Birthday Present: Chapter Nine
O.W.L.s were coming faster than Hermione had expected. It resulted in a night of sheer panic on her part and then a ridiculous amount of time studying. Visiting Fred became more of a weekend treat (And sometimes wasn't a treat at all with the flying lessons they both insisted she needed). Thankfully her friends didn't notice the difference in her schedule, they had assumed she spent all her time in the library anyway.
Her marks in class were already showing improvement and she was hoping it would all be enough. She felt like she'd messed up, last year she'd began studying in early April. This time around the thought hadn't even crossed her mind until march. She'd lost a months' time because of a boy, of all things, and couldn't help but feel like she was now drowning in information.
Not to mention she missed Fred every day, Hermione had gotten so used to seeing him four or five times a week. Now it had become once or twice if she was lucky.
Not that she would ever admit it, but she'd grown used to sleeping in the shirt he'd given her, every night. It smelled like his apartment and she could just imagine him in it when he was younger over holiday playing quidditch.
Embarrassingly enough one morning Lavender noticed.
"What?" Hermione asked the blonde still a bit dazed from having just woken up.
"Well I've never seen you with that shirt before and suddenly you wear it every night, where did it come from?"
Parvati was out of the room and she thanked Merlin. That girl could see through every lie, but Lav wouldn't bat an eye at her fib.
"Oh I told my parents I was missing home, so they sent me this" she made up with pink cheeks "I used to sleep in it before I came to Hogwarts, it was my dads in his twenties"
Lavender eyed her up and down, the shirt came a little below her arse. "He must be a tiny thing"
"In his twenties he was" she said quickly pulling it off "but mums cooking eventually filled him out"
The other girl gave a small laugh, but still looked a bit wary. Perhaps she had underestimated her.
"Oh come on Hermione, you've been alone in the library all week. Don't you want any company?" Ron asked through a mouthful of his dinner.
She glared at him across the table, he was making her visits to see Fred increasingly difficult. He always tried to come with her to the library, which meant Harry was constantly being dragged along to avoid any 'funny business'. Usually she could get away Saturday nights when Gryffindor had qudditch practice, but the Hufflepuff captain had begged Harry for the field tonight.
"Can't blame them" Harry had told her when he explained why they no longer had practice that night "Ravenclaw demolished Slyhterin, and Hufflepuff was going to have a hard time beating them before"
She had no sympathy for the hufflepuff team. Especially now that they were getting in the way of her weekend trips.
"You came with me Wednesday night" she pointed out, trying to keep the malice from her tone.
"Yeah but we focused a lot on Herbology and I need more help in Charms" It was true, she'd taken a look at the boys grades immediately after the 'Lavender Fiasco' and found him failing the class, his grade still hadn't fully recovered.
"How about I help you with charms Monday night?" She offered, spooning only a little bit of peas onto her plate. Fred usually kept some leftovers for her, and as impossible as it seemed, she enjoyed his food much more than Hogwarts.
"Monday we have practice" Harry said sheepishly "It's the only time I could get"
"Tuesday then"
"We have a test in Charms on Tuesday" Ron groaned, and she was briefly surprised he'd remembered it.
"Tomorrow morning!" she screeched. It had been a long week without Fred, and she needed to go tonight.
"Why can't we tonight!" Ron fumed back at her.
"I don't want to tonight" she yelled.
"You're the one that's always telling me not to procrastinate!" he shot back.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Harry sliding down the bench towards Ginny.
"Because you shouldn't!"
"That's what you're trying to do right now" The redhead screamed and gripped the table, looking like he was about to stand.
"I'm not procrastinating" she said leaning over him. "I spend every night studying for the bloody o.w.l.s and I plan to spend tonight making sure I pass my Potions test on Monday because I. don't. want. To. Procrastinate." Hermione said punctuating every word.
He had his mouth gaping like a fish as she stood and very quietly said "I'm going to go find a quiet place to study by myself. Tomorrow morning, after breakfast, we can go to the library to study if you still want to" Then she turned on her heel and left the dining hall, doing her best to ignore the stares.
"Ready?"
No. She was most certainly not ready. She already had a knot in her stomach from the argument with Ron. All the lying to one of her best friends was starting to get to her.
But she couldn't say all of that because she'd already told Fred when he asked that she was fine. She'd also said that she was ready to fly over muggle London tonight. Then she had dragged the both of them to a deserted area in a park to lift off. There was no going back. He insisted that the next time she flew it would have to be a muggle.
"You need to force yourself to go higher and not be scared" he'd told her last weekend when they discussed this. "There are a lot of places where you'll have to break the clouds just to make sure no muggles see you. London is one of them"
At the time she'd nodded and told him that sounded like it would be best. But now her phobia was rearing up in her stomach combining with the anger she still carried from dinner and she felt like she might be sick.
Telling him she didn't want to do it was certainly not an option. She was the Gryffindor princess, not to mention best friends with Harry Potter, and dating Weasley twin for fuck's sake.
The thought of running passed through her mind. Fred didn't know London well enough to follow her, and she was positive she could make it back to the castle on her own. Or she could apparate away. She was licensed, but that would definitely alert the ministry and the school of her absence.
A hundred other (insane) ideas to get out of this situation bounced through her head as she bit her lip and stared at the broom.
"Are you sure you're okay?" The witch looked up. Fred had the same caring look on his face as when she first came into his apartment tonight. Except this time she didn't have all the adrenalin and anger pent up from a fresh argument, and she could actually appreciate it.
Her shoulders relaxed, and she sighed. The thoughts of escape left and were replaced by a blush that spread through her cheeks. Looking at him made all the ideas come into the light, and they now seemed as childish as they really were.
"I don't think I'm ready to fly over London yet"
He gave her a reproachful look "I know its scary for you, but Hermione you need to practice on every level" She could see his body stiffen and hear his next few words waver "The deatheaters aren't going to give you and easy time."
"I know," she said taking a step forward so her legs bumped into the floating broom. "And I promise you I will soon. Before Summer is here I'll have flown over London. Right now though I am anxious and jittery because I've only been doing this for a month, and it doesn't help that I have exams coming up to stress me further"
His face fell from a look of worry to apologetic in seconds.
"I'm sorry, Love. I didn't realize I was pushing you too fast" He said hand reaching up to push the curls away from her face. "I've been worrying so much about the shop, your lessons, and just keeping this" the wizard gestured between them "a secret from mum, that I forgot you have things on your own plate as well"
"You don't need to apologize I do it too,"
He opened his mouth to protest but she only continued "Don't think I don't realize when you cancel plans last minute because I came to see you without telling you beforehand."
"Do you want to go back to the shop then?" he asked picking the broom up and leaning it over his shoulder to walk.
"No I want to fly tonight" she insisted "Just not here"
"Where then?"
She racked her brain for a place. She really wanted somewhere they hadn't gone flying before, but it also had to be somewhere they wouldn't be seen or recognized.
"Can you apparate someplace that you've never been before" she said staring up at him expectantly as her hands reached down to check the front and rear pockets of her muggle jeans.
"If I see a photo…" He trailed as she pulled a paper out of her pants and unfolded it.
She held it out and he took it carefully. The photograph was beaten to hell and back, and clearly muggle. Hermione was in it, but a much younger, dirtier Hermione. In fact both she and the two adults in the picture looked as though they hadn't bathed in days, but they had grins streatching across their faces, regardless.
"My mum and dad went camping a lot before I was born. Back when they were both in school it was easy to get away for a weekend. Once I came along they sort of stopped" she said explaining his unasked question "But they managed to take me on a two week trip to the Forest of Dean before I came to your house for the world cup"
He looked at the scenery then. You couldn't watch the branches sway, or the sunlight dance on the ground like you could in wizard photos, but it was gorgeous all the same.
"Can you do it" she said and bit her lip, her eyes the most expectant thing in the world.
"Yeah" he assured grabbing hold of her hand, partially to side along apparate her and partially for comfort. He'd never actually gone somewhere just from a photo, but George had told him before that it was easy enough. Still, Hermione was the last person he wanted to splinch, so he squeezed her fingers and silently asked Godric to help him out.
"Harry" Ron hissed, shaking his best friend rougher than he really needed to.
The chosen one considered hexing his friend across the room and placing a freezing charm around his curtains, but then the thought of everything he was currently keeping hidden from Ron flashed through his mind and he sat up. He better be a lot nicer to Ron before everything blew up in their faces. It wouldn't soften the blow, but it would keep it from being fatal.
"It's the middle of the night" he groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Unless someone is dying, you ought to have…"
"Its Hermione" his friend snapped, cutting him off. "The cloak and map are still missing, which means she's still out and about the castle at night."
"Or" Harry suggested "It means she got held up a little late, and didn't want to wake us, so she has them both in her own dormitory"
"But what if she's in trouble" The older boy pressed "Do you want to risk it"
He frowned at his friends dismay. He'd known early on that Ron was interested in Hermione, and that she did not reciprocate, but he might have misjudged the level of interest his friend truly held.
"Hermione," he began slowly, "is a sixteen year old witch, and has more brains than some of the professors here. Even if this wasn't something she did regularly, I wouldn't worry about her getting in trouble."
The youngest Weasley son took a step back from the bed and seemed to falter "But that's it Harry, she's doing this a lot. Why is she constantly sneaking off, where is she going. She can't be spending all this time in the library."
"Ron, she's not being hurt, so I honestly don't think it's any of our business."
The redhead moved back towards his bed, slightly put off, but not with a changed mind.
"Yeah," he mumbled with little promise behind the word "G'night mate, sorry I woke you"
"Night" he said back, watching the curtains close around his best friends bed.
Hermione stepped off the broom, with a smile on her face. It was an usually cold night, and her breath came out in clouds, but she hardly noticed it. Every other part of her was too distracted by the sights surrounding her. Tall trees stretched over her, only allowing in slivers of moonlight. Leaves long dead molded into the soft ground under her feet and new ones grew on braches surrounding her head. It was exactly as she had remembered. If she breathed in hard enough, she swore she could still smell her dad's soap bar.
"You didn't keep your eyes shut this time" Fred commented as she took steps away from the broom to further examine the clearing.
"It was too nice a view to do that" she whispered not looking at him.
"I can't argue with that" he said and glanced at his watch, his eyebrows rising.
I want to stay here again, she thought, distantly hearing Fred tell her it was past midnight and he needed to take her to the castle soon, And if my parents can't come with me, he would be enough.
"Alight" she heaved "Let's go" Hermione swung her leg over the broom. There was none of her usual hesitation. This place made her feel invincible like a child again. Like she could climb to the very top of any of these trees and never fall.
Fred climbed on behind her, and she looked back with a questioning look.
"You control it this time," he commanded placing both his hands on the broom lower than hers. "I'll make sure you don't make a mistake."
She took one last long look at the clearing, before lifting her feet off the ground.
The next morning came with a cocktail of joy, and anxiety. Her night had been amazing in the moment. It cleared her head of all her questions. She could see exactly what she needed to do, and it brought her closer to Fred. But with the sun came even more fear. She had to get to her parents now, but she was stuck in Hogwarts until summer, and even if she could get out the ministry would notice her magic showing up outside school.
Not to mention her craving got worse. She wanted to roll over to the sight of a lanky, freckled, red haired, prankster every morning. In fact each time she envisioned it they were in a tent. A small muggle triangle one, without even the room to stand.
Her mind was moving so fast all morning that she hardly caught Ron speaking to her at breakfast.
"Hmm?" she asked looking up at her boyfriend's youngest brother.
"I said I'm sorry for last night, and would like it if you'd let me go to study with you this morning" Ron recounted, flushing as scarlet as Gryffindor.
Her mind blanked a moment before she caught up to what he was saying. "Oh" she exclaimed. After her fly around, the argument with Ron had dropped from her mind "Yes, yeah of course I forgive you" she stumbled "You can come with me"
She looked at Harry then, expecting him to say he would be joining them. He had had her back every other time, but the raven haired boy only gave her an apologetic shrug.
"I'd like to come, but I promised Neville I would go out to the lake with him this morning" Harry said and then whispered in her ear "I swear I'm not lying this time, I can't come with you."
Her stomach dropped.
"I suppose it's just us today eh 'Mione"
"Mmm-hhh" she hummed doing her best to keep the ill look off her face.
Silence. That had been her strategy thus far. She answered his questions in the shortest possible responses and kept a good foot's worth of distance between them, despite his constant leaning in and scooting towards her.
It seemed to be a good strategy because they had less than twenty minutes left and nothing serious had happened yet.
But then again, thinking that had been a jinx in itself hadn't it?
She reached to turn the page of his book to show him a good chart for determining what objects were best to charm for what use, when his hand caught hers.
"I think I understand it well enough already"
"Okay" she said cheerily, lightly tugging on her hand in a feeble attempt to get him to let go. "Then let's go ahead up to the hall to meet Harry, we've been down here for ages"
"Lunch doesn't start for another half hour."
"But it will take us ten minutes to get there" she said pulling her hand from his grasp finally. He seemed unfazed.
"So let's wait twenty minutes here, like we had planned, just not studying"
Damn her perfectionist time tables. Apparently she'd rubbed off on him more over the years than she had thought.
"Alright" she said sitting back in her chair and pretending to carefully and slowly gather her things.
"I need to talk to you about something" he began and she stood making sure to be looking the other way, as though there was a book on the shelf behind them that caught her interest.
"Go ahead, you can tell me anything." She said running her hand over one of the spines. Ironically it was a book she'd been meaning to read. It was seventh year material, but she wasn't sure how her next was going to go anyway.
"I know you're sneaking off to do something at night"
Her head whipped around to look at him astonished.
"It's none of my business I know" he said staring down at the maroon rug of the library. "But I care about you and just want to make sure you're being safe."
"Of course Ron," she assured and turned around once more. The look on his face was agonizing and she chose her next words carefully. The witch needed to take control of the situation fast. "I don't want to worry you and Harry at all, I'm being perfectly careful, and I'm happy you two respect my privacy enough not to ask."
Ron let out a low hiss "I-I don't worry about you the same way Harry does Mione"
She scrunched her eyes, as though if she squeezed them tight enough she wouldn't hear what was coming next.
"I like you a lot" he breathed "As much more than a friend or a brother."
The witch said nothing, only kept her back to him and wished to disappear.
"I'm not a curse breaker, or a dragon tamer. I'm not smart enough to work for the ministry, and I could never run a business as properly as the twins, hell I'm not even as good at quidditch as Ginny is" he snorted "And I am most certainly not the bloody chosen one, but I have liked you since fourth year" He continued, and she could hear him stand from the library's creaking wooden chair.
"I know you don't like me back right now," he kept on "But I want to work to make myself better for you." Her knuckles turned white gripping the edge of one bookshelf so hard. "I want to row with you less, to keep up with you better intellectually, and I want to make you laugh more."
She choked on a sob attempting to tear from her throat at the mention of laughter. He would never be Fred, but she had no way to stop him from trying.
His breathing sent shivers down her back he was so close now. "One day, I swear I'm going to be good enough for you Hermione Granger."
Even if he dies a voice said in the back of her head You will never be good enough.
She abandoned lunch in refuge of her bed. She slipped out of her jeans and school jumper in favor of Fred's long-sleeved shirt and climbed into the safety of her covers. Curtains pulled tightly and several mufflito's later and the sobs were racking through her body.
Hermione had always known there was the possibility she would break her best friends heart when he chose to tell her about his feelings. She had just never expected her heart to break for him.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.
AN: The ending is soppy, which I try hard to avoid, but I like it so whatever.
Read and Review please (I need the motivation, school is starting again so I won't have so much time on my plate)
Mel