AN: I am sorry for making you wait this long, but there is nothing I can do about it. There most likely won't be an update tomorrow, I'll try my best to get one up on Thursday, but I can't promise that it will work.

eyeon, I hope you like this formatting better. There are two changes of perspective (I am wondering if I am changing the focalizer to often, but I hope it is ok this way) and I indicated them by vertical lines, I hope this is alright.

To absolutely everyone who has ever reviewed any of my stories: Thank you! It really means a lot to me and I always get excited when I see that I have gotten one or more reviews.

Kat

He has been living at the Abbey if not as part of the family then certainly as a guest of the family for over four weeks now and while he hasn't gotten used to their lifestyle, he isn't as opposed to it anymore as much as he used to be. There is no one who is more surprised by this than he is himself and he thinks that his changed perception of this kind of lifestyle has a lot to do with the family. Sybil he is of course in love with, she can hardly do any wrong and she is a little rebel, but compared to her sisters she is a lot less of a rebel than he thought she was. He always imagined Sybil to be the only one of them who would speak up to and oppose their father, but she isn't, both Mary and Edith do this as well. To his surprise, Robert doesn't seem to mind his daughters not always agreeing with him and certainly not always doing what he wants, the 'high and mighty earl' as he used to think of him even seems to enjoy talking to his daughters about things on which they do not agree with him. Moreover, Robert does not only listen to Matthew when it comes to matters of the estate but also to Tom himself and that surprises him the most. Robert doesn't always agree with them, in fact he has had two shouting matches with Matthew in the library over the course of the last two weeks, but he accepts that sometimes his future sons-in-law have a point, even if he does so only grudgingly.

Mary and Edith are not what he thought them to be either and he has realized that every member of the family has a public role to play and while their public personae certainly don't oppose their private personae, there is quite a perceivable difference. Robert is much more relaxed and liberal in private, Mary is much more of a pragmatist liberal, much friendlier and more lovingly when no one but the family is around and Edith is a lot less timid than she seems to be in public. In fact, she is quite an open person and not dumb at all as he thought she was. He once got up a lot earlier for breakfast than usual and when he wanted to enter the breakfast room Mr. Carson shook his head at him and so he stayed outside. Only Robert and Edith seemed to be in the breakfast room and Edith asked

"What's in the news Papa?"

Her father then read of a number of headlines for her and Edith repeated one of them and the Earl then read the article to her and asked "So, what do you think?"

They had then started a discussion on what should be done with war refugees and he had been quite impressed by the almost socialist views that Edith had had on the topic. Eventually Mr. Carson had nodded at him and he had entered the breakfast room and when he later asked Sybil why he hadn't been allowed in any earlier, she told him that it was habit of Robert and Edith's to go down first and to discuss a newspaper article of Edith's choice and that they always did so alone.

Robert's continued care for Cora also surprises him, he had of course known that their marriage was not a loveless one but he would never have imagined Robert being so close and almost dependent on his wife. He once mentioned this thought to Mary and she had looked flabbergasted and said "Cross out the 'almost', Tom, and then you got it right." She then turned to Matthew and smiled a brilliant smile at her future husband that spoke of so much love that he knew that Mary would become just as dependent on Matthew as her father was on her mother.

Even the Dowager is not as bad he thought. She still calls him Branson and she sometimes refers to him as 'the chauffeur' when she pretends that he thinks that he is not listening, but it could be much worse. She still throws barbs at him, but Matthew told him that the best way to deal with them was to counter them and he can certainly do that. Matthew believes in the theory that the Dowager who didn't like him either when it first became apparent that he was the heir now likes him quite a lot for two reasons: because he truly loves one of her granddaughters and because he can hold his own in argument. "And both of those things are true for you Tom," Matthew said and clapped him on the shoulder. And while Tom can't imagine the Dowager ever really liking him, he doesn't think that she hates him either.

He has been walking around the estate for almost an hour when he hears someone call his name. He turns around and sees Robert walking towards him.

"There you are. I was looking for you."

"Did I forget anything?"

"No, you didn't."

"How is your hand?"
"Still in a cast." When Robert says this he looks like a little boy who has been told that he won't get any presents for Christmas and Tom has to be careful not to laugh about him.

"Do you regret punching Carlisle?"

"Absolutely not. Although I wish you had taught me how to throw a punch without breaking my hand sooner."
"I didn't know that was part of my job." He knows he is sailing close to the wind now, Robert doesn't like being reminded of the fact that his daughter is about to marry a former servant but he just couldn't help himself.

"Yes," Robert replies. "Now that you have mentioned your job description. It appears that I am not the only person Matthew has shouting matches with over the estate."

He has no idea where this is going but he is intrigued. "Who else has he fought with? Mary?"

"Probably yes, but when are they not fighting. But that is not what I mean. He has apparently had a shouting match with Jarvis too."

"The estate agent?"

"Yes."

"I take it that Jarvis wasn't very happy about this."

"No. In fact he was so unhappy about it that he quit."

"That is not good."

"I don't know. Matthew and he had very different ideas about how to run this estate and that wasn't very good to begin with, but be that as it may, Matthew and I are in quite a fix now because we can't run the estate without an agent, even if I were to get involved full time again, which I don't want to do anyway, not yet."

"How can I help with that?"

"You could become the new estate agent."

"No." There is no way he can do this, it would mean staying at Downton and helping run a kind of estate he thinks should be broken up. Or thought should be broken up. But quite besides that, he doesn't think that he has nearly enough knowledge about estates and farming to be any good at this.

"Tom, you have all it takes. You know about farming, about this estate and you get along with both Matthew and I."

"I don't want to stay here. I appreciate you letting me stay here for a while, but this was never the plan, this is only until Cora is well again."

"Which will be at least another three months."

"Robert, I am honored by your offer, don't get me wrong, but I can't live here, I can't become an aristocrat."

"You are marrying one."

"Yes, but we can't stay here forever. I am not exactly liked here. Quite besides the fact that this is not the kind of life I want for myself or my family."

"Who doesn't like you? I thought we had made it plain that you are more than welcome here."

"Yes. You and your family have made that plain. But the servants have made it just as plain that they do not welcome me here. You know how Mr. Carson looks at me and how Thomas talks to me."

"I'll have words with them."

"That won't help. It might shut Thomas up and stop Mr. Carson from looking at me as if I was some sort of dirty fly, but it won't make them change their minds."

"Tom, they have to get used to it."

"They won't. Do you know what Mr. Carson said, when I told him that I was going to marry Sybil? He asked me if I had no shame."

"I am sorry about that."

"Thank you for that, but it won't change my mind."

"Tom," Robert says and places a hand on his shoulder. "I would appreciate your help very much. And I would like it very much if you stayed here. I don't want Sybil to leave, she is my child and I hate the thought of her leaving, but I don't like thinking too much about you leaving either. You are part of this family, or you very soon will be and no matter what you may think, we do like you very much. For loving Sybil but also for who you are."

This touches him and he knows that what Robert says is true.

"I'll think about it."

"Thank you. That is all I can ask of you. Let's go inside, it is almost time for lunch."

"There was nothing in the newspapers about us today."

"It is the third day in a row that they've left us alone."

"I suppose there are more important stories out there than that of a Turkish gentleman dying in a Lady's bed, especially if that happened six years ago. Even if her younger sister is about to marry the chauffeur."

"I think Sybil is getting a little impatient. But we'll know more after today."

"Yes." Her husband now stares into the distance with an empty look on his face. She takes his hand and squeezes it. "Robert, the worst he could say is that my recovery might take longer than anticipated, but that would not be a disaster and why should he even say that?" Robert only smiles at her weakly. He is still afraid of every one of Dr. Clarkson's visits, because although it is obvious that she is getting better every day, he still doesn't quite believe that she will recover. The shock and fear of her illness have hurt him much more than her.

When the doctor comes into her room, he announces that he has got both good news and bad news for them. "The good news is for you Lady Grantham. I think it is safe for you to walk around the house again and once you have regained a little more of your strength, you might consider taking short walks outside." She is unbelievably glad about this. She has been allowed to walk around her own room for a week now, but she was not allowed to leave it and having been stuck in the same room for such a long time has been driving her mad. But the prospect of walking around the house again, maybe even going outside again has turned her world quite a lot brighter now.

"What's the bad news?" her husband asks. The doctor raises his brows and then says "Your hand Lord Grantham, will have to be a in a cast for at least two more weeks."

"I hate not being able to cut my own food. I feel like a child."

"I am sorry. Robert now actually looks like a small child and she slightly shakes her head at the little boy that is sometimes still inside her husband.

"What?" he asks her after the doctor has left.

"You are cute."

"Why?"

"Because sometimes you look like a young boy."

"I thought I was your knight in shining armor." He is rather indignant now and she feels sorry for what she has said.

"You are darling, of course you are."

"Now you are just humoring me."

"No, I am not." She really isn't, he really is her hero, she has been married to him for almost thirty years and he still sweeps her of her feet almost every day.

"If you say so." She thinks it is time to change the topic of conversation because if she continues this, Robert will be in a bad mood for the rest of the day and she doesn't want to do that to anyone because it is hard to be around Robert if he is in a bad mood. He is generally a very gentle person, but if things don't go his way or if he feels belittled he can become rather harsh and sharped-tongued.

"I think I'd like to have dinner with the family again soon." He looks at her and raises his eyebrows.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You aren't strong enough to get through a whole dinner yet."

"How do you know?" How does he know? She feels better every day, she is allowed to walk around, why shouldn't she get through a dinner?

"If you can get down the stairs and back up again by yourself, you can attend a family dinner." This is something she would usually fight him on because he is telling her what she can and what she can't do, but she won't fight him on this. He is probably right and he has taken such great care of her that he doesn't deserve a fight over this.

"Alright love."

"Mama said your mother wanted to come here."

"Yes. My mother has realized that being my mother means that she should be there for me while I am sick, but thankfully your mother has been able to keep her at bay so far. She fabricated some story about American bodies not being able to deal with English illnesses. I am almost sure that most of it was utter rubbish, but Mama and I had a good laugh and I am thankful to her for keeping my mother away as long as possible."

It takes her more than two weeks to be able to walk down and more importantly up the stairs again without help and she is sure that she wouldn't have been able to get there without her daughters' help. Mary had mainly helped by stopping the most senior servants from attacking her with questions as soon as they saw her out of bed, but Edith and Sybil had actually practiced with her. Those two had been incredibly patient, especially so when things didn't go her way. She marvels at the development her daughters have gone through since the Spanish flu. They are of course still themselves, but they have all changed. Sybil has become a little less rebellious, although Tom being allowed to stay at the Abbey is certainly responsible for that. Mary has become softer around the edges so to speak and she knows that her eldest daughter had been the one who had been afraid the most, that strong independent woman had been sure that she couldn't live without her mother. But Matthew certainly has played a role in this too. Edith has become a lot less timid and more open, not just with her but with her sisters as well, especially Mary. Fights between those two have become a lot less and Robert has told her several times now that Edith and Mary carried the conversation at the dinner table without fighting once. She wishes she could have witnesses that but maybe she will be able to see it today. Robert has kept his promise that she could have dinner with them once she could get up and down the stairs and her maid is now getting her ready for her first dinner downstairs since the day of Lavinia's funeral.

As is his usual custom, Robert comes into her room before he goes downstairs and he smiles at her in the mirror.

"You look beautiful," he says but she knows it is a lie. She is too thin, still a little pale, she still looks tired and worst of all, she looks old. But she doesn't want to fight with him, not now, not when all he wants is to be nice and encouraging. So she smiles back at him and says "Thank you, darling."

"Anthony Strallan wrote and asked if he could come for dinner sometime next week."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing yet. I wonder what he wants." She raises her eyebrows at him in a motion she hopes he will understand to mean 'Let's talk about this later,' because she knows what Strallan wants but she doesn't want to say it in front of O'Brien, because she and Robert will have to discuss this before doing anything.

Edith came to her yesterday and told her that she had written to Anthony, that he had written back to her and that she had then visited him. Apparently he took a bullet to his right arm and now can't use it anymore, but Edith said that 'it would not bother her'. When she asked her daughter what she meant by that, Edith told her quite plainly that she was still in love with Anthony and wanted him to come to Downton to see where it would lead. She asked her daughter whether in her hopes and dreams this would lead her down the aisle and Edith smiled at that and nodded and Cora's insides had turned into a knot. Not because that would mean that all her daughters would be getting married within the next six months, if it hadn't been for the war, they'd all have been married by now, but because she has mixed feelings about Anthony. When she invited him for dinner for Mary's sake, although Mary did not like it, she had been sure that Mary would not take the bait, it had been meant as a lesson for Mary and when Anthony had then shown interest in Edith, she and Robert had not interfered because they had been a little afraid that Edith would never catch the eye of a gentleman at all and Anthony seemed a respectable solution at that time. But that had been before the war, the world has changed since then and she isn't sure whether she wants her daughter to marry a man who is as old as Robert but opposed to Robert is also not quite whole anymore. Robert doesn't seem old to her, but she already thought that Anthony seemed older than her husband before the war and who knows what the war has done to him besides ruining his arm. If she is honest with herself, she feels more comfortable with Sybil marrying a former servant than with Edith marrying and old, injured veteran. But she also wants her daughters to be happy and if Anthony Strallan is what or rather who will make Edith happy then she probably shouldn't be in her way.

"By the way, Tom has said that he will work as the estate agent at least until you are well enough for them to leave." So Robert did get her meaning.

"Really? Why only until then?"

"He wants a trial period and I think he needs some time to convince Sybil to stay here. It seems as if Tom was much less reluctant to stay here than Sybil." Robert looks rather confused and maybe even a little amused by this but it doesn't surprise her. Sybil loves Tom, she is sure of it, but one of the many reasons Sybil fell in love with him was that he could offer her a different kind of life and now the boy is thinking about staying at Downton, the home that Sybil had wanted to leave so desperately. She hopes that Sybil only needs a little time to get used to the idea because she wants her to stay; it would be so nice to have at least Mary and Sybil at the Abbey with their husbands and hopefully future children.

She dismisses O'Brien now but before the maid leaves the room, Robert says to her "Don't stay I up, I'll help Lady Grantham later on."

O'Brien only answers "Very good your lordship," but Cora is sure that rumors will be flying through the servants' hall as soon as O'Brien has entered it.

"Robert," she says exasperatedly.

"What?" he asks.

"First of all you know that we can't, not yet, but you also know that that is what the servants will think we are doing."

He walks towards her now and wraps his arms around her. "I don't care what the servants say. I want you to myself. And now let's go downstairs; otherwise my mother will think that we are doing it right now."

"Robert."

"Sorry darling."

Dinner is a pleasant affair, Mary and Edith really do not bicker and Violet is trying her best not take Isobel's baits, but she is rather unsuccessful at it. It doesn't bother Cora, Violet fighting with someone is almost a traditional part of family dinners and she is just glad that she isn't fighting with her.

Despite Robert's predictions that she would be too tired to go to the drawing room after dinner, she leads the women through and although she has to sit down again immediately, she doesn't feel incapable of staying in the drawing room. Violet sits down next to her and takes her hand, something that is very unusual for her. "I am glad you are doing so much better." She knows this is heartfelt and she squeezes Violet's hand in thanks before letting go of it. "But I am not sure how much longer I will be able to keep the Queen of Sheba on the other side of the Atlantic."

"I appreciate the effort you put into this and you have kept her in America for a lot longer than I would have been able to do. So thank you for that."

"You are welcome my dear girl." Violet has never called her that before and she thinks that her mother-in-law has not realized what she has said, so Cora doesn't comment on it. Edith then helpfully asks Sybil rather loudly whether she and Tom have set a date for the wedding yet but Sybil shakes her head and says that she would like to wait at least one more week before making anything definite. The men the enter the drawing room too and Violet vacates her place on the sofa immediately to make room for Robert who smiles at his mother and says 'Thank you'.

"How are you my dear?"

"I am very well Robert, don't worry."

"I just don't want you to relapse." He is still so scared and she wonders if he will ever get over her near fatal illness. Robert stays close to her the whole evening and he is very sweet to her and it reminds her of the time when they were courting. Of course his motives are very different now. Now he is sweet to her because he loves her and he wants her to feel at ease and before they were married he still wanted her to be at ease but not because he loved her but because he wanted her to marry him. Although she often wonders whether he would really have been so sweet to her if he hadn't also been sweet on her, they got along well right from their first meeting on after all.

When it is time to go upstairs, Robert and she leave the room together and as soon as they have reached the bottom of the stairs, he puts his right hand on the small of her back. It isn't appropriate, strictly speaking, but there is no one watching and Isobel and Violet have already gone home anyway, so the only people who could see them are their girls and Matthew and Tom and she supposes that none of them would be too shocked. The servants might see them of course, but she isn't too worried about that, the worst rumor they could spread would be to tell people that the Earl and Countess of Grantham are in a physical relationship with each other and that is old news, almost everyone who has ever heard of them knows that. Robert guides her into her room and instead of letting go of her, he turns her towards him, puts both of his arms around her waist and says "I love you."

She smiles at him and says "I love you too" and it makes his heart beat a little faster. He knows that she is not yet really well again, he can see that she is very tired, but they are on the verge of getting their normal lives back and they are both looking forward to that immensely, even if that means that two and possibly even all three of their daughters will get married. Although he supposes that that is much harder on him than it is on their mother. He wants to kiss her, not out of desire, although he desires her of course, he has always done that, but out of love. He is scared of asking too much of Cora, but she smiles at him in a way that says 'go ahead' and so he leans forward slightly and isn't surprised when she meets him half way. It is a very light kiss they share, not much more than a touching of their lips, but Cora puts her hands into his hair eventually and he slowly deepens the kiss until they are kissing in a way he is sure they shouldn't, not yet. But he can't stop it, he wants this kiss so much, it is a kiss that mingles his relief about Cora's certain recovery with his desire and most of all his love for her and he knows that the kiss has the same meaning for her as well. So he pulls her close to him without breaking their sweet and yet fiery kiss. It is Cora who pulls away at some point and she looks at him and then says "Robert, if we don't stop now, we won't stop at all but we have to stop. No matter how much we don't want to stop," in such a husky voice that it is hard for him to not kiss her again. But he lets go of her reluctantly, very reluctantly and Cora smiles at him again and says "soon, my darling." He closes his eyes for a second to catch himself and when he opens them again, Cora has stepped away from him a little to give them the space they need right now and he smiles at her and says "yes."

Adama-roslinlove: I hope you liked this as you have been waiting for it for quite some time :)