Bella

September 1, 2016

As someone who was not entirely sure how to initiate a romantic relationship, I felt like the one I was forming with Edward was – for all intents and purposes - coming along.

We spent pretty much every spare moment that wasn't school, basic human functions, or spending time with our respective families with each other. We would wait for each other in the morning to walk to class together, ate lunch in the cafeteria pressed so close together in the seat that we made each other overheat, we held hands under the table during Chemistry, and we spent evenings together doing homework in my living room while we shared a bag of popcorn.

And then in the evenings when I would drop him off at his house, we would sit in the back of Earl and look at the stars that would peek through the clouds, having deep philosophical discussions about life. Those were my favorite, and I would drive home wondering what I did with my life before Edward was in it.

I was quite happy and I'm pretty sure that I was making Edward happy, because his face would light up when he would see me, his eyes dancing and my favorite smile (out of all the smiles in the world) would split across his face like a lightning bolt across a thunder cloud.

However, I had a dilemma.

After watching a bunch of movies that featured budding high school romances as their subjects for scientific research, I figured out that there was some sort of progression that was supposed to happen with relationships, an evolution where the end goal is love, a checklist of sorts to make sure you were doing everything properly to form a healthy, nurturing romantic pairing.

And when I mapped out Edward and I's relationship in my comp book one Thursday evening while watching football with Charlie, I had figured out that we had hit a standstill between third date and our first kiss.

Edward hadn't kissed me yet.

I knew it was because he was shy and inexperienced – like Jake said. And I was fine with this at first. But, after spending so much time together, I was becoming disheartened that his inhibitions were going to keep us at this plateau – somewhere between platonic and casually dating - unable to move to the next step forever.

And it was making me impatient. I was becoming very impatient. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted his hands on my face and in my hair. I wanted his body against me, his heartbeat in my fingertips. I would lay awake in my bed at night aching for him – an inferno burning low and deep in the pit of my belly - wishing, hoping, praying that he would finally make his move.

But, he didn't. He kept his hands politely laced through mine or on my shoulder. Sometimes he would run his fingers down my face. And he'd stare into my eyes like I was the only thing that mattered to him in the world. And I would stare back, slightly dazed and wishing that he would just kiss me. Just freaking kiss me already, dammit.

But, that was it.

It was a Saturday morning – two Saturdays after the barbeque - when talking with Renee on the phone while still sitting in my pajamas that I figured out what I needed to do.

"How's Washingfun?" She asked after we went through the routine of greetings.

"Good," I said. "Are you taking your meds?"

"Yes, Mom." She joked with a chuckle. I had made sure after that Sunday to connect with Phil to have her shrink adjust her meds and banish the deluded thoughts about Lupe sneaking under the hood of her Honda in the middle of the night to sabotage her car so she couldn't go to pilates in the morning.

I made a noise as I thought about my dilemma. "I have a question and I feel like only you can answer it."

"Does it involve the occult or pregnancy?"

"No."

"Okay, then shoot."

"You know how I've been seeing Edward?"

"Yes?" She said. "Is everything going good with that?"

I made a noise of hesitation. "Yes, everything is fine. He's just…not doing anything." I winced.

"What do you mean?"

"He's shy and he won't kiss me, Mom." I groaned. "It's driving me up the wall."

She laughed at me. "Bella, sometimes you just gotta grip the bull by the balls."

"That's a very astute – and unrefined – way of putting things, Mom."

"It's true, though." She said. "Relationships are like skydiving, Bella – nobody's going to jump for you. If you want to kiss him, make like Nike, and just do it."

It was a good idea. I could kiss him instead of waiting around for him to kiss me. I could kiss him. My heart sped up at that thought.

So, I decided to follow my mother's advice of 'gripping the bull by the balls' and planned to do it on our date later – which we had planned to go to the empty Forks High parking lot so I could show Edward how to drive stick – that I would kiss him. I would kiss him.

I took the whole day to plan how I wanted to do it in my head – imagining myself pushing his red hair off of his forehead, imagining my nose brushing his, our lips connecting – two halves finally finding each other. I thought about it so many times, I felt like I had it memorized.

I was actually running through my plan in my head in the middle of our date, when I was abruptly yanked out of my fantasy when Edward jerked Earl as he stalled. My hand came out to brace myself so I didn't faceplant into the glove box.

"Sorry," He apologized and then sighed. "I'm pretty sure this is impossible."

I looked past Lenny - which was taking up the middle seat between us like a supervising parent - at Edward's angelic face. His lips twisted into a pout and his eyes flashed in irritation. I noted that the dark circles under his eyes looked a bit better. I had put a stop to late-night texting when I saw how physically drained he was when he would come into school the next day.

"Not impossible." I argued gently. "You just have to find the rhythm." I used my hands to demonstrate the clutch and the gas pedal again.

Edward twisted the ignition and the old truck revved to life and he shifted back into neutral. I watched him depress the clutch and shift into first. Slowly. I thought as I watched his right foot hit the gas, the engine roaring around us, and lift his foot up off the clutch. We lurched forward.

Stalled.

"Dammit." Edward hit the steering wheel in frustration.

I picked up Lenny – which was heavier than he looked - and put him on the floor next to my leg. I scooched closer so I could run my fingers through Edward's hair – one of my favorite things to do. He had nice, perfectly imperfect hair. "Maybe we should take a break?"

"Is that a car pun?" He grinned at me.

I made a face at him. "I'll make you walk back to La Push."

His fingers came out and delicately brushed my arm. He was always so careful, treating me like I was made out of porcelain and he was afraid that I would crack under his fingertips. "I wouldn't want that." He said, his emerald eyes looking into mine. I got lost in them, my mouth falling open.

I tried to push myself closer to him.

Lenny got in the way, however – a barricade protecting Edward from all the things I wanted to do with his body - and I looked around the cab for a different place to put him.

Edward picked him up by his handle and moved him to sit between his leg and the driver's side door. "There." He smiled again, but it quickly faded and he put his hand on his chest.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," He said, his eyes going tight. "Lenny's heavy."

"You're telling me." I said with a smile. "I'm glad he does his job, because he definitely throws his weight around."

Edward laughed and dropped his hand. "I have smaller tanks that I can carry with strap, but they don't last as long." He looked at me. "And I like spending as much time with you as possible."

His fingers brushed down my face, so soft he barely touched me at all. I felt my body shudder under the sensation, an electricity where his fingertips laid. I looked into his eyes again. Mistake. All comprehensible thoughts flying out of my head. Well, except for one. Do it. My inner-monologue screamed at me like it was shouting down a canyon. Do it now.

"I want to kiss you, Edward." I blurted, my eyes fixed to his face. I was vaguely aware of the heat in my cheeks. I was very aware of the pulse thrumming in my head.

"Wha-," His face reddening and his eyes widening.

But, I didn't let him finish his thought. With Lenny out of the way, I could have full access. And I became the very definition of 'taking advantage.' I kissed him, my fingers of one hand finding his face and the other finding his chest. And he was sweeter than I could ever imagine. Minty and slightly floral.

He froze up. Of course. This was his first kiss. I pulled back. "You okay?" I repeated as I looked into his face that was so red, his freckles disappeared.

"Yeah." He squeaked, slightly dazed. "Fine."

I smiled. "I'm going to kiss you again."

"Okay." He said.

This time, he responded back. I ran my hands all over him: twisting my fingers into his hair, I ran them down his face, over his tubing, down his chest. He cupped my face with one hand the other on my waist. His tongue inserted itself into my mouth and I let it, almost groaning with how much better this was compared to how I imagined it. My heart thrashed around so loud behind my sternum, he could probably hear it.

With a slight maneuver of my leg, I found his lap and got on top, straddling him. His hand found the small of my back and he pressed me so close, I could feel his erection through his jeans.

I was loosely aware of his breathing. Which at this proximity I could hear just how labored it was. I listened to it get chestier and harsher as he struggled to pull in oxygen through his nose. I pulled away to let him catch his breath, my hands still on his chest and our noses so close they were brushing.

I stared into his eyes, looking at the beautiful flecks of gold in them. "I've been wanting to do that for a long time." I admitted, smiling.

He smiled back as I listened to him suck in air through his nose and breathe it out of his mouth. "Me." He inhaled. "Too."

I pressed my lips to his collarbone and then into the hollow of his neck, breathing him in. He had a nice scent – not drenching himself in Axe body spray like most boys did. Fresh soap and a little cologne.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked as I dragged my lips over his neck, over a short, horizontal scar that sat right under his adam's apples. I listened to his ragged breaths pick up as I did that

This was skipping some stuff on the relationship timeline I was pretty sure, but the question thrilled me – a jolt of electricity starting from the base of my scalp that shot down to my ankles. So, I didn't care. My heart hammered and it took all my strength not to throw myself around his neck and shout "Yes!" at the top of my lungs.

Instead I smiled and pulled back. "I'm on your lap, in my truck, kissing you. I think that answers it."

His hands ran down my arm then gripped my fingers. His uneven grin found its way onto his face. "I guess not." He admitted. "Although, I'd really like to hear you say it."

"Okay," I pretended to sigh and roll my eyes. "Edward Black, I accept your offer and would be happy to be your girlfriend." I pecked him on the lips. "More than happy. Ecstatic."

"I appreciate your sacrifice." He chuckled and then kissed me again.

My heart beat sped up with my breathing. But, this kiss wasn't as fevered. It was long and passionate – a declaration of affection. I ran my fingers through Edward's hair and he ran his down my face.

I opened my mouth and let him in, my pulse quickening as I burned with desire. I guided one of his hands under my shirt and heard a little noise escape from him as his fingers brush my nipple through the thin material of my bra.

Sex was somewhere on that relationship timeline, but I couldn't remember where it sat at that very moment. Right now. I thought as my own hand found its way under Edward's shirt. My fingertips brushed over his bare chest, finding a small patch of chest hair and a large scar on the left side of his ribs.

"I want you so bad." He gasped, his fingers becoming more exploratory of my body.

"Then have me." I breathed back and then ran my mouth over his collarbone.

My inner-thigh vibrated.

I pulled back from his face, realizing that his phone was ringing. He shifted and fished it out of his pocket, glancing at the caller ID. Mothership flashed across the screen with a picture of his smiling mom. His brows furrowed as I watched him contemplate silencing it.

"Take it." I urged with a smile. "I can wait."

He slid to answer it. "Hello?" I played with his hair as he talked with his mom, watching the thick red stick up as I moved it around. "Yes. Yeah, I know." He said. "Mmhm. I know. Yeah, I can do that." He said. "Hey, um, can I bring someone over for dinner?" His eyes flashed and he smiled. "Who? Well, my girlfriend." My heart palpitated when he said that word. Girlfriend. "Yes. Yes. 'kayloveyoubye." He sang at the end and hung up.

"I feel like there's a question coming." I said as I continued to mush his hair around.

"Yes," He sighed and put down his phone. "Can we stop at the Thriftway and pick up ranch dressing on the way back to La Push?"

I smiled and then shrugged. "I guess so."

He picked up my hand. "And would you like to come over for dinner and meet my parents?" His crooked grin stretched wide. "As my girlfriend?"

I looked into his eyes. "Yes." I squealed and pressed my face against his neck. "Yes. Yes!" I kissed him again – my new favorite thing to do.

September 1, 2016

The I had butterflies in my stomach as we drove from Forks to La Push. Fluttering that turned into nausea as I realized I was going to be introduced to Edward's parents as his girlfriend. I kept my hands on the wheel of my truck at ten and two, knowing that if I let them off I would be chewing off all of my fingernails.

"I'm nervous." I admitted once we got parked in his driveway.

I had been her almost every night before when I dropped Edward off, but now everything seemed so different. The worn red paint of his house seemed brighter, the sky seemed bluer, the sunlight that forced itself past the clouds seemed warmer. I understood now why people put forth effort into romantic relationships – this high could not be rivaled.

"They're going to love you." He assured. "They already know you, since you're Charlie Swan's daughter."

"That's fair." I said. "But, they don't know me as your girlfriend."

His eyes flashed and sparkled like a jewel under a spotlight. "I love it when you say that."

"What?"

"'Your girlfriend.'" He squeezed my hand. "It's sounds so nice-," He gasped a little, his eyes widening and his hand flew to his chest.

"Are you okay?" I blurted as I watched, the butterflies turning into full-on anxiety as I watched Edward grimace.

"Yeah," He said and rubbed the left side of his chest. "I, um," He winced and I moved over the bench to rub his back and listened to his breaths get wheezy. "I'm overdue for my nebulizer," He inhaled and then straightened up, his eyes rolling. "And my lungs never fail to remind me."

We walked up to his house hand-in-hand. I kept my eye on Edward, but besides a slight tightening of his eyes, he seemed okay. I looked down at our hands. While I was okay with waiting until he was ready to divulge his medical history, I silently hoped he did it soon so I knew when to worry and when to not.

I banished the worry about Edward's weak lungs when we got into the house. I looked around his living room like I was seeing it for the first time, even though I had just been here a couple of weeks ago. It was a well-loved room with a worn green couch and a beautiful Native American rug of different hues of red and blue hung on the wall behind it like a tapestry.

"Edward!" A woman's voice sang from the back of the house. I watched his mother – a tall, willowy woman with angular cheekbones, lovely copper complexion and a long curtain of black hair that streamed behind her – flash herself from the kitchen to us. "Introduce me to your girlfriend!"

Edward's face reddened when his mom appeared and I felt his hand tighten around mine. "This is Bella, my girlfriend." He stammered. "Bella, this is my mom."

"Hi," I greeted, my hand going clammy. "Nice to meet you, um, Mrs. Black."

"Oh, please." Edward's mom pulled me in for a hug, her black eyes sparkling. She smelled like cooking food and slight perfume. "Call me Sarah."

"Okay," I smiled at her when she pulled away, knowing full well I was going to call her Mrs. Black until the day I died. I handed over the bottle of ranch that we were tasked to pick up. "Here's your ranch."

"Thank you!" She said. "I need this for the chicken recipe. It's going to be ready in about forty-five minutes? Do you want anything to drink, Bella?"

"No, I'm good, thanks." I said.

"I'll show you my room." Edward volunteered, his hand on his chest again.

"Doors open." She said with stern voice, but had the biggest grin on her face. She looked back and forth between us and was almost dancing from foot-to-foot. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

I followed him down a short hallway to the last door and then watched curiously as Edward shed the tubing around his face that connected him to Lenny and picked up another set of tubing that sat on his bed, put that on and then hit a switch on a blue machine that sat under his nightstand. It hummed to life like a low vacuum.

I took a seat on his bed next to him, surveying his room. It was messy, clothes and books strewn around. There was a stack of oxygen tanks in the corner, lined up against the wall like Apple fanboys waiting for the new iPhone. Some had red stickers on them that read EMPTY.

I looked back at Edward, who was fiddling with a whole different machine – this one smaller and silver with a white, plastic mouthpiece. He turned it on and it started to bubble the liquid inside of it, turning it into vapor, he held the mouthpiece and inhaled.

I looked around at all the medical equipment feeling myself bite my lip when I realized I had no clue what I was looking at. It was a little overwhelming. I wasn't sure where I was going to start learning about it all.

I guessed WebMD would be the best place to start, if Edward didn't feel comfortable enough explaining things to me yet. I started making a mental list of things I needed to learn now that I was girlfriend to someone who relied on supplemental oxygen, when Edward interrupted my thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm trying to figure out what's the best way to crash course myself on oxygen therapy." I answered, as I surveyed the stuff I needed to start memorizing again. "The extent of my medical training is 'Gatorade and soup' so I should probably learn at least the basics of the equipment, you know, just in case I need to-,"

"Wait." He cut me off. I looked up and watched his eyebrows furrow in confusion as he sucked in more vapor. "You…want to learn…about my oxygen?"

"Well, yeah." I said, my turn to be confused. "What do you think I was thinking about?"

His eyes dropped to his lap. "That you were trying to calculate how fast you could run away."

"Why would I run away?"

He made a sweeping motion with his arm at his bedroom and then at himself. "Because I'm a medical nightmare."

I felt my mouth pop open. "You think you're going to scare me off?"

He blushed and then moved to turn his nebulizer off. "I keep waiting for it to happen." He said and played with his tubing. "For you to come to your senses. For you to see that you could do better than me." He inhaled and I could see tears mist his eyes. "Someone who doesn't slow you down."

"Edward," I scooched closer to him and then put my hand on his face so I could stare up into his eyes. "I can't do better, because you are the best. You're the only one I want."

"You shouldn't have to be figuring out where to crash course yourself on oxygen therapy, though." His eyebrows pulled together. "You shouldn't have to do that."

"But I'm going to anyway." I said. "Because it's apart of your life and I'm apart of your life and that's how it works. If you were," I made motion with my hand. "In a wheelchair, then I would be learning how to make a sick half-pipe. If you were blind, I would be figuring out how to be the best seeing-eye girlfriend in existence." I smiled. "If you were a vampire, I would be researching on how to turn myself nocturnal."

"Well, I'm not that." He smiled gently.

I chuckled. "But, that's how it works when you love someone – you love every part of them, the good, the bad and the ugly. And I'm a very thorough person."

He kissed me suddenly, his hands on my face. I froze for the briefest of seconds before I kissed him back, my fingers knitting themselves into his hair and my heart speeding up.

He pulled back looked at me, his green eyes intense on mine. I got lost in the ethereal depths of his eyes. "Okay." He whispered.

"Okay what?"

"Ask me whatever you want." He sucked in a breath and looked around. "Anything."

"Oh," I looked around too. My stomach flipped as I began to feel overwhelmed on where to start. I had a million questions. And new ones would come to me everyday as I watched him interact with his own body. What was the pill he took at lunch and the inhaler he used? Why did he tick up his oxygen sometimes? What did the numbers mean? What was that machine and that machine and that machine? Why did he touch his chest and wince? Did it hurt? What happened?

There was a crash and we both jumped. Suddenly, the moving wall that was Jacob burst into the room, his shirt wet with sweat.

"Bro, I got the best-," He hollered and the skidded to stop when he saw me. "Bella, hey!"

"Hey, Jake." I blushed and moved to lace my fingers with Edward's.

"Jacob you have impeccable timing; you know that?" Edward's words dripped heavy with sarcasm.

"Sorry not sorry." He said, his big cheesy grin spreading over his face. "I got a date for homecoming."

"Great," Edward said and rolled his eyes, his fingers tightening around mine. "Now leave us alone."

"But, wait." He said. "That means that we can go together as a double date!"

Edward's arms moved to encircle my shoulders and he looked down at me and smiled. "I don't know." He said. "I think I just want to take my girlfriend, you know, make it about just us." He ran his eternally cool fingers down my cheek and I shuddered under his touch.

"Girlfriend?" Jacob repeated, his expressive face cycling through the different stages of disbelief. "Girlfriend? Girlfriend?"

"You might want to say it a couple of more times for added effect." Edward joked, his crooked smile widening and his eyes dancing.

"I'm so fucking happy for you, Edboy!"

"Language!" Mrs. Black called from the other part of the house.

Jacob grinned. "Homecoming is going to be so lit!"

"Who are you going with?" I asked.

"Lauren Mallory." He said and flexed his bicep. "Captain of the cheer squad and hottest girl in school."

"Hey!" Edward scowled and tightened his arm around me. I like it when he got protective. I thought and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Sorry, Bella." Jacob said. "But, bro! Both of us with our ladies." His eyes went distant as he imagined it. But, then his expression suddenly downshifted. "I have no idea how to dance, though." Jacob said. "I'm going to step all over Lauren's feet."

"Well," Edward said and shrugged. "You're asking the wrong guy."

"Wait," I said, my eyes moving back and forth between the two brothers. "I can teach you how to dance."

"You know how to dance?"

I smiled. "Yeah, my mom likes signing us up for random classes at the Y and salsa dancing was one of them. I think she just did it to flirt with cute teacher that looked like a hotter version of Benicio Del Toro." I shrugged. "But, I learned how to step in a somewhat rhythmic fashion in the four times we attended. I could show you really quick?"

Jacob's black eyes widened. "Will you teach me? Please?"

I looked at Edward, who was glaring at Jacob. "It's up to you."

"Edward," Jacob's eyes snapped to him. "Please. Please. I want to impress Lauren. Please."

He inhaled and I watched his hand go to his side again. I looked up into his face, but he didn't look like he was in pain. But, given that scar that I felt, he probably wasn't a wimp when it came to pain. "Yeah." He pouted. "It's fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked, feeling my eyebrows furrow. I didn't want to make Edward feel bad.

"Well, you're not going to leave us alone until she does." Edward said to Jacob, his arms crossing over his chest. "So I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Don't be salty, bro." Jacob said, his cheesy grin on his face. "Fifteen minutes, tops."

I stood up and kissed Edward – full-on, with tongues, my hands in his hair and on his face – just to reaffirm my devotion and commitment to him. Jacob whooped behind us.

I turned to Jacob, taking a place next to him. I showed him how to count the eight beats in his head and then I showed him how to step into the four positions. Once he had mastered that – which didn't take too long, Jake seemed pretty nimble on his feet - I pulled my cell phone, navigated to the music app, and turned on a song by one of the Latino artists that the Hispanic kids from my old school in Phoenix liked to play.

"Now, salsa is really just those eight steps." I explained as I adjusted his arm positions and then took his hands – which were large so they completely engulfed mine. I started counting in my head and moving my feet. "With a partner, you're like moving in the same way – like mirrors to each other." I started to step forward, and Jake automatically stepped back.

We grooved to the music and I swung my hips from side-to-side. I watched Jacob glance at his feet and then at me, his mouth moving as he counted. I pulled his hand and we swung around, adding extra space between us. Jacob smiled when he saw that he successfully moved without stepping on me.

"You just end up in the same starting position, doing the same steps." I said and I let him spin me this time, adjusting his hand on my waist so he knew where to hold. "There," I said as I watched Jake smile as he spun me again, his large arm going above my head. "You got it."

"I'm the dancing master."

"I want to try." Edward said and we both stopped. I turned and watched him

"Edboy." Jake said and I watched his black eyes flash with brief intensity at Edward.

"It's fine." Edward groaned back and moved to insert himself between me and Jake. "It looks pretty easy."

I worried my lip, unsure but Edward took my hands anyway. He was tall – taller than me, but he wasn't as large as Jacob. He also was not as sure on his feet, however he did not count out loud like Jacob did, so he had that going for him.

I tried to be careful, though. Edward wasn't fragile, but he wasn't a brick house like Jacob either. I slowed down when I listened to his breathing go labored. He didn't want to slow down though, his feet picking back up as he took the lead. He spun me around, his hand on my waist.

"You're a good dancer." I said as I let him spin me around again.

"I have a good-," Edward stopped and I stopped with him, his hands flying to his chest and his face twisting into a grimace. The pain in his eyes became palpable.

"Edward, are you-," I started, my voice hitching with worry and my hands going to his shoulders.

A series of events occurred at that point. I felt like I was sucked into nightmare. I felt like I fell down the rabbit hole, watching a horrible catastrophe happen right before my eyes.

"Edward!" I watched his green eyes go blank and then his eyelids slide shut. With a sigh, his body went limp and I encircled my arms around him to keep him from slamming to the ground, struggling to keep us both upright under his weight.

"Mom!" Jacob shouted – a thunderous noise – and he vaporized at my elbow and helped me lower Edward to the carpet.

"Get the mask, Bella." Jake ordered and then pointed at the nightstand. I rushed like I was ordered to – my limbs feeling detached from my body, moving on their own like they had grown their own brains – and found a clear oxygen mask sitting on top of the blue machine. I grabbed it and handed it to Jacob.

"What's going on?" Mrs. Black said as she came into the room and lowered herself next to Edward's prone body.

"He's not breathing." Jacob said and undid the tubing around his face, replacing it with the oxygen mask. "He was dancing and passed out."

"He's burning up." His mother said as she pressed her hands to Edward's cheeks. "We need to get him to Forks."

"I'm sorr-," I started, feeling the panic twisted up my guts. This was all my fault. The whole afternoon flashed in front of my eyes. All my fault. How do you even apologize to someone for wrecking their son and brother? For hurting him?

"It's okay, Bella. Stuff like this happens." Mrs. Black interrupted – her voice calm, but her eyes worried as she helped get Edward's unconscious body into Jake's arms. "Can you grab Lenny?"

I turned around and grabbed the handle of Lenny, picking him up and following them out to the living room. Mrs. Black rushed around the house, her hair a black stream behind her. Jacob took Edward to the gold Buick in the driveway. I opened the back door for

"Get in the backseat with Edward, Bella." Jake said and I did as I was ordered again, numbly sliding in. Mrs. Black and Jake got Edward in and I held his head in my lap, the mask on his face now connected to Lenny, which was going full blast.

We raced to Forks and I watched in shock as both Jacob and Mrs. Black get on their phones. Jacob was talking to the hospital, telling them that we were coming and what state Edward was in, using large, scary medical Mrs. Black was on the phone with the La Push dispatcher, trying to get in touch with Edward's dad.

They were both so calm. – the eye of a category five hurricane. Everything centered on them as they worked to get Edward to help. How do they do that? How they remain so calm?

I looked at Edward, whose head was on my lap, my hand over the oxygen mask on his face. His breaths were coming in quick and shallow and harsh, like he was drowning. His lips had turned a cool shade of blue and there was a stripe of red over his nose and cheeks. I pressed my hand to his forehead. He was so warm. Feverish. Was he always this warm? I had my hands all over him all day. I don't remember him being this warm.

I'm so sorry Edward.

"Bella, baby." Edward's mom said from the front seat. I looked up to see that she had twisted herself around to face us. "It's okay. Edward will be okay." She assured. Why are you trying to comfort me? I thought, my heart in my throat. I did this. "Stuff like this happens."

I was panicking – hyperventilating. I felt tears in my eyes and hot on my face. It knotted up my insides so bad I couldn't breathe. Edward and I were two vessels of malfunctioning lungs, drowning under the forces of our own bodies.

We pulled through the Forks Emergency room driveway, parking right in front of the automatic door. A couple of hospital staff members dressed in scrubs opened up the back of the car. They got Edward out and off of my lap and onto a gurney – replacing Lenny's mask with a different one that had a big squeezy top.

I got out of the car as soon they had Edward off of me and followed everyone into the Emergency Room, chasing after the gurney that wheeled Edward away, hospital staff members buzzing around him like tiel-clad bumblebees around a honey pot.

"No chest sounds." Someone said.

"We have sixty-two percent sat…"

"Someone dispatch for air evac…"

"Don't you dare intubate him!" Mrs. Black said as she followed them through the double doors that separated the waiting room from where they saved people, powerwalking to keep up with them. "HFT only!"

I watched frozen to the ground as the doors swung shut, the other half of my heart disappearing behind them, feeling crushed under the weight of my own guilt.

Hello, Bueller? I see y'all reading. If you like what you see (or don't) then let me know! I love reviews.

Things were starting to get a little too comfy. I mean, this is a drama, right?