They both knew that the only way they worked, the only way they survived was because they had each other. Together they were legs of a tripod- holding themselves up straight and tall - but if one of them broke then surely they would all fall.
Though Edward had rarely been able to stop James from hurting her, he'd always been able to comfort her afterward. Even when she'd withdrawn into her own world he'd been able to coax her back, but it just wasn't working this time. Her despondence was lingering to the point that she would space out mid-sentence sometimes. Even Alice was worried.
For the first time in three years, Edward desperately wished he had someone he could talk to – someone he could go to. He needed someone with more power than he had. He needed someone who could tell him what to do. He needed someone to help him save her, because if he couldn't there was no way he could survive this.
He needed a fucking adult.
Bella's mood swings were completely bewildering to him. When they had another chance to spend some time alone together she had been noticeably distracted. Her eyes were not dead that night but they held the anguish that was becoming too familiar. Desperate to make her smile, he had tried brushing his hand over her breast, but instead of the smile she'd worn when it was her putting his hand there, she had gone rigid in his arms. She'd started to panic and he had been hard pressed to figure out how to calm her.
Most frustrating of all, she never had a clear answer as to what made her that jumpy. "I was just surprised. I don't know - I haven't been sleeping and it's making me grumpy," she had murmured in between a litany of apologies.
"I'm just tired," had become her excuse of choice, but it was entirely too vague. Physically, she looked exhausted. Some days it seemed to be a huge struggle to even walk upright. There were dark circles under her eyes and her face was looking gaunt. But physical weariness was not enough to explain her behavior. She was undoubtedly tired of their situation, of the way they lived, but did her "I'm tired" mean that she was ready to give up?
Overwhelmed by the enormity of the feeling that something cataclysmic was on the horizon, Edward did everything he could think of to keep her safe. He very rarely let her out of his sight, even skulking in the hallway when James called for her specifically. He did as many of her chores as he could. He tried everything he could think of to make her smile. At school, he tried his best to catch up with her between classes, just because he knew she liked to walk with him - and he wanted to know if whatever was bothering her lately had something to do with school.
As school wound down for the semester they received news that Edward hoped would bring Bella a little relief. He knew enough that their poisonous environment was not helping her fragile mental state. However, right before the semester was set to end, James had a weeklong conference that he was supposed to attend in Seattle. Carlisle and Esme had gotten all the appropriate clearances from the foster family agency and were taking all three teenagers in for the week. Not only that but Emmett was also done with school for the semester and was coming home for winter break with his new girlfriend Rosalie in tow. He was hoping that spending a few days in a house safe from James would help break the spell Bella seemed to be under.
It was Monday. Edward, Jasper and Bella were supposed to go to the Cullen's' that night though James wasn't set to leave town until early the next morning.
That afternoon, Edward was running later than he wanted to lunch. His geometry teacher had kept them a little past the bell going over the review for the final that was on Wednesday. Edward was irritated because, besides the fact that he didn't need the help, he was anxious to be by Bella's side.
As he approached the table he could see Alice and Jasper were missing, but Bella was not alone. He narrowed his eyes when he realized that Mike Newton was sitting beside her. He was leaning in close and looked to be chatting. She was not looking at him and he could recognize the discomfort written on her features plainly enough. Edward started to walk faster, the cafeteria seeming far too large all of a sudden. Then, Mike reached out and touched a strand of Bella's hair. Bella cringed away and Edward saw red.
"Get the fuck away from her, Newton," Edward snapped, grabbing Mike's arm and jerking it away from Bella. "Do you have eyes? Can't you see she doesn't want you near her?"
Mike yanked his arm back. "Hands to yourself, Masen," Mike snapped back, standing to face Edward.
"You follow your own advice and we won't have a problem." Edward's hands were fists as he stepped between Bella and Mike. He felt Bella tug at his wrist worriedly, but he didn't back down. All of his anger and frustration over being unable to protect her had been rumbling inside of him for years now. He couldn't stop James but he'd be damned if he let Mike Newton so much as make her uncomfortable.
If you had asked Mike why he said the next thing that came out of his mouth he couldn't have told you. He was typically rather a nice guy. He had been raised to be respectful of his peers and it was something he usually had no problem with. More than that he genuinely liked Bella Swan. She was shy and sweet and had explained things patiently when he didn't understand something in their science class.
But being a teenager was confusing. Losing Edward as a friend years previous had hurt and over time the hurt had turned into anger. That day, he dealt with his anger in exactly the wrong way and lashed out at the wrong person, as teenagers are prone to do. "What's a matter with you anyway, Masen? You can only share her with Whitlock? Everyone knows about the fucked up incest situation you have going on-,"
Anything else Mike might have said was cut off when Edward's fist connected with his face.
Edward watched in vague horror as the other boy went flying back. He'd hit Mike hard, and he could see the blood pouring from his nose. The instant his fist had connected, the fury Edward had felt like a loud roar in his ears dissipated. He didn't even register the throbbing pain in his knuckles. For a long moment, he couldn't even breathe because he was so shocked.
Then it was suddenly very noisy.
Other students came running. Jasper's voice calling his name made Edward turned around, but it was Bella's face he automatically honed in on.
There was more emotion in Bella's face than he had seen in a month. "Edward. Oh my God!"
He took a step toward her, his automatic reaction to comfort her because she was obviously upset, but then something grabbed him by the collar. He twisted in an iron grip and found himself being hauled out of the cafeteria and down the hallway toward the principal's office by Coach Clapp.
Reality slapped him in the fucking face just then and he realized what he'd done. He'd never been in trouble in school before, but he knew well enough what happened. Three day suspension, at least and there was always the possibility that Mike Newton's parents would press charges. But it wasn't that thought that had his stomach twisting and his knees feeling distinctly weak.
He knew the first thing the principal was going to do would be to call his guardian.
***
Esme Cullen hummed quietly to herself as she tapped at her computer, making notes and calculations for a restoration project she was working on for one of the city's dilapidated historical buildings. She was clacking away when she heard the sounds of a car coming up the long gravel drive. She smiled, knowing her niece and her friends were here.
Over the last year, Esme had really come to love the three teenagers. They were, one could say, a little rough around the edges, but that was to be expected, she figured. They each had seen far more tragedy in their young lives than anyone should have to deal with. They were often paranoid. Bella and Jasper were soft spoken and even Edward seemed nervous at times. She had supposed that being uprooted by the circumstances they had - Jasper and Bella losing the parents they'd grown up with to death and Edward watching his parents get hauled off to prison - it was only natural that they were a little off. Alice and Emmett both had told her how the teens were treated at school. Like outcasts. Esme felt her heart pang. It was a cruelty of life that she still found hard to accept. People were afraid of things that were different and many dealt with that fear with derision.
Despite their quirks they were lovely children. They were mostly well behaved and thoughtful individuals. Certainly easy to love.
Esme clucked to herself worriedly.
James had called her an hour or so previous to let her know that Edward had been in a fight at school. He was suspended for three days. Esme had assured him that she had no problem with Edward being home for the next three days. She had asked if Edward had any restrictions that she needed to follow.
"No," James had said, sounding irritated. "He and I will discuss it further when I get home."
Esme had sympathized. She had raised rambunctious Emmett and often had her hands full with her wonderful niece. Neither of them had ever been in a fight, but they had both seen their share of trouble. As a parent, one was stretched to the very limits of their patience at times. Teenagers in particular seemed to have a knack at knowing how to make their parent's lives difficult.
She watched from the window as they got out of the car. Jasper got out of the driver's seat and walked around to the passenger side. He reached in and took something from Edward's hands, shouldering the backpack Esme recognized as Edward's in addition to his own. By that time Bella and Alice had gotten out of the backseat. Edward got out of the passenger side slowly, looking distinctly paler than usual.
All four of them looked so subdued.
Esme sighed quietly. She knew from experience that teenagers who were as close as they were often picked up on each other's moods and backed each other up. The year previous, Emmett had gotten in a lot of trouble with Esme and Carlisle when he'd gotten overly zealous with a few of his friends and a paintball gun. He'd been contrite for a couple of days afterward, and his abnormal behavior had caused Alice to glare and snip at her aunt and uncle.
Prepared for a potentially trying night, Esme was about to move off toward the kitchen to make some comfort food when something tugged at her consciousness. There was something off about the way Edward was moving, she realized. He had a certain confidence about him typically that was missing today. He moved slowly; stiffly. She furrowed her eyebrows, wondering if the fight he'd been in had been worse than she imagined.
All that afternoon, Esme was struck by the nagging feeling that she was missing something.
Dinner was too quiet. None of them ate a lot. Bella had been picking at her food for a couple of months now. Esme knew she was going through a hard time. Every time she'd attempted to talk to Bella the girl had just brushed off her concern. She'd mumbled something about missing her dad, and as the semester wore on she had been worried about school. Esme had done what she could - cooking the food she knew Bella liked on the days when she, Jasper and Edward stayed for dinner and offering to listen if Bella ever wanted to talk. Bella had always respectfully declined any conversation, assuring Esme she was fine.
Truthfully, Bella looked more alert than she had in weeks. Her eyes were always darting over to Edward, looking concerned. It was definitely a complete reversal from the norm.
Edward excused himself politely and was asleep in one of the guest rooms on the third floor before Carlisle got home. Emmett and Rosalie arrived not that long afterward.
Tuesday morning Edward still looked drawn and exhausted when he got up with Alice, Jasper and Bella. After they'd gone, he sat at the table staring listlessly at the oatmeal Esme had made for him.
It dawned on Esme that Edward was not using his right hand to hold the spoon. In fact, his right arm was resting in his lap.
She frowned to herself again, that odd feeling tugging at her again.
When Edward had finally given up trying to force down any more of the oatmeal he had brought it to the sink.
"Would you play something on the piano for me?" Esme asked, knowing that Edward always loved to play the piano.
He looked over at the piano longingly and then back down at the floor. "I don't really feel like playing right now. I'm sorry," he murmured.
Concerned now, Esme put her hand on his arm. He hissed suddenly, recoiling away from her touch. "I'm sorry," he mumbled automatically.
"Edward," Esme said slowly, furrowing her eyebrows. "Are you hurt?"
"No!" Edward said, too quickly and too nervous. "I mean. I'm just sore. I was just..," he searched for something feasible. "It was just the fight. I got knocked around a little, that's all."
Instead of assuaging Esme's concern, Edward's excuse only served to triple it. "I didn't think you were hurt that badly. Has this Mike Newton kid given you problems before?"
Edward was shocked that she didn't immediately suspect it was him who had started the fight. He didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it, his rising panic at Esme's persistence becoming harder to control. Especially when the next words came out of her mouth. "Sweetheart, have you told James about it? I'm sure he could help you."
"No!" Edward cried, again too quickly. He automatically started to raise his hand to run through his hair and winced again. "I'm fine. It's fine. It won't happen again. I swear. It was a onetime occurrence."
Seeing how agitated he was, Esme relented. "If you're sure. Just remember that James is there to help you, if you need it. Don't be afraid to go to him if you get into something over your head."
Edward let out a strange, humorless laugh that was more pained than anything else. "You worry too much Esme," he said, but his voice did not match his nonchalant words.
When Carlisle got home that evening Esme quietly spoke her concerns that Edward was more injured than he was letting on. She pointed out his eating at the dinner table and then told him about the piano and how he had declined Emmett's request that they play video games as well. "I think there's something wrong with his arm," Esme confided in her husband. She hesitated but then she spoke the nagging suspicion that had been eating at her since she'd watched Edward get out of the car the day before. "I think that there's more to this than a random bout of teenage angst," she said quietly.
"What makes you say that?" Carlisle asked.
Esme struggled to put her suspicions into words. "I don't know, really. There's just something about his attitude. It feels off for this just to have been about a simple fight. He looks like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. And then, the way Jasper and Bella look at him...like they're waiting for something. Worried about something." She shook her head.
Carlisle considered this. He understood what Esme was talking about.
When Alice came back into the kitchen looking for a drink Carlisle called her over and asked her, nonchalantly as possible, if she knew of any problems Edward had with Mike Newton.
Alice rolled her eyes. "He certainly didn't have a problem with him yesterday. He knocked him out cold. Mike didn't even see it coming."
Esme's eyes widened a bit in shock. "You mean Mike didn't hit him at all?"
"Oh, no. Edward knocked him right out." Alice frowned a bit. "I think Edward has a bit of a temper - but Mike shouldn't have said that about Bella. Bella's been having a hard time as it is."
The next morning, Carlisle had a late shift so he was able to talk to Edward.
He called him into his office and told him that Esme had noticed he wasn't moving his arm well.
"I just want to take a look. Bad bruising can lead to permanent damage, even if doesn't feel like it," Carlisle explained. It wasn't precisely a lie - it was just highly unlikely.
It took some talking but Edward finally relented, if only to show Carlisle that his arm wasn't that bad. He had seen the bruises yesterday and while they hurt, they weren't as bad by half as what Jasper had gotten the previous Christmas.
So he took off his shirt, keeping his undershirt on because Carlisle did not have to see the bruises that covered his back and chest.
Years of seeing some fairly horrific things as a Doctor allowed Carlisle to keep his absolute horror from showing.
Edward's entire right shoulder was horribly bruised. As a doctor, Carlisle was able to read his wound fairly accurately. Someone had hit him not once but again and again in that same spot. Under the guise of examining the underside of Edward's arm using the magnifying mirror he kept on his desk, Carlisle took a few moments to ensure his voice was calm when he spoke.
"Edward, these aren't from a fight, are they?"
Edward's eyes widened perceptibly even as he responded automatically. "They are."
Carlisle tilted the mirror in Edward's direction so he could see the bruises easily. "You see this?" he pointed to a pattern on Edward's skin, overlapping ovals on the edge of the bruise. "This would indicate that someone hit you several times in the same place. Usually, when you're in a fight, you're moving around. The bruising would be spread out." Edward yanked his arm back, but didn't move otherwise. He was staring at Carlisle with a deer in headlights expression. "Son, I need you to tell me the truth. Please. Who did this to you?"
"I can't." This was not the Edward Carlisle had come to know. This Edward was terrified. His eyes were wide and pleading and brimming with tears. "Carlisle, please," he begged, his voice desperate. "You can't tell anyone."
"It's okay, Edward." Carlisle tried to reassure him. "I'm not going to be mad at you. If someone is being violent with you, I just want to help you before it gets out of hand."
Edward opened his mouth to lie again, but he made the mistake of looking up into Carlisle's eyes. They were so earnest and compassionate. "I can't," he whispered, more to himself than anything else. His eyes darted around the room like a caged animal looking for escape.
Tilting his head so he could look the frightened boy in the eye, Carlisle tried again to reassure him. "You don't have to be afraid."
Edward nodded absently, looking down and away, but when Carlisle reached out to touch his shoulder reassuringly, he cringed, as if expecting to be struck. Carlisle sighed, seeing he was going to have to try a different approach before the teenager bolted altogether.
"Is it another student at your school?" he asked softly. There was a long pause but finally Edward shook his head, the movement almost imperceptible. Carlisle tried not to let his relief show. He could play 20 questions to get the answer he needed, as long as Edward was answering. "Is it someone else at your school?" Another infinitesimal head shake.
Carlisle wracked his brain, trying to think of where else he might have gotten hurt. As far as he knew, Edward, Bella and Jasper didn't go anywhere besides school, home and his own house.
As a doctor, Carlisle's mind was trained to think of any and all causes for every situation, no matter how unlikely. Keeping an open mind often aided in giving the correct diagnosis. However, Occam's Razor applied in medicine as it did in real life. The most obvious answer was, more often than not, correct. Carlisle's logical mind warred with the side of him that was, after all, just a man. The most obvious answer was that if Edward had not suffered this injury at school and he had most certainly not suffered it under the Cullen's roof - that left only one place he could have gotten those bruises. He hated to even think it, because if it was true, the person who had harmed this innocent child was a man who Carlisle considered a friend. He was a co-worker. He'd been welcomed under this roof and at their table.
He forced himself to say the words. "Was it James?"
Edward drew in a sharp, shuddering breath, a single tear spilling over his cheek. Seconds passed like hours. Finally, he nodded his head once, still not looking up.
Carlisle exhaled in one quick gust, all the air leaving his lungs as invisible hands squeezed his chest. He felt like crying. He felt like throwing up. He felt horribly guilty that he hadn't seen this sooner. "Was this the first time?" He hoped against hope that Edward would say yes. Any parent could make a mistake, even of this proportion. Carlisle would help James - they would talk and it would never happen a-.
Edward shook his head. A tiny movement. No.
"Has he hit Jasper and Bella too?" His tone was harder than he wanted it to be, causing Edward's head to snap up. The fear in his eyes doubled the pressure on Carlisle's chest, making it feel like his heart would literally break. "Please, believe me. I'm not angry at you," he said kindly, forcing the soothing tone back into his voice. Edward calmed slightly, but the wariness did not leave his expression. "Is he hurting them too?" Carlisle repeated.
Dropping his gaze back to the floor, Edward nodded again.
"How long has this been going on?"
Edward chuffed and didn't answer. Carlisle heard the words anyway: too long.
Carlisle leaned forward, his head in his hands as he tried to think.
The silence stretched on between them for a minute, and then two. With his face hidden, Carlisle did not see the look on Edward's face go from frightened to angry. Edward stood suddenly, his arm shooting out and shoving a pile of books off of the desk. Carlisle raised his eyes in surprise.
"What are you going to do?" Edward seethed. "You're going to tell him what I told you, and he's going to spin some story, and you'll believe him." He gave a short, desperate laugh. "Why wouldn't you? You work with him." In a sudden rage, Edward knocked over the chair. "Why did you make me tell you?!"
Carlisle stood, taking a step forward to go to Edward, but just as quickly as the teenager's fury had snapped on, it visibly drained from his face and tense features. The fear was back, stronger than before. Edward immediately dropped to his knees, gathering the books he had upturned. "I'm sorry. Just let me pick it up. I-I-I don't know why-," he tried to explain. But then Carlisle was standing over him. When he did this, Edward's mind went into an instinctive survival mode and, as Carlisle crouched down to help him pick up the books, Edward dropped the ones he had already picked up. He flung himself backward, pressing himself against the wall with his good arm thrown up to protect his head.
His logical mind understood that Carlisle Cullen would never hurt him the way James had. However, logic had little to do with what Edward's mind was doing at that moment. He was panicked because now Carlisle knew and he couldn't take it back. The last time Edward had threatened to tell someone, James had dislocated his shoulder. When James had been hauled into the CPS office a year previous, Jasper had spent days on end hardly able to move afterward. Edward was terrified of what James would do if his colleague accused him of abuse. His consternation had driven him to basic, Pavlovian responses. When he had lashed out in anger before, James had always been quick to strike him down. His natural reaction to Carlisle's presence looming over him was to get as far away as the room would allow and then to make himself as small as possible - making less of himself available to hit.
"Edward," Carlisle said softly. His voice was heavy with sadness. Edward didn't react to his gentle tone. Tentatively, Carlisle put his hand on the boy's shoulder. As he expected, Edward flinched. "Edward," Carlisle repeated. Edward sucked in a sharp breath of air. His body was trembling visibly and Carlisle wanted to hug him. He didn't dare, not knowing what that might trigger. "Listen to me. I'm not going to hurt you. And I believe you. I cannot and will not ignore what's right in front of my eyes."
Unwinding himself, Edward shifted so he was leaning against the wall on his back instead of his side. He looked at Carlisle with trepidation in his eyes. "We'll be fine. Just, please, don't tell him. He'll..." Edward cut himself off, knowing he'd already said too much.
Carlisle knelt down in front of the boy, bringing his face eye-level with him. "I will not let him continue to hurt you."
Edward's eyes searched his and Carlisle could see that he didn't believe him, not really. Not that Carlisle could blame him. He had been betrayed by his birth parents and beaten by his surrogate parent at the very least. Suddenly, the skepticism he had seen in Edward so often over the last year and a half made perfect sense. No, Edward did not take Carlisle at his word - but he could see that he desperately wanted to.
It took Carlisle the better part of an hour to get Edward to open up at all. He hated pressing the boy who was so obviously traumatized, but he needed more information before he could decide what to do. Endeavoring to take someone's child away was not something that could be, or should be, taken lightly.
It was a question about Bella that made the dam in Edward finally break. He went from rigid shoulders, sitting up straight and tense on the couch to suddenly slumping down, his hands over his eyes. "She needs help,' he whispered. Then his face crumpled and he started crying. "I can't help her. I've been trying and I can't help her."
Then Edward couldn't seem to stop crying. In the last three years he had cried, but not like this. He had cried in frustration. He had cried when it hurt too badly not to. He had cried for Jasper and Bella, but never for himself. Now, the floodgates opened and he felt everything that he had been keeping at bay. His terror. His overwhelming sadness. His grief and his anger. His body shook with the sobs that wracked him until he was gasping for breath.
When Carlisle went to him and put his arms around him, Edward didn't hesitate. He clung to the older man like a drowning man clings to a buoy - all desperation and fear.
Beyond words, Edward just sobbed. Each muddled thought that passed through his head seemed to bring on a new wave of hysteria. He cried because he was scared of what James would do to him when he found out. He cried because he hated feeling this weak and this broken. He cried because it had been so long since anyone had been this kind to him that it literally hurt.
Carlisle held him and comforted him as best he could, trying hard to be stoic because he could sense that the boy needed someone else to be strong for once.
It seemed like hours before Edward finally went limp in Carlisle's arms, his tears quieted to the point of hiccups and staccato breaths. Carlisle didn't let him go until Edward pulled himself away, bringing his legs up close to his chest as he tucked himself as far into the corner of the couch as he could go. He felt utterly exposed - naked and vulnerable - and he hated it, but he was too tired to put the walls back up. The weight on his shoulders was suddenly too much to bear and he felt too bowed and broken to move under the force of it. He took the water bottle Carlisle offered him and drank almost all of it at once, parched from the rawness in his throat.
They sat in silence for another few minutes, Carlisle just offering his presence without pushing.
Then, Edward started talking - his voice uncharacteristically and heartbreakingly small. He spoke without looking up, like he was ashamed of something. Like he had anything to be ashamed of. He told Carlisle everything.
Carlisle listened, asking soft questions when he needed to and trying desperately not to cry. He wished fervently that he could take away Edward's hurt and fear and let him be the carefree teenager he should have been. The more he heard, the more he needed to set things right for the three teenagers he cared for.
When Edward was finally talked out, Carlisle could see his eyes drooping. He looked ragged and utterly exhausted. Carlisle gently encouraged him to go up to the guest room on the third floor and take a nap. Edward had nodded and trudged out the door and up the stairs. He looked so completely defeated that Carlisle's heart ached painfully as he watched him go.
Hearing the door to the office open, Esme came down the hallway. She found Carlisle leaning against the wall, his head in his hands. She went to him and he pulled her into his embrace, hugging her fiercely. "We've been so blind,' he whispered, finally crying his own tears - his heart broken for the things these kids had suffered while he had been entirely oblivious.
When Jasper and Bella arrived home from school, Carlisle called them into his office. Edward was already there. He was looking down at his shoes and didn't acknowledge their presence. They were instantly on edge.
Carlisle asked Jasper to see his left wrist. Confused, Jasper held it out. Carlisle twisted it carefully, frowning to himself. "It didn't set right," he said with a small sigh. He released Jasper's wrist and raised his eyes to look both him and Bella in the eye.
He told them that he knew about James and they both looked as panicked as Edward had. Just as he had done with Edward, Carlisle tried to reassure them that he was going to help them.
To that end, he told them that he wanted all three of them to come live in the Cullen house. Permanently.
Even Edward's head snapped up, not expecting that.
He had already been on the phone with his lawyer already. Edward and Bella were not much of a problem. Carlisle and Esme had already gone through most of the clearances they needed to become foster parents in order to be able to let them stay over for the week. Jasper was a little trickier. Carlisle didn't want to risk sending him back to his father for even a night. "I'm trying to have it figured out by the time he gets home. If I don't have something figured out by Friday," he trailed off. "Well. I'll buy him off if I have to."
"You don't have to do that," Jasper said, so quietly he could hardly be heard. He took a deep breath and thought hard about Bella's episodes, and how he would do anything to stop her from suffering through them, but he still couldn't say the next without fear strangling his words. "Just get them out. I'll be fine. I'll survive."
Carlisle shook his head firmly. "No. You're not meant to just survive, Jasper. You deserve more than that, and I'm certainly not going to turn the other cheek and pretend your father isn't hurting you."
"What are you going to tell Alice and Emmett?" Bella whispered. She was huddling on the couch between both of the boys but not leaning into either of them. Her arms were wrapped around her chest.
Carlisle paused. "That's entirely up to you. What do you want me to tell them?"
None of them answered and Carlisle spoke again. "My son and my niece love you. I encourage you to trust them with this. They'll still love you afterward. That I feel confident in promising."
And he was right. They requested that Esme and Carlisle have that particular conversation when they talked to Alice and Emmett about the three moving in. When Alice and Emmett emerged from Carlisle's office Alice was obviously crying and Emmett was, for once, not smiling.
Alice was angry at first. She went straight to Jasper, standing on her tip toes to get in his face. "How could you not tell me?!"
"Alice!" Esme chastised, obviously surprised.
Jasper had stared back at her with huge, sorrowful eyes, unable to speak. He felt like a failure. He felt like his father was right and he wasn't a man.
But then Alice had thrown herself into his arms. "When you pulled away...when I thought I squeezed you too tight?" she asked, looking up at him.
Understanding what she was asking, Jasper nodded his head. "Yes."
"And last Christmas? Your wrist...that wasn't from skiing."
Jasper shook his head. "No."
"Oh, God. Why didn't I see it?" Alice cried.
"Alice," Jasper whispered into her hair, holding her as his knees gave out and they sunk to the floor together. He was so grateful she wasn't running from him. "I didn't want you to know."
***
They'd spent most of the rest of the night crying and talking. They had all cried - or Emmett had looked like he wanted to. Even Rosalie, though she was a stranger to them, had words of encouragement and comfort for them.
Because they were all so emotionally charged that day, Carlisle got Alice, Jasper and Bella excused from school.
Instead of going to class that Wednesday found Jasper and Bella entering James' house for potentially the last time. Edward had gone with Emmett and Rosalie in Emmett's Jeep to get a few boxes so they could pack what little they had.
"You're quiet," Jasper observed as he walked inside with Bella.
"I don't know what to think," Bella mumbled back. "It doesn't feel real." As they got to the stairs she reached out to squeeze his hand. "And I'm worried for you. I think Carlisle can keep Edward and me out of this house - but what about you? What if he can't keep James away from you? You're his," she said fretfully.
Scared of that himself, Jasper didn't answer. They'd reached the top of the steps then and Bella let go of his hand.
They were about to go into their respective rooms when the sound of a door opening made them both pause. They looked up, shocked to see Felix standing in the doorway. For a moment, the man appeared shocked. Then a slow smile spread across his face.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jasper demanded, furious at the way Felix was looking at Bella. "You don't belong here."
Felix scoffed, turning his gaze away from Bella to glare at Jasper contemptuously. "Not that I need to answer to you, you little prick, but James offered me the use of his room while he was away."
"Jasper," Bella's voice was hardly more than a whisper. "Let's go. Come on, let's just go." She had come up beside him and was squeezing his hand so hard that Jasper thought she might actually hurt him.
"Aww," Felix said, deliberately moving between them and the stairs, "What's your hurry, baby? You aren't happy to see me?"
Bella whimpered, and Jasper pulled her close to him in response, narrowing his eyes at Felix. He took a calming breath, forcing himself to keep his voice steady despite the fear he was feeling. "Get out of the way. We're leaving."
Instead, Felix moved closer to them. He didn't acknowledge Jasper at all, his eyes focused solely on Bella. "You feel free to leave, boy. You and your boyfriend get to have her enough. Now it's finally my turn."
He reached out then, grabbing Bella's arm and Bella cried out, terrified, trying to jerk away from him. "Don't touch me!' she screamed.
"Look at you, putting up such an act. You know you like it when I touch you. You know how wet you get for me," Felix growled, tugging her out of Jasper's arms and pulling her against his chest. Bella strained to get away from him, her hands pushing on his broad chest, trying to find leverage.
Felix's words sunk into Jasper's shocked mind slowly. Suddenly, Bella's deteriorating mental stability over the last few months made sense. All of it made sense. Her extreme anxiety when Felix was in the house. The way that, even though she had always been irritated at his and Edward's need to protect her, she had sought them out to go downstairs with her if she needed something when Felix was there. The way Felix looked at her. Everything made sense and he was furious at himself for not seeing it sooner.
"Get your hands off her!" Jasper shouted, enraged. He was on Felix in a matter of seconds, trying to push his way between him and Bella.
Felix pushed Bella backward, sending her sprawling to the ground of the hallway. He caught Jasper's fist in one huge palm. Jasper threw himself forward, catching Felix off guard so that he stumbled backward, hitting the opposite wall. Infuriated, Felix grabbed Jasper by his shirt. Though Jasper was very tall, Felix was taller and so he was able to lift Jasper right off of his feet. "That was a bad move, boy. You I can break."
With that, Felix walked a few feet and threw Jasper backward - right down the stairs. Bella screamed, watching in horror as Jasper flew over open space before hitting the stairs hard about five steps down. He tumbled, his limbs flailing, and crashed straight through the banister. He landed with a sickening thud on the floor of the living room, sprawled with his leg jutting out at an unnatural angle and splinters of wood everywhere. His head was turned to the side, blood beginning to pool around it almost immediately. His eyes were closed.
"Jasper!" Bella screamed. She climbed to her feet and tried to run forward - desperate to get to him - and screamed again when Felix's arm wrapped around her waist, dragging her back.
She flailed in his iron grip, but Felix was too strong. "Let me go! He's hurt! I need to help him!" Without even grunting in effort he lifted her up, tossing her over one shoulder as he turned around.
She realized they were heading for her room and began pounding her fists against Felix's broad back, utterly panicked for Jasper and herself. "Let go!" she screeched, trying to kick her legs.
Felix slammed her down so hard on her bed that all the air left her lungs in a rush. Bella was momentarily stunned as Felix quickly straddled her. His hand came down, clamping over her mouth and squeezing her cheeks painfully, effectively muffling her shrieking. "You cooperate now, and don't make me hurt you. James won't be pleased as it is - but he'll get over it."
It was too much. Her mind was blank save for the terror and the manta that screamed inside her. No, no, no. Not this. Please. She shook her head, frantically trying to loosen Felix's hand. She started to flail again, scratching and kicking and punching him as hard as she could. It seemed to be annoying him more than hurting him, though a few red claw marks had appeared on his cheek.
He lifted his hand off her mouth so her wailing was audible again. "Shut up!" he demanded as he grabbed her hands by her wrists, squeezing so hard that Bella cried out in pain. He pushed her arms down and pinned both of her wrists in one of his hands against her chest. He slapped her hard with his free hand, again and again until she went limp on the bed, dazed and quieted by his blows.
"You just couldn't make it easier on yourself, could you, you dumb bitch," he muttered, letting go of her wrists. Her arms fell lifelessly on either side of her head as she cried quietly, trying to shake off the stupor. Felix moved his hands to her shirt. The ripping sound as he yanked her shirt open was deafening in Bella's ears, matched only by her heart thundering out of her chest. In a haze, her mind could not react with any kind of coherency.
***
For the first time that he could remember, Edward was anxious to get back to James' house. It felt wrong to be away from Bella and Jasper at the moment.
He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
Finally, Emmett pulled into the driveway. Edward jumped out almost before Emmett had put the brakes on. He nearly sprinted to the door.
When he got inside, his heart stopped and he froze for the space of an endless second. "Jasper!" he yelled and ran forward before falling to his knees at his foster- brother's side.
At first, Edward was positive that Jasper was dead. The blood that seeped from a large wound that started on his forehead and arced back into his hairline was everywhere. It saturated Jasper's blond hair and spread around his head like a macabre, tilted halo. When Edward reached out, instinctively trying to staunch the blood flow by clamping his hand down on Jasper's wound, the other boy's eyes flew open. He groaned loudly in pain.
By then Emmett and Rosalie had made it inside and had taken in the situation. "Jesus!" Emmett exclaimed. "Rosalie, call 9-1-1."
Jasper's lips were moving but no sound came out at first but a soft, "Buh," that was no more than a breath.
Then a bloodcurdling shriek from upstairs made it obvious what Jasper was trying to say. Bella.
Before he could even process what he was doing, Edward was on his feet and running up the stairs. His mind was blank save for the panic and the need to get to Bella. He didn't even register Emmett's footfalls right behind him.
Initially, all Edward could see was Felix's huge form kneeling on the bed, his back to the door. Then he became acutely aware of what Felix was doing. One of his hands was holding Bella's head like a basketball player palmed a basketball. Her face was turned to the side so that Edward couldn't see her but she was screaming. Her shirt was torn open to her shoulders and Felix's other hand was at the front of her jeans, obviously trying to get them off of her as she struggled.
She was so tiny in contrast with Felix. Tiny and fragile and Felix was trying to break her.
With a yell of fury Edward ran across the room, barreling into Felix hard enough that they both went tumbling to the floor. Felix automatically pushed back, forcing Edward away from him. Edward was about to go for him again but suddenly Emmett was there, fists flying at Felix. "Help Bella," Emmett commanded as they scuffled.
Diverted, Edward's eyes searched for Bella. She wasn't on the bed any longer. As soon as Felix's weight had left her she had tried to run but her legs wouldn't hold her. She had pressed herself into the corner of the room, her legs hunched up close to her body and her hands clutching the tattered pieces of her shirt together. Her head was down, pressing against her knees and he could see that her body was shaking hard even from across the room.
He ran to her, kneeling beside her. She let out a wordless wail, flinching away when she felt his presence beside her. "Bella, it's me. You're okay. You're okay," he repeated.
Behind him, Felix and Emmett were shouting as they fought. Felix was slightly bigger and had more experience in fights but Emmett was younger and livid. They seemed to be fairly evenly matched.
Of course - Felix had never liked even odds. As soon as he found a break in Emmett's blows he'd stood and bolted from the room. Emmett was right on his heels.
Meanwhile, Edward had unbuttoned his jacket and was trying to place it around Bella's shoulders. He brushed at her hair, trying to get it out of her eyes so he could see her face. She raised her head as he did and Edward gasped.
Much of the left side of Bella's face was red and swollen from where Felix had hit her. Rage rushed through Edward, making it difficult to even move. He felt like if he moved he would run after Felix so he could rip him apart with his bare hands. But an equal part of him knew that Bella needed him more than he needed to see Felix hurt. She was obviously scared out of her mind.
"Come here, baby. It's okay," he coaxed, his hands wrapping around her fingers, trying to get her to loosen her hold on her shirt. He worked his fingers under hers slowly, murmuring softly to her the entire time and trying to get her to concentrate on his words instead of the shouting downstairs.
Abruptly, she let go of the torn fabric and let him put his arms around her. "Is Jasper dead?" she whispered numbly.
"No, sweetheart. Rosalie is with him. He's alive and help's going to be here really soon, okay?" As if to verify his words, they could hear sirens in the distance.
It felt odd to Bella that at a time like this - when she'd been beaten and Jasper was badly hurt - that the first thing that crossed her numb mind was that her father's old co-workers would be pulling up to the house and seeing her in this state. Shame burned through her, bringing with it a torrent of tears.
She wrapped her arms around Edward, clinging to him for dear life as the events she'd just survived crashed over her.
***
The aftermath was confusing.
It turned out that, as Felix had run down the stairs, Rosalie had cold clocked him right in the face, breaking his nose. She had also gotten him good with the mace she always carried in her purse. The pain Felix experienced was all the worse as the mace hit the scratch marks Bella had left below his eyes. He was incapacitated long enough that the police were able to get him in handcuffs before he could move out of the fetal position he was in on the floor.
Jasper's wounds, while looking grisly, were not life threatening. The ambulance arrived right after the police, the medics more concerned with his state of semi-consciousness than the blood. His head was cracked and required stitches, but the blood was worse than it looked - head wounds always bleeding profusely. They had put him in a neck brace though while they loaded him onto the stretcher and into the ambulance.
Edward would not come downstairs with Bella until Felix had been hauled away. By then she had changed into a fresh shirt. He'd had to convince her not to take a shower, knowing that the hospital would want to check her out even if Felix had ultimately been unable to follow through on his desires. He had nearly bitten the head off a medic who approached her, scaring her, before assuring them that she didn't have any wounds they needed to check out right then. Apologetic, the medic had handed Edward a blanket that he wrapped around Bella's shoulders before getting into the ambulance with her and Jasper.
Time passed in a blur at the hospital.
Jasper, of course, was worse off. His head required an obscene amount of stitches. His leg was fractured and his ribs and spinal chord had been bruised. He'd been sedated so his doctors could measure the severity of any spine or neck injuries without risking him making it worse.
Edward refused to be separated from Bella after a nurse tried to talk to her about an internal exam. Bella had started panicking and Edward had started yelling until Carlisle came and ushered them both into a quiet room. When Edward had calmed Bella down enough, Carlisle had spoken to her, assuring her that no one would have to touch her as long as she could assure them that Felix hadn't raped her. After a great deal of coaxing, she did let a nurse collect the skin and blood from underneath her fingernails so that they had the additional evidence against Felix.
Esme came in, looking teary eyed. She'd bought an entirely new outfit for Bella and put it in the bathroom attached to the private hospital room, telling her that Carlisle had said she could take a shower if she wanted.
Before long they were all gathered in the private room, Jasper included though he was intensely groggy. Edward and Bella sat side by side on the other bed in the room. Alice and Esme sat on either side of Jasper's bed, Alice holding his hand. Emmett and Rosalie were in chairs in the far corner of the room. Emmett's lip was split and his cheek was bruised from his fight with Felix. He had his arms crossed, looking more like a sentinel than anything else. He looked ready to kick the ass of anyone who dared try to hurt his friends again.
That was how Carlisle found them when he stepped in the door, a pensive expression on his face. He closed the door behind him and moved to where he could look Edward and Bella in the eye. "I'm admitting you both to the hospital," he began quietly. He held up one finger when Bella opened her mouth to protest, imploring her to wait.
"The police just informed me that, as per their regulations, they called James quite a while ago. He should be here shortly." He could see that Edward, Bella and Jasper looked utterly terrified at the prospect of being faced with James after the day they'd had. "Checking you into the hospital gives me a measure of control. I assume you don't want to let the social services people take you?" he asked Edward and Bella.
They both shook their heads quickly. Carlisle nodded. "I'm not going to let him in here, okay? You don't have to worry."
"Aren't the police going to take him away?" Alice said angrily.
Carlisle grimaced sadly. "Not yet, Alice. Right now, all they know is that Felix was the only one that did anything."
Bella winced at Felix's name, flinching as if she had been physically struck. Edward tightened his arm around her.
Carlisle's pager went off and he looked down at it. "He's here," he said grimly. "Just stay in here, no matter what, okay?"
Carlisle could see the panic written all over their faces, like they were milliseconds away from bolting. For what felt like the millionth time that day his heart broke. They were just kids. The terror etched into their expressions was unfathomable. The things they must have been through for James' mere presence to cause this reaction... "Listen to me. I swear he won't ever hurt you again, alright?" He looked at each of them in turn. He could see they didn't believe him, not really, but still they each put their trust in him. Given what they had been through, it was a profound gift. The need to protect them swelled in him.
"I'm coming with you," Emmett said, from the corner of the room he'd been occupying quietly. Carlisle's heart gave another pang. His son, who so rarely stopped smiling, now looked angry. Calm, but angry. He could see the same desire reflecting in him - the need to protect the three terribly wounded children Emmett had come to know as friends.
"So am I," Rosalie said, stepping forward beside Emmett. The look in her eyes made her just as fierce and intimidating as Emmett's muscular frame did him.
Carlisle nodded at them both. "Let me do the talking," he commanded firmly.
It seemed like forever and the length of a heartbeat all at once before they heard a familiar step echoing down the hall of the hospital. Each footfall felt like a reckoning. As James got closer, his footsteps slowed. They became uncertain. Finally he was standing in front of the trio at the door. His face showed nothing but concern.
"Carlisle...they said my son was in this room. And Edward and Bella too?" he asked, sounding for all the world like the concerned father he should have been. "I don't know what happened. The police just said I should come here. Are they alright?"
"No," Carlisle said evenly. "They're not. But they will be. Now I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Carlisle, what's going on? Why are you acting this way?" James asked, confusion infused into his tone. He was definitely a skilled actor.
Carlisle's voice was low, and threatening. "You're not getting near them again. Ever."
At this, James' eyes narrowed. "I don't know what it is you're accusing me of, but you can't keep me away from my own son."
"You can drop the pretense," Carlisle said, his normally gentle voice hard with the fury he was struggling to contain. "I know what you are. I've seen it for myself. Jasper has a wrist bone that never quite set right."
James was glaring now, his mask beginning to crumble. "As many things as I've seen here, I have the right to keep him out of the hospital. Yes, he broke his wrist, but he has full functionality of it. I didn't need a hospital to keep him in casts forever."
"You might have been within your rights to keep your own child from getting medical attention, but you don't have the same rights with Edward and Bella. Edward's X-rays show signs of mended bones that aren't on record at the hospital." Carlisle leaned closer to James looking more menacing than anyone would have thought him capable of. "And I have pictures of the bruises that were on Edward's body that were not put there by Mike Newton, as a cafeteria full of students can attest to."
The two men stared at each other, neither one of them willing to back down. After a moment James tried to step around Carlisle, but Emmett stepped right up into his face, blocking his path. Rosalie also moved to stand on the other side of Carlisle, looking every bit as menacing as her boyfriend when she stared at James.
"Carlisle, I swear to God, if you don't let me in this room-," James started through clenched teeth.
"You'll what?" Carlisle spat back. "Are you going to try to hit me like you hit them anytime they pissed you off?"
Carlisle glanced over James' shoulder in time to see two uniformed officers walking toward them. He turned back to James' livid face. "I think there are people here to see you, anyway."
James looked over to see what he was talking about. His eyes narrowed when he saw the officers. He turned back to Carlisle, his face twisted with rage, and reared back to punch him.
Everything happened at once then. Emmett stepped in between his father and James as the officers rushed forward. James' fist glanced off Emmett's shoulder instead of hitting his intended target and the officers yanked him backward. The next second James had been pushed up against the opposite wall as one officer yanked his arms behind his back, slapping handcuffs around his wrist. "James Whitlock, you are under arrest for drug possession, and now for assault," one of the officers growled.
The officer holding James took over reading him his Miranda rights while hauling him a ways off while the first officer turned back to Carlisle. "I'm Officer Marks," he introduced himself. "I understand the Whitlock kids have been staying with you?"
Carlisle nodded. "Yes. Hopefully they'll be staying with me on a long term basis."
"I think that'd be best all around, doc." Officer Marks said tightly. He motioned over his shoulder at James. "As it turned out, Mr. Whitlock here had a large amount of drugs, prescription and otherwise, in the house. We have him on that for now, but we'll see what else we find out."
"You have the photos I faxed you, I trust?" Carlisle asked.
A grimace passed over Officer Marks' face, his tough bravado faltering for a second. "We're going to try to make that stick for sure. I'll keep you updated."
"I'd appreciate that," Carlisle replied.
Before he headed to his car where James was already in the back seat, Officer Marks paused. "You know - the Chief would be turning over in his grave if he knew what kind of a monster his daughter ended up with. Bella's like a surrogate daughter to all of us on the force. We failed her. We failed all of them."
"He had us all fooled," Carlisle murmured, understanding the regret on the other man's face.
Officer Marks nodded. "Well. You take care of them, Doc."
"You know I will."
A/N: Are we breathing?
I know you have questions. They will be answered, hopefully, next chapter.
I'm thinking I might have to do an outtake detailing some sort of Greek Myth form of torture for James, Felix and Victoria - nothing I ever to do them will be enough - but we'll talk plenty more about them and their fate in the last chapter. I'm hoping to post both the last chapter and the Epilogue by next weekend...but I may be in a Remember Me induced coma. We'll see.
Thank you to DizzyGrl28 for middle of the night editing, CellaCullen for "flow reading" and JadedandBoring for hand-holding/shoulder crying.
I'm fairly desperate to know what you thought about this chapter...so...let me know.