When I return to Legolas' room, dragging my possessions behind me as ordered, Faramir is there.
It is such a relief to see him. Calm, steady, Faramir will get Legolas to see sense surely. I wonder briefly why it is I am always so relieved to see Faramir.
Legolas and he are in deep discussion but it is quickly apparent he is not getting anywhere. Legolas stands, his back to the wall, pressed against it as if he wished he could disappear through to the other side. His arms wrapped tight across him, his posture screams defensiveness.
He is not listening.
"They were careless words only Legolas. Can you not give him the benefit of a second chance? He deserves that much surely."
But Legolas stubbornly shakes his head and Faramir, I see, is losing patience.
"Have you never said something you later regret?" He asks.
Legolas' gaze flicks to me then and he meets my eyes. I know he thinks of our argument before we left Ithilien and the harsh words we threw at each other.
"I have said things that I regret. Things I should have kept to myself, or waited for a more appropriate time to mention." He says to Faramir, "but I have never said something I did not mean."
That hurts. He meant it when he said I was jealous, uneducated and prejudiced. When he said that he was sick of me.
"Aragorn does not mean your friendship is not valued. You know that." Faramir will not give up. How he remains so calm I do not know.
"Anger frees us to say the things that are in our hearts."
I know what Legolas means. All those hidden hurts we bury deep that spill out when anger unlocks our mouths. But I do not think for a moment Elessar truly believes his friendship to be unworthy. He has simply, rashly, chosen the wrong words to describe his hurt and Legolas clings to them determinedly.
"I have left my home to follow him here," he cries, "because he asked for it. My people live in Gondor, we fight the wars of Gondor, they die for Gondor! And that is not enough? Still he says I am not a true friend to him. What more does he want?"
And that is it. With those words it all becomes clear to me, this strange mood of Legolas'. This is not about Elessar. It is not about him at all, it is about Legolas.
Legolas and his guilt.
Guilt, because if Legolas was not here, if he had not followed Elessar to this land then Taenor might still be alive in the Greenwood. Guilt, because in Legolas' mind the fault in Taenor's death lies solely upon his decisions, and his friendships.
I reach gently for his arm, to try and calm him, to give my support, and he turns to me and blinks, startled, as if he had forgotten I was even there.
"Let us go." He says then. "I have nothing more to say." And he turns his back on Faramir, shoulders his pack and strides out of the room without so much as a glance back.
"Maewen!" Faramir clasps my arm urgently as I move to follow.
"This is foolishness. You must stop him."
"He will go with or without me and it is better he is not on his own."
"He is being unreasonable!" Faramir does not often show his frustration like this. It is an unnerving sight.
"Legolas is often unreasonable. You do not understand him." And I realise that it is true. As much time as Faramir and Legolas spend together, as deeply as his friendship with Elessar goes, still they do not understand us truly.
"This is about Taenor...and Laerion." I say, "Tell Elessar that. Tell Arwen, she will understand."
"Maewen!" Legolas calls my name and his tone says he will not be ignored.
"I must go!" I turn to Faramir one last time as I leave the room to follow my Prince.
"Tell Arwen." I say firmly, "Tell her."
Let her explain it to Elessar.
We are not far along the corridor, Legolas' fury spreading behind him like a cloud, when we stumble across the child. It could not be worse timing.
"Legolas!" His eyes light up and his face is illuminated by a brilliant smile. "I have been looking for you!"
"Eldarion," Legolas is caught off guard, he stumbles over his words as he draws to a halt
"I am sorry little one, I am busy."
Eldarion looks at him seriously, his eyes take it all in.
"Where are you going? Why do you have your pack with you? Father said you were hurt and resting."
I watch as Legolas drops to his knees beside the boy, his anger seems to have drained away. There is no hint of it when he speaks at least.
"I have to go home Eldarion."
"No! You have only just got here. I have not seen you! I was going to show you my soldiers. Why do you have to go?"
Legolas takes a deep shuddering breath then, to calm himself I think.
"I am not happy here little one. I want my home, you understand that." He lifts his hand to cup the boys cheek.
"Is it because Taenor is dead?"
I cannot help but gasp. Why does the child mention that?
Legolas quickly turns his head and I can see the tears glistening on his cheeks. He is not fast enough, for the boy sees them too, and lifts his small hands to wipe them away.
"Don't cry Legolas. I will call Father. He will make it better."
It is the belief of a small child that his father can make the whole world right again.
I watch as Legolas envelops the boy then, in a hug, and holds him tight to his chest. The tears still flow and I do not know who he cries for. Taenor? Elessar? himself...the boy? He dips his head, and plants a kiss on the top of the brown curls, before he lets him go.
"Make sure you are good little one." he says quietly, "I will see you again, but now I must go." He places his hand gently upon the boys head as he passes and nods over his shoulder for me to follow.
"Will we go to the woods next time Legolas?" the boy calls after us as we make our way down the corridor.
"Next time." Legolas calls back,
"Do you promise?"
The boys high voice floats down towards us as we move away from him and Legolas stops, rubs his face with his hand to remove the remaining tears.
"How can I promise him that?" he murmurs, to himself, I think, not to me.
"You will be back." I say and I know this is important, for him and the boy.
"Do you promise Legolas?" The boys voice is tense now, tears lurk not far away.
Legolas takes a deep breath as he stands there, stranded in the midst of his flight.
"Elbereth, must he make this so hard?" He say to no-one in particular.
I touch his shoulder then, gently,
"Give him this Legolas, he is only a child."
"And if It is a promise I cannot keep?"
Acting on impulse alone I clasp his hand.
"I will make sure you keep it."
And so he turns, for one last look at the boy.
"I promise Eldarion!" He calls as he lifts his hand and smiles, before we turn the corner and the boy disappears behind us.
Legolas says nothing else then until we reach the stables. He says nothing beyond the barest instructions to the stableboy as we ready our horses. He says nothing to me.
I gather my courage as I watch him, for I must make one last attempt to change his mind from this course. I am unlikely to succeed but I must try.
"Legolas," he looks up as I say his name,
"The day is half done. We have no chance of nearing Ithilien by dusk. Why not wait? We can leave at dawn tomorrow if you still wish it."
He scowls then, he does not welcome my input.
"No. We will sleep under the stars tonight. We have camped in far more dangerous places than the road to Ithilien." He is right, this is child's play compared to our patrols in the South, but I would rather he slept here in the city, in a bed. He is so tired.
"If you would just-" I mean to suggest he rest, talk to Arwen, talk to anyone, but he cuts me off before I can even start.
"We go now!" And he leads the horse past me, head in the air, ignoring me as he goes. I have no choice but to follow.
Elessar is there as we leave the stables and Legolas freezes as he sees him. The king walks to stand in front of him so he cannot pass.
"Legolas," he places a hand upon his shoulder but Legolas simply shrugs it off.
"Please reconsider this." Elessar is pleading now. "I worry about your health. You were in a poor state yesterday when you arrived."
"I am well enough." Legolas' voice is tight and cold, like chipped ice.
"You must give me a chance to mend this...please... My words were clumsy ones. I did not mean this as you have taken it." It makes me uncomfortable to see the King beg. I do not think it is something he does very often, if at all.
"I must do nothing. Do not order me Elessar." I cringe at the use of the formal name. That is the name Erynion and I call the King, not Legolas.
Elessar flinches too, so Legolas has landed a blow with that. Still he doesn't give up. The King of Men is made of sterner stuff than that. Perhaps he knows if he lets Legolas walk away now this rift will not be easy to repair.
"What can I do to make you understand what your friendship means to me?" He asks.
"I know what it means. It means you believe you have the right to know all there is about me. And I have no right to keep anything to myself." Legolas is not even trying to be reasonable and I begin to feel flickers of annoyance at him.
"Your closest advisor is dead, Legolas. I should have known that. Even were we not friends I should have known that."
Must he mention Taenor? I know he is right in this but cutting into that grief will not help. Legolas is white faced and furious, fists clenched at his side. For a moment I worry that this will come to blows. He would not be that foolish surely? Not here in front of Elessar's people.
"And I must tell you who I choose to lie with? Who I chose to love?" Legolas counters between gritted teeth. "Do I need to send a message every time I change my bed partner?" Now he is being ridiculous and he knows it. He says these things to get a reaction and this time it works.
"Do you do that often Legolas?" The Kings words are cutting.
"No! But what business of yours is it if I did? I only have one love and I have loved her far longer than you have loved Arwen. If I choose not to tell you that I do not have to."
"You are right. You do not have to but it hurts that you did not. Does Gimli know?" Elessar asks and this time he sounds completely dejected."Do you save this silence, this secretiveness, only for me?"
"What is this?" Now Legolas lets go of the thin layer of control he had on his temper and explodes.
"A competition between the two of you as to who knows more of my private thoughts? Gimli does not know! And you...nothing I give you, nothing my people give you is ever enough! Do you know what I have sacrificed for you Aragorn?"
It all boils down to this, In Legolas' mind Elessar is the reason he is here, Elessar is the reason Taenor is dead, his love for Elessar has led us all here and now Legolas is angry. This is what lies behind his petulance, his teasing, his difficult behavior since he arrived here. He is burning with anger and resentment against the King. He needs something to blame for Taenor's death and the love, the friendship he shares with the King is it.
He is so badly wrong.
"I know...I do know what you give up to be here Legolas, and I appreciate it -"
Legolas will not let him finish. He will not stay to hear words that may melt the ice in his heart. He pushes past Elessar and leaves him in his wake. He does not look back.
I follow wordlessly. I do not look at the King. I do not want to see his face.
I feel something pressed into my hand before I join the throng on the street and look down in surprise. It is a bundle, carefully wrapped. When I raise my eyes I see Arwen by my side.
"Food," she says quietly, "He will need to eat. Keep him safe Maewen."
"This is about Taenor." I say quickly, I will take my chance to give her the message I left with Faramir.
"He is so angry—I know it is not fair, not rational."
"I know," she smiles softly, "Look after him."
And then she vanishes as the crowds close round me and I turn my eyes to Legolas' fast disappearing back.
I will look after him. I must.