Chapter 10 Pain Love and Misery

I shook myself, imagining shaking of the guilt and confusion that I would have to keep slicing into the Hollow that was also similar to myself.

I tried ignoring the fact that I had seen human in him only a couple of hours ago as we sat in the rain together. Now he was completely the enemy.

We charged at each other again swords drawn and feelings left behind. The sounds the swords made as they clashed rang out all around us. I knew Zangetsu was still watching I could feel his presence but he hadn't said anything more.

He went for my chest laughing and shrieking as his eyes opened wide with happiness that he was going for the kill.

How ever I had seen his movement's and moved out of the blades way before it had its chance to cut me. I brought the blade across the top of his arm and felt the pressure as it hit his skin. It sliced him, but instead of him pushing back out of the way, or using his zanpaktu to counteract, he reached up and grabbed my blade with his bare hands. Annoyance in his face that I had cut him again. I didn't see this happening. I had forgotten that he was rash in his moves and could easily grab a blade with out caring for his own safety.

Before he managed to get a good grip on it I moved back and out of his reach once again. I couldn't risk him taking the blade from me. Not when I was so close to finding out the truth.

He clicked his tongue In anger and didn't give me time to take a breath. He was advancing on me again the wild look his inhuman eyes stronger then before.

I blocked his rash attacks but the sword wasn't doing much good. Every time his blade hit it, it sparked and specks were starting to fall from the blade. It wouldn't last much longer. Not with all the blocking I was doing. I had to do something.

"Ive waited a long time for this-ssss, I didn't expect it to be this easy!" He hissed at me, his mouth pulling up into a huge grin.

His sword hit mine but I held firm and he leaned over from between them.

"So...are You ready to die?" He pulled away laughing and I just about dodged in time, but he was attacking again. His attacks were harsh and wild. My blade couldn't last much longer. Bigger flakes of metal were falling from it. As I watched each piece fall, it reminded me of my confidence. It too was slowly fading away into nothing.

My arms were starting to ache from holding up the Zanpaktu, and I could feel the warmth of my spiritual pressure slowly falling from my body. I need to do this. I have to.

Even though all my hopes were almost completely gone, I furrowed my eye brows and held the blade even tighter.

He advanced on me once again. But this time I didn't try to block. He probably thought it wasn't deliberate, that I had gotten his moves wrong. His eyes flashed hungrily, and he opened his mouth wide in a beaming smile. His blade, originally my Zanpaktu, drove deep into my chest.

It didn't hurt as much as I expected it to. Maybe that was because I was already dying?

His blade went even deeper until it bust out of the other side of my body. I heard the blood slosh onto the floor. The sound was revolting. It should of scared me even more. But it didn't. I was strangely use to that sound. He kept on pushing it in, until the handle was up to my skin. His eyes glinting with proudness that he had won.

What he didn't know was that I had no intention of letting him win. He was unprotected. His weapon was halfway through my body. He wouldn't even be able to pull it out quick enough. I held up my blade and in a quick motion it was pointing to were his heart should of been and was breaking the skin. Running him through.

I saw the realization in his eyes as soon as he felt the blade on his skin. He hadn't won. He had lost. He hadn't expected me to sacrifice my self to defeat him.

His grin slowly faded. I let go of the handle, the blade along with him fell to the floor.

I felt a short feeling of guilt, but just before his head hit the floor, he gave one last fleeting laugh.

I don't know how I was managed to still stand. But my legs felt stronger even as they wobbled. I took the handle of the blade that was still through my body and yanked it out. The pain was unbelievable, but soon it was gone and taken over with a numbness that some how seemed much worse. It meant I was about to die.

I fell to my knees, my vision starting to go bleary. My ears ringing with a screaming silence. I watched as the buildings around me were crumbling, Turning to dust. Fading away into nothing.

Zangetsu walked up into my sight. His face held a proudness but also a sickening sadness. He nodded at me.

"You did well..."

"But I didn't win, not really..." I was surprised by how horce and shaky my voice sounded. I had never sounded so quiet, and that actually made me laugh slightly. But I guess it sounded more like a cough on the outside.

"No...you Won...you have remembered..."

I blinked several times trying to see if any more images flooded into my head but none did. I guess he was wrong.

"Farewell Ichigo..I'm glad we met, just one more time..."

He suddenly started to fade away. Or maybe it was my vision finally turning black. It was like curtains finally closing on a show that had gone on for far to long.

It was kind of peaceful. I couldn't feel my body any more. I couldn't feel the pain.

"Kurosaki-kun!"

Its her voice again. I like her voice. I took in a deep breath remembering how her voice reminded me of velvet texture, soft and caring.

"KUROSAKI-KUN!"

My arms twitched. Well at least I think they did. All I could feel and see was darkness. Her voice was urgent almost pleading with me to answer.

"KUROSAKI-KUN"

Urrrggg fine woman! I'll wake up.

I opened my eyes, to find myself staring at another blue sky. This sky was different though. It looked normal. The clouds weren't falling downwards,and it wasn't just one blue shade, but loads of others. Dark blues, even some light greens. And clouds! Clouds with different shapes. I've never liked the look of clouds like these so much in all my life.

"Thank god, your alive!" someone squealed next to me. I felt stiff but turned my head anyway.

Orihime was leaning on her knees staring at me, her eyes filled with unshed tears. As soon as I looked at her they leaked over and fell down her cheeks. I reached up and wiped one away, but it was soon replaced by another.

"Why are you crying?" My voice sounded like I hadn't drank anything in days and was barely a whisper and at the sound of it she cried even more. But she was smiling. Which really confused me.

"I thought you were...I Thought you would never wake up.." Her lip trembled and I wanted nothing more but to make her happy and to never let her face look so sad ever again.

"What happened..."

She looked at me then and blinked away the remaining tears. "The wars over, you defeated him. You defeated Azien!"

"Azien..." Suddenly everything that had been missing while being in that upside down world came rushing back to me. So quick infact I felt winded. I had beaten him. The being that had almost destroyed everything in my life that I had cared about. But now he was gone, locked away in a seal that could never be opened.

I sat up slightly, and she hugged me holding onto me hard. It hurt a little but I never wanted her to let go. But she pulled away all to soon and stared at me her hands hovering over my face like she wanted to stroke me, to make sure I was really okay.

"what happened, you've been...well Gone for hours. Everyone else thought you were...you Were dead, but I didn't believe them."

Another tear leaked from her eye, and I stopped its decent with my finger. She looked at me lovingly.

"I was in my soul, for a while...I Couldn't remember anything, I had to fight to get back..." I suddenly remembered something I should never had forgotten.

"I used final getsuga tenshou didn't I?" My voice was hardly even a whisper. She nodded tears streaming down her face.

"Mr. Urahara-San told us all that you had used the finally getsuga tenshou , but with a price that you wouldn't have your shinigami powers any longer..." She looked down to her hands on her lap like she was ashamed of what she had said.

"I'm so, so sorry Ichigo."

Shed used my first name. She never did that. Maybe it was a way of comforting me. I couldn't breath. I couldn't even feel. I'm no longer a Shinigami. I no longer can protect those I love.

Orihime looked over her shoulder and Urahara walked over followed closely by every body who was important to me. Including all the shinigami I had learnt to love. Rukia was in the front her eyes shinning but she did not shed one tear. She looked at me happily but also she seemed to be breaking up inside.

"I can still see them?" I asked Urahara. He nodded.

"not for long though, your spirit energy has already mostly gone, It wont last much seems you entered your inner world once you had lost most of your powers, if you hadn't of come back, you wouldn't be alive.." He stepped back and held out a hand. I grabbed it and pulled myself up with Orihime also helping me for balance.

I looked up to all the shinigami who were staring at me with sad and shocked expressions on there faces. As my eyes fell onto each one, they nodded, some even bowed slightly out of respect and they started walking away. Apart from Rukia and Renji who stayed.

Rukia was still staring trying to put on a brave face but Renji wouldn't even look at me.

"Thank you Ichigo..You've done so much...i" She trailed off not knowing what else she could say. Her voice cracked on the last words, her voice which had always been so strong sounding to me. Even in the worst of times.

"No..If it wasn't for you, I never would of been able to help at all" My voice was surprisingly strong now. I was grateful it didn't show how I really felt inside.

Renji looked to me then, and he nodded with out saying anything. But that one slight nod meant more to me,then him saying his goodbyes.

He turned away slightly, but waited for Rukia.

She took a step towards me, and held out her hand. I reached for hers but just as I did a strange pain was filling my chest. I couldn't breath but I still reached for her. She looked upset but she still left me with one last smile as she started to disappear. I would never see her again. I would never see a spirit again. I would never venture into soul society. I would never be able to protect the souls that were so important to me. I had to become and stay human again.

I was once a hero, to some. But now, I'm just a Fading Hero.

Ichigo couldn't see the white figure hiding in the trees just a phew feet away. His human friends were so busy trying to comfort him, that they also failed to see him. His face pulled up into an unexpected grin.

End

This short story is dedicated to

Aaron Duffy

and

Ruth Tickle

Two people who mean the world to me, and two people who are pure friends.

Thank you to everyone for reading, and reaching the end along with me. I'll be very very greatfull for any reviews. Thank you.

Also The story doesnt really stop here. I have a 2nd planned, from the point of view of ichigos Hollow. I'm planning on calling the title "I HAVE NO NAME" So please add me to alerts if you wish to read on :) . 'What happens when a hollow falls in love?' It wont be sloppy I promise! Byeeee! And Keep on Reading!