They Called Upon A Midnight Buzzed
Bonus Chapter
Call 0: Juri
I've been looking forward to this party ever since Ruki told us her Mom and Grandmother were going to be out of town until January. It's just the other Tamers, nothing big. I was surprised she decided to throw a party at all. Ruki's not exactly the "social gathering" type. Then again, she's the same on the outside but completely different on the inside – Ever since the Digital World, she became "nice," in her own way...
...I don't really like to think about the Digital World sometimes. Even after all these years it's still so hard to think about. The others, things went much better for them than for me. Takato, especially, but…
…I can never forget the day Leomon died. I'll never forget Leomon. Or…that thing, I-I get scared even thinking about…
…D-Reaper…
But…When I do think about them, there's one thing that makes those memories not only bearable but...I might even smile a little. Because I'm thinking about my knight in shining armor.
Takato. Or, Dukemon to be exact but…Takato was my Knight. He fought to avenge Leomon and stood down when I told him I didn't want to see anymore death. And when D-Reaper held me captive…Takato came to my rescue. He did everything he could to save me, I know he would have never given up no matter what happened…Takato saved my life. He really is my knight in shining armor.
Takato does so much for me, I don't even have to ask. He's always there if I need him, it's like he can sense when I need his help or to hear his voice. I know he cares a lot about me.
I feel the same and more. I love Takato. It's been so many years since the Digital World…I don't know why we're still "just friends." It's obvious we're so much more at this point. I guess the reason is "us." I…I just can't put how I feel for him into words, I try and...I just can't figure out what to say or how to even approach the subject directly. So far, I've only been able to drop a hint or two.
But…I think it would be more romantic if he confessed. I know he feels the same, it doesn't really matter who confesses at this point. I just want to hear him tell me, it's how I've pictured the moment.
I'm standing with him, he takes my hand gently, smiling as he tells me he loves me. That he does all he does for me because of that love. And I smile and say, "I love you, too, Takato." We…We kiss and announce to our friends that, finally, it's happened…We're together. Forever. Everyone's expecting it to happen someday, they've all said something at some point or another. It's just a matter of who confesses first, like I said…
…But Takato is…How do I put this…? I would just say "shy" but that's an understatement. I've hinted at things here and there, even in front of the others and Takato's parents and…I don't think he notices. If he does, he's too shy to say anything. I…I almost wonder if he's afraid I might turn him down. And that's why it never comes up.
Takato, I've…been waiting for you to confess for so long. I would never turn you down. Not after all you've done. You're my knight in shining armor. You saved me so many times and, even when you lost that shining armor, you still act like that knight.
I've decided that it's time Takato got some "help" with his confession. Takato, as shy as he is, can't keep a secret if he's had anything to drink. It's well known among all of us, ever since Hirokazu brought beer to Kenta's birthday party a couple years ago. Alcohol is truth serum to Takato. The last time he got drunk, he admitted to keeping a life-sized Guilmon plush doll in his room (hidden in his closet, I've seen it now and then when he opens it - It's a little shorter than the "real thing") and sometimes going to sleep with it…
…As embarrassed as he was to admit to that, we all sort of understood. Jen even confessed to doing the same with a Terriermon plush to make Takato feel less upset. Things like that constantly slip out, always something personal and embarrassing. He avoids alcohol because of it, Hirokazu, Ruki and Ryou don't bother trying to get him drunk anymore, either (Kenta's their usual target for that, now, he's really funny when he's drunk). So, to do this, I'll need to be a little sneaky.
Of course, I'm not planning to get him wasted or anything, just enough to get him to loosen up and confess. I-I don't want my perfect Christmas confession ruined because Takato fell over drunk. While no-one was in the room, I spiked the punch with some blackberry schnapps. I tried a cup, I couldn't tell it was there. A few of the others have had a cup or two, though…I should have waited longer but Takato's the last to arrive and it was my only chance. As soon as he walks into this room, I'm going to offer him a glass of punch and…We'll see how it goes.
I…I really want that Christmas confession. Christmas is a time for lovers and all, everyone tries to be with who they love on Christmas Eve. And Ruki's party is a Christmas Eve party…It's perfect. I even…Ha ha ha, I made a special order from the Matsuda Bakery yesterday and picked it up this morning,
The T-Chan Special, a Christmas cake covered with strawberries. "T-chan" (AKA Takato) loves strawberries, so his parents put that on the menu one year when he was about five. Takato even has a T-Chan special on Christmas morning with his family, he says. It's his favorite item on the menu at Christmas…
…We'll share it as a couple, I asked for some extra room in the center where there should be more strawberries. Mrs. Matsuda gave me the missing strawberries on the side, I plan to arrange them to look like the outline of a heart and write our names in frosting:
Takato
Juri
And with a heart between our names.
…Our "love cake"…
…I can't wait. This will be perfect. A romantic Christmas Eve confession…I'm sure everyone will be happy for us, I know a lot of them are expecting this. Kenta's told me more than a few times how he thinks Takato and I would make a great couple. He and I hang out a lot these days, he's a lot of fun to be with. He's funny, unlike Hirokazu...Well, okay, the guys think Hirokazu is funny, especially if he's drunk and does something completely stupid…
…Like streaking. No, really, I-I…I've seen Hirokazu go streaking on a drunken dare. I still can't get the image out of my head…
…It was a party at Ryou's after he…quit taking "aspirin." I'm glad he's off that stuff but…He drinks a lot, as if to compensate for his lack of "aspirin." He even has a silver flask on his with something strong at all times. I see him sip from it a lot… …Ryou…had some problems after the Digital World, let's just say that.
Anyway, there was some drinking at Ryou's party and… …Takato and Kenta dared Hirokazu to go streaking. Takato was obviously drunk if he was going to join in that sort of thing…I mean, it's…really not like him. Kenta, too. I heard them in the other room, Kenta was the one who started it and Takato…was in the background, encouraging it. I don't know why either of them would…Ugh…Well, they were drunk. Alcohol makes guys stupid I guess.
I stopped listening in at that point, I figured Hirokazu wouldn't do it…
…I was wrong…
…VERY wrong…
…We didn't need to see that. Ever. He was supposed to make a quick run through the halls and back without us seeing him (he started in the room with Takato and Kenta, circle around and make it back "unseen")…But he made a wrong turn and…
…I needed to wash my eyes. Ruki thought it was hysterical (and made so many jokes about his, um... …never mind…). Ryou was too drunk to notice, actually, while Jen just covered his eyes and said Hirokazu was insane.I agree, Jen. I agree!
Hirokazu, somehow drank enough afterward to forget most of what happened…
…I should probably do my best to make sure Hirokazu doesn't have any more punch. What he said while Ruki was making fun of him after the incident implied this wasn't the first time he's done that dare…
I wonder who dared him the first time…Or, Gods help us, times...
"Juri! Merry Christmas!" …Takato…
I turn to the door way, I can't hold back my smile. "Merry Christmas!"
Takato stands at the doorframe, he's wearing a blue winter coat, there's still some freshly fallen slow in his hair. He approaches me with…that smile. I really like his smile. Which is good, Takato is always smiling. He has a white box at his side, probably full of Guilmon bread for the party.
…This is it…
I turn to the punch bowl on the table behind me, it's in the center of the table with cookies, little Christmas cakes and all kinds of snacks around it. Ruki's keeping the refreshments in a back room while the rest of the party is up front. She's showing a Christmas movie marathon and, right now, everyone's decorating a tree. It's just Takato and I…
…Exactly how I want it.
I pour two cups of punch. I turn to Takato, still smiling like when he arrived.
I'm going to get my Christmas wish. Finally.
"Takato, have some punch with me," I hold out a red cup of punch as Takato sets out the box, opening it. Just as I thought, full of Guilmon bread.
Takato takes the cup gently and nods once. "Thank you, Juri." He takes the first sip...All I need to do is keep him drinking and wait for it to kick in. I'll drink the same amount, when I feel it…I'll get him on the subject, that's usually how it works when he says something embarrassing. Just a casual mention of something and…Takato's been known to ramble on and on about something random, usually personal, that ends with him realizing what he just said and covering his mouth…
…Don't worry, Takato, telling me how you feel should be anything but embarrassing. Trust me.
"Excited? Tomorrow's Christmas and all…" I ask.
Takato nods. "Y-Yeah, I can't wait. Every Christmas day, my family does these special sweet rolls for breakfast. They're a little different from the ones we sell."
"How so?"
"Just really, really good. It's a special recipe. I-I don't know it actually…My parents said they'll tell me the recipe either when I take over the bakery or when I meet 'that special someone.'" 'That special someone,' Takato? I can't help but smile even more when he says 'that special someone,' he never really talks about things like that…Takato, did we both have similar plans tonight? I really hope so. "The recipe is special because my Dad made them for my Mom when they first met as a gift." So they're 'love rolls?' …Just like my love cake at home.
"Ha ha ha! Which do you think'll come first, then?"
I'm a little disappointed when Takato just shrugs and says "Who knows?"
"I'm sure you'll find out soon," I reply with a smile. Takato nods and takes a few gulps of punch. "Thirsty?"
"Yeah, I ran all the way over here. I felt bad for being so late. The Guilmon bread took a little longer than I thought it would."
I take Takato's cup, saying, "Here." I refill the cup, passing it back to Takato.
"Thanks," Takato smiles. He takes another drink and says, "Good punch. I like the berry flavor."
I nod, refilling my cup, too. "What does your family do at Christmas?"
"Aside from the special breakfast…Exchange gifts. My parents spend the day resting, with the bakery closed for the day, while I…I usually just play with whatever I got for Christmas when I was a kid, now…The same, I'm hoping to get the new Digimon World." He laughs.
"Digimon World?" Even to this day, while I'm…better at the card game and I watch the show, now, I'm still lost when it comes to the Digimon games. I've seen most of Digimon Adventure, except for a few Dark Masters episodes. Hirokazu's DVD was broken, it was the SaberLeomon and MetalEtemon episodes…I missed out on those.
…It was good to see Leomon again, even though it was just in anime form. I-I try not to think about what happened to him but the occasional reminder makes me happy.
"Yeah, the two-player is great! Jen and I plan to play the co-op missions a lot." Takato says, finishing his cup. He sets it aside on the table, I take it.
"Let me," I smile, filling the cup once more. "How do you think Guilmon would like Christmas?"
Takato gives me an odd look, probably for mentioning Guilmon. "He'd just eat his weight in Christmas cake, of course. He's Guilmon." Ha ha ha, yeah, that…That's Guilmon. I heard how much he loved Guilmon bread…The Matsudas still sell it, Takato likes to bring some of it with him to our parties. We all like it a lot.
"Really? Does he like strawberries as much as you do?" I just know he'll love the T-Chan special, he looks forward to having one with his parents every year, he loves strawberries and…Ha ha, I think he sometimes brings us T-Chan specials because he knows he'll end up getting at least half of the strawberries from everyone else's slice. It always happens, Jen usually gives him all of his strawberries.
"Um, I don't know, actually. He loves bread and cakes, but I don't know if he has any specific flavors he likes…" Takato lowers his head in thought, drinking more punch. He suddenly lifts his head up, saying, "Oh, I know Culumon loves custard filled breads!"
"Culumon?" I drink more of my punch. Unlike Takato, I'm gulping it down…I'm getting anxious, I really want him to just say it already…Takato, it's…It's obvious to everyone else, why not you?
I mean, whenever I'm sad, you're there to comfort me. Whenever I have a problem, you try to solve it. You always bring me bread from the bakery, you know all of my favorites. You always know the right thing to say, you're…Takato. Even without all that, just…All you did to save me from D-Reaper…
…Why has this taken so long?
Takato stammers a little, speaking slowly, "Yeah, he…Um…One time he…Uh, what's…the word…I'm looking for…?" I-I wonder if that's the punch… Well, he's…getting there…
…One more cup won't hurt, just…Just to make sure. Takato, I know you hate getting drunk but…We both need this.
I take his cup as he thinks, filling only half. I pass it back to him, he gives a thankful nod but...Then he smells it…
…Oh, no…
"I think…someone spiked the punch-" No! No, Takato! Not yet, it's…No!
I quickly speak, "Takato, it's Christmas Eve…and a party. Let's have a little fun." …Please, Takato.
"F-Fun?" He says, cautiously. "W-Well…Okay…" He sets his cup aside, he takes one of the bottled waters from the table and starts drinking it. Faster than the punch…I think he's trying to get the alcohol out of his system faster or something.
Damn it, I-I need to hurry…This has to work…It has to! Please, I-I just want to be with Takato…For Christmas-Wait…Is that…?
…I-I don't believe it…It has to be a sign…
Takato is standing right under some mistletoe. Th-That has to be a sign…Santa Claus must have put it there! Ha ha ha!
I think I know how to get him on the subject…
…I-I'm going to need this…
I refill my cup one last time and drink it down…All of it. I'm…going to talk about…
…The Digital World. But, I'll be talking to Takato. I-I know this won't be as bad as usual…Because Takato's with me.
"…Remember the Digital World?" I ask, setting my cup down on the refreshment table, a little harder than I had meant to.
Takato gives me a confused look. "Digital World? H-How could I forget? …How could…any of us forget…?" He lowers his head, letting out a quiet sigh. I…I always felt better talking about this with Takato. He, for some reason, he…He gets as sad as I do, sometimes. Hirokazu and Kenta, all they'll talk about is becoming Tamers or how Kenta's partner was mega level…Ruki will rant about how she hated running into Ryou Akiyama of all people while 'babysitting' Hirokazu and Kenta...But, Takato…He'll cry with me sometimes…
...I once asked him why it always made him so sad, he had no reason to cry. …And his reply was what made me know for sure that he felt the same… "Because of what you had to go through, Juri…I'm so sorry all of that happened to you…I wish I could have done more."
Takato, you had already done so much and… …Thank you, Takato. You…You understand why I hate talking about that "adventure" the others love so much…You know how I feel…
I speak as Takato stays quiet. "…You…did a lot for me back then, Takato. I-I know you…wanted a-avenge… …Leomon…" I wipe my eyes, just…thinking about that day…I just can't even think about it, let alone..talk about it. Not…without the 'elixir of courage' I just drank. "…You got…so angry over what happened and… …Then… …You became a knight in shining armor." I…I laugh a little, I-I always like calling Takato that because…It's so true. "Ha ha, literally…You became my knight in shining armor."
Takato looks up to me, he's…tearing up a little. He nods, slowly, he…looks upset. Probably because of what we're talking about. D-Reaper is…nothing we like to talk about, as much as the others like to talk about the Digital World. "…And…Then when we got back…" I-I never talk to the others about what came after the Digital World, only Takato. And rarely. We both cry. Always. "…With D-Reaper and all…" I-I want to say more, but…I-I can't! I hate talking about this, I hate those memories…
I stammer, holding back a quiet sob, finally managing to 'skip ahead,' "…And when everyone's partners went back…Y-You lost Guilmon but… …You want me to be happy, still, even though…Your partners had a chance of coming back."
Takato's wiping his eyes, he's…so close to crying. I'm amazed he hasn't yet… …I-I'm the one confessing, now, I guess but… …He needs to know this, he needs to know how…How I feel…
…This is it…It's finally going to happen…
"And, for years after that, Takato…You were always there for me, for even the tiniest thing…" I trail off, I look to Takato. He looks at me like he's about to say something, but instead he's starting to cry. "…Takato?"
"S-Sorry, Juri…Just…K-Keep going, I was…just thinking about…the past." He says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
"It's…just…Takato, you do so much for me and…I try to do a lot for you in return. And, well, I really care about you. I know you…really care about me." I…I can smile again after saying that. H-He has to know what I'm talking about.
…I hope…He's…quiet, he's just staring at me with wide eyes. Wh-What's wrong…?
I glance to the ground, nervously stammering, "So, Takato, um…I-I…" Please, Takato...Let my Christmas wish come true. Please.
"J-Juri…Uh…You're…Are you…um…s-saying we…should…go out…together…?" ...Yes.
He…He finally acknowledged it! He…He knows how I feel, and…I-I know how he feels. I can't hold back the smile that's spreading across my face… Especially when I look up at that mistletoe hanging above him.
"Yes," I say, stepping forward. I point to the ceiling above Takato. "Takato, did you know you've been standing under some mistletoe this whole time?"
Takato's reaction is…Not what I was expecting. Not even close...
He…He panics! He looks up at the mistletoe with a quiet gasp and…Wh-What are you doing, Takato?
…He runs backwards, away from the mistletoe…
…Away from me…
"J-Juri-I-I…No, I-I…I'm…so, so sorry…I-I just…I-I don't…I…" …Ta-Takato…?
I stare forward, my jaw is limp. Takato stares back at me like he's afraid of me. "Y-You don't...feel the same…? H-How…?" I-I was…so sure. A-And just…the way we've been as friends since… …What's going on?
Takato shakes his head, still stammering. "I-I…No, I'm sorry…I-I don't…"
This doesn't make any sense! I mean, all…All you do…I…don't understand it…You can't be serious! Please, Takato, tell me this is a bad joke…Please!
The way he…just ran from that mistletoe…L-Like it…was a damned snake or something! Wh-What the hell, Takato? …H-He…He has to like someone else. Th-That's it…Someone else…
…Ruki…
…It…It has to be her…Who else could it be?
He…He must…like Ruki instead…
…Damn it...
I frown, letting out a frustrated groan. "Is it Ruki?" Takato stops talking, looking back at me with a blank stare. "Is it Ruki you like? A-Answer me, Takato! It's…It's Ruki, isn't it?"
Takato shakes his head back and forth, quickly. "N-No, it's…No…Ruki…um…I'm…" His eyes suddenly go wide, he suddenly shouts, "N-no! Juri, I…Ruki…Isn't my type." He says, awkwardly. He also sounds really drunk at this point, he's having trouble keeping his balance.
Ruki's not…your 'type?' Wh-What the hell does that mean? Ruki and I aren't your type? I-I don't believe this! A-All…All these years…I-I've been so sure that he loved me…That we'd end up together and…We're not your type?
…You…Takato, you've…You've been leading me on…Haven't you? Wh-Why the hell else would you make me think…?
"I'm sorry, Juri…" Takato bows his head, choking and sobbing. "I'm so, so sorry…I didn't kn-" Bull shit you didn't know, Takato! A-All you do? You think...You think I wouldn't...? HOW?
"Not...your TYPE?" I shout. Takato lifts his head up in surprise, taking another step back. He loses his balance and almost falls. "Who the hell is your type? Ta-Takato…You…I-I can't…" I can barely think straight, I feel like I'm going to cry any second now and never stop! How could you do this, Takato? …I can't believe you…
I finally scream, "Damn it! Who the hell do you like, if Ruki and I aren't 'your type?' ANSWER ME!" I-I've never...I've never screamed at Takato like this before, but…
…Takato, why? Why can't you feel the same way? Was I just some game? I-I just know it! He's been…He's been leading me on!
Takato's crying at this point. "J-Juri…I'm so sorry! Please, calm dow-"
"Not until you answer me! H-How…could you...all these years? Y-You owe me this, Takato! Tell me!" I'm trying my hardest to keep from crying, I don't want to cry in front of him. Not over this.
I-I can't…believe this is how my…my Christmas wish is turning out…All because…I'm not Takato's 'type!'
Takato keeps backing away from me… …Like he did with that fucking mistletoe. "I-I can't-"
"TELL ME!" I scream. Takato falls backwards.
I'm breathing heavily, staring him down…I have to know Takato. You owe me an explanation…Who is it?
Takato stops crying long enough to finally say something… I can barely hear him, but…
…It sounded like he said…
…N-No…
I-I…I had to have heard that wrong… He…He was so quiet… There's no way…!
I stop frowning, my breathing goes back to normal. I look to Takato. "…Wh-What?" You…You didn't really…just say…
Takato looks up at me, he looks terrified. He's trembling. When he finally speaks, it's louder but…Barely above a whisper. And…I-I can't believe what I'm hearing…
"…Jenrya…is…my type…"
…No…
H-He's…He's gay…?
A-And…Ta-Takato, you…
…You love…Jen…
I stare forward at Takato. I…I can't believe he just…said that…
Takato calms down a little. He looks up at me, wiping his eyes before saying, "J-Juri…I-"
I scream. At the top of my lungs, I scream.
He's gay! Y-You're telling me…All these years I…I've been in love with someone who can't love me back? A-And the…The way he acted…all these years…
I-I thought…He loved me, why would he act the way he did? I-I was so sure because of that! Why else would he…?
…Unless… Oh, Gods…
…If… If I'm right…
…Damn you, Takato Matsuda. How…How could you?
I hear footsteps behind me as I quiet down, I keep staring forward at Takato, breathing heavily again. I can't believe this…THIS is how my Christmas Eve confession turned out!
Why, Takato?
I hear Ryou's voice, he's a few steps behind me. "What's wrong?"
I turn to Ryou with a frown, screaming, "TAKATO'S GAY!" And I'm an idiot for ever thinking we could be together!
With that I push past Ryou, trying to hide the fact I'm starting to cry. I just run to the back, away from the others.
"H-HEY! WAIT! JURI!" Ryou goes after me, I run out the back entrance where my coat and shoes are. I just grab them so I can keep my distance from Ryou. I don't want to hear it, Ryou! I-I can't face you, looking like an idiot for being in love with someone who can't love me back… Someone who used me all these years... "JURI! COME BACK!" …He's gay…
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!
I-I can't deal with this. "He's gay! DAMN IT! HE'S GAY! ALL THESE YEARS AND…TAKATO'S…GAY…!" My voice is cracking, I'm crying. I-I can't stop.
I keep running for a long time through the snowfall, it's coming down hard and it's really windy.
I don't know where I am or how long I've been running. I just know I lost Ryou in the alleys behind Ruki's house. I…I couldn't stop screaming about Takato and "his type." …I-I don't want to believe what just happened really happened. That Takato's gay…He told me that Jen is his type!
…And he's spent the last half a decade leading me on…
I finally stop running because I lose my balance and slip in some wet snow. Thankfully, a large pile behind me cushions my fall…
It takes me a moment or two to get my bearings…I-I…I'm feeling all that punch I drank. Things aren't spinning or anything. Not yet, at least...
When I finally get up I slip my shoes on in a dry patch of sidewalk under some eaves and keep walking after putting on my coat. My feet aren't all that cold…I must not have been running as long as I thought. My socks are soaking wet, though, from stepping in that snow.
I don't care where I go, I just…I just want to be as far away from Takato and that party as possible…
I wander through the streets, thinking about what just happened, playing it in my mind over and over again…The moment he said "Jen," the first time I asked… …I did hear him right…
…Takato prefers men…Men are his 'type!'
I…I can't believe this…
…Takato's gay…
…A-And…All these years…
…Was I just there to make you look straight, Takato? So…So that no-one would suspect you? It…It makes sense…Everyone thought we were going to end up together. Ruki always calls us 'the happy couple,' which…says a lot, since she uses the same term for Hirokazu and Kenta. To use it on a man and a woman, I took it to mean she was being a little sincere. Jen, Ryou and Hirokazu all told me they…they saw it, too, but as always they would say something like "Takato's too shy to even think about that without turning red." …No, he's too gay to even think about that.
And…Kenta and I, I-I've told him how much I like Takato and…W-We…We once talked about what the wedding would be like and how Takato would propose to me. We both agreed, he'd bake the ring into some bread and cut me a piece with the ring clearly visible, though the idea of me accidentally swallowing it was joked about a few times. Kenta envisioned Takato on one knee with a CT scan of the ring in my stomach in his hand...We joked about not too long ago, actually.
Kenta's great for things like that, actually. He and I actually talked about things like that a lot...
…Not anymore. I-I don't want to think about a future that…I not only don't want anymore but wasn't even possible to begin with!
I'm crying again just thinking about that. I can't stop, I just wipe my eyes every few steps as I keep walking. The streets are almost empty but I don't care if someone sees me crying…I-I just…I need to let this out. To get over the fact that Takato and I…it'll never happen. I was just there to make him look straight. That's all I was…I just know it…
…Now I know why Takato dodged the subject all the time. And like an idiot, I…I bought it. Takato's been leading me on for years just so no-one would suspect him...
…Jen is his type…Jenrya Li… If it was another girl, I'd still have a chance. I-I wouldn't be happy but…Jen? …He loves Jen? …I can't compete…I have no chance. Ever.
How could you do this to me, Takato?
I shiver as I lean against a street lamp for balance. My coat keeps me a little warm but…My socks are soaked from running in the snow… My feet are so cold they're starting to sting.
I see I'm near the park...I hurry across the street, it's still snowing. I sit at a picnic table under a tree. First, I slip my shoes and socks off, then put just my shoes back on...I hope that helps. I won't be as cold at least…
Even if it doesn't, thinking about what just happened is enough to keep me distracted from the cold.
…Damn you, Takato. I can't believe you would do something like this. To anyone but…Especially to me. This whole time, did you even care about me? Or was I really just there to throw people off? So that no-one would ever think "Takato Matsuda is gay."
…Wait…Th-That time at Ryou's, when he and Kenta dared Hirokazu to…
…You're a bastard and a pervert, Takato. I-I can't believe this…I'm amazed he didn't say Hirokazu was his type…Ugh! I bet if Jen was in the room, you'd have begged him!
I reach into my pocket for my cell phone…I need to talk to someone…Anyone! …Actually, I…I know just who I can talk to…
…Please help me, Kenta…I-I need you. Because Takato doesn't need me for anything but appearances…
…Some "perfect" Christmas confession…
I dial Kenta's cell number, putting the phone to my ear. He answers after three rings. "…Juri? What the hell happened?"
I choke, saying, "Takato…Kenta, he…I told him how I felt and… He didn't…feel the same. At all! A-And Kenta, he…He's been leading me on!" I shout, wiping my eyes. "All these years, Kenta. He…He doesn't care about me! He-"
Kenta speaks up, "J-Juri, Takato isn't like tha-"
"Takato told me I'm not his type!" I shout. "I…I have to tell someone! I'm not his type because...Be-Because… I'm not a guy!"
"…W-Wait…What?"
"Takato's gay, Kenta! He's gay! GAY!"
Kenta takes a moment to reply, "Juri…" He sounds shocked.
"I-I told him I loved him, and and…All these years, Kenta, it would never happen…He's gay…He couldn't feel the sa-"
"Why the hell are you telling me this?" Kenta shouts. What? Why does he sound so upset?
Why am I telling you this? Because…Everyone should know! Takato led me on and…He used me. That's all there is to it, he used me to look straight…
"Why shouldn't I? He's…He's been using me, Kenta! I-I need to tell someone…Anyone! Everyone…He used me-"
Kenta interrupts me again. "You…You BITCH!" Wh-What? Did he…really just call me…? "You have no right to do this! No fucking right! How…How could you do this to Takato?" I do this to TAKATO? He used me! Why the hell would he act 'so in love' if he was gay? I WAS A DAMNED PROP TO HIM! "Don't you DARE tell another person, got it?" Kenta…What's gotten into you? Di-Didn't you hear me?
"Ke-Kenta, why are you…saying that? Why are you," I choke again, "s-so angry? He…Kenta, he led me on for ye-"
"Wh-Why am I so pissed? You…You…You're doing to Takato, for one! I mean, all he's done for you, Juri, and…" All Takato ever did was lie to me!
Before I can speak, Kenta…He screams into his phone, I can't believe how angry he is. I pull the phone from my ear for a moment, I can still hear him screaming even with it at arm's length away.
When Kenta stops screaming, I put the phone back to my ear. "Ke-Kenta…Why-"
"You wanna know why I'm pissed? I'm gay, too!" Wh-What? "So, yeah, if you have a problem with Takato, you have a problem with me! Merry fucking Christmas, Juri! Don't talk to me ever again!" Kenta ends the call, I stare at the display for almost a minute… …It takes me that long to figure out exactly what just happened…
…Kenta, too? …He's gay…?
Th-That…actually makes…sense…
…He was daring Hirokazu alongside Takato, after all. I can't believe I'm so blind…So stupid…
…Don't tell anyone else? Why the hell not? I-I…I had my hopes set on the perfect Christmas Eve…I-I was finally going to have what I wanted…Who I wanted…
…And I get this instead! Damn it!
I-I know who to call next…I know exactly who to call! Th-They should know…They probably do know…
I got this number a few months ago, in case of an emergency. This counts, I think…
…Damn you, Takato…I-I hate you! I hate you so much!
I…I just…said I hate Takato… Less than an hour ago, I loved Takato. But, now?
I hate him. I mean it, for what he did…I hate him so much. He's the worst kind of person! I'll never forgive him!
I hit the "talk" button on my phone with a growl, I wait only two rings.
"Hello?"
"Mrs. Matsuda?"
"Juri? Is everything okay?"
I shake my head frantically, closing my eyes tightly and trying not cry. "No, nothing's okay…Not anymore, not ever again!" I try to hold back, but my voice cracks as I shout, "Nothing's okay at all! Takato…I'm so mad at him! I-I hate him! I hate him so much!"
"Juri, calm down. What…What happened? Is Takato okay?" No! No he's not!
"No! He…He's…I-I wanted him…I thought…We could be together! I-I can't believe this…! He…He…How could he do this to me?" Wh-What should I even say? She should know her son is a bastard…That he used me, he's a pervert… All that and more!
"Juri, you're not making any sense…What's going on? …Are you drunk?"
"Th-There…might have…been something in the punch…" …I drank-…No…
We drank too much…I-I should have known better, one cup would have probably been enough, but… I guess I lost control when I was worried Takato wasn't getting what I was hinting at…
…He probably did, but…I'm just "Stupid Juri" and he's "Clueless, Innocent Takato." Takato doesn't talk about girls because he's sooo shy…No, he doesn't talk about girls because he's in the closet!
Mrs. Matsuda lets out a quiet sigh and speaks calmly, "Tell me what happened. Please, Juri."
I wipe my eyes, taking a deep breath. I try to but I can't stop crying. "Takato…I-I thought he liked me. Before, when he saved…me from D-Reaper and…Everything after that…I-I thought…He loved me." My chest hurts, just from saying that much…I-I feel like I'm reliving what just happened and I want to cry even harder. "We…We've been friends for so long and... …I…I can't believe him!" I scream. "He was leading me on, I know it! He was leading me on! H-How could he? I…I was so sure he…loved me…" I sniff, leaning forward on the picnic table, mostly because…I-I'm starting to feel a little nauseous. After a few seconds, I lean my upper body forward, I finally break down crying into one arm, still holding my cell phone to my ear.
Mrs. Matsuda speaks, softly, "Juri, please, calm down. Did you and Takato have a fight? Please, just tell me what happened. Calmly."
I take a deep another deep breath, exhaling sharply. "…W-We…were…at the party…I-I told him about…before and…I thought he liked me…H-He was even under some fucking mistletoe!" And ran from it. He ran from the mistletoe. From me, too…Do girls disgust you, Takato? Are we gross? Is that it? The idea of being with me makes you sick? "H-He told me…He didn't like me that way! I asked…if he liked Ruki… He said Ruki and I weren't. his type. I-I…I asked him what his 'type' was!" I hate those words, 'my type.' I hate them as much as I hate Takato! "Do you know what he said?" I shout, I stop crying and hold my cell phone tighter. "Do you? Y-You should! Even if he didn't tell you, you sure as hell should know who his type is!"
"No…I don't know. Juri, please, calm down. What-"
"JEN! JEN IS HIS TYPE!" I scream.
There's a brief silence.
"…Juri, is this what Takato said?" Of course it's what he said!
"Y-Yes. He told me…Jenrya…was his type! Takato's…Takato's gay! He made me think he liked me, but-"
I'm interrupted by Mrs. Matsuda, she speaks in a firm, serious tone. "Juri, you have no right telling me this." Wh-What? He…He's your son and…Y-You…You should know that he's gay…Sh-Shouldn't you? He's…He's been hiding it from everyone…
…Takato's been hiding the fact he's gay…
…Gods, what am I doing? …What was I thinking doing this? I-I'm ranting to Takato's Mother drunk about…Takato's secret…
Mrs. Matsuda continues, "You're emotional right now and obviously drunk, but…Juri, this is Takato's business. Not yours. I'm sorry if…you feel he's been 'leading you on' for so long but…Don't call back until you've calmed down and sobered up. I-In fact, how dare you even think to call me like this! I'm upset with you, Juri. Not Takato. Not in the slightest. Good night, Juri." She ends the call…
…I-I…I just…
…What have I done?
...I just outted Takato to his parents… …Why? Why would I do that? …To rant to someone? I-I could have called someone else, someone from school who doesn't know Takato…Why did I…do that?
…To hurt Takato. Not too long ago, I…I loved Takato, I wanted to be with him, I was confessing that love to him…
…And now…
…Gods, what have I done? Kenta told me…not to tell anyone else. And I not only ignored him but… …I-I told his parents.
…Takato…
…The way Kenta screamed at me, it was…because I told Kenta Takato was gay, wasn't it? I-I've been so focused on how much his rejection hurt, but…
…I-I can't believe I did any of this…
Takato…He wasn't leading me on. He saved my life and, the fact he's always been there for me, it's not just me. He's been there for all of us. He's just that…good of a friend…
And he…He is shy. And, being gay…He'd never want anyone to know that about him, he…He wouldn't want to risk…
…This happening...
He hates getting drunk. He's told us that a lot because of how he always lets something personal slip. And…I got him drunk. I got Takato drunk. This is my fault. I-I'm sure, if he was sober, he…His rejection would have been a lot different. …I-It would hurt but…
…I did that to him with the nerve to say I loved him. And then I told his own Mother that, not only do I hate him, but…That he's gay. …She…She at least was mad at me, not Takato… Th-That has to be a good sign for him, right?
…I can never go back to the Matsuda Bakery again.
I lean forward on the bench again, I start crying and I can't stop.
Takato, I'm so sorry…Not that it would mean anything to you, now. I-I told Ruki and Ryou, I-I remember now…Just as I pushed past Ryou, I heard…I heard Takato break down, it was only for a few seconds that I could hear him but…I-I've never heard Takato cry like that.
He's…He's gotten better about crying, he only cries when it's…something he feels really strongly about. Like what I went through in the Digital World and afterward…He cried when I brought it up. He always cries when that subject comes up. He can't fake crying, we know that. Ruki's told us "for someone as good at crying as Takato is, he can't fake it for shit."
He wouldn't have cried if he wasn't sincere about that. Takato really does-No…Really did care about me. He…just couldn't love me like I wanted him to. All he's done for me and I made him cry worse than he's ever cried before. …Because I "love" him. I-I don't deserve to say I love him, not after what I've just done.
I-I…I need to know if he's okay…
I can't call Kenta, Kenta…He was right. I am a bitch. I-I did all of this to Takato…Someone I "love." …And, him being gay, too, makes…this even worse in his eyes. …I'm sorry, Kenta. I'm so sorry.
I reach for my cell phone again, I dial another number. It rings, going to voicemail.
"This is Jenrya Li, I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message."
…I hang up and dial again. He might be avoiding my calls. I-I wouldn't blame him. Jen…Please, you're Takato's best friend and…he loves you. I-I won't tell you that part, I just…I need to know if Takato's okay. And…warn him about what I just did.
He's going to hate me, now. Takato Matsuda hates me…And I don't blame him.
Please, Jen…Answer your phone.
"This is Jenrya Li, I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message."
I wait for the beep.
"…Jen. I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Is Takato okay? I-I know he hates me, I don't blame him. I know 'sorry' isn't going to fix anything but…Please, Jen, let me know he's okay. I…I'm so sorry." I hang up, standing and walking through the park…I-I just feel so numb right now, not just from the cold but…
…From all I've done. I finally stop at a set of stairs and sit down, I cry again into my arms, waiting and hoping for Jen or anyone to call…To let me know Takato's okay, that…That I'm the only one who…
…Gods, what have I done?
I sit and cry for a long time. I just keep running the scene through my head, both that "confession" and my call to Mrs. Matsuda. I don't know what came over me but whatever it is…I never want to let it out again.
I look at my phone display…It's been a long time since I called Jen. He…He doesn't want to speak to me. …I have no choice, there's one person I know would take my call, no matter how angry…
I calm down, taking a deep breath and wiping my eyes before I dial one last number.
One ring is all it takes, just as I expected. "You'd better have a damned good explanation for what you did. And if I find you, Juri…" …I know, Ruki.
"H-How…upset is Takato? S-Since I left…?" …Please, Ruki, scream at me later. I-I need to know if he's okay. If, at least, I'm the only one who…reacted that way.
"Someone took him to their place. I won't say who. Why do you care?"
"…I want…to apologize…"
"Apologize? Juri, you are so, so far beyond the point where an apology is going to mean shit to Takato! Hell, I doubt an apology is going to mean shit to any of us! You outted him to all of his friends!" I know…I-I won't be seeing any of you again after tonight…
…All these years, we've been friends. Aside from Takato, I became really close to Ruki and Kenta...And, as annoying as he can sometimes be, I liked hanging out with Hirokazu. Jen was sort of distant and Ryou was always doing his "own thing," even if that "thing" involved…alcohol and pain killers (now just alcohol), but…When I was with them, I…I was happy. I was with people I loved…
…And in one night, I'm going to lose all of them. All because I had to get Takato drunk. All because I made him tell me he was gay. All because…I couldn't handle that.
…There's nothing I can do to make this up to them. I should give Ruki a warning about my other phone call. "A-And…Um…"
"…Go on. Now." Gods…I-I know that tone. Ruki never uses it unless she's very serious. Usually on someone she's about to hit…
"…I called…his Mother…" I choke on the last word. I-I can't believe I did that of all things to do to Takato.
"You're not going to live to see Christmas day, now. You know that right?" W-Wait, I hear…I hear her voice…
I look up, Ruki turns a corner. She stops for barely a moment, putting her phone away and walking towards me with…Gods, she's scary when she's angry.
"R-Ruki…" I hang up my phone as she walks over to me. I…I-I can't say anything, there's nothing I can say… All I can do is try to stutter out something while crying…
…Ruki, please,just…tell Takato I'm sorry…
After Ruki found me and…"knocked some sense into me," she, Ryou and I went to Jen's apartment.
I couldn't believe Takato was willing to look at me. He let me come in with the others. Kenta hugged him as soon as he was in. Kenta felt really strongly about how Takato was outted, it's why he was so angry with me when I told him. I was a little happy to see that Takato wasn't crying anymore, he looked…mostly normal.
When we sat down to talk about what happened, he…He figured out what I did and why I did it. He asked me to tell him if he was wrong on any of it, but…No, he…He figured it all out. Everyone blamed Ryou for the spiked punch until Takato told them it was me. But, what I can't believe is…
…Right before Takato started, he got up to get tissues for himself…And me. I-I know it's not much but...The fact he got me tissues, it's…what he always does. Even the tiniest thing, he…He picks up on things like that. He notices it if you need something and he'll offer to get it. It was obvious I needed tissues but the fact Takato got them for me…
…It somehow made me feel better, even though I was expecting Takato to tell me he never wanted to see me again. …Until I heard what he whispered in my ear as he gave them to me.
"I forgive you."
…Takato…
I cried my hardest after that. He forgave me. I-I hate myself so much and Takato forgave me. I-I don't deserve it. I-I don't deserve anything from Takato, not anymore…But, Takato still cares about me.
Takato wanted everyone to forgive me. He even started by apologizing to me for making me feel like I was being led on. Everyone…Everyone thought he was insane, but…He had a good reason, he said.
When he gave us that reason...Everyone was happy.
He and Jen are together now. They told us by showing us that they had been holding hands under the table the whole time we were talking. Jen's bi, he kept his feelings for Takato hidden. He said they "took over" when he saw how upset Takato was…
…Takato told Jen about my "confession" and Jen figured out the name he gave me…
My confession is what brought Jen and Takato together.
…I-I wanted Takato. I still do but...This is how it should be. After what I did, this is how it should be. I'm…glad Takato is with who he loves. I don't deserve him anymore. Just for getting him drunk like that without the…"Kill Takato Rampage" as Ruki calls it. Jen even mentioned to the others that one of the reasons he never wanted to tell Takato was because he was so certain Takato and I would be together…
…Jen, you're so lucky.
Kenta was the next to forgive me. He let me cry on his shoulder for most of the night, he let me tell him what happened without yelling at me. He apologized for what he said, I told him he didn't have to. Whatever came over me that night, I told Kenta I never want that to happen again.
We actually fell asleep at Jen's. Everyone did. Ruki and Ryou took one couch, Hirokazu and Kenta took another, I fell asleep leaning forward on the dining room table. Someone put a blanket on me while I was asleep.
I look around the dark apartment, there's a little bit of light from a bulb over Jen's oven in the kitchen. I see Ruki and Ryou on their couch, Ruki is on one arm, Ryou's on the opposite side. Hirokazu is sprawled out, half-on and half-off the couch with his shirt riding up his chest. Kenta is leaning against an arm. I at first thought he was sleeping until I see him yawn.
"Kenta?" I whisper.
Kenta looks to me, getting up and walking to me. "Merry Christmas, Juri-chan." He whispers.
"Where are Jen and Takato?"
"Jen's room," Kenta says, adding, "Innocently."
I nod. "…I can't believe last night."
"No offense but…Neither can I," Kenta shakes his head. "Takato is…the nicest guy on Earth but…I think a lot of it is that he ended up with Jen because of it."
I nod. "…There's…something I want to do. Can you go with me to my place?"
"What is it?"
"That T-Chan special I bought…I want to write Jen and Takato's names on it and bring it over. It's…something Takato would like."
"A cake buried under a pile of strawberries…Yeah, that sounds good," Kenta nods. "What time is it?"
I check my cell phone. "About five."
"Late enough, let's go," Kenta gives me a smile.
I set my blanket on the chair next to me. "…Who put this here?" I ask as I get up.
"Takato," Kenta says. "When you fell asleep, he said you looked cold and asked us not to wake you."
I lower my head, letting out a short, quiet sigh. "…I never deserved him." I say as I open the door to the hall. Kenta steps out behind me, we close it quietly and start down the hall.
"Juri…Don't." Kenta shakes his head. "Yeah, last night you…went insane but…You're not a bad person, you just…You can't handle alcohol and rejection at the same time."
"Kenta, he…He apologized to me," I say. I-I still can't believe that. None of us can…Takato, after all I did, still felt bad because I thought he was leading me on…
…Takato, the fact I even thought you would do anything like that… …I'm so sorry.
"Yeah, that's Takato for you…" Kenta shrugs. "It worked out for him in the end, I think he 'blames' you for him and Jen being together." Yeah, if it wasn't for that…I know Takato wouldn't be speaking to me.
"I can tell how happy he is with him…I'm glad."
"…Sorry," Kenta shakes his head, following me. "I know how much you wanted to be with him. If he was straight, I know he would have…" He sighs. "…Yeah, sorry…"
"I know, Kenta…And…I don't deserve any 'sorry' for what I did. …I forced him to tell me who his 'type' was."
"Yeah, it's…Takato kept it a secret for a reason. I did, too. It's…Well…"
"…Reactions like mine."
"...Sorta," Kenta shrugs.
We walk out of the building. "How long have you…?" I trail off.
"Years," Kenta shrugs. "I sort of wanted to tell you guys but I was afraid of someone freaking out. I hinted at it a couple times…Remember when I rented those gay comedies by 'accident?'" I nod. Kenta chuckles, saying, "That may not have been so accidental."
"They were really funny," I say. "We…should watch them again sometime soon."
"Sounds good. Get some popcorn, talk about how cute the male leads are…" Kenta grins. "Especially that one scene."
I turn to Kenta, eyes wide…That scene from one of the movies with one of that really hot side characters being trapped outside his house in his underwear, trying to get back in and having to run through his neighborhood to get his spare key. "…Kenta…"
Kenta hesitates, he looks a little worried. "Y-Yeah?"
"…We have to rent that movie. Now."
Kenta laughs, "I'll get my copy from home. Meet you at the restaurant?"
"Deal," I smile, we approach the end of the street.
"See you in, like, fifteen minutes," Kenta says, turning one way. "Don't ice the cake without me! Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas!" I wave, Kenta waves back…
…I'm so glad Kenta's still speaking to me. And that he let me cry on his shoulder last night…I needed him.
It sort of is a Christmas miracle, the fact that I still have a single friend among the others, let alone all of them…Ruki is still angry but, for Takato, she's going to try to forgive me.
Thank you, Takato…I'm so sorry for last night, I don't know what came over me but…I swear, it will never be let out again. Ever.
I'm glad you're with Jen, too. I really am…I saw how happy you were when you held up his hand. You don't smile like that very often.
Thank you, Takato, for your forgiveness, even if I don't deserve it. I promise, I'll try to make this up to you somehow.
But for now, at least you're with Jen. I'll be happy for you both.
Merry Christmas, Takato.
~Owari~
Ori's Notes:
Originally, I wanted to a sequel\prequel to Midnight Buzzed called "Aspirin" that covered Ryou's "habits" that were hinted at in the previous fic and have Taiki post it separately since I didn't want to add to a year old fic…
…But since Christmas fics were kinda slim this year, after I sent Taiki the "Dads" chapter of Mirai No Kodomo I looked over what I had finished of "Aspirin" and decided to let Taiki post some of what I finished as bonus chapters to Midnight Buzzed. If I finish them, I'll also have him post the Ryou chapters as well, I especially wanted to cover the "Ruki beats the shit out of Ryou" scene that he describes in his POV chapter.
Anyway, this is the first of two bonus chapters: I thought I should cover Juri's feelings from the confession to her being forgiven by the others, plus add a few things like what her voicemail to Jen was and things like that.
Anyway, Merry Christmas and a Grand Feast of Red Cliff to you all! Remember, should a tortoise come to your door on the eve of the feast, don't turn it away!
Taiki's Notes:
Ori, exactly how often do turtles come to your door on holidays? Actually, I'm a little bit afraid of what his answer to that might be. One of these days, I must ask him what the "Feast of Red Cliff" is. He claims it's a "Taoist Holiday," which may be true in the sense that Ori practices the world's strangest form of Taoism.
I was surprised to see this chapter turn up in my mailbox this morning, especially after reading his notes in the last chapter of Mirai No Kodomo we posted but Ori told me he decided it was "okay" to post them since he feels really bad about not having much Christmas content this year. Cheer up, Ori, it's Christmas Eve! Let Takato (the co-writing tortoise) play in the snow or something, I bet he'd love it! Or invite him to the Feast of Red Cliff. I assume Ori will have plate set for him, he claims to have had one for Thanksgiving!
I'm glad we got to take a look into Juri's mind during the events of They Called Upon A Midnight Buzzed. Her POV was absent from the original story. I admit, I feel a bit sorry for her as she obviously did not see Takato's rejection coming at all but it still doesn't excuse calling Takato's Mother! But I'll refrain from my usual "Ori is so evil to Takato" rant as things did work out for him in the end. And I've already covered "the list" in a Mirai No Kodomo bonus chapter's notes, ha ha ha!
On a final note: Check out Ori's DeviantArt account (the homepage link in our profile) for a special Christmas message from him and his official co-writing tortoise! And, yes, Ori claims Takato really wrote that "Christmas message." Again, Ori is out of his bleedin' mind but can we expect anything different? Especially around the holidays?
Happy Christmas, everyone!
-Taiki Matsuki