a/n: so...this is a day late. I'm on vacation so cut me some slack. I'm in the most beautiful mountains (Beech Mountain, specifically) in North Carolina. It's my favorite place to be. I only barely have internet connection in one spot in the house; one wrong move and the signal is lost. These next few chapters were written the fastest of my chapters. Yay! Hope you'll enjoy. How many people here are athletes? I'm having a pretty difficult yet easy time getting back into playing after my injury. Easy because my strokes are great; Difficult because I've had to completely reconstruct my serve and it ain't an easy thing to do. I've been told I'm never allowed to play competitive tennis. Well, fuck you Mr. High-And-Mighty-Orthopedist-Man, because I'm doing it with specially designed serves and overheads that won't disrupt my shoudler. It's not going to be easy and my shoulder still hurts, but as long as I avoid overhead motions and hit side-arm motions with extra spin instead, then I'll be good. Yep. So, let's see...life has been pretty good. Unfortunately, I have to leave my heaven here in Beech Mountain tomorrow at about 6 AM for a 12 hour drive back to Jersey. Yipee! Back to intense tennis training and finally beginning to get ready for school. Hm, so I have a question for you all...

How many of you would like me to update on Wednesday night? **Grins as a very large number raise their hands** Really? So would all of you be willing to send me a review in exchange for this Wednesday update? **heads nod** Is that so? Well, in exchange for 25 reviews (that would put this story at 120 reviews), I will update with the next chapter on Wednesday night. And, from here on out, I will be updating with extra chapters midweek if I get 25 reviews after posting on my usual Friday/Saturday schedule! This is NOT a one time offer only, but please feel free to take advantage by submitting a review on Fanfiction (you know...pressing that little green button on the bottom of the screen...) and I promise to put these extra chapters up.

xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo

Edward's POV

It'd been two weeks since the day at the park, and I knew Bella and I were dancing around the question of what are we?

I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I wanted her to be more than that, but it would be too much too quickly. Everything seemed to be going perfectly between us, and I knew I was falling for her, fast and hard. I'd begun to realize that Bella had been exactly what I'd always been looking for. Who could blame me for wanting her to be more than just that to me? But it was still too soon, and who knew how she felt about me? Like I said, we still didn't even give our relationship a name yet.

I was sitting with her on the couch, and we were listening to a CD as she sat on my lap, her head leaning on my shoulder. I bent my head down and kissed her lips, and she returned my gesture. I smiled against her pillow-like lips and pulled back, my left hand on her jean clad thigh, playing out the current song as if she were my piano, while my right arm was wrapped around her back and my right fingers tapped out the single strand of notes that made up the melody on her side.

She giggled as she nuzzled into the side of my neck, placing a kiss there.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

She sat up, facing me with shock written on her face. I continued to play out the tune, more out of nervousness than feeling the nice music flowing through me now. The 'o' which her mouth had formed turned to a smile as she nodded and crashed her lips to mine. How she could be so accurate in that action was beyond me.

Three days later, we were in the same position, but in a very heated make out session.

I held her to me, keeping her settled in my lap, as I kissed her harder than I had before. Her fingers wound into my hair and tugged lightly on it as I began moving us so that she was lying on her back on the couch and I was above her. My body pressed against her soft one and I brushed my tongue along her lower lip, taking it into my mouth and then releasing it as she opened her mouth to me. I let my tongue enter the wet cavern of her mouth and happily slid it along the surfaces within.

She moaned happily and I continued to explore, memorizing each plane as I went. I supported most of my weight on my forearms as I tried to keep from crushing her, but she continued to pull my body down to hers. I finally allowed more weight to be supported by her, as my arms began to shake. She took it as an advantage to pull all of my weight down upon her.

My tongue slid along hers as I too enjoyed the new found feeling of her body pressed so tightly to mine, but decided to flip us over so that it was her nonexistent weight that I had upon me and not the other way around. She didn't seem to mind at all as her hands began to roam down my chest. I felt one button being popped open and froze suddenly. I put my hands over hers, stopping her. She pulled her lips away, looking up at me, confusion written on her face. I pecked her lips three times, once again returning to what was chaste and safe, and carefully moved her off of me.

She sat there, confused, as I stood. "I need to go, Bella. I'll call you later, okay?"

She didn't reply as she just continued to look confused. I sighed, walking out of the apartment and upstairs to my own. As soon as I got inside, I took a seat on my couch and let my head fall forward into my hands, knowing that by just leaving like that, I had probably made the biggest mistake of my life.

Bella's POV

Did he not…want me? He'd been pressed up against me, and I could feel the bulge in his pants against my leg. Had I imagined that? I could feel the first tears slip down my cheek as I just sat there, confused. Over the short weeks we'd been together, he'd always stopped anything physical between us. Always. He must not have wanted me.

A sob broke free from my throat and I could feel the tears sliding down as I removed my glasses from my face and placed them on the table next to the couch. I turned so my face was in the pillow and let my tears come out as I reached for my phone and called Rose. She'd make me feel better. If Alice and Edward weren't related, I would have called Alice, too.

"Hello?"

"Rose," I sobbed.

"Oh, Bella, what's wrong?" she asked, panicking.

"I…I…and he…" I hiccupped. Wow, an English major and all you can say is four words, two of them the same word, and that wasn't even a sentence.

"Sweetie, are you at home?"

"Mhm."

"I'll be over in a few minutes, alright?"

"'Kay," I replied, another sob breaking forth.

"Bella, is this about Edward?"

I sobbed again, much louder than before. "I…wanted to…but he…he just left." Rosalie would know what I was talking about. We'd had a discussion about it a few days ago. I told her I knew that I wanted to be with Edward, that I knew he was the right guy, at least for now. I was ready, and even if we didn't go all the way, I wanted to at least go somewhere beyond the point he'd always stopped us at.

Is there something wrong with me?

I shook my head at myself. Why did I even have to ask that? I knew that a lot was wrong with me. I was blind! That was a huge problem in and of itself!

He'd asked me to be his girlfriend just a few days ago, and then he doesn't want to do anything but kiss. We'd been together every free minute of the past two and a half weeks, and it was fucking scary as I realized that maybe he didn't really want me the way I wanted him. I sobbed harder, realizing that I was falling for him, hard and fast, and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep him.

I prayed that either the pillow muffled my cries well, or that Edward was not in his apartment, hearing me being weak.

It was taking Rosalie a long time to get here, and as my cries continued, I went to shower, hoping to get rid of the stupid tears that were still sliding down my face. I picked up my glasses, putting them back on and walked into my bathroom, stumbling and still crying silently. I swallowed hard as I turned the water on, not pulling back fast enough and getting sprayed with water. Perfect. Just. Fucking. Perfect.

I threw my clothes off haphazardly, my glasses sitting on the counter, and then I stood under the warm spray, letting the water fall down my face, when I heard my apartment door open.

Edward's POV

Someone was pounding on my door, and then I heard Rosalie's voice saying over the pounding, "Open the goddamn door Cullen or so help me I will break it down!"

I stood up and opened it, Rosalie's hand knocking me in the chest harshly.

"Ouch," I complained, rubbing the now sore spot.

"Take it like a man, Cullen," she spat icily. I sighed, closing the door behind her as she marched in angrily. She stood in the center of my living room, tapping the toe of her stilettos. "I'm waiting for an explanation of why I got a call from Bella during which she could hardly speak she was sobbing so hard."

I groaned loudly, falling down onto the couch again and returning to my position, my head in my hands. Her toe was still tapping. I could hear the shower running in Bella's apartment, and at least it was better than hearing her cry.

"I know she's been crying."

That just made Rosalie tap her shoe faster. "And you didn't do anything about it?"

I shook my head. "Rose, I just…I've never…I don't know if I can do that," I confessed.

"You were her first damn kiss. You would be her first in this too. It's not like she's going to compare. Now get your goddamn ass down there and at least apologize and make up with her."

I shook my head. "I want to be with her…that way. It's just, dammit, I'm afraid, okay? She means so much to me, she's the only girl I would ever want to be with…that way. I just, I don't know what's even stopping me." I stood, pinching the bridge of my nose, and began pacing. "She likes me for me, and that's so amazing and incredible and absolutely perfect. I think I love her, and I think she's that one for me, but I just don't want anything to change between us. It's all going so great! And I don't want to hurt her, either."

Rosalie seemed to soften, but still spoke firmly. "Things have already changed, Edward. The second you walked out of that apartment, things changed. And you're hurting her right now. Alice told me about Tanya." I growled, hearing that name. "And I know how hard this is for you, but you have to understand that Bella doesn't ever believe she's enough for anyone. She only reaches her own expectations in her mind, and she believes she falls short of everyone else's, where as, in truth, she far exceeds what we expect from her. But this, this probably just killed everything she's built up since the two of you got together.

"She only ever went out with a guy once before you, and that ended in the most deplorable manner ever. She's been afraid, and she's facing those fears to be with you. Please, just go to her. You don't have to do anything, but let her know you want her, that she shouldn't be afraid to be with you in any way."

I nodded my head, hearing her words and wiping away the one tear that fell from my eye. "Thanks, Rose."

"Anytime, Edward, although if I have to have this talk with you again, I will personally beat your ass through this floor."

"Gotcha."

The both of us walked out of the apartment and then Rosalie left while I opened the door to Bella's apartment. I walked in, hearing the shower still running. I walked through the living room and into Bella's bedroom which I'd only seen twice before, and then made my way into the bathroom. Her beautiful body was shaking behind the glass, fogged over by the steam.

My heart broke as I realized she was still crying, just silently now. I knew what I was going to do, because I knew it was right, that Bella was the right woman, and that I wanted this, right now.

I stripped off my shirt, jeans, boxers, socks, and shoes. Bella either couldn't hear me or was ignoring me, because she never turned toward me or said a word. I saw her glasses were on the counter, and smiled as I realized I might just get the chance to see those brown orbs which I'd only seen once before. I might just have two of my desires fulfilled.

I pulled open the door to the shower and Bella immediately covered herself.

"Rose, what the hell are you—"

But before she could finish that question, I was inside, the door was shut, and I had spun her around to face me, crashing my lips down on hers. She froze in my arms, unresponsive to the kiss. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her more firmly, holding her to me with my arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Finally, her lips began to loosen, moving along with mine in the way I knew they were meant to do.

I placed my hands up on her shoulders, sliding them down her arms slowly until I reached her small, delicate hands. I intertwined our fingers, and she gave my hand a squeeze as I pulled the both of them up to my neck. Releasing them, I returned to my previous position as her fingers wound into my hair. Her heated flesh was pressed against mine, and it was a sinful pleasure that I knew I would never be able to live without again.

Finally, she pulled back, covering herself once again as she turned her back to me. I looked at her adorable, perky ass that went well with the cute, perky breasts I'd gotten just a small peak of when we'd kissed.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" Bella asked me in a voice that broke my heart again.

"Bella, I want to be here…here with you. I'm so sorry. I had to leave. I don't want to hurt you, but it seems I'm doing a crappy job of not hurting you emotionally," I admitted and apologized as I reached to take her hand. The second my fingers touched hers, she flinched away. I was glad she couldn't see the hurt on my face at that point, and then I felt even guiltier than I already had for thinking that.

"You just walked out," she whispered.

"I'm afraid," I reluctantly admitted. "I've never been with anyone before. You weren't my first kiss, Bella, but you would be my first for everything else. I want you to be my first for everything else. I'm just…scared."

"You don't want me," she whispered, and I knew I wasn't supposed to hear that, but I did, and suddenly I felt angry.

I reached out and grabbed her hips, spinning her around and holding her against me despite her protests. She hid her face from me in her wet hair, and I brushed it back to see the lovely face of the woman I was falling for. "Do you feel that?" I asked her, knowing it was impossible not to.

I watched as that unique, deep red blush spread across her cheeks. "Yes," she mumbled.

I bent and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Bella, I want you so much it hurts, but I told you…I'm so afraid of doing something wrong, of hurting you, of changing things."

She finally looked up at me, her beautiful, deep brown chocolate eyes glowing as she looked into my face. It felt as though she could really see me at that moment. Then she smirked. "Change is inevitable, Edward, except from a vending machine."

I chuckled. Leave it to Bella to break this tension with a little joke. I leaned down and kissed her thoroughly, and she responded instantly this time. We continued to kiss under the steady stream of water in the shower, my hands moving lower with each moment that passed.

"Fuck," we both cursed at the same time as the previously hot water suddenly turned ice cold. I pushed the door opened and pulled us both out of the shower, nearly tripping backwards on the way out. I grabbed her towel off of the bar on the wall and dried her slowly, taking my time to massage her wet skin. The second I'd dried her face, she reached out toward the bathroom counter, feeling along it until she touched her glasses. Just as she was about to grab them, my hand shot out and took them.

"Hey!" she protested, scowling.

"Please, Bella," I begged.

She frowned, facing the floor and away from me. "I…Edward, I can't. I need them. My eyes…they aren't…normal."

I chuckled. "I saw them that first day I met you, and I was captured by them and their magnificence. I saw them in the shower, and I've never seen anything more beautiful if you didn't include the rest of your body. I love your eyes, Bella. Please, let me see them. I want to see them."

She shook her head, droplets spraying from her hair. During this mild argument, I'd begun to dry myself quickly, and was finally finished. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her body against mine. She tucked her face into my bare chest, and I bent my head to her ear.

"Please, Bella," I begged again. "I want to see your eyes as I make love to you."