Author's notes:

Sorry about the rather big delay of this chapter. The last few months have been a little stressful fro me. I didn't have all that much time with school and stuff and whenever I had time, my muse seemed to be busy. But it's vacation-time now, so you can expect more chapters pretty soon.

Chapter 10: Restless

"She was provoked!" Xander cried out in frustration.

"As I heard it Hailey was the one who was originally provoked. In any case, the fact remains that she endangered the life of a Slayer, in front of room full of witnesses. We cannot allow her to keep teaching here. In fact, as of now, she will no longer be welcome here." Travers countered gleefully.

Xander gritted his teeth in frustration. Travers always got on his nerves with his warped priorities. He seemed to care more about the witnesses than the actual endangerment of the Slayer's life. Slayers were expendable to him, it was only reputation points that he cared about.

"So what? You're just going to alienate the most powerful witch on the planet for one little slip-up? She created the Slayers, for god sake!"

"Miss Rosenberg is a liability. Her power may be substantial, but without control it's useless."

"No." Xander said firmly. He had enough of all the debating. He had enough of having to struggle against rules and politics. "You know what? I'm the one in charge here and I say she stays."

Travers smirked in triumph. "You might want to re-think that. There are already many among the Council who question your leadership capabilities. Your education is meager to say the least, you have no special skills, and it was your idea to employ an emotionally unstable Witch. If they hear you let her stay after this, you and your witch very likely won't be here for long."

"I'm sorry Mr. Harris, but I agree with Mr. Travers." Robinson added. "By now everything that has happened has spread through the whole school. Even if Miss Rosenberg can keep her Magic under control, the Slayers will be guarded around her. That will make it difficult for her to tutor them properly. Not to mention that it will do little for her self-esteem. Her time would be better spent re-establishing control of her magic and emotions."

God, Xander hated this. It was all his fault. If he had just kept his anger towards Oz in check, none of this would have happened. He reluctantly decided that for now it was best to give in to the wishes of the Council. He just didn't know how to tell her she wasn't allowed to teach anymore. She always looked so much happier when she was teaching the Slayers.

"What the hell is she?" Hailey demanded from Oz as her sprained wrist was being bandaged in the infirmary. She was still reeling from the fight...slaughter actually. Being the alpha in her pack of werewolves, meant that she was rarely challenged. Nor did she have much experience fighting the supernatural, despite the fact that she was a magical cross between a human and a wolf.

"Wiccan." Oz returned as he eyed his mate slightly worried.

"Wiccan?" she asked in disbelief. "I've met Wiccas, they don't just shake magical shields out of their sleeves!"

"Dark magic." Oz added softly. He knew what was going to come next. Hailey had a very firm opinion about how the world, including the supernatural, should work and how people should behave. And she was passionate when it came to expressing those opinions.

"Dark Magic?" She cried in outrage. "That's it, were on the next plane out of here! Did any of you have any knowledge about the supernatural at all?" She continued, waving her uninjured arm in wide gestures. "You don't do dark magic! It's the number one wiccan rule. The consequences of dark magic are always worse than any gain you might get from it!"

"We were desperate sometimes." Even as Oz said the words he thought about what Giles said about dark Willow almost ended the world herself and realized that it was a weak argument at best.

"I don't believe it. She nearly killed me and now you're defending her!" Hailey accused.

Oz looked away. "She was never like this." he explained. "She was the sweetest girl I had ever met."

Hailey frowned. Though she was quite confident about the relationship between her and Oz, this was going into dangerous territory. Oz was extremely loyal, which was partly why she had chosen him. She had needed a strong male to secure her position in the pack, one who wouldn't just follow whoever was the alpha female at any given time, but who would stick with her. With him at her side, anyone who challenged her was up against him as well. And if she ever got demoted to beta, he would still be at her side. But this was different; an older loyalty could overrule his loyalty to her.

"Do you still love her?" She asked concerned.

Oz hesitated. "My human half loves the Willow she once was, but even the way she used to be she was unsuitable as a wolf." He looked back at Hailey with certainty. "Willow is not a potential mate."

She smiled in relief and embraced him into a passionate kiss. She had to admit that Oz had grown closer to her than was custom for an Alpha-couple. Thouchy-feeling stuff usually only occured with the Beta's, but sometimes Hailey couldn't help herself with him.

"We should stay." the blue-haired werewolf said as they broke the kiss.

Hailey scowled back. "Why? So you can be around you ex-lover?"

Oz smiled in amusement at the twinge of jealousy in her voice. One of the things he loved about her was the stubborn denial of any of the more human emotions. She was a true alpha and didn't like to show any weaknesses. But he often liked those weaknesses, they made things more interesting. In private he sometimes tried to get her to lower her guard to get a glimpse of her true feelings, and it worked. She was opening up to him more and more, even though she still kept a firm lid on her emotions in public. And she seemed happier because of it.

"You're here to learn control. The Watchers Council is not trustworthy, but I trust Willow and Xander."

"Xander." she growled suddenly. "The guy who hit you."

"He was defending the honor of one of his pack."

Hailey looked at him for a moment and then gave in.

"Fine, but any more funny business from that witch and we're gone, okay?"

Oz nodded in agreement, even though part of him didn't feel to keen on abandoning Willow again. He felt some responsibility for her situation. But he had other responsibilities now, and he doubted he would be able to do any more to help Willow than Xander was already doing.

Xander was sitting restlessly in his office-chair vainly trying to do the paperwork that was months overdue. Of course, with everything that was going on it was little wonder that his thoughts kept straying. Not only had he had to 'expel' Willow from the school, there had also been next to no progress on the research of that vampire-portal. Hailey seemed on the brink of leaving, the only factor stopping her was Oz. And there was Travers.

He had hated Travers from the moment he saw him. No good could come from the stuffy brit. But there was more to it than that. Travers was definitely giving off bad vibes lately. He had been more gleeful than angry about Willow's actions. Every fiber of his being told him that Travers would cause trouble and his instincts had never been wrong... except with women. Women definitely messed with his instincts. Nearly every woman he had ever met and liked, had at one point tried to kill him. In fact Tara had pretty much been the only exception. He smiled sadly at the memory of the shy blond witch. He had always regretted not taking the time to get to know her better.

When it came to guys he was usually right on the money though. He had hated Angel, and the souled vampire had ended up bringing nothing but trouble. He had hated Spike, and again with the trouble! Okay, so them being undead had been something of a giveaway. On second though, maybe he should just leave the whole instinct thing to the Slayers.

The knock on the door nearly startled him out of his chair. De door opened showing a slightly nervous Perry, which was no surprise since Perry was pretty much always nervous.

"Eh... Xander, s-sister Agnes is here to s-s-see you."

"Damnit!" Xander exclaimed. Another problem. Sister Agnes didn't know about the supernatural, well other than God and Angels anyway. She was the legal guardian of Sera, his favourite student, and probably here to 'inspect' the school. It was a good thing that standard policy was to keep everything supernatural restricted to the gym and 'chemistry' lab D.

"Watch you mouth, young man!" came the authoritative voice of the nun and head of the st. Peters Orphanage as she stept through the doorway. "Had you been one of my children, I'd have you eat soap!"

Personally Xander thought 'Dammit' was pretty mellow considering the circumstances. Actually 'dammit' was pretty much mellow in any circumstances unless you were a priest or well...a nun.

"Sorry Ma'am. It's just been a rough day...well week...or maybe life."

Sister Agnes softened at his explanation. "Well, mind your language in the future and the lord may forgive you."

"I will try." He promised. "Anyway, welcome to shule ya wakingaji. Also known as not-quite-Waikiki by most of the girls. This is the principal's office, which would make me Principal Xander at your service."

At the sight of Agnes' unamused frown Xander realized this was going to be an even longer day than he had initially expected.

"Sister Agnes!" Sera squealed in delight and ran towards her for a warm embrace. She had learned to be more careful with her strength in the past few weeks so that her 'victim', as Xander only half-jokingly called people who were on the receiving end of Slayer-hugs, didn't even grunt this time.

A moment later Sister Agnes held her at arms length and smiled. "It's good to see that you are well, my dear."

Sera beamed a smile back. "I'm glad to see you too, Sister Agnes." And she was. Even if Sister Agnes tended to be a little strict about almost everything, she was always there for her when Sera needed help. Help that Sister Agnes couldn't give when she was on the other side of the continent. True, there were people here at the school who she could ask for help, but it just wasn't the same. Agnes was sort of her mother after all.

Agnes smiled at the sight of her oldest charge. The young girl seemed to glow from the happiness and energy that she projected. Agnes had been becoming increasingly worried in these past few weeks, unsure of whether sending her to this unknown school had been a good idea. Now much of that worry was gone. Seeing Sera talking about her new friends and smiling so easily warmed her heart.

At home Sera had become isolated, especially her last few months at the orphanage. She had had few friends and barely talked to anyone at all. Agnes had known something was wrong. Her charge had been increasingly angry and irritated and had taken that anger out on furniture, claiming afterwards that it had been an accident. Agnes would have believed her claims if they had been anywhere near plausible, but the fact remained that solid wooden doors didn't just break on accident. In fact, it was difficult enough to break them on purpose. She sighed inwardly as she reminded herself she still needed to find the funds to replace the kitchen door.

At least Sera hadn't gotten in any trouble here at the Wakingaji school. Though, she had to admit that this school was a little strange. Medieval weapons were on display everywhere. This was on par with the name of the school, as Wakingaji was Swahili for 'Protectors' or 'Defenders'. But all these sharp objects within reach of the children wasn't what she would call a safe learning environment. She also noted that most of the other children here were at least 4 years older than Sera and each one of them would be considered beautiful by most standards. It made her a little suspicious about how these girls were being selected.

Sister Agnes wasn't finished here. She had to make sure it was alright for Sera to stay here, and she had a couple of days to find out before she would have to return to the orphanage.

Willow was once again sitting in her 'witchy garden of peace'. Her eyes were closed and her legs crossed in the standard meditating position. This time she wasn't trying to focus for a spell or magical control. This time she was trying to step away from her thoughts and feeling in order to try and figure out why she was having so much trouble controlling herself.

It was something she had learned in Westbury after she nearly destroyed the world. It had taken months before her first accomplishment in that area, and it was possibly the most difficult form of meditation she had ever tried, but it had helped her control a lot. It was about knowing yourself, exploring weaknesses and strengths and possibly altering them. Often just knowing the weakness or strength changed it. Awareness was half the cure.

It wasn't working though. Her thoughts and emotions kept ripping through her like bullets, shattering any peace from her mind. Every time she closed her eyes one of the worst memories in her life flashed before her: The bloody shirt of Tara, Oz leaving, The magical draining of Rack, Learning Jessie's fate, Getting picked upon by Cordelia, Buffy jumping of the tower. There were so many more of them and everyday they were becoming more and more detailed and horrific. She couldn't help thinking about them no matter how hard she tried.

Instead she tried to think of good times: The many happy days she had with Tara and Oz, Her old friendship with Xander and Jessie. Those memories were increasingly difficult to access, even the recent ones.

A couple of weeks ago Xander had taken her to the Zoo, well at least he had wanted to. He had driven her to Nairobi, a 3 hour trip. Every major city in the US had a Zoo, often more than one, but all the Capital city of Kenya had was a small snake park consisting of reptiles. Willow wasn't a fan of a reptiles, they were all slithery and slimy, like frogs. Sticking their forked tongues out every few seconds as they looked at her with unblinking eyes. Okay so frogs didn't have forked tongues, but the way they blew up their cheeks so far they looked like they could explode at any moment. She shivered just thinking about them. It was a very uncomfortable hour in the snake park.

It wasn't all bad, though. After the snake park they went into the city trying to find the ice-cream stand with the best ice by testing them all. They talked and laughed about old times. But everytime she tried to think about that, the snake park came to her mind instead.

Then the were the nightmares. Every night Willow had one, most of them about Tara. It had gotten to the point that she was afraid to fall asleep. The worst part was waking up with noone to comfort her. She kept wishing she hadn't broken up with Kennedy, even if their relationship wasn't much more than physical. At least Kennedy used to be with her every morning. These days she felt so alone, especially now that she wasn't allowed at the Slayer school anymore.

She was beginning to wonder why she had come here to Xander in the first place, all she was to him was a distraction from the work he should be doing.

Xander watched her lying on the bed, staring at the wall lifelessly. He hated to see her this way; so helpless and broken. She had been like this ever since Tara's death. It wasn't constant. Sometimes she was okay, 'okay' being a very relative term here. When Kennedy had come into the picture she was okay most of the time, but she was never really happy anymore. There were only the moments where she forgot her sadness, that was the happiest he ever saw her. After Kennedy she got back to grieving, but at the same time that grieving seemed somehow better than when she was with Kennedy being okay. But now it was bad again, almost as bad as the days after her rampage. .

When she came here to Africa he had made it his job to make her smile a true smile. Even if it was just once. It was the only thing that seemed worthwhile after Anya's death.

He didn't remember much of the months after they left behind the Sunnydale crater. All he remembered was being in a daze for most of the time, unable to sleep, yet too tired to do anything. Then Giles asked him to oversee the training of Slayers here in Africa, and just the idea of having some kind of purpose made him jump at the opportunity. Right now he was beginning to regret that jump.

He wasn't really cut out to be head of this Slayer school. He hated all the paperwork involved and didn't even know what half of the documents he had signed were about. Then there was the whole Watcher Council politics. Why couldn't they just forget about all the rules and policies, and train Slayers and slay demons instead? That was what it was all about wasn't it? Protecting the earth, the Slayers. At least, it wasn't about who was in control of what department and who made the final decisions.

His firsts months here he hadn't even considered whether this was what he wanted in his life. He had just put his brain on automatic and did what was expected of him. Then Willow knocked on his door and everything changed.

She had broken up with Kennedy and came to him for comfort. Not Giles, not Buffy, him. He had wanted to give her that comfort for nearly two years, but he never knew how. He hadn't had a clue as to what she had been going through. And then there was the added problem of their dwindling friendship. He and Willow hadn't been good friends in a long while. High school had torn them apart and while they were still friends after that experience, they weren't close anymore.

When she came to him, he saw the opportunity to reconnect with her. She had wordlessly asked him for help, comfort. And it was his duty as a friend to do everything in his power to help her. But he was failing.

For a while she had seemed to get better. Her motions became lighter, her smiles more frequent and genuine, but it didn't last. Now he had no idea what to do.

Whenever he saw her meditate during the day, his left eye socket ached just watching her. He never knew whether he should hold her or let her meditate in the hope that she would find some peace that way. When he saw her trying to get to sleep all he wanted to do was hold her and make everything go away. But he was afraid. Afraid of doing the wrong thing. Despite all the time they had spent together, watching movies, talk, play boardgames, their friendship still wasn't at that kind of comfort level.

He was beginning to wonder if they'd ever be able to reach that level. And if it was possible, then how would they go about doing that? This whole friendship thing had been so much easier when they were younger. Now there was all this stuff looming over them. Things they had once said to each other. Secrets they had kept from each other. Tons of regrets. Even if they were able to restore their friendship, would it be in time?

Willow was getting worse everyday. He didn't understand what was happening to her, but he felt he had to do something. She had come to him for help, if he couldn't help his best friend then what kind of friend was he? If he couldn't help her, then he was as useless as his father had always said he was. His biggest accomplishments in life had gone down the sinkhole with the rest of Sunnydale. He wasn't a foreman anymore, he couldn't get a construction job with the lack of his left eye. He didn't like his current job. His ex-fiancée was dead. He didn't have a girlfriend. He was a lousy friend to Willow and Buffy.

He stopped his self-reproach. The old Willow would have chided him for doubting himself and told him with no uncertainty that he wasn't useless to her. The way she saw him had always meant the world to him and it still did.

With new determination he stepped into Willow's room. He had promised himself that he'd do anything he could to help her out. While what he was about to do might not work, he had to at least try.

Xander lay himself next to her on the bed and put an arm around her. He noted in relief that she curled up against him and buried her left cheek in his chest. Maybe they had restored more of their friendship than he had thought. It didn't matter. All he cared about was lessening Willow's pain, because her pain was partly his.