So…I got myself a beta for this story…so much more work if you have one T_T
It was nighttime…the only time Roxas seemed to be around (save for the last few days). And Sora thought this was as good as any to have this…talk.
"Roxas?" Sora whispered the name to the person sitting at the kitchen table, writing something(only to crumble it up and throw it out in a moment). Sora carefully sat himself down across from the writer and Roxas lifted his head so their eyes met.
"What?"
"Um…I…I want to go home…" Sora whispered as he stared down and at the wooden table instead of at Roxas.
Almost as expected, silence followed…
The scribbling stopped and Roxas remained frozen, much like Sora. But the silence bugged him to no end so the young man tried again.
"Roxas…? I…" Sora didn't get the chance to continue as Roxas sat up and walked past Sora. The brunette's head followed. As he saw Roxas pick up his black jacket, Sora jumped up upon realizing Roxas was leaving.
"Roxas!" he cried and said-person slowly looked back at Sora with a blank face, "Roxas…please…" Sora pleaded with watery eyes and a pained expression. But Roxas didn't respond…he walked towards the door and the next thing Sora knew, he was left alone…
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Roxas brisk past the endless trees; he knew where he was going despite it being dark out, but his mind was clouded. Sora wanted to go home…Sora doesn't want to be here any longer…Then again, Sora never exactly WANTED to be here in the first place.
The poor blonde knew he would have to deal with Sora's pleading and begging to return home sooner or later but…before he didn't really care. Now however…he wanted none of that. He didn't want Sora to go…he didn't want to LET Sora go!
If he wanted to…he could take Sora away, hide them both, and keep Sora with him forever…
Roxas suddenly paused in his steps from that thought.
"Wait a minute…of course I WANT to!" he looked back, but the little cabin was out of sight so he looked back to what's in front of him, "But I can't…"
His face fell and he sat himself down beside a husky tree. He buried his face into hands and shook his head.
"I can't…I can't…" The more he said he couldn't, the more he wanted to…but the more he told himself he couldn't.
"I…could never make Sora happy…"
Brief happiness didn't count. Anyone can have brief happiness. Even Roxas can get himself brief happiness. But Sora would never be truly happy to be away from home…away from friends…away from Axel…
"No matter how hard I try…I could never give him the happiness he deserves…"
The more Roxas thought about it, the more he realized how torn he was; torn between Sora's happiness and his own…
I'm going to be gone for a while, probably a week at most. There should be enough food to last you more than that. Please do step out for some fresh air though.
-Roxas
Sora's hands dropped after he finished reading the note Roxas left. He wasn't sure when Roxas came back last night, but the guy must've been super quiet if he was able to stock up on everything without waking Sora up. But Sora couldn't believe it…he was going to be left alone for possibly a week!
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"…What are you doing?" Riku questioned when he found Roxas sitting in his chair, but banging his head against the wall.
"Thinking…" he responded and continued doing what he was doing.
"…You took some days off, only to come back like a wreck. You're not even doing your job!"
"Ugh," Roxas paused in his actions and sighed, keeping his head against the wall, "Riku, let me ask you something…important."
"…I think you and I have different definitions of 'important' though," said Riku while folding his arms.
"No, this is really, for real, serious, important," said Roxas and sighed again, "You…still care about Sora, right?"
"…If it was possible for anyone to turn off a love-switch, I'm sure this world would be a lot less complicated. Of course I do, but I don't like where this is going," said Riku in a serious tone, not wanting to speak about Sora with Roxas.
"It'll be quick, I promise," Roxas mumbled. He knew Riku isn't the first person by choice to ask but there was no else available, "So, if you still love him…then, you'll want to be with him…right?"
"Right?" Riku raised a brow at this weird conversation.
"…then why aren't you with him? Aside from the obvious of where Sora's whereabouts are."
"…" Riku took in a breath and let it out. He took a few steps and Roxas finally looked off the wall and over his shoulder to see if Riku was leaving. The silverette leaned against Roxas's desk and stared outside the window, "How can I?" he finally answered.
"Well how can you not?" Roxas questioned back but Riku only sighed once more.
"I know YOU of all people may not get it but…I love Sora. I want him to be happy…who am I to take away that happiness? Why would I even dare try? When I saw him again…he was happy. He was smiling, laughing and…he was expressing the joy I haven't seen in a while…" Riku quickly wiped a tear off his face before it slid too far down his face. He stood up straight again and cleared his throat to get rid of the cracking in his voice.
"…So you'd suffer? For him?" Roxas questioned before the silver-haired man could add anything else. But Riku just shrugged, giving Roxas no more than a glance.
"Him being happy…makes me happy too, even if it hurts. It'll hurt for a while I guess, so to answer your question directly, I'm gonna have to say yes."
"For a while?" Roxas repeated and spun his chair around completely.
"Yeah, I have to get over him eventually. Not to say that I won't stop caring for him, but being depressed over this won't exactly be good for my health or my job…speaking of which, why the hell am I talking about this? I came here to tell you to get back to work!" Riku exclaimed and gave Roxas a scolding look.
"…Right, I'm going…sorry," Roxas murmured and rolled up close to his desk. Though Riku stood there for a few more moments, trying to figure out whether or not he heard that right…did Roxas just apologize?
Riku's words stung. How could he do that? If you love someone, shouldn't you go out of your way to prove that you love that person more? Prove that you love that person more than anyone else ever could and show that you would do anything for the person?
As Roxas walked home later that evening in continuous thought, he noticed couples out on dates or something like one. He hated how envious he felt for them…
Though his thoughts were interrupted when he saw some familiar faces…in regards to his regular beat-up around this time…
One week later:
Sora couldn't believe it! Roxas actually left him here for an entire week! He was getting tired of avoiding this, tired of being here, and just plain tired of being alone for so long! If Roxas didn't get back by the end of the day, that man is going to get an earful when he does. But his hopes of seeing Roxas today dropped when it reached afternoon...and then evening…
It was 2 hours short of midnight and Sora sighed for the umpteenth time. He had given up on waiting for the blonde to show up, so he simply went to bed…
But he didn't, or rather, he couldn't fall asleep. Sleeping had been a problem for Sora for a while. He kept thinking about home, and how much he wanted to feel the warmth of being home and being with his love again…
But before the sandman could put Sora away to dreamland for good, the sounds of the door clicking open woke him up. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up even more, and then blinked them open to see the blonde hovering over him.
"…You came back…" Sora whispered tiredly.
"…Of course," Roxas replied and Sora felt a shift in the bed when Roxas sat down, "How…are you feeling?"
Sora groaned for a response but looked at Roxas in question.
"What do you mean? I'm…alright? Kind of…"
"…"
"I…still miss home," Sora whispered in a sad tone. Normally he'd push aside feelings like that to not worry others…but not anymore. He missed home like crazy; it was all he could think about.
"I…thought so," Roxas whispered as he looked away. The moonlight from the window was the only source of light in the room and it shined perfectly on his face.
"Are you okay?" Sora's hand reached up and gently touched a new bruise he spotted on that pale face. It was then that he remembered Roxas didn't like being touched there so Sora pulled away, but not completely when he saw Roxas didn't even respond to the touch.
"I'll be okay," Roxas replied and his own hand held Sora's and put it back down on the bed, "…You really want to go home?" he asked and turned his head just enough to see Sora. The hand he had on Sora's unconsciously clenched a little. Sora's eyes lightly widened and he pushed himself up into a sitting position, accidentally breaking the hand contact.
"Y-Yes!"
Roxas could see it: Sora had hope in his eyes. The blonde's voice got caught in his throat as he looked away again.
"…Maybe…I can take you back…tonight."
Roxas didn't want to see it, but he can easily imagine the joy that must be plastered on Sora's face right now.
"R-Really?" he could hear it in his voice too…So Roxas just gave a simple nod and the next thing he knew, he felt a whole new weight on him as Sora nearly jumped and hugged him tightly from behind. "Thank you…thank you!"
"…But you need to be asleep…" Roxas nearly mumbled,
"Oh, that's fine! That's fine! I'm just…so happy…"
Roxas shut his eyes just to avoid catching that bright smile that he knew was on Sora's face right now.
"Oh gosh! So…should I just go to bed right now? Oh gosh, but I'm too excited now!"
Roxas let out a sigh as he shifted to face Sora, but head still lowered.
"I can just drug you, you know, like the first time," Roxas murmured; he took out a handkerchief and showed a bottle of chloroform in his jacket pocket.
"Oh…is it…dangerous?" Sora pointed,
"Only if it's an overdose…I'll be careful, I promise," Roxas replied, still looking with his head down, but he caught a nod from Sora.
"Oh, alright then…if you say so!"
Roxas sighed as he thought to himself on how he ended up in this predicament…
Sora was practically bouncing on the bed and if Roxas didn't know better, he'd think Sora was just begging to be knocked out. But as Roxas prepared the handkerchief, his heart raced. His mind was so clouded that he almost forgot he shouldn't be trying to knock himself out. Still, his hands grew shaky and his emotions were threatening to overwhelm him.
Roxas had to be extra careful due to his acknowledged clouded judgment that it took longer than he had expected to prepare. But before he even realized it, as if knocking people out seemed to be second nature to him, he had the fabric on Sora's face. But unlike last time, Sora was still and willing, eyes gently closed and his body slowly fell limp. As soon as the body started to fall back, Roxas reached out and caught him and pulled him close. As he held the unconscious body close to him, the tears broke loose from Roxas's eyes.
He only then realized why he had such problems the whole time; he was holding in the inevitable. Roxas held Sora closer to himself and let the tears run as he caressed the one in his arms. When he saw his own tears drop on the soft skin, he almost choked in surprise. He didn't remember ever crying so hard…
In his head, or maybe even it's the devil on his shoulder, it just kept repeating: Take him away, take him away…he'll be with you forever…take him away…take him away…
And the other part of him, probably the angel on his other shoulder, kept saying he couldn't…
Roxas was unsure how much time has passed or how long it took for his tears to show signs of stopping. Still, the sleeping Sora kept a peaceful look on his face, despite all the tears that had fallen on him. He knew Sora may be mad at him later, a cute mad, but mad nonetheless for not saying goodbye…
Roxas hesitantly lowered his head and closed his eyes; ever so slowly he graced his lips upon Sora's. It was even harder for Roxas to remove himself from the other, but he eventually did, and whispered something that only his ears can hear and something only he'll remember: "I love you…"
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Axel kicked a can as he walked down the street at this late hour. Eventually, he picked it up and tossed it when he saw his home within view. After Marluxia and Larxene informed him of a certain chase that happened after they last saw Roxas, Axel grew a bit concerned(well more concerned). Still…nothing was giving him that horrible gut-wrenching feeling that he had when Sora first disappeared. When he went to that far away downtown today, he was hoping he'd catch Roxas there…but apparently not. What he didn't expect however, was that this late-night search for Sora would end with him seeing Roxas holding a sleeping, or what Axel hopes better be sleeping, Sora on his front steps.
The obvious noise from Axel's approach made Roxas look up at the man, blue eyes meeting green. Neither seemed to want to make the first move or say the first word…neither seemed to even KNOW what to say or do in this situation. But the more they stared at each other, the more Roxas wanted to crawl back into a shell. Axel seemed a lot more intimidating in this current set-up. So Roxas slowly got himself into a stand after he looked away first. He held his arms out a little for Axel, and without hesitation, Axel reached out to take Sora. But Roxas had a hard time letting go; and only did, slowly, when Axel pulled Sora to him a bit more strongly.
"…Will you…take care of him?" Roxas found himself asking as he stared at Sora, his voice cracking in the silent night.
"Always," the taller one replied strongly and firmly. The confidence almost shook Roxas in fear.
"…Will you…protect him?"
"With my life."
"…" Roxas felt himself form fists and his body tense up, "Do you…love him?"
"Forever will…I'll love him for eternity."
And Roxas lowered his head in defeat.
He took a step and he felt himself almost wobble as he did, but he caught himself and continued his way as he walked past Axel and tore his line of sight away from Sora. He'd walk and never look back…even though he knew he would. The shattered heart he carried ensured that he'll keep coming back. As crazy as it sounded, Roxas knew he'd never find someone that could ever get as close to him as Sora did…and he wanted it to stay that way, no matter how much it hurts. Sora was his only one, Sora was the one, Sora was the one he cared about most in this world…and he would never let him go.
Story is NOT over! Repeat: Story isn't over yet!
There's still another chapter! Maybe even 2…I'm trying to figure out what's the epilogue and what's not or even if I'm even gonna have one.
Please read and review!