AUTHOR'S NOTE!: Before I say anything else, I'd like to say that I'm nearly through watching One Tree Hill...or at least scenes I know will have Lucas and Peyton in them. And let me tell you why: IT all started with epidsode 5.07. I'm not the kind of person who will bash your opinion and tell you its wrong, I don't do that. But I also don't like fake things. And right now, I feel like the relationship we're seeing with Lucas and Peyton has no real foundation other than that of the first season. I'm ADMITTING, yes Leyton fans, telling you your right, when you say that the two of them were in love first season, I saw it then! The two of them were totally for each other in the first season even if Lucas was dating Brooke! But listen to me: that changed in the second season! I'm not saying that Lucas had no feelings whatsoever for Peyton, of course he's always going to love her, be in love with her. But he chose Brooke in the second season! He gave them enough time to get over him and when it was finally all happening for him to make his choice between the two without drama, he chose BROOKE! And he stuck with her! HE stuck with her all the way til the fourth season when SHE dumped HIM! Not the other way around! He was HEARTBROKEN, he wanted her back and he didn't want Peyton, at least not until she told him she loved him and guess what?! He took back Peyton because she was there, not because he really wanted her more than Brooke. He couldn't have Brooke so he settled for Peyton. And the only reason they're together in the show now is because Chad and Sophia are divorced, and its hard for them. We ALL know thats the truth, if Mark would have kept true to the show and not the actors[which i'm not blaming him fro, I know it's hard on Chad and Sophia, we would all still have Brucas and I honestly believe that. I just had to get that off my chest because I'm tired of watching these Brucas moments in past seasons where Luke repeatedly says he loves Brooke TO Peyton, and then watching the Brucas moments now and hearing Brooke say "you guys are meant to be together" because that's not the way the story was going at all. The show is suffering because of a real-life situation. The Brucas moments now are so fake and so are the Leyton ones, I can't even watch them. Brooke would NEVER tell Luke that he should go after Peyton, never. And like I said, this is how I perceive the show to be, this is how Mark set up the characters in MY mind, and right now, it's too fake for me. Of course I'll still watch the show, but I'm just not happy with it at all.

Now that my ranting is over, I'll move on with the chapter. This will have some pretty adorable Brooke/Jamie scenes and maybe a Lucas/Skills scene also.

One more thing, I'd like to share a fact with you, the last time I took a CW poll, which was right after the Leyton proposal epidose where Peyton said no and Brucas kissed, there was a question something like Would you rather see Leyton or Brucas? ----56 answered Brucas and 44 answered Leyton

Pretty much every poll I've ever seen has been similar to that, with always a little more people answering Brucas and not Leyton. I promise you I'm not making that up either. If Mark did what a majority of his fans wanted, we'd have Brucas...but enough bashing him.

Let's start.

[P.S. The chapter title is the name of a Jack's Mannequin song. I think I really need to inform you that not all the chapter titles have something to do with the song they're named after. Some of the chapters have to do with a quote in the song, some are based off the whole song, and some are just that title because it's the name of a new song I found and liked. The title of this chapter was going to be "The City Is At War" because...well, just read and I'll tell you at the bottom.

DISCLAIMER!: Leyton is terrible and we need Brucas so I really shouldn't give you credit for making the show Mark, but I'm not about to go against copyright laws or whatever but you care more about making your actors happy than us, and we're the reason your getting paid! Tell Chophia to get over it, divorced people work together all the time, they've had enough "getting over it" time and they'll be fine! If they can stand next to each other at the 100th Episode Party, I'm sure they can do Brucas scenes.

Chapter 10- "I'm Ready"

-

TRIC.

Short for "Electric Supply". Or at least that was where Peyton had gotten the name from: An old burnt out sign that read "Hurley's Electric Supply" although the TRIC part of it still seemed to burn bright, even after all the years it had been in use.

That was Brooke's destination tonight. She was going to TRIC with her two best friends. Her third one was still residing in the Big Apple, fuming over her sudden departure. Brooke felt bad for leaving Rachel without telling her that she was coming home and not going to Milan, but she had tried to make up for it several times. She was sure that her ex-fat-ass roommate would have found several lovely deliveries at their lush apartment by now, all of them being sent there by her personally. She had even invited Rachel to come down here with her. But Brooke knew, as Rachel knew, that the former terror in her life loved New York and wasn't about to come back to Hicktown...unless she was desperately needed by Brooke. And she wasn't...yet.

Last night's events, though, had led her to leave the red-head an extremely long voicemail at 3 in the morning. Brooke guessed Rachel wouldn't know how to feel after listening to her hilarious story that had her talking along the lines of a teddy bear who was well-made and loved by everyone that had seen it. The teddy bear was very popular, but no one wanted to adopt him. They all knew the secret of how he was abandoned by his owner and his owner's best friend, who shared him. They also knew that he tried to find his owner many times but his owner always stayed lost. The bear was completely alone, so he sat in the window being admired and passed by easily left alone with his thoughts and heartache.

She knew Rachel would get the message and would be calling her soon to yell at her to get over Lucas and she was ready for the lecture.

She was still upset about her conversation with Luke last night and she knew that was the only reason she'd called Rachel at all about him. That's why tonight, she wanted to spend time with her girls, her insides.

She was also ready to spend a nice and peaceful day with the only boy in her life at the moment.

James Scott.

Her adorable godson who, frankly, she had spent little to no time with since he'd been born. Today would be the second day since she'd gotten back that she would see him and she couldn't remember ever being more excited.

She had gotten up early that morning, or not really "up" since she never went to bed. She'd quickly checked to make sure Peyton would be okay for the day and stayed long enough to inform her of the plans they had tonight. She knew if she satyed too long, she would have heard Peyton's complaints. Then she headed over to Haley's.

As Brooke walked up the steps to her friend's gorgeous home, she remembered something. The last time she had been here, she ran into Lucas. At the thought of that, she nearly turned back around and drove off, but she was spending the day with Jamie. If Lucas was there, she'd just have to get over it long enough to pick up her godson and leave. No conversations.

She rang the doorbell, something she'd only gotten used to doing in very recent years, and flashed a huge smile when her tutor-girl answered the door obviously flustered.

"Brooke! Oh my goodness, thank God you're here! I'm so late already, I had to call a sub for my first class and I gotta go and..." She was interupted by Brooke.

"Haley, Go! I've got him! We'll be fine, go!" Brooke said as she smiled even more. She loved it when Haley was stressed like this, she always did hilarious faces.

Haley thanked her as she let Brooke in the house. She quickly grabbed her purse, keys, and laptop and headed out the door shouting a second thank you as it shut behind her. Brooke was still chuckling slightly as she headed toward the living room. She stopped short in the doorway though, the sight before her was a bit scary.

Nathan Scott. He was the brother of her unrequited love, an incredible basketball star, a once beyond-jerk-of-all-jerks, an ex-hook-up, her best friend's ex-boyfriend, her other best-friend's husband, and her godson's father. And now in front of her, she saw that he had become something so different. He was the picture of a broken man. His hair was shaggy, like he hadn't cut it in years. His face was overgrown with hair and scruff. His eyes were empty, the light that had once shown so bright in them had dissapeared like the stars do as the sun hits the horizon. And the biggest change of all was the 30 pounds of metal his butt had currently taken up residence in. And all that was just the physical change obvious in him.

"Hey Nate...uhhmm, how are you?" Brooke asked awkwardly. She'd been in town four days and this was the first time she had seen him. She knew about his wheelchair from her talks with Haley, but she had never expected to see him like this. He was so hollow.

"Brooke Davis. I heard you came back." Nathan said as he turned his seat to face her. She could tell the difference in his personality now. There were no "hellos" or "how ya been's" or sarcastic greetings. There was just emptiness. Suddenly, she felt worse for Haley than she ever had.

"Yeah, I'm back. I'd love to talk to you more but I'm guessing I won't get much of a response. It's not really something I'm used to, you know with me being famous and all, so I'd rather not waste my breath on someone who seems to be ignoring his friends and definitely his family." Brooke gave him a look of dissapointment and called to Jamie to get ready to leave. He said nothing back to her, they just stared at each other. She guessed that she had either hit him in a really tough spot or he just didn't care. Either way, her old Brooke fierceness seemed like it was going to come rushing back to her at any moment and she had to get out of that house and away from that man before it exploded all over him.

She walked outside and waited until Jamie came running out like a little ball of energy. She couldn't help but smile and forget her anger at Nathan when she immediately heard him start talking about how much fun they were going to have and all the things he wanted to show her in Tree Hill, like he was the only one that lived there. She knew this was definitely going to be a day to remember.

-

"At first glance, she seemed like the same girl she once was. Still beautiful and brilliant and brave. It was like she never changed, and that was okay because who she was before was more than enough. But as soon as she turned to look at him, he could see what four years had done to her. It had shaped her into a woman, she was no longer just a girl. The moments in her life that would define her forever were the moments she paid the most attention to and she was attentive in that moment, when she looked at him. For the first time in four years, Brooke Davis looked at him like she was in love."

Lucas was typing his heart away, he had so many things racing through his mind, so many ideas. But as he looked over what he just typed, he closed his eyes and threw his finger down on the delete button, hard. He grasped his hair in frustration and sighed loudly.

Idiot! That's what he was, an idiot. He always had the right words to say, words were his alibi, his friend in all situations. He had used the most special words on numerous occasions to descbribe the moments that he loved or to enlight happiness in the people he cared for. Words were always his way to keep his hope alive, to hold on to something. And to be there now, without the right words, without any words was beyond frustrating. It was painful.

He couldn't understand why everything he thought and then tried to put into writing just came out wrong. It just came out terribly wrong. It seemed like his thoughts were blurring themselves on purpose with his emotions and they all came out at once instead of seperately. All of it was starting to scare him. If words were abondoning him now, in his greatest time of need, what would he do? This was his job, his calling, to write. He was supposed to put ink to paper and tell wonderful stories that could change someone's life the way his books had changed his. It had never been so hard, his first book had come to him like flame comes to a fire. What was going so wrong with this second book?

He leaned back in his chair and just sat there, just sat there completely at loss for what to say or do. He stared at his blank computer screen and tried to imagine that it was really filled up with incredible words that he could send to Lindsey and she would be so proud of him and he would feel accomplished and everything would be fine. The problem with that though was he needed more than great words to be fine.

Brooke seemed like she was really upset last night, maybe he should call her. Yeah, that's what he'd do, he'd call her. He could use their visit last night as an excuse.

He grabbed his cell phone off his desk and flipped it open. He pressed the arrow that forced the list to continuously move down until he reached the number that he'd wanted to call a thousand times in the last four years, but had never had the courage to press the green button. This time he did.

The signal was ringing loudly in his ear as he paced around his room. Ring. Ring. Ring. Finally, the sweet voice he longed to hear picked up and said, "Hello?"

"Brooke! Hey, it's uhhh, it's me." Lucas said.

"Luke? Is that you?" Brooke said a bit overexcitedly. He had a feeling it didn't have anything to do with the fact that it was him calling her though because the next second he heard, "Aunt Brooke! Aunt Brooke, come one! We gotta go ride the carousel!" It was the voice of his four-year old nephew. Silently, he was thanking God that the man who was in Brooke's company was much too underdevolped for her taste, and also her godson. Their godson.

"Luke, I can't really hear you! We're at a fair downtown and kids are screaming and rides are going...why don't you come and meet us?"

She wanted to see him. Apparently he hadn't screwed up too bad last night.

"Jamie really wants you to come!" She added as the young one jumped up and down screaming "yeahhhh!"

Or maybe he did. But, being the dutiful uncle and godfather he was, he couldn't let his little guy down! And if he just so happened to end up spending an entire afternoon with Brooke, well at least he would have an excuse, so...

"Yeah, sure, I'll be there in a few minutes!" Lucas finished and shut his phone. He stood there for a second and smiled at himself for scoring a day with his pretty girl. Then, he grabbed his overshirt and headed for the door.

He would just have to do his very best to win the biggest toy at the carnival for his genius nephew.

-

Brooke was waiting on the bench, happily watching Jamie go round and round on the carousel. She had already went on it with him the past 5 times so she decided to let him go solo for this one. This day was turning out to be pretty perfect. She was spending quality time with her godson, she was at a carnival for the first time in over 12 years, and she had come to a revelation.

Maybe Lucas hadn't exactly meant what she thought he did during their conversation last night. After she had awhile to think about it, she reevaluated his words and took them to mean something different since she was out of her drunken state and hysteria. Maybe he had meant that he wanted to move on past their love-triangle like she thought, but that didn't necessarily mean that he was looking to close it with Peyton. She knew, just like everyone did, that their little threesome of betrayal and heartache would have to end eventually. And everyone knew that Lucas would end up with one of the two girls, there was just too much history and love with the both of them that could never be replaced. But he still hadn't made his choice.

The sad thing was though, both girls were still desperately waiting for that choice. She couldn't understand why she and Peyton were waiting for this one boy to decide between them. They both deserved better than that, they both deserved to have love with someone that didn't need to decide which of them he liked better. They were spending all this time waiting for Lucas Scott to make his final decision, just like they had always waited, and he was nowehere near it. So why were the two of them putting themselves through that? Why was Brooke allowing herself to fall in love over and over with a boy that would always love not only her, but her best friend?

She thought she had the answer, but whether it was logical or even correct was what she wasn't sure of. She knew she was in love with Lucas and always would be. She knew that she could picture him being in her life forever. She knew that she would always be attached to him and she never wanted him to make Peyton as his final choice.

And she knew that she was going to fight for him, but she wasn't going to fight forever. What she wanted and what Peyton wanted only went so far. They both loved Lucas, or at least Brooke thought so. The only decision that had yet to be made was who Lucas wanted? Who did he love more? For awhile, she thought it had been her. He had told her repeatedly that it was her, she was the one for him. But then when she broke up with him, he had told Peyton all the same things. So who knew which one of them he had really meant it with? Sometimes she thought that he didn't even know.

Basic point, Brooke wanted Lucas. She thought Peyton wanted Lucas too. Currently, neither had him. But she was done with saying he was "fair game." That wasn't true. The days of the two girls fighting over him were gone, she was goign to make sure of that. The two of them had made their choices and now it was his turn. The only thing she could do was be his friend and let what was meant to be...be.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't even hear him walk up behind her. She realized she must have had a glazed expression on her face, so to avoid questioning, she quickly changed it and flashed a wide dimpled smile.

"Hey you! Pretty deep thoughts huh?" Lucas said as he sat down beside her. He would always know her, how could she think he wouldn't notice she was thinking hard?

"Kind of. But I'm glad you came! You should have heard Jamie! I swear, he is definitely Haley's kid." Brooke said proudly. She could see in Jamie already how much he was growing and how good of a man he would become. He was going to be strong and focused and brave. There was no doubt in saying that he was the perfect combination of Haley and Nathan. That was what made her love him even more.

"Yeah, he's a chatterbox. But he's also got Nate's skills. He can play some hard ball on the court, but me and Skillz are keeping him hyped through video games. He's a master at NBA Live!" Lucas said as he watched the little blond boy. Brooke smiled and looked between Lucas and Jamie. Maybe the reason Brooke felt so attached to Jamie already, seeing as she'd only really met him in the last few days, was because he reminded her so much of her friends. And Lucas. Not only did he have traits of Haley and Nathan in him, but it was like he was Lucas' twin. When she looked at him, it made her smile because all she could think about was how similar Lucas must have been when he was younger. The same blond hair and blue eyes, the same certain intelligence and knowledge they both had acquired at a young age. They both had the same intriguing personalities and curiosity in the world. Brooke had never known anyone like Lucas and when they were together, when she would just lie awake with him and listen to him breathe, she had always been angry that she didn't know him when he was younger. She'd always been jealous that Haley and Karen had known him his whole life. She'd always so badly wanted to turn back time and guide heself in the direction of a young Lucas because she sensed that if she had known him then, she wouldn't have felt so neglected and unloved. She would have turned out better than how she had been. Seeing Jamie was like seeing a little Lucas and it overwhelmed her. It made her think about how much she wanted a little Lucas in her life, a son.

But maybe that was getting too far ahead. She wasn't even sure if Lucas wanted to be with her anymore, how could she be thinking of having a baby with him?

Once again, she realized that she had gotten lost in her thoughts while Lucas was continuing their conversation. She decided to foucs on him and stop letting her mind drift off.

"So, you wanna ride the carousel?" She asked. Lucas looked at her suddenly like he expected her to know something, and then he realized she didn't know anything.

"I don't know, the last time I rode a carousel, it ended with me and Nicki having sex. Then I ran away to Charleston." Lucas said quitely. He wasn't looking at her, he was looking in the distance. He thought that maybe he would find something there, an explanation to the comments and questions he knew were about to be thrown his way.

"Oh." Brooke said shocked. Her face was blank for a moment, and then her hand flew to her mouth. At first Lucas thought she was going to vomit, and then he realized she was trying not to laugh.

She was defeated by the urge though, fits of laughter came escaping from her mouth and she was holding her chest thinking it would help her breathe. Lucas was surprised at first and looked at her dumbfounded. Then he started to laugh too. there they were, the two of them cracking up like they had never heard something so funny in their entire lives. It reminded him of old times.

After awhile, the laughter died down until it was just quiet chuckles. She looked straight into his eyes, still slightly giggling and said, "I'm actually kind of jealous. I always wanted to see what you would be like on a carousel." She cocked her eyebrow, put on a seductive smile like she had many times before, grabbed his hand, and started to drag him toward the carousel.

As they stepped on it, they stood on either side of Jamie's horse, and waited for the ride to start. And as the circular motion started, the kind that could make you dizzy but in the best way possible because you know how much fun your having and how everything else seems to fade away, Lucas grabbed Brooke's hand and smiled. They both stood there, just going in circles, a circle that seemed like it wouldn't stop, and for the first time in four years, the circle they were going in never seemed better.

AUTHOR'S NOTE!: This chapter was actaully supposed to be longer, I wanted the TRIC scenes in it, but I knew there was no better place to stop then where it did so I ended it. I'm not sure how long it'll be until an update, hopefully not long, but I really liked this chapter. The passage at the end, about the circles, didn't come out exactly how I wanted it, and if I can think of how to reword it, I'll probably edit it later or something, but for now it'll ahve to do. I thought the Brucas/Jamie scene was the cutest thing ever and I was actaully inspired to do it because of a spoiler I read for the 12 episode. But, I won't spill anything :) Also, WE'RE GETTING 6 MORE EPISODES FOR THE SEASON! Thank GOD the Writers Strike is over! I'm so happy! I needed good news to get over this Leyton crap in the episodes.

And to tell you about the almost chapter title, "The City Is At War" will be the title of the next chapter because of the TRIC scenes. It was goign to be in this chapter, but since I ended it with Brucas/Jamie, I needed to change the title.

Jessica :)