AN: I've been without a computer since mine died in December. I'm set with a new laptop now, so expect more regular (as in, not taking four months) updates from here on. After all, I need to get this done by July.
Chapter 10: Back to the Beginning
As December faded into January, London's Christmas cheer melted into winter's dreariness. Cold rain fell on New Year's Day, washing away the holiday decorations and leaving the city grey.
The change in atmosphere affected Harry the most. Though there was laughter inside the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, he could no longer be wholly distracted from the business of hunting Voldemort, not even by the warmth of family.
Every night he sat in front of the glow of the fire kept constantly lit in the library, his frustration grew. Talking with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione was not going to find the missing Horcrux or catch Voldemort.
"Have you thought about where to go next?" Remus asked one evening.
Harry looked away from the fire, surprised by the question. "I thought you wanted us here," he said casually, trying to cover up his enthusiasm. He'd become certain that it was time to leave, but he hadn't known how to broach the topic with Remus.
"I did, at first. But you have changed, Harry. Your impulsiveness has been tamed by something…" Harry shifted slightly in his seat but didn't answer the obvious question. Remus didn't need to know about the incident in the kitchen, as long as he could see the results.
When Harry remained quiet, Remus shrugged and went on. "I don't believe I was wrong to bring you here as I did, nor do I believe it was a complete waste of our time. You did find an important spell and destroy a Horcrux—two steps closer to the end. But…"
Harry finished the thought for him. "There's nothing more I can do from here. I still need to find the fifth Horcrux before I can face Voldemort. I won't find that here… but where?" He wondered, wrinkling his brow in contemplation.
"Hogwarts," Ginny said, surprising them both. "That's the answer, isn't it Professor Lupin?"
"I believe so, yes."
"Why Hogwarts?" Ron asked.
"Because Ron," she said with exaggerated patience, "it seems logical that as much as Tom loved the school, he might have hidden a Horcrux there."
"I thought of that too, but I don't know when he would have had the opportunity," Harry said.
"Voldemort was always more than capable of making his own opportunity, Harry. You should know that more than anybody." Harry grimaced at the reminder, and Remus went on. "There's another reason to return to Hogwarts however; the library."
"Of course! I can't believe I didn't think of it!" Hermione said, smacking her forehead with her hand. "The largest collection of books about Hogwarts and its founders is at Hogwarts. Surely we'll find some mention of a Ravenclaw artifact he might have used as a Horcrux."
"But how can we go back? We're not students anymore," Ron pointed out.
"And Professor McGonagall wasn't happy with me last summer when I wouldn't tell her about the Horcruxes," Harry added.
"Don't worry Harry, I've already written Minerva. She's agreed to let you stay in your old rooms. Truth be told, I didn't give her much room to argue," he said, smiling a little.
From that, Harry guessed that however politely he'd phrased it, he had made it an order. He'd been surprised at first to learn that Remus had taken over as leader of the Order of the Phoenix, but it made sense. Professor McGonagall was tied to the school without the benefit of a deputy to step in, Moody was more content in the field than managing operations, and Arthur was needed inside the Ministry.
"Will they take the train back with me?" Ginny asked.
"No, that would give the Death Eaters far too easy a target. They'll Apparate to the school gates the day classes start."
"We're not going to be actually… studying, are we?" Ron asked.
"You could use the extra time with the books," Hermione told him.
"Oh, and the books were so helpful when we were looking for Slytherin's locket," Ron jibed, laughing when she blushed.
"That's right!" Ginny said, poking Harry in the side. "You promised to tell me when Ron and Hermione were here. Well, we're all here now."
Ron grinned. "Now that's a funny story." Hermione groaned and covered her red face with her hands. "See, Hermione here was getting rather frustrated that she couldn't find something in a book."
Ginny feigned shock. "Hermione couldn't find something in a book?" she gasped, laughing when her friend parted her fingers and glared at her.
"Exactly. She was quite upset about it really."
Hermione dropped her hands to her hips and glared at Ron. "I was trying to find information on another Horcrux," she said hotly. "I think it's perfectly understandable that I was getting a little agitated, Ronald."
Knowing how quickly their discussions turned into involved arguments, Harry quickly stepped in to keep the conversation on track. "That was when I suggested we work on the locket for a while, since we knew it existed at least."
"A smart decision," Remus said with an approving nod, "but I'm still not sure how you found it."
"We have Hermione to thank for that," he said, grinning at his embarrassed friend. "She was rather doubtful of my idea, so she was mocking me, asking if we were just supposed to raise our wands and say—"
"Accio Slytherin's locket!" he and Ron chorused.
"You should have seen the look on her face when it flew through the air," Ron chortled.
"Yes, well it was supposed to be a joke!"
"But it worked, Hermione," Ginny pointed out.
"That's right. Without you, the locket would still be hiding here in plain sight," Remus said. "It was good work, even if it was accidental." She looked slightly mollified by the praise.
Remus waited a minute and then turned to Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. "If you three would excuse us, I need to speak to Harry alone."
"What's going on, Remus?" Harry asked as his friends filed out, shooting puzzled glances over their shoulders. "You know I'll tell them whatever it is as soon as we're done, why go to the trouble of having them leave?"
Remus shut the door before answering. "Because that's the way leadership works," he said. "Information is shared and plans are discussed, and then it is decided how much to pass on. I'm not asking you to keep things from them Harry, but you are the leader; not Ron, not Hermione, not Ginny. As such, it is your right to hear things first. Whatever you choose to tell your friends is up to you."
Harry nodded and he continued. "You left this down here last night," he said, holding up a book. "I'm curious to know what your plans are."
He recognized is as his book on wandless magic. "My wand doesn't work against Voldemort's," he said. "They share a core. I thought if I learned some basic wandless magic, I might be able to disarm him."
Remus looked at him thoughtfully. "I wonder where you get your almost instinctive abilities in Defense Against the Dark Arts," he mused. "James excelled in Transfiguration, and I'm sure Slughorn told you about your mother's aptitude in Potions. Neither of them was particularly adept at Defense."
"Does that mean you think it's a good idea?" Harry asked hopefully.
"It means it's one I wouldn't have thought of, and that would certainly take Voldemort by surprise. But Harry, wandless magic isn't something you can learn from a book, or even something you can practice. You can't control it; it flows from the emotion of the moment."
Harry raked his hands through his hair. "Then how am I supposed to defeat Voldemort?" he asked.
"I don't know, but I know who might. You might try talking to Professor Dumbledore's portrait when you get to Hogwarts."
When the trio walked through Hogwarts' doors two days later, the Headmistress was waiting for them. "Good, you made it. Come with me," she said crisply, leading the way to her office. They smiled and rolled their eyes—Same McGonagall: no welcome, just straight to business.
"Quaffles, she said distinctly to the statue guarding the stairs.
"That's her password?" Ron whispered as they ascended to the Head's office.
"She's as obsessed with Quidditch as Professor Dumbledore was with sweets," Harry replied.
"I prefer to call it healthily devoted, Potter," she said without turning around. "You are correct about Albus however," she added as they entered the room.
"Correct about what, Minerva?" a familiar voice asked.
Harry started violently. The last time he'd been in this room, Dumbledore's portrait had been asleep. Now it was most definitely awake, his eyes twinkling behind half-moon glasses. "Professor!"
"Hello Harry. I see you have brought Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger with you, very good. How are you coming along?"
Harry glanced at his friends and saw they were still frozen in shock. He felt a brief stab of sympathy; this was the first time either of them had seen their former Headmaster's portrait.
"Er… that's actually why we're here, Professor. Hermione wants to take another crack at the school library—"
"I think Hermoine'd like to live in the school library if she could."
"That won't be necessary, Mr. Weasley," Professor McGonagall said, regaining control of their meeting. "Your things have already been taken up to the Tower, as you are aware. Your roommates know you will be arriving tonight. I asked you here so we could discuss some ground rules."
"No surprise there," Ron muttered, and then grunted when Hermione dug her elbow into his ribs.
McGonagall's nostrils flared. "I am going to pretend you didn't say that, young man. As I was saying, you are not students, so you will not be required to keep curfew. I have arranged with Madam Pince for you to have full access to the library, including the Restricted Section. You are free to come and go between the castle and the village as you wish, though I would advise you to remain within the safety of the grounds."
Her lips tightened before she continued. "However, Miss Weasley is a student and still needs to abide by all school rules. If you wish to enlist her aid in your search that is acceptable — as long as her school work does not falter. One misstep and you will find that I am still quite capable of punishing you, even if you no longer attend this school. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, Professor," they chorused.
"Good. The password on the portrait hole is Mountain Troll. I thought it would bring back some memories," she said with just a hint of a smirk. "Good night, I shall see you tomorrow for breakfast."
Harry started to file out of the room behind his friends, but turned back at the last minute. "Professor… I was wondering… would it be all right… could I speak with Professor Dumbledore?"
For an instant, her eyes softened and Harry knew she understood his desire to talk to his mentor alone. "Very well, Potter. I will be in my quarters, kindly knock when you are finished."
He watched her go into a second room before walking slowly around the desk to stand face to face with the portrait. "I was hoping I could ask you a question, sir."
Portrait-Dumbledore's mouth lifted into a sad smile. "Ah, Harry. I am not truly myself, you know that. I am merely an impression of a man who once lived. I am afraid that all I could do is repeat what I have told you before."
"But maybe that would be enough, sir," Harry persisted. "Maybe… maybe you already told me the answer, and I've just forgotten."
Well-remembered and much missed compassion shone in the blue eyes. "Very well, Harry. I will do my best. What is your question?"
"How am I supposed to kill Voldemort?"
"Yes, we have talked of this before, and if I may say so, you do yourself no credit by discounting what I have told you many times."
The eyes that peered over the glasses were as stern as McGonagall's, prodding Harry to defend himself. "Sir, if you're talking about love again…"
"It is impolite to interrupt a dead man, Harry." The mild rebuke made Harry flush and incline his head apologetically. "Now then…. Yes, I am speaking of love. For some reason, you never heard me when I explained this to you. It is an act of love that will save you."
"An act of love has already saved me once sir; and Voldemort managed to turn it around to his favor."
"You are referring to the incident when he took your blood."
It wasn't a question, but Harry answered anyway. "Yes, I am! My blood that was supposed to keep me safe, because my mother's sacrifice was in it. He took it, and now he can touch me without even flinching—but my scar burns when he does. So excuse me sir if that doesn't seem like very good protection."
"Harry, like so many things Voldemort has done, that will not turn out as he had planned."
Harry looked at him keenly, hoping for another clue. Dumbledore remained quiet, and he finally asked, "Is that it?"
Dumbledore chuckled at his disappointment."Do not trouble yourself, Harry. You will understand… When the time is right, you will understand."
"Yes, well… thank you, sir." Harry knocked on Professor McGonagall's door and left, feeling perhaps more confused than he had before.
He made his way to the Tower almost by habit. "Mountain troll," he said absently to the Fat Lady.
"Welcome back," she said warmly, opening for him.
"What took you so long?" Ginny asked when he finally entered the Common Room.
"I wanted to ask Dumbledore what spell I'm supposed to use to kill Voldemort, he said, sitting down next to her on the couch and placing his hand in hers.
"What did he say?" Ron asked.
"He said… I'll understand when the time is right."
"Completely nutters," Ron said, sounding happy that death had apparently not changed him.
"Did he say anything else?" Hermione pressed.
"He said that something Voldemort once tried would backfire on him… He used my blood when he came back, he can touch me now." Harry had never told them this and he gave them a moment to digest it. "Then he said it would be an act of love. He always said love would defeat Voldemort in the end."
"There you have it then. Tomorrow morning, you start looking through all the spell books we can find for any spells involving love," Hermione said, satisfied to be getting back to her books.
"Do you really think it's going to be that simple?"
Surprisingly, it was Ron who answered. "Harry, Dumbledore was mad as a hatter, but he was always right."
"Tomorrow morning then," Hermione repeated decisively. "Now, I think we ought to…"
"See the view from the Astronomy Tower," Ron interrupted, dragging her toward the portrait hole.
"But…"
"Don't argue," Harry and Ginny heard him say before the door shut. "I've been wanting to get you up there for years."
"That was more than I needed to know," Harry groaned.
"Really? And I suppose you've never dreamed about meeting a girl in the Astronomy Tower?" Ginny teased.
"Maybe," he said, pulling her closer. "But I should tell you that your Headmistress gave me a very thinly veiled warning not to distract you from your studies. I don't think she would approve of us sneaking off to be alone."
"Hmmm… What do you think she'd say about us being alone on a comfortable couch in front of a fireplace?" she asked, rubbing her thumb across the palm of his hand.
"I think she's going to have to live with that," Harry whispered before pulling her into a kiss.
It was much later when she pulled back and said, "I think I should go upstairs now."
He groaned his protest and lowered his lips back onto hers. "Don't go."
"But Harry," she said, wide eyed and innocent, "what would Professor McGonagall think if she knew you were already distracting me?"
He knew exactly what she would say, and the tone of voice she would use. "You're not being fair," he whined but let her go nonetheless.
"I know I'm not, and you love me for it," she said impishly, giving him a quick peck before standing up.
"I do," he agreed before yawning loudly.
"You should go to bed too," she told him. "Hermione is going to have you in the library all day, every day, until you find something."
"That won't be any different than when we were in school," he said and stood up.
"Except this time she's trying to save your life, not just your Potions grade." Her voice was sharper than usual, and Harry looked at her, surprised. "You will take this seriously, won't you?"
He hugged her and said, "It's not just my life, it's yours and everyone else's. Believe me, I'm taking it very seriously." The honesty in his eyes satisfied her searching gaze, and she gave him one more hug before going upstairs. Once she was gone, he sat back down in front of the fire, staring into its flames. "You don't know how seriously I'm taking it," he said quietly.