A/N: Still don't own Twilight. Song in the beginning is called "Secret Smile" by SEMISONIC.

Chapter 9: Cry

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I'm losing, I'm bluesing
But you can save me from madness

So save me I'm waiting
I'm needing, hear me pleading
And soothe me, improve me
I'm grieving, I'm barely believing now, now

Chapter's Summary: Jasper stayed the night with Bella but she wakes up alone. Charlie asks questions and Alice wants to clear things up a bit.

BPOV

The sun beat down from the cloudless sky, I could feel the heat on my skin and it took me a couple of moments to adjust to the brightness. A wide grin spread across my face as I took in the sign around me. I stood in the beautiful meadow Edward showed me last year. I ignored the pain in my chest at the thought of him and bent down to pick some flowers. Breathing in the heavenly scent I smiled down at the little purple flower in my hands.

I felt his presence even before I heard his unhurried steps behind me. He strolled lazily over to me, a small smile played on his lips. He looked incredibly good in a tight black v-neck shirt and worn jeans that hung low on his hips, clinging to his ass in all the right ways. He crouched down besides me and began to pluck a few flowers, before braiding them into a crown. His honey blond hair fell into his eyes, casting a long shadow across his face. The rest of his exposed skin sparkled in the sunlight, and for the first time in my life I realized just how beautiful he was. Jasper looked up at me, his eyes like liquid gold burning into my own. He reached up and placed the flower crown on my head, a sly smile crossed his lips and I caught the mischievous look in his eyes just before he flung himself at me.

A startled laugh escaped my lips as he pressed me into the grass and hovered over me. His eyes sparkled and I found myself unable to look away as he leaned down. My gaze slipped lower, landing on his lush lips and I waited in anticipation.

"Jasper." I moaned, our breaths mingling in the small space between us.

Just before our lips connected I felt a shift in the air around us. Jasper was on his feet in a flash, pulling me with him.

"Don't move." he breathed against my ear.

Shuddering I let my gaze wander around the treetops at the other end of the meadow where a large flock of birds broke out of the forest. Dark clouds made their way from the woods to the meadow, covering the sun and sucking all the light from the clearing. I shivered in Jasper's arms, leaning back against his chest. I wanted to run away, wanted to scream at Jasper to take me away but no sounds came out of my mouth.

A dark figure emerged from the woods directly across from us, walking slowly towards us. I could make out the vibrant red eyes that stared right at me. Fear rippled through me and I clawed desperately at Jasper's arms. Why didn't he move? Why couldn't I move? The vampire continued it's slow movements towards us, baring its teeth in an evil sneer.

"Oh Bella, you do smell mouth-watering." it drawled in a familiar southern accent.

I spun around to look up at Jasper, but he wasn't my Jasper anymore. His eyes were red, his expression hard and unreadable as he held me firmly at my upper arms. His gaze fixed on the other vampire as he spun me around again, my back pressed against his chest. I could not escape his death grip so I faced the stranger. The face was slowly coming into view and I saw that it was a female vampire. She was gorgeous. Her long dark hair flowed around her shoulders in beautiful curls. I knew her name despite never seeing her.

"Maria.." I breathed weakly.

She chuckled, cocking her head to the side before closing her eyes. She took a deep breath. When her eyes snapped open again they were pitch black. With a last wide spreaded grin she pounced and launched herself at me.

I woke with a start. My heart pounding wildly in my chest. I drew in a shaky breath and looked around my room, noticing that I was alone. Untangling my blanket and smoothing out my pillow I let myself fall back into the cushions. Jasper wasn't here anymore. I must have fallen asleep in the middle of our conversation. The last thing I remembered was talking about his journals and why he started writing them. We had slowly broached the topic of pre-Cullen Jasper. Meaning pre-vegetarian Jasper to be exact. He told me about the woman that turned him into a vampire. I could tell by his sour expression and the bitterness in his voice that he despised that vampire. He spat her name like it burned him. Maria. The woman that appeared in my dream. I shuddered thinking back to the way she looked at me. Maybe that wasn't the best topic before going to bed.

I sat up in my bed and tried really hard to remember our conversation about her. Jasper mentioned two other vampires... Peter and a girl, his mate. I couldn't remember her name but I knew that they meant the world to Jasper. I've never seen him so relaxed, so content in his skin, not even around Alice.

Reaching over I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and turned it on. It had to be quite early, my alarm hadn't gone of yet, so not time to get up yet. Glancing at the little clock at the top of the screen I read: 6:02 am. Enough time to get dressed, have a little snack and go over to the Cullen's before school. I didn't hold it against Jasper that he had left. It was nice of him to stay with me as long as I was awake and go as soon as I fell asleep. Unlike my ex-boyfriend who crept around my bedroom long before we started dating.

I crawled out of my bed and picked up my favourite pair of jeans from my dresser, sniffing my armpits I decided to take a quick shower. Snatching a clean pair of panties, the matching bra and a simple long sleeved shirt, I walked out of my bedroom and over to the bathroom. I felt myself relax as soon as the hot water sprayed across my skin. Edward had got me pretty good. My arms were covered in dark bruises and I felt sore in a lot of places. I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel and stepped out of the shower. The bruises on my neck looked rather harmless compared to the ones on my arms but I still needed to cover them. If you looked closely you could actually make out Edwards slim fingers where they pressed into my flesh. I got dressed and pulled my hair into a high ponytail. Sighing, I grabbed my concealer and powder. I normally didn't wear make up, especially not to school but there was no helping it now. Satisfied with the outcome I let my hair down again and brushed it out. When I let it fall over my shoulder nobody would notice anything. I smiled at myself in the mirror. Yeah that would work.

I took my backpack and made my way down. Skipping the last steps I noticed that Charlie wasn't home yet. Good. I strolled over to the kitchen and grabbed a pop tart, putting it in the toaster. Pulling out the OJ I poured myself a glass and sat down on the counter, waiting for my pop tart to finish toasting. Just when I took the last sip of juice I heard a car pull up. Oh no. I hopped from the counter and ran over to the window.

"Shit.." I cursed under my breath. Charlie was home.

The door opened and Charlie walked in, hanging up his jacket and holster. He spun around at the sound of the toaster. I cringed when his eyes landed on me.

"Good god, Bella you scared me. Good thing I've hung up the holster already." he chuckled awkwardly. "Whatcha doing down here?" He eyed the empty glass in my hand and the pop tart in the toaster.

"Yeah I.. I'm just having a little breakfast." I stammered, looking at the floor.

"At 6:23 in the morning? On a Friday?" he glanced at the clock over the stove furrowing his brow. I snatched my pop tart out of the toaster and took a bite, waving it at him.

"Yeah.. woke up early, couldn't go back to sleep." I shrugged, chewing on the hot pastry.

He took a couple of steps into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I could see that he was exhausted. He called yesterday around 9 pm telling me that he'd sleep at the station and come home in the morning but judging on the big circles under his eyes he hadn't slept, or at least not very well.

"You know Bells, I met Mr. Weber yesterday, really nice guy. Thought I'd thank him for all the times they took you in over the last month." he rubbed his eyes, frowning at his hands on the table before continuing. "Thing is, he said you hadn't visited since last summer."

I could feel the colour drain from my face, I felt like fainting and grabbed the counter top for support. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and opened my mouth.

"Dad.." I squeaked out.

He looked up at me and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. Charlie suddenly looked his age, his expression tired and worn out. He wasn't angry and that's what scared me. I've never seen my dad look so frustrated. He ran a hand over his face, scrunching his brow and looking up at the ceiling.

"Bella, I know you haven't been spending the nights at Angela's." he sighed before he carrying on "I want you to answer my next questions truthfully. Okay? I'm not angry and I promise not to shout, just be honest, please?!" he looked at me with a pleading expression and I nodded.

He squared his shoulders, took a deep calming breath and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Is there a boy involved?"

All the tension suddenly disappeared and I let out a huff of air, breathing out an unsure laugh. Just when I wanted to say no my phone buzzed in my pocket. I chose to ignore it but it kept buzzing with incoming texts. I shot my dad an apologetic smile and flipped my phone open.

"Tell him yes."

"Trust me."

"It's the easiest way."

"And meet me after school! A."

I read the last message with a small smile. That pixie sure came in handy sometimes. I made the decision to thank her later today and instantly received another text from her.

"No problem sweetie. A."

Charlie grunted in disapproval and I shifted my attention back to him.

"Sorry,.." I smiled at him when he gave me a curt nod, "So... yes... there is a boy."
He groaned placing his face in his hands. I felt bad lying to him. Technically there was no boy. Sure thing there was Jasper. But he only came back yesterday.. and I certainly wouldn't call him a boy.

"You're dating him?" he muttered into his palms.

"No.. I don't know." I felt the truth of the words and it hurt. When Jasper told me that mates didn't necessarily fall in love with each other I could barely hide my disappointment and simply shrugged it off. We didn't even talk about the whole Alice dilemma. Maybe that's why she wanted to meet me after school. Urgh... I dreaded the conversation I was sure we were going to have.

"Okay.. but you've been spending time at his place. When you told me you'd be at Angela's, right?"

I nodded and watched as Charlie began to pinch the bridge of his nose. That's usually a sign for the end of our conversation and his desperate need for a beer but seeing as it was not even 7 am I doubted that he'd take the beer right now.

"Alright Bells, you're 18, there's barely anything I can do about this right now, just please, please promise me one thing." I could see the plea in his eyes and nodded eagerly, I wanted nothing more than to end this awkward conversation here and now. "Just be.. be careful, alright? Both of you.. I mean.. you know?" he stuttered and blushed crimson.

I took a moment to ponder his request and when the meaning finally sunk in I blushed just as furiously as Charlie.

"Oh my gosh.. Dad!" I screeched.

"I know Bella, please. Just promise me this one thing and I'll go to bed. God knows I need some sleep right now."

"Okay, okay!" I all but screamed. "I promise!"

I couldn't believe my dad actually asked that of me. Renee sure, but Charlie? No way in hell.

He held up his hands and made his way over to me.

"And don't lie to me again, 'kay?"

"'kay."

Kissing the top of my head he smiled down at me and left the kitchen. I finished my pop tart, put on my winter jacket and grabbed my backpack. It was still early but I wouldn't make it to the Cullen's before school anymore. I sighed, wondering where Jasper was right now. The ache inside my chest was back and although I knew now that the strange pull I experienced was normal, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Maybe we should have spend more time talking about this than talking about my catatonic state after their departure and Jasper's trip back to Forks.

I hoped that my conversation with Alice would go well and started my truck. It roared to life and I drove off to school.

School finished only a few minutes ago but I practically sprinted across the parking lot to make it to my car. I swear to god, teenagers go wild on a Friday afternoon. Everyone was making plans for the weekend and tonight and the air was buzzing with sexual tension between my classmates. I had to wriggle my arm out of Eric's hold on me. He was determined to take me out this weekend and didn't take a no for an answer.

I should have known better than to run across the slippery parking lot. Just when I lost my balance a small arm snaked itself around my waist, steadying me.

"Hey there, you shouldn't be going so fast." Alice chuckled besides me.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god, I would have cracked my head open without you." I rubbed my side a bit where her arm caught me, feeling the tenderness from yesterday. "Please take me out of here before someone decides to drag me into a movie or something."

Alice let out a small laugh before looking over her shoulder. "The decision's already made but I could swoop you off your feet and run." she waggled her eyebrows at me, knowing full well that I hated to ride on her back.

I groaned when Jessica Stanley walked up to us. She took a double take when she saw Alice besides me.

"Oh Alice, I didn't know you're back?" she squeaked.

Alice gave her a fake smile and responded in a sweet voice, "I'm just visiting Bella for the weekend."

I saw Jessica recoil. I've never understood why the Cullen's had that strange effect on some people.

"You could have just said that." she scolded me, "However, have fun. See you Monday?"

I gave her a small smile and nodded. She left without another word, casting a glance over her shoulder every thee steps.

"Thanks for that."

Alice nudged me with her elbow, a sly smile on her lips.

"No problem, let's get out of here."

We drove in complete silence, snaking our way up the Cullen's driveway. It's only been a day but she already worked miracles on the house. It was cleaned up, the electricity was working and the heaters were on. I nodded over to the empty space in the living room.

"Where's the piano?"

A small frown appeared on Alice face and she shrugged.

"When I arrived it lay in shreds on the ground. I suppose Edward and Jasper had a little fight before they continued it in the woods."

I shivered at the thought of them fighting.

Alice sat down in the middle of the big couch and patted the spot next to her, inviting me to sit down.

"Thanks again, for the texts I mean."

"So it went well." she smiled.

"Yeah," I shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable. I didn't want to broach the subject but at the same time I wanted to know all about her and Jasper.

"Bella, relax." she patted my knee affectionately before telling me her story.

"Jasper and I, we're not together anymore. He left me a few weeks after your birthday but it was over a lot earlier. I tried to hold on, desperately clutching to everything we had. It didn't work out." she shrugged, "Sometimes we want things so bad that we don't see clearly anymore. I loved Jazz since the first vision I had of him." she smiled sadly, rubbing my knee all the while.

"Jasper was on the verge of breaking when we met. He felt something from me, something he hadn't felt in a while. Hope. We bonded over it. I tried to fix him without realizing that he didn't need to be fixed."

I watched her face intently, venom tears pooled in her eyes and a smile pulled at the edges of her lips.

"I saw you coming into our lives a few years ago. I didn't know how or when but I saw that you would change all of us. Some for the better, some for the worse. You touched our hearts, you really did."

"Things changed when I had the first vision of you and Jasper. It was in Phoenix just before you left to safe your mom. Jasper told you you're worth it."

I smiled at the memory.

"I didn't know that you were mates back then. I only saw that you two could become really good friends. Maybe more. When we came back, Edward saw one of those visions in my head. He wanted to keep you away from Jasper from that point. He even considered leaving you. I talked him out of it. You were a part of our family already."

"However, things changed the moment you cut your finger. I saw that if you were changed Jasper and you would become a couple pretty fast. You would fall in love and eventually leave us."

I was utterly shocked at her revelation. She squeezed my knee and continued in a low voice.

"Edward saw the vision and flung you into the table. He was furious, beyond control already. He wanted to drain you but he also wanted to keep you away from Jasper. He was conflicted but also determined."

Alice shook her head, her tone serious and dark.

"I should have known back then that his intentions weren't pure anymore. He persuaded us to leave. Fully intending on coming back to claim you. But Edward is smart. He didn't make the decision until he came back to Forks with me."

She began sobbing at this point.

"I'm so sorry Bella. It's all my fault. He was in my head, saw all the visions I had. He saw you going into Jasper's study, saw Jasper going back to Forks. You two would have met, fallen in love. So we ran. I should convince you to stay away from our house and he should take Jasper back home. I realized too late that he didn't want to take Jasper back. He wanted him out of the way."

I hardly understood her anymore, patting her back awkwardly, trying to sooth her.

"I tried to get it right, I'm so sorry. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Edward in the woods with you. He was so far gone. Making decision he would surely regret. Jasper reaction only confirmed my visions. You are meant to be together."

I tried to contemplate everything she just told me, tried to put the pieces together.

"But you told me to stay away from him. That he was dangerous." I cocked my head to the side.

"I did and he was. At that moment he wasn't aware of your bond. He was furious with me and Edward. I wasn't sure what would happen and if you got caught in the crossfire Jasper would have been devastated. And he wouldn't have known why. I'm sorry, please forgive me"

I hugged her, kissing her forehead and smiled at her. Of course I would forgive her. She was my best friend and I understood where she was coming from. If I had a man like Jasper by my side I would hold onto him for dear life.

We talked for the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening when Charlie called to ask if I would be home for dinner or if he should order a pizza. I said yes to both, not feeling like cooking. There was too much for me to ponder. Alice had given me a book about vampires. A real book this time. Asked me to hide it and give it back as soon as I could. The author was a friend of Carlisle who studied everything involving his kind. This one was about the phenomena of mates and the romantic bonds between vampires in general.

That night I stayed up to read the book until I fell asleep crying. My ache for Jasper and the hurt of his rejection following me into my dreams.

Author's Note:

I'm really thankful for all the feedback, I love you guys! You are the best! So a guest reviewer pointed out that the chapters are too short.. kinda?! I don't know I might misinterpreted something. However I tried a longer chapter this time, tell me if you like it. Before I started the fanfic I read about the "perfect" length of a fanfic chapter and it said between 2000 and 3000 words.

Next: Jasper's POV