Holy poop it's been a while since I updated this thing. If anyone is actually still out there… enjoy!

She was stiff when she woke up, and the bed was not a silky-sheeted twin. In short, she had no idea where she was.

Trying to get a grip on her bearings—and waiting for her vision to adjust to the darkness in the room—she rolled over, and saw Shuuya Nanahara in bed beside her, fast asleep, mouth agape.

"AAAAH!" she cried, scooting away from him in horror. She yelped as she toppled backwards and hit the ground, her attempts to catch herself on the blanket before hitting the carpeted floor proving futile, and all that did was wake Shuuya up.

"Springsteen!" Shuuya gasped, pulling the blankets up to his chin and looking around in horror. Then he looked at the disgruntled Takako on the floor, and grinned. "G'mornin', sleeping beauty. I knew I should've left you on the couch!"

"Then why didn't you? Why am I in your room? Where's your wife?" Takako asked, her tone clearly annoyed as she got up and straightened her pajamas. "Did you change my clothes!?"

"Calm down, Yukie did, she was leaving right as I got you home. Guy tried to jump off the Harashiwa Bridge, she had to report on it," Shuuya said dismissively. "Oi, get my blanket off the floor!"

Takako scowled, but pulled the aforementioned blanket off the ground and folded it absentmindedly. "So what happened?"

"You got drunk and started talking to some guy in a suit, then you punched him because he started flirting with some other girl. Guy said you called him Mimura a few times too, so he didn't want to press charges." Shuuya replied promptly, a wicked grin on his handsome face. Takako's face was horrified, and he laughed. "If you wanna know the rest of the story you will join me for breakfast, because I am hungry and Hiroki says you're an awesome cook!"

"Hiroki lied!"

The eggs were somehow undercooked and burnt at the same time, but Shuuya had eaten them nonetheless (goddamn right), and promptly supplied Takako with the information she wanted. However it wasn't really useful, at all. The only reason the authorities called Shuuya to pick Takako up was because his number was the last she'd called on her cell phone (before she'd thrown it at fake Mimura).

"I think Hiroki knows you banged Mim," Shuuya said thoughtfully.

"He knows, I told him."

Shuuya's jaw dropped. "Well there goes my theory. Fuck."

"Theory?" Takako asked.

Shuuya shrugged. "I got nothing else to do all day, might as well meddle. Bugging Mim is fun too. I snapchatted a picture of you sleeping to Mim," he said, laughing. "I know that motherfucker saw it, too, it says 'opened' but he hasn't replied. Probably jelly."

"Jelly of what?" Takako seethed. "Of the nothing? You're married! What does Yukie think of all this?"

Shuuya shrugged. "I've loved Yukie for ten years. And she knows the deal with you and Mim."

"What deal? How does everyone know of this deal I never discussed?"

"I thought you guys were past this! He wants you to move in with him, isn't that enough?" Shuuya asked, looking exasperated.

Takako froze, and Shuuya looked sheepish. "He hadn't told you that, had he?"

"No! I have an apartment anyway, why would I move in with him?" She did have a two bedroom apartment, that she shared with Hiroki, but now that he was getting married… how had they not discussed who kept the apartment? And Shinji's house was much closer to the hospital—"I am not considering this without talking to him!"

"Then go talk to him. And ask that motherfucker what I gotta do to get him to snap me back, I'm bored." Shuuya sighed.

"Get a job, then you won't be so bored!"

"Mim offered me a job. I dunno if I'm gonna take it, though." Shuuya sighed, poking at the remaining bit of egg that was too rubbery to attempt to eat. "Takako, do you think I'm selling out? Getting a real job because I can't hack it as a singer?"

"No," Takako answered crossly. "It's not fair that your wife has to pay all the bills while you mooch. You can chase your dreams and work a real job. Besides, you'd be working for Shinji, it's not like he's actually going to make you do anything." She glanced at her cell phone, which now had a big crack in the LED screen but still worked, somehow (all hail Android phones). "I'm gonna be late for work. Call Shinji and take that job before he fills it with someone else."

"I will if you will," Shuuya promised, and laughed when she swore loudly and stomped out of Shuuya's house, slamming the door behind her.

Getting Shinji over to her house—and finding something interesting enough to send him that would warrant a response on Snapchat—wasn't hard. All she'd done was take a picture of a Victoria's Secret bag and send it to him.

Two seconds later, he'd responded with a question mark, and she was absolutely disgusted to admit this to herself, but Mimura had just gotten himself laid with a question mark. He didn't even have to try at this point.

But Mimura rolled over, clearly having had his brains fucked out, and Takako stared at the back of his head impatiently, waiting for him to respond to her incessant poking. "Shuuya told me something."

"Yeah, how'd you like spooning with him? I saw that picture."

"It has nothing to do with that, I was being held captive against my will. Did you or did you not talk to Shuuya about me moving in with you after Hiroki and I sell the apartment?"

"No talking. Sleep now."

"Mimura, goddamn you, answer me!"

"Did you not just have the best orgasm of your life?"

"That's not the point! If anything that just…" Takako tried to think of what to say, then settled for grabbing his hair and yanking him over so he had to look at her. "Why would you ask Shuuya and not me?"

"Shuuya doesn't have a job, he's much more available for idle chit-chat," Shinji answered, batting her hands away from his hair and narrowing his eyes at her. "What are you and Hiroki gonna do? You don't actually want to live with them once they're married, do you?"

"I don't want to live with them now," Takako clarified.

Shinji shrugged. "Then come live with me. Ikumi likes you. I have a spare bedroom, it's not like we'd be sharing. We would be roommates. Who have sex all the time."

"Ikumi lives there too, do you actually want to have that conversation with her?" Takako asked skeptically.

"You're the loud one," Shinji pointed out. "I just figure… I didn't ask because I figure you'd freak out and suspect me of harboring ulterior motives."

"Like what? Like we're going steady because we live together? Are we freshmen in high school now?"

"It's not that ridiculous, we spend every night together," Shinji pointed out, trying—and failing—to act like this was a throwaway subject for him. "We ever going to talk about that?"

"Why do you always want to talk about our feelings after we have sex? Are you a girl?" Takako asked, annoyed, rolling over with her back to him. She interrupted him when he tried to protest. "No talking. Sleep now."

"It's 6pm! And you're paying rent."

"Done."

He had to admit—even if it was only to himself—he was beginning to have serious doubts about Shuuya Nanahara's abilities to function in a proper office environment.

"These people are sheep," Shinji explained patiently, after having fitted Shuuya in one of his own suits (since Shuuya actually did not own one). "The smallest things freak them out. The smallest things entertain them. They are not visionaries, and if they ever do manage an independent thought, they think they deserve a raise."

"I know, Mim, I watch The Office," Shuuya said, waving a hand dismissively. "I just answer the phone, right?"

"And make sure everyone's happy. You know, if it's someone's birthday, you plan a party. Maybe do a presentation on hygiene, after we all got that stomach flu a month ago."

"You got a stomach flu?" Shuuya asked curiously.

"No, I never get sick," Shinji answered proudly, punching the elevator button to take them to the top floor. "Oh, and don't mention that you know me, all right? Nepotism and all that."

"What's that?"

"Giving someone a job they are completely unqualified for, just because you know them," Shinji answered, sighing when Shuuya used his cell phone to check his nose. "Can you not?"

"Just making sure I'm presentable," Shuuya replied promptly. "Hey, Mim, it's too bad you get sick, because if you did, maybe Takako would have to take care of you. Hippocratic oath, right?"

Shinji blinked. He had a programming meeting scheduled later that afternoon, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Shuuya's idea would be the best one he heard all day.

"Oh, I told Takako you wanted her to move in," Shuuya added, but he was spared Mimura's Wrath, because the elevator doors promptly opened.

Bide your time, Mimura. He's a fool, you'll get your chance. He smiled evilly at his young protégé (ha, as if) and gestured for him to lead the way.

Shuuya's first day seemed to be going well. The women of the office perked up notably, then lost interest when Shuuya introduced himself as "married to that smokin' chick on Channel 8" and set up an enormous picture of his wedding kiss with Yukie on his desk.

Shinji barricaded himself in his office, claiming to be very busy, but mostly just not wanting to see whatever it was Shuuya got himself into.

Miyu Hisakawa was less than pleased, and called Shinji several times to voice her displeasure. "Shinji, where did you find this guy? He put the phone on speaker for an hour and sang some medley of Born to Run and Livin' on a Prayer. Not bad, but everyone is waving their phones like they're in a rock show and nobody is working!"

"So? All they do is play solitaire anyway, the meeting isn't even until noon," Shinji pointed out.

"Yeah, then he got a call from his wife, and left the phone on speaker!"

Shinji peeked out of the blinds, and groaned, watching the top of Shuuya's head spin around. "Can you, I don't know, stop him? Unplug his phone if you have to."

"Sure, that's a good addition to my skill set. I have to stop deranged women from barging into your office, now I have to stop our office administrator from wreaking havoc?"

"Fine, I'll do it," Shinji said hastily, "just don't quit. You're all I have." He got up, shrugged back into his jacket and fixed his tie, and opened the door. "Shuuya, what the hell are you—"

He tripped over the printer cable (which a certain office administrator was supposed to tidy up) and fell, in what seemed like slow motion, in a graceless flail, resulting in him hitting the left side of his head against Kaito the Office Temp's desk.

Shuuya's yelp of MIM ARE YOU OKAY was audible over the other gasps amongst his employees, and Yumiko rushed over towards him. "Shinji?"

"Just fine," said Shinji, admittedly a bit dazed as he sat up. Several employees screamed, including Shuuya.

"What?" He caught his reflection in the frame of a picture hanging on the wall and was surprised to see half of his face was covered in blood. "Oh, shit."

"Someone needs to take you to the hospital," said one of the accountants. ("Someone who gets paid hourly, not commission!")

Shinji glared at Shuuya, who immediately turned in his wheelie chair to stare at something fascinating on the wall, but Yumiko was already grabbing her purse. "Come on, Shinji, I'll drive!"

Kaito the Office Temp, bearing a sad expression, slowly changed the 'Days Without A Workplace Injury' sign from "362" to "0", as Shinji and Yumiko left.

Shuuya looked up. "Does this mean I'm in charge now? Office administrator?"

Everyone exchanged nervous glances.

Shuuya beamed. "So before you all stand up and declare me your leader, allow me to make the following decrees!"

Takako had just finished giving the good news to a worried mother—that her teenaged son, who stuffed 32 Clorox Wipes into his mouth to win a bet, only to be promptly rushed to the hospital to have his stomach pumped—would be just fine. The woman had been clutching her purse nervously, and sighed with relief at the good news (she would later shriek in horror at the bill, but that was not Dr. Chigusa's department).

She was in the middle of flipping through her clipboard, when a nervous-looking girl with curly brown hair and glasses approached her. "Um, hi," the girl said, prompting Takako to look up fom her clipboard and narrow her eyes instinctively. "I know you don't know me, but you're friends with my boss, and he's in there now, do you know if he's going to be okay?"

Takako blinked. "Slow down. What's his name?"

"Shinji Mimura?"

Takako stared. "He's in the hospital?"

The girl nodded. "He hit his head, there was blood everywhere. But he seemed fine until we got here, when he blanked out. Then he wouldn't stop saying he was dying and he needed to see some doctor."

Takako could really only stare. "Um. Well, uh, just—I'll check on him for you, all right?"

"Thank you," the girl said, obviously relieved.

The nurse at reception gave her a smile with a bit of an edge to it when she asked about Shinji. "You mean that great-looking guy with his head split open? Dr. Hitachi's with him now," she answered. Takako nodded and hurried off, walking as fast as her legs could take her.

"Dr. Hitachi? Shinji? Shinji, what's going on? What the hell happened?" Takako asked, looking between him and the doctor, fixing her stethoscope.

"I'm dying," Shinji told her, his eyes dancing. Takako narrowed her eyes at him and looked towards the senior doctor.

"Actually, he hit his head, and there was blood everywhere, but he is most certainly not dying," Dr. Hitachi reported, trying not to chuckle.

"Your little secretary told me you said you were dying," Takako said, looking annoyed.

Shinji shrugged. "Half of my face was covered in blood. I panicked."

Dr. Hitachi fixed Takako with a smile, and looked at Shinji again. "I'll leave you with Dr. Chigusa. You're in good hands, son, your girlfriend is a very talented doctor."

"I am not this person's girlfriend," Takako said crossly.

"Really now?" asked Dr. Hitachi, "well, he was asking for you, I was about to call for you when you showed up. And you're listed as his emergency contact."

Shinji grinned at her behind Dr. Hitachi, and Takako narrowed her eyes as the senior doctor left the room. "What is the meaning of this? Did you fake a damn injury just to come here and bother me?"

Shinji blinked innocently, gesturing to his head. "You think I would mangle my head to see you? Don't flatter yourself."

Takako sighed and sat down next to him, reaching over and examining the three butterfly stitches along his hairline with gentle fingers. "I wish he called me sooner so I could've stitched you up."

"Really now?" Shinji asked, amused. "You worried an amateur would scar my beautiful face?"

Takako laughed. "No, I would have just enjoyed jabbing you in the head with a needle."

Shinji looked wounded. "You have no idea how much that hurts."

"I can't believe I'm wasting my lunch break for this. People could be dying and I'm in here with you," Takako said crossly.

Shinji shrugged. "Well, while I've got a room, you want to—"

Takako shot him a dirty look before she left the room.

Everyone grouped around Shinji curiously, who managed to fend his employees off. As expected, the noontime meeting had not occurred without him, which pissed him off more than cracking his head open had. He opened his office door, intent on being left alone, when he found Shuuya sitting in his desk chair, his feet up on his desk, his dirty shoes on his brand new desk calendar.

"SHUUYA!" he shouted, and Shuuya yelped, pulling the earbuds out of his ear. He grinned sheepishly. "Oh, Mim, you're alive. Good to know, mate."

Shinji inhaled deeply, forcing myself to remain calm. "Get out of my chair."

Shuuya groaned. "It's nicer than mine!"

"I fucked Takako sitting in that chair," Shinji attempted, and that worked. Shuuya made a disgusted face and jumped up like his ass had been set aflame.

"Thanks for the help," Shinji said crossly. "Takako thinks Yumi is my secretary. That's you. Now she's suspicious."

"Or jealous," Shuuya offered. He held his hands up defensively when Shinji's glare did not subside. "You said not to act like I know you, throwing myself on top of you and sobbing would've been a dead giveaway that I knew you! I mean, if I was all distraught, they would've suspected something."

"You could've been concerned for your generous boss, who let you have phone sex with your wife on speakerphone," Shinji interrupted. "Ugh. Just get out, Shuuya, my head hurts and I want to take a nap."

"I think the training manuals you made me read describe that as stealing time from the company," Shuuya began, but Shinji threw a binder at him, and that made him beat a hasty retreat.

Dr. Miyako Tsukino was the only other female doctor who worked with Dr. Takako Chigusa in their section of the hospital (ADD DETAILS JEN IF YOU'RE READING THIS, WHICH YOU ARE); therefore, she was used to running into the other woman, but rarely outside of work. Chigusa was quiet, kept to herself. She worked her ass off and was well-liked by the patients (and the male staff), but the nurses didn't have much to say about her, other than occasionally mentioning the sexy boyfriend she had.

Miyako had always been one of those 'reach out and touch a friend' types, and she brightened at the opportunity to socialize with Takako. Especially because solo lingerie shopping was so dull…

"Takako!"

Takako dropped what she was holding and blushed bright red seeing Tsukino standing there. "What?" she asked, looking startled. "I mean, uh, hi."

"Hello," said Miyako simply, smiling. She looked down at the pile of lingerie Takako was surreptitiously trying to cover. "Hot date?" she guessed.

Takako frowned. "No."

"Oh come on," said Miyako, "we've worked together for two years, we might as well try and be friends."

Takako groaned. The words try and be friends clearly gave her indigestion.

Miyako sensed this, and tried again. "Your boyfriend is very handsome. Every time he comes around the nurses can't shut up about him."

"Shinji? He's not my boyfriend," said Takako, looking surprised.

"Really?" Miyako asked, blinking. "He was wheeled in today in a stretcher, asking everyone in scrubs for Dr. Chigusa."

"No, he's not," Takako replied.

Miyako just shrugged and went along with her day. She was a doctor, not a psychiatrist.

It wasn't until Takako was in a fitting room, trying on the lingerie she'd picked out and wondering what Shinji would think of it, that it hit her.

What do you call someone who calls you every night, who you buy sexy underwear to impress and who you have sex with? Who brings you dinner when you're working late and makes your co-workers gossip? Someone with whom you make out with and veg out on the couch watching TV with on Thursday nights? Who is a boy who is a friend? Her mind asked this treacherously.

Oh, shut up, Takako thought at herself. So what.

Short one, yes, I promise I'll start cranking these out faster. This literally took two hours to write, I hate how easily distracted I get, but work and school comes first (I wish I made money writing). Feedback welcome!