Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran, no matter how much I wish it to be true. * Sigh *
J is for Journal
"What is that?"
"A book?"
"Huh? What are you guys looking at?" Haruhi asked.
"We think someone left it here by mistake." Tamaki said, holding up the leather bound book.
"What?" Haruhi asked. "Whose book is it?"
"We don't know. We don't even see a title on the cover, so we don't know what it's about." Tamaki told her.
She sighed. "Have you tried opening the book to see if someone put their name in it?"
Tamaki and Hikaru looked at her, then at the book. Kaoru snatched it away from Tamaki and opened it. "It says here, that it's Mori's." Kaoru told them.
"Well then. Now the next time that Mori and Honey-Senpai come to the club to visit, you can return it. Now I'm going home." Haruhi said, lifting her bag to her shoulder.
"What? Why not stay for a while longer. We can read the book." Hikaru told her, waving the book in her face.
"Why? It doesn't even have a title. It's probably notes or something from his collage." Haruhi said, "He's not studying anything I'm interested in, so what would be the point?"
"But Mori hardly ever speaks, this would be a great opportunity to get a look at the inner workings of his mind." Kaoru told her.
"…" Haruhi stared at her friend.
"What?" Kaoru asked.
"I've never heard you speak so eloquently before, Kaoru." Haruhi said bluntly. "It's a little strange."
"I'll have you know that I can be very elu…elo…I can speak just fine!" He said blushing.
"Whatever you say." Haruhi said.
"He does have a point." She heard Kyoya say.
"Kyoya-Senpai, I didn't know you were still here." Haruhi said.
"Yes, well. However poorly Kaoru phrased his words, he does have a point. Mori-Senpai does not speak very often, and as such, we do not know what he is thinking. I think this is a good chance to find out." Kyoya told her, pushing up his glasses, causing the light to reflect off of them. "Now take a seat, Haruhi, or I'll add the broken tea set to your debt. The tea set in question was a valuable one too, so…it's your choice."
Haruhi glared at him. "I wasn't even in the room when Tamaki-Senpai broke that set! How can you put it on my debt!"
"Tamaki and the twins were fighting over who would eventually hand you the tea set, so it is entirely your fault." Kyoya falsely reasoned.
"Argh!" Haruhi growled angrily as she took a seat.
"Who found the book?" Kyoya asked.
"I did." Tamaki said.
"Then you can begin to read aloud what ever is in that book." Kyoya said.
"Yay! I get to read first." Tamaki said happily.
He opened the book, and thumbed through the pages until he came upon some words. His violet eyes widened in shock. "It says, Journal…"
Haruhi snapped her gaze onto the book. She was more than a little curious, but her honor as in the forefront of her mind. "If that book is Mori-Senpai's journal, then we definitely have no business reading it!" she told them.
"But…it is dated from last year…" Tamaki said, "He could have written about…"
"I don't care," Haruhi said, her face red. "It's wrong. Morally wrong to read someone's journal without permission!" I know that if anyone read my diary I would want to die…and Mori-Senpai's no exception. What's in that journal has to be private, or else he wouldn't call it his journal!
"But don't you want to know what he said about us…even you?" Tamaki asked. "Because I for one would like to know."
"Yeah, us too." Hikaru said, vouching for Kaoru as well.
"It will be interesting." Kyoya said as he waved for Tamaki to begin.
"Day one." Tamaki began.
"I don't want to listen to his private thoughts!" Haruhi protested once more.
"There was an accident in host club today. The new honor student broke the vase that the club was going to sell at an auction. I've checked, but the damage is irreparable. Fujioka, that's the honor student, was told he had to do chores for the club to pay off the huge debt that Kyoya gave him. He starts tomorrow.
Mitsukuni said that there's something strange about the honor student. I'm not so sure, but Mitsukuni's gut feelings are usually right. I'll keep an eye on him tomorrow." Tamaki read.
"Who's next to read?" he asked.
"I will." Kaoru said taking the journal.
"Day two. We were a bit late coming to club today. I had a kendo match and then I had to wake Mitsukuni. Not an easy task, but I think I made it out with only a few scratches.
The girls were as loud as ever today, and I had to take another migraine pill. It's beginning to be a problem. About a third of the way through the club, Mitsukuni told me that he'd figured out what was off about Fujioka. He said to watch him, and I would figure it out.
I watched him through most of the club time, but I couldn't find anything off about him. I'll keep watching tomorrow, and hopefully, I will figure it out. I know that both Mitsukuni and Kyoya know, as I've seen them talking." Kaoru finished. "Who is next? Hikaru?"
"Sure." Hikaru took the book from his brother. He cleared his voice dramatically, "Day three. Fujioka is a woman. Not a man, like I'd first thought, though thinking about it now, it's rather obvious. I wish I'd found out a different way.
Tamaki had called her over to him, to introduce her to one of his best customers. I don't know what possessed him to do so, but he reached out and grabbed her, pulled her against him and promptly began spinning her around. I was a bit shocked to say the least, I'd seen Tamaki freak out but never like that. At first I thought it was because he liked him.
Fujioka was still being strangled by Tamaki, when she called out. She said, 'Mori-Senpai, help me.' I couldn't ignore such a request from anyone, especially when they sounded so desperate. I rushed over and lifted her out of Tamaki's grip. At once it became clear to me. I knew then what Mitsukuni had been hinting at. When I lifted her, I had done so by placing my hands under her arms. I feel horrible. I practically groped her chest and she just said, 'You didn't have to go that far Senpai'. I'm so embarrassed.
When I told Mitsukuni he just smirked at me. He had some sort of look in his eyes that I can't place. But enough about that subject. I'm tired. I think I'll go and train for an hour before bed." Hikaru was fuming. He turned to Haruhi. "Why didn't you tell us that Mori grabbed your chest!" he yelled angrily.
"Because he didn't. I didn't even know he felt my chest when he lifted me. And besides, it's not that big a deal!" Haruhi yelled back.
"Not a big deal? Not a big deal! Haruhi this is a very big deal! How dare he molest you like that!" Tamaki said, his face twisted in fury.
"If he 'molested' me, then what do you call what you do on a daily basis?" Haruhi asked him. "You are constantly pulling on me, grabbing me and hugging me! Every day! That's more annoying that what happened when he accidentally touched me!"
"But…He…" Tamaki stuttered as Haruhi stood, looming over him.
"I'm going home! If you put this on my debt Kyoya, you'll be sorry!" Haruhi snarled as she stomped out of the room.
A very uncomfortable silence ruled supreme in the stunned room. Kyoya broke the silence. "My turn." he held out his hand for the book.
XxXSceneChangeXxx
Haruhi slept fitfully that night, dreams haunting her every moment. Finally she awoke. Glancing at her alarm, she noticed that it was five in the morning. She sighed. School started at six forty, she didn't have enough time to go back to sleep. Quickly showering, before dressing for the day.
"I think I need to talk to someone about this." Haruhi said to herself. "Honey-Senpai can help, I'm sure of it." she knew his route. She sometimes got rides from him to the school, since his collage was the nearest, and he usually drove slowly.
Haruhi made a quick call, then left her apartment, and began walking down the street. When she reached the train station, she boarded the train, and kept an eye out for the little coffee shop that she liked to frequent on her way to school. Soon she spotted it, and knew that her stop was just ahead.
Exiting the train, she made her way through the crowds, until she reached the shop. Entering, she noticed that Honey-Senpai was waiting for her.
"Hi Haru-chan!" He called out. "I ordered one for you today."
"Thanks Honey-Senpai!" said Haruhi. "That was nice of you."
"It was my turn to treat you today, you bought me a cake yesterday remember?" he reminded her.
"Your right." she said, laughing. "I forgot."
"You have a lot on your mind, don't you Haru-chan?" Honey asked.
"You could say that." Haruhi sighed. "I had another of those dreams again."
"The same as before, or different?" Honey asked.
"The same. It's like the dreams are telling me to get a move on…but I can't." she looked at her friend.
"I understand, but I still think that you should tell him, Haru-chan." Honey told her. "I promised I wouldn't tell him, but you really should."
"I can't." Haruhi said.
"I've never known you to be scared of anything before, Haruhi…" Honey told her. "You shouldn't start now."
"He doesn't like me back, I know it. He's a straight foreword man, Honey, and I'm sure that if he felt the same, then he would have said something." Haruhi told him. Honey was the only one out of all their friends who knew of her feelings toward his cousin, and she knew he wouldn't say anything, because he was a man of his word, and he had promised.
"What if he does? What if he does like you back, and the reason he doesn't say anything is because he feels the same fear that you do?" Honey asked her.
Haruhi smiled softly. "Thanks but, I know you're only trying to make me feel better." she ruffled her friends hair before placing her chin on her palm. "You know, you always make me feel better when we talk." she told him.
"I'm just glad I can spend time with you Haru-chan." Honey told her, taking the last bite of his cake. "But you know, if we don't leave now, you won't get to school in time."
He stood. "Ready?"
"Yeah." Haruhi followed him out of the café.
When they were at the gates of the academy, as Haruhi was exiting the vehicle she said, "By the way, Tamaki-Senpai found Mori-Senpai's journal in the club room last night. He started reading it even though I told him not to. Do you think you can come and pick it up after school?"
"Sure thing, Haru-chan, but if I were you, I would read one passage." Honey said, much to Haruhi's disbelief. "Just one. A certain one." he winked at her.
"You mean…you've read his journal?" Haruhi asked.
"He talks aloud when he writes in his journal." Honey shrugged. "But if I were you, I would take it away from Tama-chan before he gets to day one hundred and twelve. He would have a panic attack. Haha. But make sure you are the only one who reads it, 'Kay?"
"But Honey-Senpai, I can't read his personal-"
"Just read it Haru-chan? Please? I think you'll find it to your liking." He promised.
Haruhi nodded her head in defeat, and waved to him. "See you later." she called, fully intending to not read it.
"I'll get it after club, so wait for me there. Promise me you'll read it?" Honey said before he left.
Haruhi sighed, she wouldn't break a promise. "Fine. I promise."
" 'Kay! Bye Haru-chan!"
Haruhi walked to each of her classes more and more distracted. From what Hikaru and Kaoru told her, they'd only gotten to day fifty seven before Kyoya told them to put it away in the snack cupboard and they went home.
During lunch Kyoya told her that since Honey and Mori weren't going to be there, and the twins had to help their mother put on a fashion show, that the club was canceled for the day. He bid her farewell and left the lunchroom.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and Haruhi waited until the twins left, before making her way quickly to the club room. She went to the snack cupboard and after moving a little bit of sweets, she found the leather book. She walked to the couch that Mori always sat on, and opened the book.
Day one hundred and twelve. Haruhi read silently. Today was a good day. We visited the host club again since we got some time off from collage. Apparently today was one of the cosplay days, so I was very excited. The twins always pick out a really feminine outfit for Haruhi, and she's always so adorable in them.
Haruhi blushed as she continued reading. Even if she hates them. Ha-ha. It's so cute to see her blush when she first see's herself in them.
Today's was gods and goddesses. Tamaki was Zeus of course, and Kyoya was playing Hera. Mitsukuni was Hermes, Hikaru played Apollo, and Kaoru played Artemis. I played Hades, because Tamaki said since I was the tallest, though I'm not sure how that played into it, but the best part, if you know Greek mythology like I do, was that Haruhi played Persephone.
As you know, Persephone was the bride of Hades. The only bad thing was that he tricked her into it, but I wasn't thinking about that. Haruhi looked so beautiful in the silver and blue goddess costume, I could hardly contain myself.
Since it was the theme, Zeus and Hera were hosting together, of course Apollo and Artemis were together, as they are twins, which is sure to by why Tamaki gave them those characters. They could continue to do their forbidden love thing.
But what made me the happiest about today, was that I got to sit with Haruhi. Though I would have rather served her, she insisted on playing out the characters perfectly, so she served all of us. She's always so cute, and thoughtful, that's probably the reason why I fell in love with her in the first place. Haruhi gasped as she read that line. Her mind spinning back to what Mitsukuni said. She needed to keep reading…
I told that to Mitsukuni on the way home today, and he had a funny look in his eyes as he told me to tell her how I felt. I told him that I thought she liked Tamaki, or maybe even Hikaru…I know they both love her, maybe as much as I do. I said that she could never look at me the way I look at her, and though it hurts to think of her with another man, I would gladly step aside for any man whom I thought she might love.
It will be painful, but I would be happy knowing that she's happy, no matter who she ends up with. Just spending some time with her is enough for me…or so I keep telling Mitsukuni…and myself. Just because I lie to myself, doesn't mean I can lie to an innocent journal.
Yes. I love Haruhi, and I have for a long while now. This is the first entry in this journal that I've admitted it. My love for her is as plain as the ink on this paper. I love her so much that every time I see her face, my heart skips a beat. Every time I hear her voice, and her musical laugh, I want to cry from the beauty of it. Every time I get the chance to protect her, whether it be from Tamaki, or wild animals, like in that jungle, I jump on it.
Though I may not say it in words, but it's plain to see that I do love her. Mitsukuni always tells me that if I'm trying to hide it, I'm failing miserably. He's known longer than I have. I'm just lucky that he is such a good friend…
What I wouldn't give to have her look at me the way she does in my dreams. To be able to touch her face, and tell her I love her, and to be able to hug her close to me. How I wish that I could kiss her soft lips…just once…and I would die a happy man.
Haruhi turned the page, and her eyes widened as she saw the photo he'd pasted into the book. It was of that day, the whole club was in it. Haruhi scanned the photo to find him. She froze when she realized that he wasn't looking at the camera, like the rest of them. He was looking at her.
They'd sat together, because that was the way they'd hosted that day. A closer look caused her to blink in shock. She could see the truth in his eyes. He was smiling too, so gently. She traced his face with her forefinger. "Takashi…" she whispered lovingly.
She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and said, "Honey, you scared me. Why didn't you-" her words froze in her throat.
Mori stood behind the couch, his hand on her shoulder. He wasn't looking at her, but at the open book in her lap. His face was very pale. D-did she…read it… He knew what entry that photo was pasted after. He looked at it every night. He let his eyes leave the page, and rest on her blushing face.
A slight tinge of pink played over his cheeks, as he tried to school his emotions. Haruhi carefully closed the book, and stood. She turned completely to face him.
"I'm sorry." she said as she handed him the book.
His face fell. She didn't like him…he knew it.
"I didn't want to read it…" she told him. "I told honey that it was here, he said something about not letting Tamaki and the others get to that entry…and he said that…it wasn't meant for them to read. That I…" she stopped talking. Her face was hot. She could feel his eyes on her.
"I know that you didn't want anyone but you to read it, and I am sorry…that I invaded your privacy." she told him softly. Then she looked up at him, her mind made up. If what he wrote about was true, then she had nothing to worry about.
He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.
"I'm sorry I invaded your privacy but…I'm not sorry about reading that entry." Haruhi looked him straight in the eyes. " I'm not sorry because I…I feel the same way about you."
"What…are you saying?" Mori asked her, his heart hopeful.
"I'm saying that I love you too. Honey kept telling me to confess to you but I was scared…then he said I should read this and I…" Haruhi blushed. "I've been so scared to tell you…I've been terrified you wouldn't feel the same way."
Mori dropped the journal to the ground, and stepped closer to her. His heart was pounding, as he reached out a hand. When Haruhi leaned into his touch, he smiled softly at her. She stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He followed suit, and held her against him.
Mori felt his shirt getting wet, and pulled back. "What's wrong?" he asked her worriedly.
"I'm…just so happy…" Haruhi cried as she clung to him.
Mori couldn't agree more. Never breaking his hold on her, he sank them to the floor, and pulled her onto his lap. When she leaned up and kissed him so sweetly, he felt his eyes moisten. His heart swelled with love for her, and he kissed her back.
Mitsukuni was right. He should have told her long ago. One thing's for sure, he thought to himself as he pulled back to stare into her eyes. I will never let her go.