10. Day Two - Ianto
Ianto stepped back once more as Gwen and Rhys pulled up chairs to sit with Jack and Mickey by Martha's bed. They were Jack's team now; he was no longer a part of it. He felt out of place and unsure, and though he had no regrets whatsoever about breaking his cover to save Jack, he wondered what he had sacrificed to do so. His life with UNIT had been brief but mostly satisfying. Yes, it had felt empty and incomplete at times, but so had life with Torchwood.
At least at Torchwood he'd had Jack.
Shaking his head of such thoughts, Ianto turned and quietly left the room. He tried to remember where the kitchen was from the times he'd visited the island, both with Jack and on his own when Jack had left them. The first time had been not long after Lisa had died, as if Jack had sensed Ianto's need to make amends for his actions. He'd trusted Ianto not only with the secret of Flat Holm, but tasked him with making it a better place. Ianto liked to think that he had made a difference, but as he walked through the dark corridors and heard the occasional scream from one of the residents, he wondered if any of it had mattered, or if it was the situation speaking to his grim state of mind.
When he arrived at the kitchen, he found the coffee maker and some coffee, and though it wasn't the high quality beverage he'd often treated the staff to when he'd visited, he could at least brew and prepare it properly. That was what he had done for the team, after all. It may have been only a small part of his duties at Torchwood, but he was proud of his coffee because it was part of his ability to quietly take care of others. He had liked that the team had enjoyed it and sometimes, after a particularly long day, had even depended on it. On him. It was easy to fall back into old habits, it seemed.
As he waited, he searched the cupboards for cups. He set them on a tray, added some milk and sugar, and then waited, his thoughts running pell-mell through his mind. Jack had asked, 'What next?' in the car. Indeed, what did he do next?
Should he risk contacting Bryan, or work on his own from this point on? Should he stay with the Torchwood team he no longer belonged to, or should he go back to London and try to stay under the radar? He knew what he wanted to do, but he wasn't sure if he was thinking with his head or his heart, or if he was too tired to even be thinking straight at all.
He closed his eyes momentarily only to open them when he heard someone join him in the kitchen. Expecting Jack or one of the facility staff, he was mildly surprised to see that it was Gwen. He wondered if the others had put her up to it, or if she had taken it upon herself to find him.
"Jack had a feeling this was where you'd be," she murmured. "Somewhere with coffee." She leaned against the counter opposite from him, crossing her arms over her chest.
Ianto wasn't sure what to say about that. He wasn't sure what to say at all, considering Gwen's first instinct had been to slap him. His face still smarted where her hand had left its mark. Subconsciously, his hand came up to rub at it, and she frowned somewhat sheepishly before wetting a cloth in cold water and holding it out to him.
"I'm sorry," she said, placing it against his face anyway when he refused it. "I know that was a hell of a way to greet you after ten months, but Ianto…do you have any idea what your leaving did to us? What coming back means?"
"My face certainly does," he murmured.
She stared into his eyes for a few moments before setting down the rag, wrapping her arms around him, and laying her head on his chest. "We missed you. Tosh had no one to technobabble with, Owen had no one to snark around with. And Jack…" He felt her shudder against him. "Jack was devastated, Ianto. How could you do that to us?"
He cleared his throat before trying to speak. "I had to," he said. "At the time, it seemed to be only thing I could do." He tilted her chin up to him and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "But I know I was wrong to leave the way I did, and I'll do whatever I can to make it right."
She laughed nervously as she leaned into him again. "I thought you were the only one who could help after you called us. Rhys and I made it all the way to London, determined to find you somehow, when someone from the Home Office told us you'd already gone on the run. When she said Jack had been captured but escaped, I knew it had to be you." She sighed. "You came back for Jack."
"I came back for all of you," he said. "I couldn't let you die, not if I could do something to help. And when I found out about Jack, where they were holding him, I couldn't leave him there. He might be the only one who can figure out what's going on."
"That's not the only reason, is it?" she asked quietly, and he sighed. It was the same thing Jack had asked him.
"Of course not," Ianto told her. "But that's not what we need to focus on right now, all right? There will be time to deal with…well, with everything else later."
"But—" she started, and Ianto was reminded of his encounter with her at the hospital when Jack had been in a coma. He wondered if it would come back to her, or the others; if his presence would trigger the memories he had taken from them with Retcon. They'd probably be angry at him all over again.
As he had been at the hospital, he was once again saved from the grim determination of Gwen Cooper, though not by Rhys this time.
"Later, Gwen," said Jack, appearing in the kitchen. "Ianto's right, right now we need to focus. Share our information, pool our resources, figure out what the hell is going on, and what we're going to do about it." He stopped and grinned. "And something to eat would be good too."
"Coffee's brewing," said Ianto, pushing up from the counter. "I'm sure we could find something to go with the fish and chips, share it all around." He began scrounging through the cabinets, deciding something simple like sandwiches would probably work best.
"Have you eaten anything?" Jack asked Gwen. "I don't care what else is going on, you need to take extra good care of yourself now."
"I'm fine, Jack," she replied. Ianto moved toward the refrigerator, hoping to find more sandwich fixings. He took some meat, cheese, and vegetables from the shelves along with several condiments. "And I hope you don't plan on acting all mother hen for the next ninth months."
Ianto shot up. "Nine months?" he asked. "Are you…you're not…"
Gwen grinned broadly, though she shrugged with a sort of pleased embarrassment. "I am. Found out yesterday."
"Hell of a day for it," Ianto murmured. He set the bread down and pulled her into another embrace. "Congratulations," he said. "You'll be a brilliant mum."
"I'll be rubbish," she laughed. "Rhys will be brilliant."
"Please tell me you've told him," said Jack, sounding apprehensive. "He hates it when you tell me things before him."
"Of course I told him, you numpty!" She laughed and punched Jack on the arm. Ianto watched them and was struck by a deep sense of longing, of homesickness. He missed this, joking around with the team. He missed them. He missed Tosh and Owen…
Turning around, he busied himself with food, trying not to break down. He heard Gwen's footsteps leave the kitchen, but sensed Jack still behind him and tried to ignore the eyes boring into the back of his head.
"You don't have to do this, you know," said Jack from behind him.
"I'm hungry too," said Ianto.
"But you don't have to do all this," Jack emphasized. "Make coffee, get the food. You don't have to take care of us anymore."
"It's what I did," said Ianto. "It was my job. I was good at it."
"Probably shouldn't have left it, then," Jack replied. Ianto imagined Jack leaning against the counter behind him, arms tucked under each other and a smirk on his face. He placed his hands on the counter in front of him and let his head fall with a sigh.
"Don't you think I thought about that every day?" he whispered. "That I questioned and doubted and regretted a decision that at the time seemed so right? That if I had stayed, maybe things would be different?"
"How so?" Jack asked, as if they were simply having a casual conversation about the weather or the latest rugby match between England and Wales.
"I don't know!" Ianto exclaimed, throwing his hands up and turning around. He did know, but he didn't want to say it, because saying it might make it true. "A thousand things could have gone differently—"
"You could be dead," Jack pointed out. His voice was flat now, hard and to the point. Ianto glared at him.
"Or Tosh and Owen could be alive if I'd been there to help!"
"You don't know that." Jack took several steps closer. "And frankly, I don't believe it. There was nothing you could have done, nothing any of us could have done. It's more likely you would have died with them."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Ianto muttered, stung by Jack's words.
"I'm serious," Jack almost hissed, anger coming through clearly now. "Don't blame yourself for anything that happened after you left. I know better than anyone that it doesn't accomplish a damn thing. It doesn't change anything, it doesn't fix anything. The past is the past."
Ianto looked away with no idea how to respond. Logically, he knew that Jack was right, but knowing such a thing had never stopped him before from obsessing over past mistakes, replaying them in his mind over and over to find the moments where he could have done something differently, from Canary Wharf to Lisa's death, from his capture by cannibals to his run-in with Daleks in Australia. There was always something he second-guessed, and he'd not been in Torchwood nearly as long as Jack. Sometimes he wondered how Jack lived with himself and all that he had seen and done.
Which reminded him of something Jack had said in the car, and gave him a chance to change the subject as well.
"Jack, what happened in 1965?" he asked. Jack stepped back, looking surprised, and Ianto shrugged as he turned back to gather the food. "Speaking of the past."
Jack was quiet behind him for so long that Ianto turned back, only to find Jack staring at the cabinets with a look of such pain and loss Ianto thought Jack might fall apart right there. "What is it?" he asked softly, unable to resist reaching out to Jack. As soon as he touched Jack's arm, the other man grabbed him and held him tight.
"Promise me you won't hate me when I tell you." Jack's eyes bore into his own with such shame and fear, Ianto almost stepped away. Instead he nodded slowly.
"All right," he said, but Jack shook his head and placed a hand on either side of Ianto's shoulders.
"I wasn't the same man back then. It was forty years ago. I was a different person," he repeated.
Ianto was still confused, and a little frightened as well. For Jack to be so worried about his past could only mean it was darker than usual. He took a deep breath, prepared to put it all on the line and pledge his support, no matter what.
"I know who are you now, Jack," he told the other man. "That's what matters. What happened then is over. The past is the past, like you said."
Jack did not look convinced, but Ianto was determined to move on. "Come on, help me with the food. We'll go back to Martha's room and have something to eat before you tell everyone what you know."
"Okay," said Jack, though he didn't move. "But I need to tell you first, before the others. I need you to know, so that you can decide whether or not you want to be a part of this."
"Jack, that's ridiculous!" Ianto exclaimed. If he had been questioning what course of action to take earlier, he no longer had any doubts and voiced his desire. "Of course I want to be a part of it. I want to help if you'll let me, and nothing will change that."
Jack looked like he might actually be sick. "This could. In 1965, I was asked to help with a situation involving a hostile alien known as the 456. They had contacted Britain and demanded twelve children in exchange for an antivirus that would save millions of lives."
"Twelve children?" Ianto felt his heart freeze. Did that have something to do with why the children stopped and chanted? "Did you give them the children?"
"There was going to be an epidemic and millions would have died. It was twelve children who wouldn't be missed—orphans from Scotland—in exchange for the lives of millions of people around the world."
"And you were there?" Ianto whispered, trying to imagine the horrific ultimatum. It was blackmail, pure and simple: give us twelve children or an epidemic will decimate the rest of the population. A sacrifice of twelve for the lives of billions. It was not unlike what had happened with Jasmine Pierce and the fairies, and once again, Jack had been at the center of one of the most difficult decisions anyone had ever faced.
"I gave them the children," Jack replied as quietly as Ianto. "And now they're back."
For a long minute they simply stared at one another, at a loss for words, until Ianto stepped forward, placed a hand on Jack's shoulder and gently pulled him forward into a loose embrace. Jack let his head fall to Ianto's shoulder and held him tight, and Ianto melted into it, taking as much comfort as he gave. It had been ten months since he'd held or been held by Jack, after all. He was disturbed by Jack's confession, but sensed Jack was even more devastated by having to make it.
"Come on," he said when he pulled away. "Let's go back to the others."
Jack picked up a tray of food and started out of the kitchen. "Don't forget the coffee," he said over his shoulder. "Or there might be a mutiny."
Ianto rolled his eyes at Jack's obvious attempt at deflection, and joined him, coffee tray securely in hand.
"All right, people, what do we know?"
Jack's question was met with silence. They had finished eating, and everyone had a coffee cup to their mouth. Most avoided Jack's eyes as they sipped without answering. Jack sighed, sounding exasperated.
"Fine, let's work backwards, then, starting with last night. The Hub was blown up by a bomb planted in my stomach. Ianto, can you tell us everything you know about that?"
Ianto glanced up in surprised, hoping he'd be able to sit out most of the conversation and simply process what the others had to offer. Now it appeared that Jack was going to put him on the spot first. And that meant on top of sharing what he knew, he had to share at least a bit of how he knew it.
"I've been working with UNIT for several months," he began, continuing quickly when he saw both Gwen and Martha's looks of surprise. "Currently I am—or was—at Thames House as a liaison to the alien tech division of MI-5. Yesterday morning, before the children started chanting, an alien message was intercepted by Leon Dekker, their head of alien technology."
Jack nodded to encourage him. Ianto set down his coffee and continued.
"He took the message to the Home Office. When I asked him about contacting Torchwood, he told me that Torchwood would be taken care of. Something didn't sound right, so I did a bit of covert digging. I found a blank page order from the Home Office for the execution of four people, one of whom was Jack."
"How did you know about the bomb?" asked Gwen, unable to resist jumping in any longer. Ianto was surprised she had held out as long as she had.
"I contacted one of our sources at Whitehall. After I informed Jack, an attempt was made on my life as well."
Gwen gasped. "Are you all right?"
"I escaped," Ianto replied dryly. He ran a finger down the cut on his face. "Just this, although I should probably have someone take a look at my arm now that I'm surrounded by doctors and nurses." As soon as he said it, his arm started throbbing. Jack frowned at him.
"You didn't say anything about being injured," he pointed out.
"We've been busy," Ianto replied. "With more important things. I was able to escape and get help. My handler got in touch and told me that the order has been extended to the rest of the team." He paused. "And myself, as both Ianto Jones and my former identity."
"So your cover is blown?" asked Mickey, and Ianto nodded.
"My last one, yes. After spending the night at a safehouse, I got in touch with my handler again. We used another one of my identities to get me into the military base where Jack was being held. We got out and came here." Jack was looking at him with a complex mix of fondness and admiration, and Ianto had to glance away.
"Why would they want Jack dead?" asked Martha. "And what does this have to do with the children?"
Ianto glanced uncertainly at Jack. This part was Jack's story, and Ianto would not reveal the details of Jack's involvement forty years ago if Jack did not wish him to. Fortunately Jack took over the conversation.
"The aliens who left the message have been here before. We called them the 456 because of the frequency they used to broadcast their messages. The last time they were here, they demanded twelve children in exchange for an antivirus to save millions."
Martha gasped, and Gwen looked positively shocked; Mickey and Rhys shook their heads.
"You gave them children?" Mickey finally asked when no one else spoke.
"That was the threat, and the deal. That a mutating flu virus would kill millions unless we gave them twelve children in exchange for the cure." Jack's voice was flat, his eyes distant as he refused to meet anyone's eyes. Ianto felt his heart go out to the man, because he could only imagine what the confession was costing Jack.
"What do you mean by 'we', Jack?" asked Gwen, her voice quiet and deadly sounding. "Tell me you weren't a part of it."
Jack took a deep breath and met her wide eyes head on. "I was there. I'm guessing the other three on the list were also involved as well, although we didn't use our real names so I can't be sure. We gave them the children, and we haven't heard from them for over forty years. We assumed the deal had worked and that the planet was safe. Only now they're back."
"Why?" asked Martha. "Do they want more children?"
When Jack shrugged, Ianto stepped back into the conversation. "I don't know what the content of the message was, but it could be something similar. They may want more children in exchange for something else. And it seems to me…" He trailed off, meeting Jack's eyes and hating the pain he saw there, knowing he was about to create more.
"What?" asked Mickey, speaking for them all. "Spit it out. It can hardly get worse, can it?"
"If the government is trying to cover up what happened last time, it would seem to me that they intend to cooperate again. Why cover up the past if they were going to resist this time?"
"You really think they might want more children?" asked Gwen sharply. "And that the government would do such a thing?"
"I think it's very possible, yes." He met Jack's eyes and offered both silent apology and unconditional support. "And I think we need to stand up to them, or they may be back in another forty years."
Jack stared hard at him before jumping up and beginning to pace. "I agree. We need to assume the worst and be prepared to fight back this time. What are our resources?"
Again there was silence. Ianto did not feel it was his place to speak up, given that he was no longer a part of the team. Yet once again, Jack turned to him first, as if Ianto was still the one he counted on, and not one of the others.
"Ianto? What have we got?"
"We're all on the hit list now, so we're limited in where we can go and what we can do. I'd say we've got whatever's available here at Flat Holm." He paused and shrugged, hands tucked into his pockets. "I don't know what that is, however. I've been out of the loop for a while."
"This is a medical facility, not the Hub," Jack replied, arms crossed in front of him. "So we'll have some basics but not much. What do we need?" Ianto was struck by how familiar this was, how normal it felt. Once again it was as if he had never left.
"We need information," said Gwen before Ianto could answer. "We need to know what's going on—at Thames House, at Whitehall, everywhere."
"Ianto, you've got a source in Whitehall, right?"
"I talked to them yesterday," said Ianto. "But I'd say the more involved this gets, the more it will stay behind closed doors, and the more they might be at risk for exposure."
"So we need to get behind those doors," said Jack. "Mickey, what can you do for us?"
Mickey grimaced. "Not much with a broken arm, a few old computers, and some medical equipment."
"Could you hack into the Thames House system?" asked Ianto. "Security, cameras, that sort of thing?"
"I could do it from the Hub, sure," said Mickey. "But I don't know if I can do it from here."
"Gwen's right, we need information," said Jack. "And I think Ianto's right about our way in. Mickey, scour the island, scrounge up what you can use to set up a decent computer system, and let me know what else you need."
Mickey stood and mock saluted with his uninjured arm. "Back in an hour, boss."
"What about us, Jack?" asked Gwen. "I can talk to Lois Habiba again. She seemed receptive to helping us. She was the one who told us that you'd escaped."
Jack seemed to think about it, then glanced at Ianto, who shook his head with as much subtlety as he could. "We'll keep her in mind if we need another contact, some sort of way in. Right now Ianto already has an established source who's trained in espionage."
Gwen looked ready to protest, and Jack held up his hand. "We don't want to add more people to our exclusive little hit list, do we?" he asked her, and she bristled.
"No, but we need help, Jack. We can't do this alone from hundreds of miles away!"
Ianto watched Jack and Gwen face down, again reminded of how some things never changed. He almost smiled, then shook his head and stepped forward. "I'm hoping my handler will be in touch soon. He's already helped us once, we can count on him."
Jack nodded. "Great. But until we hear from your handler or Mickey gets what he needs to hack into Thames House, we still need to know what's going on out there. Gwen, Helen has a decent laptop—get on the news sites, the police sites, track down everything you can, like you did when this started."
"Does Flat Holm have a firewall of any sort?" asked Mickey. "We don't want to be flagged."
Jack nodded. "Good thinking. I knew there was a reason I brought you home. Get set up to search safely, then start looking for anything you can find, especially news about Jake. Find out what happened to him. Martha, how are you feeling?"
Martha struggled to sit up. "I've been better," she said. "What do you want me to do?"
"Stay in bed and rest that leg, for one," Jack replied. "Think about this thing with the children and the man you and Gwen met, see if we can't figure out how the 456 is using them or what it wants with them."
Martha nodded as Mickey and Gwen stood. "What will you do?" Gwen asked pointedly.
"What I always do," Jack replied with a smile. "Watch the rest of you do a great job."
Ianto rolled his eyes, and Gwen followed suit, sharing a smile before Gwen, Rhys, and Mickey left the room.
"What do you want me to do, Jack?" asked Ianto. "I'm reluctant to contact Bryan in case he's been compromised. Protocol dictates that he make the initial contact in situations like this."
"And I'm sure he will. In the meantime, I can think of several things we might do." Jack waggled his eyebrows and grinned.
"Seriously?" asked Ianto, disbelief obvious in his voice. "How can you even…never mind. It's you."
"Not in here!" Martha groaned from her bed. "Take it outside, you two. I do not need to see this." She paused. "At least, not when I can't enjoy it."
Jack winked at Martha, then took Ianto's arm and led him into the corridor. Once they were outside the room, Jack offered him a sheepish grin. "Don't worry, I was kidding. I mean, I'd love to, but now is clearly not the time, and I…" He paused and dropped his arm. "I don't even know if you're seeing anyone. You could be married for all I know."
Ianto looked at Jack in surprise. Did he think that Ianto had moved on in more ways than his career? That an undercover assignment with UNIT even lent itself to any sort of relationship? Judging from his comments, Ianto suspected that Jack was unattached as well. In spite of everything that had happened in the last two days, let alone the last ten months, Ianto knew it would be all too easy to fall back into bed with Jack. But then he'd be right back in the same situation that had driven him away, and he knew he couldn't go there, not now. Not with so much on the line.
He did, however, want to be honest with Jack. "There's no one," he said softly. "I guess you could say I'm married to the job." Which was true, in a way.
Jack laughed nervously. "I know how that is, that's for sure." They gazed at one another for a long moment, unsaid words caught in a web of doubt and insecurities, fear and hurt. It was Ianto who shook them out of it.
"So what are we really going to do whilst the others are getting things done?" he asked. Jack nodded and indicated that Ianto should follow.
"We're going to get your arm looked at first and you're going to tell me exactly what happened, and I want to talk to Dr. Tomlinson about Martha and Mickey. I have a feeling we're going to need to be closer to the action, but they might have to work from here considering their injuries. Then I want to talk to Martha about the children and see if the three of us can't come to a better understanding of what's going on."
Ianto followed with a silent nod. It was a start.
They met an hour later in Martha's room. Ianto's arm had been cleansed and wrapped, and Dr. Tomlinson had even given him a shot of antibiotics considering it had been untreated for almost twenty-four hours. Ianto had managed to hide his scars from Australia by only taking off one sleeve; for some reason, he was not ready for anyone, let alone Jack, to see the disfigurement on his left arm.
He and Jack had been updated on Martha and Mickey's condition, then spent time talking with both Martha and the doctor about how the 456 might be using the children, hijacking their voices and using them to communicate. The aliens had not used children in 1965, and so they had only vague ideas, ambiguous theories with little evidence, but it was something, and they hoped that the man Gwen and Martha had spoken to might provide more information should they be able to find and speak to him again.
Mickey came in with a list of tech available at Flat Holm that he could use, as well as a list of everything else he needed. Gwen brought a folder of printouts detailing the latest news on the strange happenings around the world. It was not much, and there was still no word on Jake Rogers, a fact that seemed to dishearten the others. After another hour, Jack told everyone to find an empty room and get some sleep.
"We need to be up early and ready to start on this."
"On what?" asked Mickey. "What's the plan, boss?"
"Tomorrow we find out what's going on in London, and if we have to, we make ourselves part of it." He looked at each one of them very seriously. "There is a reason they don't want us involved, and it's not a good one. Our mandate is to protect this planet, and if we have to protect it from our own leaders, then we will."
"Here, here!" said Rhys, and Gwen squeezed his hand.
At that moment, Ianto's mobile phone went off, startling them all. As the only people who could possibly have the number were Bryan or Cornelius, Ianto was not too worried, though he still answered with a simple, "Yes?"
"The ships hung in the sky," said a far too cheerful voice on the other end.
"Much the way that bricks don't," answered Ianto, rolling his eyes. Before he turned away, he caught Jack's curious glance and Mickey's snort. Gwen said something quietly to Rhys, who chuckled, but Ianto left the room to talk privately before catching it.
"You're alive," said Bryan Wells.
"Thanks to you," said Ianto, and he meant it. Everything he'd needed to get into and out of Aston Down had been thanks to Bryan, from the false orders to the well-rigged SUV, the base lockdown to the get-away car.
"You used the tools and training right, kid," said Bryan. "I'm impressed. I half thought I'd be breaking you both out of some black ops site myself."
"I did too!" Ianto laughed in spite of himself, nervous energy dissipating with relief at hearing from his handler, and because he had thought the same thing.
"Well, we both did good, then," said Bryan. "Now, are you safe?"
"Yes, I'm—" started Ianto, but the older man cut him off.
"I don't need to know. I have a pretty good idea of your general area. How's Harkness?"
"Almost back to his old self," said Ianto, thinking that Jack was in fact doing remarkably well for having been blown up. He wondered if there would be a delayed reaction later on, once the crisis passed. He had only seen it once, when Jack had returned from his trip with the Doctor. He'd barely made it through the mess with John Hart and got them all into their hotel rooms before he'd collapsed, both physically and emotionally.
"Sounds dangerous," murmured Bryan. "Look, they're definitely onto you. Broderick Cole is blown and Johnson is beyond pissed off that you nicked Harkness from right under her. According to Delta Vega, the Home Office is worried too. They definitely want Harkness kept out of this, which means they've pretty much given Johnson free rein to get the job done."
"But why?" asked Ianto. "That's what we can't figure out. Why are they trying to silence Jack?"
"Was he involved last time?"
Ianto was silent, debating how much to tell Bryan. He decided he couldn't tell the man everything, because it was not his secret to share, but he had to tell his handler the basics. "He was there, yes. He said the last time the 456 were here was 1965. They demanded children in exchange for the anti-virus to a deadly mutation of the flu."
"Jesus," said Bryan softly. "And did the government deal?"
"They did," said Ianto, closing his eyes with a sad sigh as he once again tried to imagine the difficult situation Jack had faced. "Twelve children for millions of lives."
"Do you think they're back for more?" asked Bryan.
"It would explain why the government wants to cover up what happened last time. If they intended to fight back, why deny the past? Make it public, stir public outrage to garner more support for resistance."
"Whereas if they intend to give these things more kids, they'll want it all done hush-hush, hence no Harkness."
"And no Torchwood," added Ianto. "We'd never stand for it. We'd find another way." He realized he'd included himself as part of Torchwood and wondered if Bryan would pick up on it as well.
Bryan was silent for a moment. "The good of the many, Ianto…" he said, trailing off, and Ianto sighed in frustration.
"I know, I know. I've experienced it myself. I've seen Jack make the hard decisions. There's something about this that's different, though. They've come back. If we don't stop them, they could very well keep coming back!"
"Oh, I agree completely," said Bryan. "But I think you're right about Whitehall. They won't see it that way. I bet Green is pissing his pants, and it has nothing to do with giving up a bunch of kids to alien extortionists and everything to do with politics and saving his golden arse."
"I hate politicians," Ianto grumbled.
"Of course you do," laughed Bryan. "Because our job is to fix their mistakes, only they get the credit. So what's Harkness's plan for fixing this one?"
"We need to get into Thames House, maybe Whitehall and see what's going on. I don't mean in person," he added when Bryan started to protest. "We've got our tech guy working on the computer systems, hoping we can eavesdrop or something."
"I'll see what I can do from my end. Then what?"
"We need to know what exactly these aliens want and how they're communicating through the children. Martha Jones had been looking into it when it started, we're hoping to come up with some sort of working theory for not only what's going on, but how to stop it."
"Sounds like a delightfully vague sort of plan," said Bryan, and Ianto snorted.
"We're all wanted by the government, Bryan. What did you expect? We have to keep our heads down if we're going to be able to do anything at all."
"Oh, I know. But how are you going to get the tech you need for Smith?" Ianto wasn't surprised Bryan knew exactly who Mickey was. "Or anything else you need, for that matter, like weapons? Do you have anything you can use if it comes down to fighting?"
"Not much," Ianto admitted. "Especially alien tech."
"You've got some sources in the area, right?"
"Yes, and Jack has even more, if I recall correctly."
"What about the Hub?" asked Bryan. "Anything you can salvage there? There's already talk of UNIT moving in as soon as they can spare the manpower from the current crisis."
Ianto stopped in surprise. He had originally planned on going to the Hub, hoping to find the lowest levels safe and secure. When Jack had told him to come to Flat Holm instead, he'd completely forgotten about it. If the archives had been locked down properly, there could be a something useful down there. It could even be worth the risk to head back in the morning and scavenge what they could. Once again his handler had provided the answers.
"We'll check it out first thing in the morning," he said. "Thanks, Bryan."
"Don't thank me yet, kid. You might not find anything but a big hole in the group and a trigger happy sniper sentry. Keep your head down and your eyes open."
"Johnson was at Aston Down with her team," Ianto said sharply. "Did she leave someone in Cardiff?"
"I don't know for sure," said Bryan, "but I'd think so. She's too good not to. And I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to find out for you."
"What do you mean?" Ianto demanded. "Are you in danger?"
Bryan snorted on the other end of the line. "We all are, Ianto. Every damn day, and this week more than usual. I've tried to cover up as best as I could, but it's possible, however unlikely, that the bastards behind this might track those false orders for Harkness back to me."
"Shit," murmured Ianto. "What are you going to do?"
"Relax, kid." Bryan laughed, but Ianto could hear the genuine nervousness below the bluster. "Like I said, I'm covering my tracks and coming up with a plan, like my handler taught me and I taught you. But if at some point I've got to disappear, you know what to do."
Ianto nodded to himself. As a backup plan, it was rubbish, but when agents or handlers went silent it was the only way to get back in contact. He hoped it didn't come to that; he would hate to see Bryan in even more danger. He had a family. Which reminded Ianto of his own.
"Were you able to get to Rhiannon and Alice before they did?" he asked, dreading the answer.
"Your sister's fine. Some of Johnson's people went to talk to them and are keeping watch in case you show up, but they're safe. I've got my own people there as well. Same with Alice Carter."
"Is this number safe?" asked Ianto, hoping they hadn't given anything away regarding Jack's family in particular. He imagined Bryan sitting at a computer somewhere in London, nodding as he typed away.
"I wouldn't have called otherwise. I'll continue to initiate contact. Right now plan on every six hours. Did you get your wound looked at?"
Ianto laughed. "Yes, by a real doctor, even. I'm fine. Exhausted, terrified, and confused, but that's normal, isn't it?"
"In our line of work, it's a good day," Bryan retorted in that quick way he had. "Okay, get some rest. I need to do the same before my fingers fall off from typing. I'll be in touch, unless the world goes to hell before then. And hopefully I won't interrupt anything."
There was a definite hint of teasing in his handler's voice, and Ianto rolled his eyes even though Bryan couldn't see him. "We're in the middle of a global crisis, Bryan. That's the farthest thing from my mind."
"Yeah right," snorted Bryan. "Just don't do anything you'll regret, Ianto."
"I'll try," Ianto murmured. "Stay safe."
"You too." They said their farewells and Ianto reluctantly hung up, his stomach tight with the fear that every conversation he had with his handler might be his last. Not wanting to go back to the others quite yet, Ianto decided he needed some time alone. He headed toward the door, hoping to find a quiet but safe place outside where he could sit and think.
Making his way along a dark path, Ianto reconsidered the wisdom of coming out on the rocky island at night as he slipped once again. Yet his mind was spinning from everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, and sitting under the stars, gazing out at the Bay and toward the city was something he needed to do. He needed to center himself and somehow move past the fear, anger, and shame that was assailing him and refusing to leave him alone.
Now was not the time for self-flagellation. He needed to focus on the professional mission, not the personal complications; he could deal with those later, after they'd won. Pulling his knees to his chest, Ianto wondered what the cost of victory would be this time. Would he lose his job, his friends? Would he lose Jack…or his own life?
Trying to focus on working solutions and not tragic outcomes, Ianto did not hear anyone approach from down the path until he felt a presence behind him. Because he recognized it immediately, he did not react, but continued to gaze out at the water, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"How are you, Ianto?" asked Jack. Ianto was immediately reminded of another time Jack had asked Ianto the same question, when he'd returned from traveling with his Doctor. Back then Ianto had been confused by Jack's unexpected return; this time he was the one who had left and come back. He wasn't sure how he felt and remained silent.
"Can I join you?" asked Jack, and this time Ianto nodded. Jack sat down next to him in a similar position, close enough that their shoulders touched. A part of Ianto wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around Jack, pull him close and sit there until dawn, drawing strength from one another. Yet he was not sure how that would be received, at least until Jack did exactly what Ianto had been thinking, turning toward Ianto and offering his hand. When Ianto accepted, he pulled Ianto to sit between his legs and wrapped his arms around Ianto' chest, letting them rest over Ianto's heart. Which was starting to beat somewhat faster, enfolded in Jack's warmth as he was. He could have happily fallen asleep right there on the cold outcrop.
"We should go to the Hub tomorrow," Ianto said quietly, hating to break the peaceful silence. "We need equipment, weapons. Something is bound to have survived the explosion in the lower levels, as long as we can get to them."
"I was thinking the same thing," said Jack. "Was that Bryan who called?" When Ianto nodded, Jack continued. "Did he have any news?"
"Not really, I think things are quiet right now," replied Ianto. "Johnson is furious that we got away. My Broderick Cole cover is blown. And Bryan is more worried than he let on about being compromised himself."
"Damn," murmured Jack. "I'm sorry."
"He's good, he can take care of himself," said Ianto.
"But you wish you were there, in London to help him."
Ianto considered it, trying not to guess at the tone in Jack's voice. Yes, a part of him wanted to be in London. He and Bryan had become a good team in the short time they had been working together, and Ianto trusted the man more than he trusted just about anyone else. He knew, however, that there wasn't much he could do that Bryan couldn't, especially with Ianto being the one who was wanted. In fact, it was likely that Ianto had already put Bryan in danger by simply being one of Bryan's agents. Though all attempts were made to keep the handler/agent relationship confidential, it was not a foolproof system, and either Marc Howell or Broderick Cole could eventually be traced back to Bryan Wells.
And truth be told, Ianto was glad to be back with Torchwood, and with Jack. He'd missed fighting side by side with Jack when he'd gone to Nevada; he'd desperately wanted Jack when he was fighting the Daleks in Australia. Now they were facing another catastrophe, and Ianto was exactly where he wanted to be: with Jack. He felt wanted and needed, and somehow safer and stronger. It was an unsettling admission to make, and he set it aside, because as with everything else, now was not the time to dwell on his personal situation.
He did, however, need to answer Jack.
"I'm where I should be," he said quietly. He felt Jack inhale sharply behind him, then wrap his arms even tighter around Ianto, as if worried that Ianto was going leave even after such a confession. They were silent for a long moment, savoring the touch and feel and even the scent of one another, something neither one of them had done for so long. Yet Ianto knew Jack would want to talk more, given the circumstances of Ianto's absence.
"You have no idea how glad I am that you're here," Jack murmured, starting the conversation. "With us, with me." He paused, and Ianto felt Jack swallow behind him. "I missed you," he whispered, his voice cracking.
"I missed you too," Ianto whispered back, determined not to shed tears. He'd done that during the two months he'd wandered, trying to find his path before taking the road to UNIT.
Jack took a deep breath and held Ianto tighter. "Please tell me why you left."
What could he say? He wasn't ready to really talk about it, even if it might clear the air and let them work without distractions. So Ianto told himself that they needed to focus on what was going on around them, not between them. And because he had no idea if they would survive, he couldn't even begin to think about the future, whether it involved UNIT or Torchwood or Jack.
"Did you read my letter?" Ianto asked quietly, and Jack nodded.
"A hundred times. And every time I thought I understood, it slipped away from me."
"There's nothing else to explain," Ianto said wearily, highly aware that he was about to deflect Jack yet again. "I couldn't let you, or the team, go through what you did when Owen was shot. I didn't want to do that to you."
"We went through it anyway, with Tosh and Owen," Jack said softly.
"I know," said Ianto, closing his eyes miserably. "And I'm so sorry you lost them. But I wanted to give you the peace of mind that at least I was still alive somewhere, safe and happy, living a normal life away from Torchwood."
"I never stopped looking for you, not really," said Jack. "I wanted to be sure you were safe and happy." He paused, sounding unsure of his next question. "Were you? Safe and happy?"
Ianto thought about it. "Definitely not safe, considering where I ended up," he laughed. "But there were times when I was more at peace than here at Torchwood. There were no ghosts following me through the corridors, no insecurities holding me back. I got to start all over. But at other times, it was too much like living a lie, with so many different names, so many different roles to play, and all of them only a part of who I really was. I missed you, and the others, and Torchwood, but I also missed me. Ianto Jones."
He was surprised by what came out. He'd never vocalized it before, though he'd certainly had his doubts. That he was speaking them out loud to Jack after not having seen the man for so many months spoke volumes of his trust in Jack, of feelings that he'd tried to deny, but feelings that had not gone away and were now coming back full force.
"What will happen next?" asked Jack, acknowledging Ianto's confession with simple acceptance rather than judgment. It was one of so many things that Ianto had missed about Jack.
"I don't know," said Ianto, and again he refused the tears that threatened to fall. "I don't know if I want to go back to what I was with UNIT, not exactly, but I don't know if I can go back to Torchwood, if Torchwood even exists anymore." He sighed. "We just need to survive, I suppose. One day at a time."
"One day at a time," murmured Jack, and he placed a gentle kiss to Ianto's temple that sent shivers down his spine. "Come inside. Come to bed with me."
"Jack—" Ianto started, meaning to protest, but Jack squeezed him tighter.
"We both need sleep," Jack said. "We have a long day ahead of us. I need this as much as you do." When Ianto didn't respond, Jack spoke softly in his ear. "Comfort, Ianto. That's all I offer, and all I want. Please."
Wearily, Ianto nodded. Jack was right. It was all Ianto could offer of himself as well, and all he wanted. At least they could give that to one another before the next day dawned and brought more threats and challenges. Behind him, Jack stood and helped Ianto up next to him. He captured Ianto's lips in a chaste kiss, then took his hand, and they walked back to the bunker, hand in hand, ready to face the new day together.
Author's Note:
Wow, I apologize for the long delay on this chapter! I had not realized it had been so long, though in my defense, I did go out of town twice. And it's a very long chapter. I had hoped to stick to an every other week sort of schedule, but I've caught up to myself now and things are getting complicated, so I'll do my best. Imagining the situation with the 456 under a different set of unique circumstances requires a lot of planning. Which is why I must once again thank my amazing beta, Tamaar, for all her hard work not only editing the actual chapters you read here, but also for an incredible amount of plotting. Lots of plotting! Please thank her as well by reading her latest story, Choices. I've had the privilege of seeing a bit and it's wonderful! Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed this chapter!