Ethan and his mum sat in the dining room. The table was all set up with a roast turkey, gravy, Yorkshire puddings and vegetables.
"I don't think he's coming, mum." Ethan said quietly.
Matilda looked towards the empty seat on her left.
"No, I don't think he's coming." She repeated in a whisper.
Dinner was soon over. Matilda was fast asleep in the living room with the Queen's speech on in the background while Ethan was in the kitchen doing the washing up. Once all the dishes were cleaned and dried, Ethan walked back into the living room. He smiled. After placing a blanket over his mum, he quietly closed the door behind him. Just as the door closed there was a knock at the door. Opening it Ethan was met with a surprise.
"Cal."
"Hiya, Ethan. Long time no see."
"It's been 5 years, Cal."
Cal gave a sigh.
"I know. And I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" Ethan scoffed. "It's been 5 years since we saw you. And all you can say is you're sorry?"
"Don't be mad at me, Nibbles."
"Don't call me that."
"Look, I wanted to come. I wanted to see you and mum, but I couldn't."
"Why?"
"I didn't have enough money."
"You didn't have enough money? Come off it, Cal. From what we heard in your letters and emails, when you could be bothered to write was that you certainly had enough money to go out and get drunk."
"Please, Eth…."
"No. So tell me why didn't you come?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll tell you why. I just didn't want to come back."
"Why?"
"You know why."
"I don't."
"I didn't want to come back and face mum. She was always going on at me for quitting med school and going travelling."
"So you're blaming mum for your lack of communication?"
"No."
"Well, it certain seems like it."
"It's not that. It just that she kept saying I was just like dad."
"You are just like dad."
"I'm nothing like dad and I don't ever want to be. He was a useless waste of space. Look how he treated you and mum."
"I don't think mum meant you're like dad in that way. I'm sure she was talking about what a great doctor he was. Which he was."
"I don't care a if he was a great doctor or not. He could have been a great lawyer or teacher for all I care. I still don't want to be like him."
"But, how is finishing med school and becoming a doctor going to make you like dad?"
"You saw what work did to dad. You saw him when he got stressed. He lashed out at mum and you, Ethan. I don't ever want to do that. It scared me when he did it to mum. It scared me even more when he did it to you."
"Oh, Cal. You won't be like dad in that way. You never will."
"How can you be so sure? We all thought dad was never like that. But, that wasn't until he started working in ED and becoming a consultant. How do you know it won't happen to me?"
"Because if it were to happen to you, then surely it would happen to me."
"But, you're nothing like dad. I am."
"It doesn't work like that though. Dad dealt with the stress the only way he knew how to."
"That's no excuse for what he did to you or to mum."
"I'm not excusing him for he did. I'm just saying we all deal with stress differently."
"But, I don't deal with stress differently, Eth. I do exactly what dad did. I get drunk. And sure it scares me that I go out and get drunk, yet what scares me even more is that maybe one day I'll come home totally out of it and lash out at either you or mum. I swore to myself that I wouldn't let anything happen to you, two. But, how can I protect you from myself?"
"You'll never hurt mum or me."
"You don't know that. Stress and alcohol does strange things to people. Look how it affected dad. I'm not going to be like him. Never."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I'm not coming back."
"But, you promised."
"I'm sorry, Eth. I just can't come back."
"So why are you back?"
"I needed to see you."
"Needed to see me? And what about mum? Don't you think she deserves to see you before you leave?"
Cal shook his head.
"No. She won't understand."
"She won't understand? What about me? I don't understand."
"Please, don't make this harder than it already is. I can't stay here."
Cal noticed there were tears forming in his brother's eyes. It only reminded him how hard it was for him to say goodbye to his brother the last time he told him he was going away. But, he knew this was the best decision. He didn't want to end up like his dad. While he cared about his mum, he cared more about Ethan and would never want to hurt him the way their dad did.
"Please, Cal. Don't go." Ethan pleaded.
"I have too."
Ethan cast his head towards the floor. Tears fell down his cheeks. Seeing his brother upset broke his heart. Cal brought Ethan against his chest and wrapped his arms around him.
"I love you, Nibbles. Don't you ever forget that." Cal whispered in his ear.