I know it's been forever since the last chapter. Thank you all so much for your support, your messages to check on the progress of this chapter, and your continued excitement for this story. I hope you enjoy!
Our Best Selves - Chapter Ten
She hears him coming before he emerges from her bedroom. Knowing Castle, he was probably trying to be sneaky, trying to creep up behind her and blow a raspberry on her neck, but the squeaky floorboard in the center of her room gives him away.
"Mmm, hey, you're up early."
Her lips curve at his rumbled, sleepy greeting, and she marks her place in the journal she'd found herself drawn to this morning, turning on her bar stool to beckon him closer.
"Couldn't sleep any later and I didn't want to wake you. You looked worn out. Was I too rough with you, old man?" she teases, reaching out to draw him between her knees.
Rick's large hands frame her face as he lowers his head to hers for a slow kiss. She lifts into him, humming in appreciation for the easy swipe of his tongue over her lips. She'd fallen asleep last night on a high, dizzied from the rush of Rick Castle's mouth against hers, his hands on her body, and his kiss only reignites that heady feeling.
"Funny, but no. I did sleep like a rock, though, so you definitely exhausted me, Captain."
"Mmm, sorry." She's not sorry she was able to do that. Not even a little sorry.
His lips curve against hers. "Liar."
"Yeah, maybe." She grins, swiping her hands along his sides. "You want coffee?"
His palms slip from her cheeks, making an agonizing path over her shoulders and down her sides. She gasps when his fingers dip lower, past the edge of her nightshirt, skimming the length of her thighs and curling around the backs of her knees, holding her against him.
"I have a better idea, I think. Wanna go back to bed? Skip the coffee for now?" he rumbles, taking another kiss from her mouth. Deeper, more insistent. His tongue slicks between her lips, robbing her of the opportunity to respond at first.
Not that she needs words. Not when her arms slip around his neck or her tongue chases his. Not when her legs lock at the ankle around his waist, resting against the top of his ass.
But she speaks anyway, gives him a sinfully low confirmation, as she encourages him to lift her off the stool. "Yes please."
The next time she wakes, it's with him pressed along the length of her back. From her shoulders to her feet, he's there, his arm slung heavy around her waist, fingers curled between her breasts. He's not asleep, but he's still matching his breathing with hers, waiting for her to return to awareness.
"Kate," he whispers, trailing his lips along the back of her neck. "Ka-ate, I know you're awake."
A breathy laugh slips from her. "Stop, Rick. That tickles."
He does it again, lighter this time, chuckling into her skin when her arm flails backward to swat at him.
"Jerk."
"Mmm, jerk's gonna make coffee. Want some?"
More coffee sounds great. Especially if he brings it to her in bed and doesn't make her move until the heater has taken care of the chill from the floorboards.
"Please," she agrees, slipping a hand over his to keep him from moving. Call her fickle, but she doesn't want him to go right now. "But in a bit, not yet."
Rick nods, sinking against her back once more. She loves this part of being with him: the moments when they're curled together, just existing with one another, letting their skin whisper what they can't, won't, don't say.
"Do you want me to bring the book when I come back?" he rumbles a few minutes later, clearly having caught a new train of thought without her.
"Hmm?" One eye peeks open once more. Not that she can see anything but the lines of her dresser from here, but the effort is there. "What book?"
Rick's fingers squeeze hers. "The one you were reading when I walked out earlier."
"Oh, uh, sure. Sure, grab it if you have enough hands. If you don't, that's okay."
Truthfully, she's not sure she would read it even if he brought it to her. As much as they share, it feels like a little too much still.
Something about the morning had tugged her out of bed, leading her to the shelf in her office nook where she keeps some of her mom's things. Her fingers had closed on her mom's journal before she really even registered touching the supple leather, and the book had stayed in the crook of her arm as she made her first cup of coffee and settled at her kitchen island.
"Kate?"
"Mmm?" Twisting, she finds Rick watching her. Oh, she must have missed something. He always makes that put-upon little boy pout if he thinks she's not listening. "Sorry, repeat that."
Her hand lifts, thumb brushing his lower lip in apology.
"Just asked if you wanted breakfast, too."
Her head shakes. "No. Ah, no thanks."
Rick nods, lowering his chin in acquiescence. "Kay. I just wanted to offer."
Pulling him in, she smudges her mouth over his. "Let's go out for breakfast. After coffee. And once I've decided I'm done having my way with you for the morning," she adds, rubbing their noses together.
"So breakfast for lunch," he teases, taking an unhurried kiss from her mouth. Her heart trips in her chest, hopeful and eager just to be near him. "Think they call that brunch."
Flinging a leg around him, her hips bump his. "Does it matter what it's called? It's the meal we're going to eat after we have more sex."
Rick grunts, rolling the rest of the way onto his back and pulling her over him. "You always have the best ideas."
Eventually, they emerge from her bedroom, hair damp from a shower, eyes fixed on the coffee maker at the back of her kitchen.
Rick's hand slips down her back, chivalrous and sweet until the moment he settles his palm on her ass. She can't help but laugh, leaning into his side. Although she hadn't been in a bad mood when she woke up, she's in a much better one now, ass grabs and all.
"I'll make the coffee," he volunteers, his voice lifting higher than normal as her hand skirts down his hip to cop a feel of her own.
"Mmm good. You make it better than I do." She leans in with a grin, smacking a kiss against his jaw.
He preens in response, swooping around the island and reaching for her mug from earlier. She slips onto a stool, watching the lines of his back through his t-shirt. Her fingers twitch in memory of tracing those lines, of feeling every bunch and ripple of muscle as she gripped him tightly.
"See something you like, Captain?" he calls over his shoulder, never faltering in his task to measure the perfect amount of coffee.
"Uh huh, my coffee in production."
He scoffs, shifting his hips. "I think you see more than that."
A giggle works its way between her lips. Good lord, this is what this man does to her. She actually giggles now. "You're right. I see the muffins I picked up yesterday. I might have one to tide me over until brunch."
Rick spins, narrowing his eyes at her. "You're hilarious, Beckett. But they do look delicious, so split one with me?"
Kate grins, already sliding from her perch. "I'll get it while you craft your masterpiece."
Swinging around the island, she scoots past him to grab the muffins. "Should we split one or just have one each?"
Castle turns, catching her lips for a kiss. "Either works for me. Having my own won't spoil my appetite."
"Well, you certainly worked hard enough," she teases, curling her fingers in his jeans pocket. "I'll cut two, then we can eat whatever we want and save the rest if there is any."
"I am so happy you think so. And that works." He kisses her again, releasing her to settle the filter in the coffee maker. "You know, for your birthday, I think you deserve an upgrade for this thing."
For her birthday.
Her smile falters just a tad.
It shouldn't be a big deal, not really. Her birthdays have never bothered her in the past, not even her thirtieth. And yet for some reason, she woke up this morning with this birthday on her mind.
She has a good life. Despite his troubles in the past, her father is in good health and they've managed to rebuild their relationship. She's successful at work, she's mending fences with her friends, and Richard Castle himself has wormed his way into her life and her heart. Her life is beyond good.
But something about her thirty-fifth birthday has her on edge.
It's what made her seek out her mother's journal, hoping maybe Johanna had imparted some wisdom about the birthday and what it had meant to her. She'd learned that her six-year-old self had gifted her mother a homemade picture frame and her father had brought Johanna flowers at work, taking her out for a romantic lunch in lieu of a large dinner they would've needed a babysitter to accommodate. The affection had been obvious in her mom's words, but even that hadn't helped her sort out her own thoughts.
"Kate?" This time he nudges her out of her contemplation, too.
She lifts her head. "Yeah? Sorry, just… thinking about my birthday."
"Good things, I hope. Let me tell you, you will love what I have planned."
"I – wait, you planned something?" she stutters, lowering the knife to the counter. "Rick, you didn't plan something plan something, did you?"
"Like a surprise party? No. Why? Oh! Did you want one? Cause I can make that happen. Of course, it won't be a surprise if you know I'm planning it, but –"
She cuts him off with a rapid shake of her head. "No, no, please don't. I just meant… anything, really. Did you make a big deal out of this?"
Rick's brow furrows. "No? I just… I mean I bought you a present. And I have – well I made reservations, but I can change those if you want me to. I just thought I should do something nice for you…"
Relief floods her belly. "No, no – that sounds really good. Just you and me?"
He nods, quiet caution etched across his face. "Of course. You know we don't take Esposito nice places."
Kate snickers, feeling her blood heat once more. He can be so damn sweet sometimes.
Stepping into his side, she slides her lips over the corner of his mouth. "That sounds great, Rick. Just you and me."
"Oh, it will be great. Trust me, Kate; Alexis always said I was great at birthdays."
"I do," she promises, pressing her forehead to the line of his jaw. He'll make her birthday less confusing. Hell, she already knows he'll make it fun – more fun than any of her adult birthdays have been so far. "I trust you."
Rick shivers, pride vibrating through his chest. He knows what he can do for her.
"So," he clears his throat finally, turning to put the finishing touches on her coffee. "What do you have in mind for our outing today? After brunch at the café, of course."
"Maybe a walk?" she suggests, glancing over to find his eyes fixed on her mug. He always puts so much care and effort into the beverage.
"Perfect," he agrees, passing a steaming mug to her. "In the park?"
Kate lifts a shoulder, holding the coffee close to her lips. It smells heavenly, tastes even better, and means so much more than that. Every sip feels like a kiss, a caress from his mouth to hers.
"Wherever. The park, through the village, both, neither. I'm not picky."
Her boyfriend nods, lifting his own coffee to his lips. "Kay."
"Kay," she echoes, offering him a bite of muffin. "Oh, and then maybe we can duck into the grocery store? I'll make your favorite for dinner if you brave Whole Foods with me."
It's a shameless ploy, an outright bribe for suffering through the grocery store on the weekend, but he doesn't seem bothered by the payoff. In fact, the offer has him lighting up.
"You mean it?"
"I mean it," she promises, popping a piece of muffin into her mouth. "I'll even make enough for us to take for lunch tomorrow."
Rick grins, leaning his hip against the counter. "For the most delicious meal I've ever tasted, I think I can be courageous."
The November air is crisp, but they stroll for hours, arms linked when their hands aren't laced. His shoulder provides a warm rest for her cheek when the wind picks up, and more than once he pulls her closer, fisting his hand in her hoodie to keep her body against his as his mouth works over hers.
Her heart feels lighter with each kiss.
The heavy feeling she'd woken with has dissolved completely by the time Rick tugs her onto a rock in Central Park and rests his chin on her shoulder. They people watch from their perch, trading stories of fantastical love affairs and practical business transactions, battling to convince the other that they're right.
Chuckling, her fingers slide over his knuckles. "She's not a spy, Castle. She's an investigator for the DA."
"Isn't that kind of the same thing, though? It's just sanctioned spying."
"But doesn't that kill some of the appeal?" she teases, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. "Having permission to do it? I thought part of the allure was asking for forgiveness, not permission. Isn't that how it works for you, Ricky?"
Rick scoffs. "I'll have you know that there is plenty of appeal either way." As if to prove his point, he trails a fingertip down her side, dipping into her hoodie pocket, caressing her through her clothes.
Her head knocks against his, a reminder to behave. "Sure there is."
The way his chest moves tells her he has more to say on that subject, but he refrains. Instead, he clears his throat, pointing out another stranger and spinning their story for her.
After a while, someone catches on to their scrutiny. The woman gives them a dirty look when they fail to look contrite, leaving Kate to hide a guffaw in Castle's arm as she flounces off.
"Oops."
Rick chuckles. "Yeah, that happens sometimes. You should've seen the look I got one time when I mentioned the baby being due and the woman wasn't pregnant."
"Oh no."
He nods. "Oh yes. If she could've harnessed the power of telekinesis, I would've been wearing the coffee I had in my hand that day."
She laughs again, squeezing his arm. "Well that is kind of what you get for assuming she was pregnant, Rick."
The sigh he heaves is loud, put-upon, and fake. "Well, my mother did always say that was my worst quality."
Kate snorts. "Not the inability to listen?"
She squirms away from his tickling fingers.
"Hey, I listen. Sometimes I just choose not to heed."
"Ah, therein lies the difference," she teases, leaning her cheek against his arm once more.
"Pretty much."
"Mmm." She nods, stroking her fingers lightly over his wrist. "Speaking of mothers, the book earlier? It was my mom's journal." She hadn't intended to tell him, but lulled by his warmth and his closeness, the confession spills from her lips.
Rick nods, settling his palm against her belly. "Yeah?"
Tugging her lip between her teeth, she nods. "I just… sometimes I read it when I wonder what she would have to say about things."
He makes a thoughtful noise. "Your birthday?"
Twisting, she catches his eyes. "How did you –"
One of his shoulders lifts. Six months ago, he would've gloated about pinpointing her troubles, but now he simply regards her with soft, affectionate eyes. "It's the only thing you've seemed upset about lately. You kinda froze when I mentioned it earlier."
Her head dips. "Yeah, I guess I did. And that, that wasn't you, I promise. I'm –"
"Beckett, are you having a third life crisis? Am I your third-life crisis?" he interrupts, the question just absurd enough to lighten things once more. "I feel like such a trophy."
Mirth pitches her sideways. It's all she can do not to fall off the rock, but she manages to right herself at the last possible second.
Forcing back another peal of laughter, she coughs into her hand.
"Yes," she drawls, sucking in a deep breath. "That's exactly it. You're my third-life crisis. My trophy boyfriend."
"I knew it. You picked me because I'm ruggedly handsome, isn't it?"
"Don't forget modest."
He grins, slipping his hand into hers. "Of course."
"This is just new for me," she admits, thumbing his knuckles. "Having someone on my birthday is new. Makes it feel bigger than just being another year older. So I looked to see what my mom had to say about that."
Rick plays with her fingers, tilting his head. "So what'd she say? If you want to tell me, that is."
"Not much. It was a non-milestone birthday. It was a pretty normal day. I was little, she and my dad were still working together, but I think having us with her to celebrate made the day feel more joyful, full."
His lips curl against her temple. "Then that's what we'll do for you, Kate. Give you a day that's joyful and full."
Cuddling closer, she nods. He'll make that happen. Even if her day is spent working a triple homicide, he'll somehow find a way to make it joyful and full.
"Kay. Plus dinner and the present you got me, of course."
Looping his arm around her once more, Castle chuckles into her hair. "And those things, too."
He buys her a cherry flavored snow cone as they start making their way home, pressing the flimsy cup into her hand even as he turns back to the vendor to accept his own blue raspberry flavored shaved ice. It's a silly treat, but she indulges him after their conversation on the rock.
Within minutes, her mouth is numb. Every time she tries to speak, her words end up slurred and unintelligible, which only makes her boyfriend laugh at her attempts. Not that he's much better off; his replies come from clumsy blue lips.
Blue lips she can't help but kiss before continuing on to Whole Foods.
Things get dicey a few times, but they manage to survive the grocery store, returning to her place with full bags and sore feet. Rick's fingers curl around her elbow as she lifts her cargo onto the counter, giving her a gentle nudge toward the couch.
"Go sit, Kate. I'll put everything away."
"It's faster if we both do it," she protests, shaking feeling back into her hand.
"Yeah, but you're going to stand again in a little while to make dinner. So my turn; you rest now."
Her mouth opens to reply, but he beats her to that, too.
"Teamwork, Beckett."
"It's still teamwork if I help you right now, you know. In fact, I think that's the textbook definition of teamwork."
"True, that's completely true, and it is so hot that you're quoting definitions at me. But let's do it this way." He grins, unrepentant. "We'll use the second part of the definition – working toward the common interest of the group."
"You're such a pain in the ass," she mutters, shaking her head. It lacks actual malice, though, and his arm snakes around her waist to steal a firm kiss from her mouth.
"Yeah, I know. But I'm your pain in the ass."
Her fingers curl beneath his collar, delighting in the gentle warmth of his skin. He is, isn't he? All hers.
She feigns contemplation. "I suppose that's true. It has been pretty tough to get rid of you."
Rick chuckles, swiping a thumb across her cheek. "You say that like you'd want to."
Narrowing her eyes, she pokes at his chest. "Don't fish for compliments, Rick."
His mouth busses hers once more. "Fine. We'll leave how wonderful I am to have around as the unspoken truth we both know. Now I'm going to put these things away before the ice cream melts."
Right, yes. The special organic praline swirl ice cream he'd insisted they had to try. That definitely needed to go in the freezer before it was a waste of almost seven dollars.
"Okay, okay, fine. I'm sitting."
Castle releases her with a triumphant grin. "Good. I'll bring you wine in a few minutes."
"Uh huh." She leaves him to it. Knowing he's watching her leave, her hips sway a little bit more than necessary, just to give him something to groan about as she makes her way to the couch.
"Evil woman," he mutters, opening one of the grocery bags and emptying it with surprising efficiency.
"Yeah, but I'm your evil woman," she retorts, settling into her throw pillows, watching the awe flash over his face as her words hit home for him.
Not even bothering to smother his pleased smile, Rick hums, looking her over. "Well, I do have great taste."
A/N: Once again, you have my gratitude for sticking with me on this journey, even through the delays. Thank you all.