I have decided that I am not going to continue this.

I have tried over and over to write a good start out to it, but I never finish it.

If you would like to see it, I can just post it under this. Again. I am sorry.

Chapter 10: Goodbye Forever?

Waking up once more, Edd found himself with a pair of wires up his nose and he furrowed those eyebrows of his as he weakly sat up. Nurses were definitely on watch this time...especially after his friends explained what happened.

Looking around for someone...anyone..., there was only Kevin sitting and sleeping in the chair across the room. It was really dark out and the nurses must have let him stay. "K-Kevin.." He choked out and felt an aching pain in the back of his skull as he was trying to ignore it. As the lad woke up he did seem anxious, but also angry. Curious as to why his boyfriend was giving him such an angry look, Double D asked gingerly "Why do you look so upset?"

"Why didn't you tell me, Edd...?" The tone was dangerously serious.

Giving him another odd stare that was completely oblivious to what he meant, Edd reluctantly asked "What do you mean, Kevin?"

"Gonna play dumb? Alright, well want to explain to me why you never said that surgery was an option?" Crossing his arms he sat down by the chair closest to the bed.

Putting stray fingers to his lips in shock, the boy panicked somewhat as to what to tell him. "Well, I-"

"Do you not care that you're going to die?"

"Of course I care!" Edd shouted at him with his face contorted into anger, but then retracted and looked down at the bed where his hands now lay in his lap. His demeanor changed to sullen and he sighed. Lifting his head to explain, he stared at Kevin rather seriously. "If they do the surgery...there's a good chance that I may lose part of my memory. They said that they'll try all they can to make sure that doesn't happen, but there's no guarantees. I thought to myself that I'd rather keep the memory I had than lose any of it by chance, but I'm assuming after what happened earlier today there's no chance I can have my way anymore." Twiddling his thumbs now in nervousness he saw that Kevin's face was softening.

Understanding a bit more, Kevin lurched forward and reached for Edd's nervous hands and held them in his. "I can agree with that, but I'm not going to agree with losing you." Knowing where this was headed, he might as well just tell him how he feels. "First time I saw you...it was just a click and I knew that I wanted you. I spent most of my time thinking of ways in my head to woo you." Laughing at his words, he returned to his confession. "Every moment since you said yes to be my boyfriend, it has made me the happiest guy on the planet. As cliche as that sounds, it's true." He heard Edd laugh through the tubes in his nose. "The thing is, Eddward..., if there's any chance that you can survive..." Pausing he reworded his sentence "I don't mean to sound selfish, but I really want you to go into surgery...and if you lose memory of me, I'd spend every moment getting you to fall in love with me again."

Edd was surprised to say the least and that heart monitor was telling everything about how he felt. With his lower lip quivering he leaned forward and gave Kevin a long kiss on the forehead as he closed his eyes to let the tears leave his eyes. Pulling back he squeezed those hands of his and sniffed with a little difficulty. "Oh, Kevin..."

The boy was so conflicted on what to do. On one hand, surgery was scary...especially brain surgery. From all the books he's read while in the library during his spare time about the subject, statistically only 60% made it out of surgery without any aftereffects. On the other hand, he was was slowly losing his memory anyways and soon the cancer would catch up to him. He could feel it...

Taking this moment of Edd's silence to let him think about it, Kevin kissed Edd's hands lovingly and saw a nurse come in to check on the monitor since her pager went off to let her know that the heart-rate was up considerably high.

Charolette raised her eyebrow at him since he saw that his lips were still on the hands. Seeing him smile charmingly, she just rolled her eyes, checked the IV and then smiled at Edd who still looked like he was in thought. Leaving them alone she gave Kevin one last look and mouthed. "Don't keep him up too long."

Waving her off, she shut the door behind her and the redhead turned his gaze to his musing boyfriend. "Just sleep on it, babe." Knowing that Edd definitely needed sleep and he was heeding the nurses warning. Leaving his chair, Kevin leaned over and pushed back Edd's bangs to kiss his clammy forehead and went off to the chair he was sleeping in before.

You didn't have to tell the sick patient twice. Double D had no problem falling back asleep.

The next afternoon, Double D had managed to be awake, but when he looked around Kevin was already gone.

"Did he leave...?" The sick boy frowned as he laid back on his worn out pillow.

Hearing the door creak open, the redhead came in with balloons, stuffed animals, and cards. Grunting as he did so.

"U-Um..." Edd scoffed at the amount he carried.

"Oh, you're awake?" Shuffling his body towards the large coffee table in the room he placed down everything and heaved a big sigh of relief as he stretched his back. Laughing at all the gifts he leisurely walked to the bedside. "Well, the students at school finally got wind of why you were gone for so long. Eddy, Ed and I could only keep up the lies for so long." Scratching the back of his head feeling a bit guilty.

"Dear me..." Edd folded his hands in his lap and looked at all the gifts. "I never knew so many people cared."

Nodding, Kevin went to go get the cards first. "Yeah, well...you'd never guess how many of this was from the teachers." He made an impressed face.

Taking the cards from him he read all the names on the back. "No kidding..." He started to open a few of them, slowly of course due to his lack of energy. Yawning, he only managed to open one up; it was from his Government teacher.

Noticing that his boyfriend was still very tired, he took some of the cards back. "You can always read these later on." He spoke as he put them back on the table.

"M'yeah..." Edd mumbled off as he laid back and flashed a small smile to Kevin.

It had been a few hours after the cards and Edd had to be taken for chemo treatment.

Kevin had gotten into the horrible habit of biting his nails while his sick boyfriend was in his session. It was not only a way to pass time, but a way to cure his uneasiness. He noticed that the teddy bear was missing from the bed when his eyes lingered over to the neatly made mattress. "Oh no..." Rushing up from his seat in the room he went to go search for the lost stuffed animal. Looking behind the pillows, next to the bed, and finally under the bed he couldn't find it. On the verge of panicking, he heard a click from the door and saw two thin feet slide in with an IV from under the bed. Standing up quickly he saw Edd in the doorway, holding onto his IV and the bear in his other arm.

"...You took it with you?"

Not sure what he was talking about at first he followed Kevin's eyes to the bear and nodded. "But of course...weren't you the one who gave it to me?" Remembering what the nurses and everyone explained to him after his lapse of memory.

With a very sad smile, Kevin came around the bed to help Edd it so he could rest. Chemo was always taxing on him and he never wanted Kevin there to witness him during it. "Here you are...Let me help you take your slippers off." He offered as Edd was scooting up the bed.

"You don't have to, Kev..." Shyly spoke Double D.

"Nah it's okay." The redhead smiled at him genuinely and put the slippers down by the nightstand for safe keeping. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he laid his hand on top of Edd's. Not knowing if it was a good time to ask, he continued to anyway. "Have you given thought to what I asked last night?" Hoping he remembered.

It was only a matter of time before Kevin asked...Double D knew that for sure. Sighing to himself he rested his head back on the plump pillow (which Kevin must have done while he was gone...how sweet.) Nodding, he moved his hand to hold onto Kevin's. "I have, but...I don't know if I have made up my mind just yet." Laughing under his breath.

"That's fine." Relieved that he was at least considering it. "Just go ahead and sleep for now. I've got to go home. The nurses will call me if you need anything. I asked them to." Smiling at his achievement and knowing it would make Double D feel safer.

"Thank you so much." He managed to mutter before going closing his eyes and falling asleep peacefully...

ANNNNNNND.

That's all I've got for you guys.

YOU CAN DECIDE WHETHER HE AGREES TO GO INTO SURGERY OR NOT. ehuehasdkfjj