"Coin has never seen me before," Cinna explained to Katniss and Peeta. "Well, at least when I'm not dressed as Cinnamon. I'll distract her, after Happy Hour, while you two sneak into her room and look for the supplies. "
"Cinna, you're not going to sleep with her, are you?" Katniss asked, horrified.
"I really don't want to," he confessed. "But if that's what it takes…"
Katniss and Cinna bowed their heads down in a silent prayer.
"Katniss, there's something I have to tell you," Beetee whispered to her during Happy Hour.
"What, Beetee? Did Johanna take off her drunk goggles?" she replied sarcastically.
"Well, yes," he admitted sadly. "And she's decided to be with Gale instead."
"WHAT?" she yelled.
"But we have a bigger problem. I discovered something. You see…"
"Beetee, I need your help. Come with me. NOW!" Coin demanded, walking in. His face turned white with terror but he obediently followed her.
"I want to recite a poem!" Haymitch announced drunkenly. He sang to the tune of "I Got You Babe"
They say I have a drinking problem and I don't care if that's all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you
Booze.
I got you booze.
Then he collapsed on the floor and started mumbling about wondering if there were such things as naked pictures of booze bottles in pornography magazines.
When everyone was asleep, and Cinna was distracting Coin, they proceeded to Coin's room. There was a note on the door that said "Trespass in Here and You'll See President Snow Naked", but the door was unlocked. Katniss and Peeta looked at each other.
"I don't think I can go in," Peeta confessed fearfully. Katniss groaned.
"Peeta, she hates Snow. Why would she keep naked pictures of him? That's just to scare everyone away."
"Didn't you say she was married to him once? Maybe she never got over him."
"Fine. I'll go in first and make sure the coast is clear." She opened the door slowly and peered in. No signs of any pictures of Snow.
"It's alright, Peeta. I was right. It was just a sign to keep people from coming into her room." They walked into the room. There was a bed and a small refrigerator. They looked into the refrigerator and were shocked to see only one bottle of beer.
"Weird," Katniss mumbled. "Well, let's dump it anyway." She went into Coin's bathroom and dumped it down the drain. "Come on. Let's go to the kitchen." There were only two bottles left in the refrigerator. They quickly dumped them down the drain. They spent most of the night thoroughly searching the entire place and found nothing else.
"Well, Boggs was right about running low on supplies," Katniss admitted, shaking her head in astonishment. "You'd think they would have rationed the supplies more carefully instead of spending most of their waking hours drinking during Happy Hours."
"This was too easy," Peeta admitted. They both went back to Katniss's room to get a little sleep, although it was already 6 am.
An hour later, Katniss and Peeta woke up to everyone screaming and panicking.
"Do you think Snow may have bombed 13?" Peeta asked her. Suddenly the door flew open and Haymitch barged in. He was stark naked.
"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" Peeta started screaming. Katniss put her arms around him, telling him it was all a bad dream. Maybe it really is, she thought hopefully.
"It's terrible!" Haymitch moaned, sobbing. "WE'RE ALL OUT OF BOOZE! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" He then flung himself on the bed, right between Katniss and Peeta. Katniss gave him a disgusted look.
"Keep your eyes closed," Katniss muttered to Peeta.
"Don't you still have Emily?" Peeta asked him, squeezing his eyes shut.
"SHE'S GONE TOO! I DRANK HER LAST NIGHT!" he sobbed as he flung his arms around Peeta.
"Stop it! Get out of this bed, Haymitch!" Katniss cried and tried to push him off the bed.
"Let me stay with you guys, please!" Haymitch begged. "I'm afraid I might kill myself."
"Okay, but you have to sleep on the couch." Peeta said. Katniss glared at him.
"No deal. There's room for all of us in this bed." Haymitch said.
"Katniss is practically falling off the bed." Peeta told him.
"Katniss can sleep on the crapper! "Haymitch shouted.
"It's my room!" Katniss yelled back.
Suddenly, Plutarch and Boggs barged into the room. They were naked as well.
"Come quickly, there's an emergency meeting in the Command Room." Plutarch demanded.
"Why isn't anyone wearing clothes?" Katniss yelled.
"We're completely out of booze," Boggs replied sadly.
"That doesn't explain why you're naked," Katniss demanded.
"Doesn't it?" Plutarch asked. "Come on!" Katniss and Peeta got out of bed. Katniss pulled out some duct tape and put it around Peeta's eyes.
"I'm sorry, Peeta. It's for your own good right now." She whispered. Haymitch was still naked in the bed, sobbing and kissing one of the pillows. "Oh, Emily, my lovely booze. I miss you so much!"
"We're going to have to burn those sheets and pillowcases later." Katniss muttered. "And maybe the mattress, too."
"It's finally happened," Coin announced, as they took their seats in the Command Room. But she had the look on her face of someone who finally got laid after a 7 –year dry spell. "We're completely out of booze."
Oh Cinna, Katniss thought sadly. I'm so sorry.
"Here's the plan." Boggs said his arm around Plutarch. "We take the Hovercraft to the Capitol. We walk to Snow's mansion. We knock on the door. When he answers, Haymitch shoots him with Katniss's bow and arrow." He grinned, obviously pleased with himself.
Katniss, Finnick, Peeta, and Annie stared at him in disbelief.
"After we kill Snow," Boggs continued, "I think we should stop at that place that makes those delicious burgers. "
"Brilliant." Plutarch said to him.
"It all seems way too... simple." Finnick admitted.
"We could always get milkshakes too," Boggs reassured Finnick.
"And fries. Don't forget fries!" Plutarch cried.
"What could possibly go wrong?" Boggs exclaimed happily. "It'll be the best night ever!"
"I think there are some tiny flaws in this plan," Peeta remarked, still with the duct tape over his eyes.
"You're okay with this?" Katniss cried, turning to Coin.
"AND THEN I'LL STAB HIM IN THE FACE WITH MY KNIFE! I'LL CUT HIS EYES OUT! THAT'LL TEACH HIM TO MESS WITH MY ALCOHOL!" Haymitch screamed, barging in, and started throwing chairs
"Get him out of here before he hurts someone!" Coin demanded. Two guards escorted Haymitch out of the room, as he continued to scream "'THEY WILL NOT TAKE OUR ALCOHOL!"
"Maybe we should bring a gun," Plutarch volunteered.
"I almost forgot." Boggs added. He leaned down and pulled something from underneath the table. "We have this!" It was a wiffle bat.
"You, my friend, are a genius!" Plutarch exclaimed and then kissed Boggs passionately.
"There's something else!" Plutarch said when he finally broke free from Boggs. "It's the costume Haymitch will be wearing when we go." He pulled it out from under the table.
They stared at it. It was a robot costume.
"Why will he be dressed as a robot?" Finnick asked.
"Not just any robot," Plutarch replied proudly. "Bender. The face of rebellion."
"Who the hell is Bender?" Katniss snapped.
"He's that drunken robot from that old show Futurama that was on back in the early 2000s" Boggs replied. "He's the perfect role model for us all."
"Futurama? Old show? What the hell are you talking about? How would you even get access to that anyway? That was over a hundred years ago!" Katniss yelled.
"Beetee was able to invent a time machine that let us go back in time to get us these DVDs of old television shows," Coin replied.
"So you had access to a time machine, yet the only thing you did was go back in time to get things called DVDS from old television shows?" Katniss asked with exasperation. "Why don't we use it to…"
"We can't." Coin said sternly. "Beetee died this morning. And the time machine was destroyed before he died."
"Beetee's dead?" Finnick, Peeta, Katniss and Annie cried in unison.
"I'm afraid he didn't want to live without Johanna," Coin said sadly, but Katniss could tell by the look in her eyes that she was lying.
Beetee wanted to tell me something yesterday, Katniss remembered. And then Coin dragged him away. I didn't see him again. Something's not right about this. But then again, this whole story is ridiculous so why should I be surprised?
"This meeting is adjourned for now," Coin said abruptly. "You're all dismissed."
"Was Cinna at the meeting?" Peeta whispered to Katniss as she held his hand and guided him out of the room.
"No. He never came back, either." Katniss replied, frowning. "I'm really worried."