Who He Wants To Be

Chapter 10: Meeting Lisa Hallett

Posted: October 9, 2005

A/N: Thank you everyone for the support, follows, favorites and reviews! This is a shorter chapter than the last few, so don't expect 5,000 words. It's closer to the usual 2,500.

On an aside: For those wanting to know a little about Jack's experience of the relationship, I have a small view into his experience/life planned for Chapter 14. If I get to 100 reviews before then, I'll write something new and give it to you early. Even so, there's an entire arc of his experiences planned further down the road, if you're patient.

.

.

.

"Hi, I'm Lisa. Lisa Hallett," said the gorgeous dark-skinned woman as she extended her hand. "You must be Ifan Jones."

"It's Ianto, actually," he said with a smile as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles in a James-esque gesture that had her blushing. "Ifan is just for taxes and legal paperwork. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Aren't you a charmer?" she asked playfully. "And Welsh. We don't have many Welshmen or women at Torchwood."

"Not even at Three, in Cardiff?" he asked, moving to take his seat at his newest, and hopefully last, temporary desk. From what he understood, after two weeks with an HR person, he'd be given a new desk and a mentor, from out of the people he'd sat next to over the last three months. He was hoping for Billy Masters from Archives, or, a close second, Samuel Johnson, also of that department. He'd consider Heather Shafie, who ran the Personal Assistant pool, also, though she had a habit of sucking her teeth that would probably drive him mad within a month. He liked the work he'd done in Archives best, of all the things he'd done.

"Oh, Three is its own animal," Lisa said with a laugh, going to her own seat. "Captain Harkness picked them out all on his own, and prides himself on having as little to do with Yvonne and London as he can."

"Really?"

"There are supposed to be quarterly inspections," Lisa said in a softer voice, leaning towards him to give him the gossip. "But half the time either he or Yvonne cancel, so it ends up being only once a year or so. I think the last one was in May, and she had him come here to do the inquiry in person rather than have to go there herself."

"That doesn't sound particularly useful."

"No, but it was epic! The captain's a born flirt, and he went around the building kissing people wherever he went. Men, women, it didn't matter to him. Some people say he'd even kiss an alien! You should have seen it! They put a board up in the lobby where people could sign their names if they kissed him. And then, when he left, he edited it for accuracy!"

"Sounds egotistical," Ianto commented, turning on his computer and logging on. "Did you get to kiss him?"

"He didn't come to HR," Lisa answered with a sad sigh. "Maybe next time. They say he's got movie-star good looks."

"Huh. How often does he come by? Just quarterly?" Ianto glanced at his email and schedule. Nothing immediate.

"Oh, nothing that regular. He just shows up when he wants to. He's a law unto himself, from what I've heard. Did you know he used to be a Companion of the Doctor?"

Ianto gasped. "What? And they let him be in charge of Torchwood Three? They let him work for us? How is that possible? Shouldn't they have taken him in for questioning, gotten what he knows about the Doctor?"

"He's been around a very long time, they say," Lisa explained. "Questioned him when he first arrived, they say. An expert on aliens, they say. Some even think he's an alien!"

"An alien? Working for Torchwood?"

"That's what they say," she said.

"Wow. I'd like to meet him, then," Ianto mused. "Must be an interesting man."

Lisa smiled. "If you meet him, bring him up here. I want a chance for that kiss!"

"Right, sure." Ianto felt himself blush, thinking he might consider it, if the man was as handsome as she said. James wouldn't mind him kissing someone else, not if it was only once. He could almost hear James telling him it would be hot, and that if he wanted to do anything with Captain Harkness, he'd be up for that sort of thing. A threesome, or to watch, or even just to hear about every last detail over the phone while he wanked. James was a kinky bastard sometimes, Ianto thought. He cleared his throat and attempted to change the topic. "What's the process from now on? Do you figure out who I get assigned to?"

Lisa seemed to sense his need to move on and answered promptly. "Oh, no, I'm just a part of the process. Everyone you've worked next to has submitted a report. You'll have an extended interview with Catherine, the head of HR, to determine who you're assigned to. That'll happen Friday for you, since you're one of the last on the list, then it takes a week or so for them to make the choices. It's a good sign to have the interview Friday, by the way. That means they think you're one of the top candidates. They save the better ones for last."

"Like having a sweet after dinner?"

"I was always a fan of ruining dinner if there was cake available," Lisa commented wryly. She gave him a speculative look, and he wondered if she found him attractive. She was certainly pretty enough, he thought, slender and curvy with a nice smile and big brown eyes. Not too much make-up, either, which was a point in her favor. He wasn't sure what to say, wasn't sure he was really up to the task of flirting with her quite so much, so he changed topics again.

"Are there really 20 HR people able to babysit us like this for two weeks?"

"There's 23 of us, since we have to go through this every quarter and the number of recruits isn't always an even twenty like it was this time. But there are only 16 newbies left from your class. A few people have dropped out already. Your chances of making the six-month cut just got better."

"That's great!" Ianto exclaimed before he could stop himself. "I really love this job. It's interesting and seems like we do good work."

Lisa laughed. "Save it for Catherine, Mr. Welsh Man," she said. "I just need to assess if you can write a memo, take dictation, answer the phones, and do filing with some degree of accuracy."

"Is that all?" he asked with a flirtatious smile, knowing he'd be able to do all those activities easily and well. "I think you'll find I'm up to the task."

She groaned. Then giggled. It would be a good two weeks sitting next to her, he decided. And perhaps he wasn't as stale at flirting with women as he thought. It must be James's influence. The man would flirt with anyone.

.

.

.

"Ianto, was it? Billy," Billy Masters said on Wednesday when he ran into Ianto in the canteen. "Wanna get coffee?"

Ianto paused, puzzled. "Um, sure," he answered. He wasn't used to men asking him out, if that's what Billy was doing. It felt rather strange. It made him think of James. But he'd told Billy when they sat next to each other that he wasn't gay, so perhaps it was just a friendly invite. He didn't think Billy was gay, either, though they'd never talked about it.

"Good. There's this little shop right nearby. We could do it now, or after work, what do you think?"

"Now's a good a time an any," Ianto murmured. He followed Billy from the canteen, down the lifts, and out the front door. Ten minutes later they were sitting across from each other at a small table in a crowded cafe, cups of cappuccino in their hands.

"Sorry for the subterfuge," Billy said. "But the Tower has ears, and I'd rather talk about this where they can't overhear."

Ianto nodded, intrigued.

"I want to mentor you," Billy said bluntly. "I think you're the best candidate, and we got along. I wanted to see if you agreed."

"If I agreed that we got on well? Yeah, I think we did. I was going to ask if we could be paired up, actually."

"Don't do that!" Billy exclaimed. "If they know we want to work together, they'll keep us apart. That's how the politics work here."

"But why would they keep us apart? That makes no sense."

Billy leaned forward. Ianto leaned closer, too.

"There are spies throughout the building. UNIT has them, the CIA has them, Captain Harkness has them, even Hartman has them."

"Why would Hartman spy on her own organization?" Ianto whispered.

"To make sure everyone's toeing the company line," Billy explained. "And Captain Harkness has totally different views on most things alien," Billy added. "He and Hartman trust each other just as far as they can throw each other."

"Hmm, I've heard that," Ianto mused. "So why come to me like this?"

"So I can tell you not to ask for me. Ask for someone else, like someone in Special Weapons."

"I don't want to be a part of that," Ianto protested. "I can't stand the thought of Special Weapons. That Michael guy I had to sit with was a jerk, and he kept going on about a big gun he wanted to requisition from Three. Like it was his mission in life to get it away from Captain Harkness."

"Michael Sheldon?"

"Yeah. He even showed me a picture on his phone. I guess he'd seen one of the women over at Three using it when he was in Cardiff and snapped a picture. He told his boss, and the boss said to ignore it, but Michael's obsessed. He got written up for looking into it on company time. He has half a dozen different things he's tracking that his boss said not to worry about. Technology that might be alien that he's seen about town, or on the internet. He showed me the whole lot. Don't we have a different department for dealing with that sort of thing?"

"Huh," Billy grunted, nodding to answer Ianto's question. "It's part of the Cover-Up Department. Tagging and Tracking, we call in in Archives, since most of the items aren't actually alien and never make their way down to us." They drank their coffee in silence for a little while. "You'd make a horrible spy, you know," Billy said with a grin.

"What?"

"Never tell strangers random things about work. You never know what's important. That's the first lesson."

"Is it? And how would you know? Are you a spy?"

Billy laughed. "Naw, I just watch a lot of James Bond," he said. "Pierce Brosnan is hot, but I liked the look of Tim Dalton better."

"He's nothing next to Sean Connery," Ianto replied. "I mean, come on, he made the role!"

"Fan of the classics, are you?" Billy asked, and the conversation easily slid away from anything work-related until the very last moment. "Tell them you want to work with Michael," Billy whispered as he left Ianto to finish his coffee and head back to the office alone, saying that would be better than them walking back together.

.

.

.

"And then he said, 'they'll think you're nuts, but you'll have a better shot at getting me.' That makes no sense! I mean, does he think I'm an idiot?" Ianto asked James that night over the phone. "I have absolutely no interest in working with Michael. He's an asshole!"

"Didn't think there was that kind of politics at the National Archives," James responded. "They really assign you to a mentor? You don't just get to pick your own?"

"They say it helps with the training process," Ianto explained.

"Huh. Well, if you want to work with this guy, and he's been there longer than you, you might want to follow his advice. What did this Michael show you?"

"Oh, some ancient weapon they found in Scotland," Ianto lied quickly. He hated lying to James, but he knew he couldn't mention that he was talking about a super top secret alien-augmented weapon. "He was the guy from my tenth week. The one who kept going on about the women he slept with. Different woman every night, it seemed. Total misogynist."

"Oh, him. You hated working with him."

"I know! But the guy from today seems nice. Normal, too, and you know what kind of nutters we have over here. It's like most people have to be certifiable to work there."

"Who was he again?"

"The guy I sat with my fourth week. When I was dealing with all that anxiety," Ianto answered. He settled back on his bed, crossing his legs at the ankles. "He's the one who showed me the ginger tea recipe. But I don't want to talk about work anymore. Did you have any ideas about this weekend?"

"Dinner? A movie? Back to yours? Outstanding sex?"

Ianto laughed. "You're so predictable," he teased. "But isn't this the weekend I come to Cardiff?"

"I'm sorry, but no. The damned contractors. I had to fire the lot. Turns out it was taking so long because they were smoking pot on the job. I'll have to hire new guys, and they might have to redo the whole thing!"

"That's horrible! Can you get your money back?"

James sighed. "I'll try. But how can I prove something like that? I'll have to talk to my solicitor. In the meantime, I have less of a flat than usual, so I'll have to come to London again."

"Well, my bed is alway available," Ianto said, trying to hide his disappointment. "You know that. What about the movie Red Eye? I think it comes out on Friday."

"Haven't heard of it."

"You'll like it. It's got airplanes."

"It's a possibility. Will you blow me in the theatre?"

Ianto coughed, having just taken a sip of coffee when James asked the question.

"You ok, darling?"

"You did not just ask that!"

"Oh, I rather think I did," James replied, the leer in his voice coming through loud and clear. "So, will you?"

"No!" Ianto exclaimed. "Of course not!"

"Too bad. I could use a good blow job right about now."

"Did you have a tough day?" Ianto asked, concerned.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, but it wasn't fun, by any means. One of Suzie's projects exploded in our faces this afternoon. Literally. We all look like we've got a bad sunburn. Owen says our faces should be back to normal in a few days, but I might be a little red when I come up."

"And why does having a red face mean you need a blow job?"

"She spent three months working on this thing, it cost a lot of money, and it exploded. All that research down the drain. My bosses won't be happy when I tell them, and the budget report will be fucked for the quarter, since I have nothing to show for it. The blow job would put me in a good mood before I write the report."

"If you sit down and write your report right now, I'll have phone sex with you when you're done," Ianto offered.

"Really?"

"Really. Now get to it! You don't want me to get started without you, do you?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" James barked, even as he laughed. Ianto imagined him giving Ianto a salute. "I'll call you when I'm done."

Ianto smiled as he hung up the phone. Given James's usual track record for this kind of thing, he figured he had about an hour to finish what he was doing and be ready for the call. He also needed to figure out what kind of 'sex' they were going to have. Maybe something a bit daring? Something they'd never tried? He'd been reticent to bring up breath-play again, but it seemed like James had liked it that one time. Maybe he could put a twist on it? Make it something he could handle but would still excite James? Do it over the phone? He wasn't sure if it would work. He'd have to do research.

.

.

.