.

.

What have I become?

I'm a fucking monster

When all I wanted was something beautiful

.

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Silence filled every inch of the room around them and Sakura's heart beat sounded as loud as a pounding drum beneath her chest. She was beyond exhausted but adrenaline coursed through her veins, heightening her senses. Inhaling a deep breath, she was aware of his scent immediately. It was as if he were fresh from the shower again and immediately, images of him dripping and half naked filled her mind. Sakura opened her eyes and bit down on her lower lip hard enough to taste the metallic flavor of blood.

Kakashi stood very still in front of the bedroom door, his eyes clouded with hunger as he watched her. He looked very much like a predator, focused only on his prey as he moved closer to her. The back of Sakura's legs hit the desk and she gripped the edge to keep herself steady. In two strides, he was before her but kept his hands to himself.

For several seconds they hesitated, their chests pressing together with every shaking breath they took. Her body responded to his closeness in an instant, the familiar ache building between her legs was so strong she could almost cry. After several seconds, Kakashi slid his hands under Sakura's jacket and slipped it over her shoulders. It hit the floor at her feet and she kicked it toward the bed, out of their way.

Agonizingly slow, Kakashi let his fingers graze across the skin of Sakura's shoulders and neck, inching their way up to cradle her jaw. A sigh shuddered from her lips a second before he lifted her face toward his. This kiss was different than all the others, Sakura knew as soon as their mouths touched. Maybe it was how different she felt about the situation, or how she felt about him, but Sakura could taste a change between them. It was as if they had been teetering on the edge of the mountain side and this kiss sent them over the edge. There was no going back to the way they were before.

Kakashi's hand left her face briefly to pull the slip of fabric away from his face and she felt her head swim at the touch of his lips. Sakura wondered if the dizziness that accompanied his kiss would ever fade. She took the hem of his shirt in her hands and lifted it over his head, tossing it to the floor. She had hoped she could take a moment just to admire his body, but he captured her mouth once more.

Sakura spread her fingers over the muscles stretched over his ribs and down his sides, wishing she could taste every dip they made under his flesh. Once she reached the waist of his pants she hesitated, not as courageous as she had been that night in the lab. She wasn't afraid but she was very intimidated. It wasn't lost on her how big and hard he felt through his pants the few times she had been against him.

She didn't have time to worry, however. Kakashi inched the fabric of her shirt up her torso and Sakura could feel her pulse quicken. She hadn't been naked in front of him before and the thought sent tiny jolts of electricity racing over her skin. She let him pull her shirt off before Sakura blinked up at him, surprised to see him free from his mask.

She had been so consumed with kissing him and feeling his muscles that she hadn't realized his face was bared to her. Before he could lean in to kiss her again, she took his face in her hands and studied him. There was a faint tan line over the bridge of his nose and it made her smile. With her thumb, she traced over the freckle below his lips and pressed a small kiss to it, leading a trail to his neck. Gods, he smelled amazing. Being so close to his skin was almost intoxicating, and her body felt warm and tingly as if she were already tipsy off him.

Sakura reached behind her and quickly unhooked her bra. She let her head fall back as Kakashi gave a small groan against her throat. His palm spread over her breast and she sucked in a sharp breath at the sensation. With one hand around her back, he kissed his way down to her nipple, taking it all in her mouth. The feel of his tongue swirling over the sensitive nub nearly made her cry out. She gripped a handful of hair at the back of his neck as a tremble rolled through her body.

Kakashi nipped at the flesh of her breast as his hands splayed over the tops of her thighs. "Do you like these pants?" He asked, his mouth barely leaving her flesh. Confused, Sakura's brow furrowed but she shook her head. "Good." He murmured before he grabbed the fabric of her leggings and popped the seam all the way up.

Sakura gasped at the sudden feel of cold air against her thighs but before she could cover herself with her hands, he took her by the wrists and stopped her. Kakashi lowered himself onto his knees in front of her, his eyes never leaving hers and hooked a finger around the edge of her panties. He pulled them aside and Sakura felt light headed as she lowered herself back onto the desk. Papers scattered to the floor and she watched as the rack of empty test tubes fell onto its side, sending the glass rolling toward the window. But it all melted into a world of black as Kakashi pressed his tongue against her.

Her chest rose and fell with every shaking breath she pulled in and she gripped the edge of the desk to reassure herself she wasn't floating away. His tongue slid up through her folds and back down, pausing briefly at her clit. Sakura cried out as he sucked gently on the bud. She had never felt anything as good as this, had never felt pleasure flood through her like a tidal wave and she feared she might drown in it. She squeezed her eyes shut as he held her thighs tightly, keeping them wide apart as he continued the slow teasing. He moaned softly against her and swirled his tongue over her, moving just a bit faster now. Sakura grabbed a fistful of her hair as her back arched up off the desk, her hips shuddering against his mouth. She cried out as she came, panting hard and loud as wave after wave rolled through her body.

Sakura clamped her thighs together as he stood, unable to fathom how she was still coming. She had never had an orgasm that intense and a tiny voice in the back of her mind reminded her that he had warned her she might not be able to handle it. She couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled into her throat but promptly silenced herself as Kakashi lifted her completely from the desk.

Gasping, Sakura gripped his shoulders as he carried her back to his bed. Despite the orgasm that was still making its way through her insides, she felt her body respond instantly to the thought of what was to come next. He laid her back against the pillows before he began to unbuckle the belt around his hips. She watched, her mouth suddenly dry at the sight of him, as if she had been wandering the desert and he was the only source of water for miles. As he pulled at the button of his pants, she wiggled out of her torn leggings, their eyes locked onto one another's. She stood up to her knees and dipped her hand beneath the fabric of his pants, gripping the base of his cock. She couldn't help the small hitch in her breath at the feel of his width and for a second she wondered if he would be able to fit. Swallowing, Sakura guided him down onto the bed, knowing it would be far easier if she were on top and in control.

Kakashi laid back against the bed and swore under his breath as she straddled his hips, hesitating above him. Hearing him curse turned Sakura on more than she cared to admit and she wanted to hear it again. She lowered herself onto his cock, her breath heavy as she tried to fit him inside her. She had never felt this filled before and it was several seconds before she could move. Slowly, she began to rock her hips against him, the feel of him sliding in and out of her nearly driving her to the edge all over again.

His hands gripped her hips and guided her back and forth, letting her get used to the rhythm before he moved faster. Sweat dripped from her temple, her lips pursed in concentration and Sakura couldn't believe that she felt as if she could come again. Kakashi sat up, taking her by surprise. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her tightly against him. He kissed the flesh of her collar bone, his breath hot and fast against her damp skin. Sakura laid her cheek against his hair as he thrust up into her, harder and faster with each move. "Fuck." He whispered against her breast and she felt her body tense, the growing intensity inside her begging to be released. She moved faster against him, panting and moaning louder than she had before. In seconds, she was coming again. Throwing her head back, Sakura gasped and gripped his shoulders so hard she was afraid her fingernails would break skin.

Her orgasm triggered his own and a moment later, he was coming. Kakashi groaned against her throat, his thrusts slowing until they were still against each other, breathless and sticky with sweat. Exhaustion washed over Sakura as they pulled away from each other and settled back onto the pillows. Kakashi pulled her against him and brushed her hair away from her temple before pressing a small kiss to her forehead. It was such a small gesture but one of the most intimate moments of Sakura's life. She blinked up at him as he closed his eyes, his hair tousled from her laying against him. He seemed peaceful, but Sakura could tell he had a million questions running through her mind like she did.

The longer she laid there, staring at him, the bigger the change that her guilt would creep into her mind like a fog. She closed her eyes and hoped she could sleep through the part where she would feel awful, hoped she could hold onto this feeling for just a bit longer...

Sakura woke with a jolt, her eyes snapping open to a near pitch black room. The could see a little bit of light from the street lamp peeking through the window blinds and it was enough for her to see the mess they had left on the floor. She glanced behind her where Kakashi still slept, his arm draped comfortably over her hip. Carefully, Sakura slipped out from beneath his grasp and bit her lip as he rolled toward the window. She waited several seconds but when he didn't wake up, she tiptoed carefully to gather some clothes and hurried to the bathroom. She slid the door closed behind her and turned to the sink.

Her reflection caught her off guard and she stared at the messy, pink strands of her hair as she clutched her clothes to her chest. She was almost surprised she still looked the same but that was silly. One affair wouldn't turn her into a three headed monster, even though that's how she felt. 'You're a bad person', the voice made her flinch. It sounded oddly similar to her mother.

Sakura forced herself to look away from the mirror and she sat down on the toilet. She pressed a hand to her belly and closed her eyes, forcing her chakra to gather where her hand rest. She pushed it like a broom along her insides and forced anything foreign out of her body. It was something she had done numerous times for women at the hospital. Women who claimed they had been taken advantage of, women who said their husbands never knew how to take no for an answer, they were all looking at Sakura in her mind now. She was ashamed that she had often snickered with the other nurses, hadn't stood up for them as they were whispered about and laughed at. 'Some women just have no self control', she could hear one of the older nurses cluck her tongue at her.

Even with Kyo, Sakura made sure he used protection and she was very careful not to have sex when she was ovulating. God, she hadn't even let her fiance come inside her yet. The thought made her nearly sick to her stomach and she moaned, dropping her head into her hands. The afterglow of her sex with Kakashi had disappeared now, leaving the horrible taste of bile in the back of her throat.

Sakure wiped herself and flushed the toilet before dressing quickly in her pajamas. This time, she avoided the mirror, flicked the light off and stepped back into the bedrooom. She risked a glance to the bed but he was still sleeping soundly. The grey sheet was draped over his waist, but she could still see the curve of his muscles stretched across his back and down below the sheets in the faint light. In a flash, she could see him standing before her, then between her legs and finally her lowering herself onto him like a movie in her mind.

Quickly, she shook it from her head and stooped to pick up the various clothes that were strewn about. She folded his shirt, bringing it to her nose to briefly inhale his scent. She didn't want to forget it. Next, she straightened the desk, dropping the test tubes back into the rack one at a time. She grabbed a few folders and sorted the papers, stacking them neatly by the window before turning to the ones that had fell to the floor. Sakura knelt to the floor and reached under the desk where a folder was laying open. Frowning, she grabbed it and held it up to the light.

On the tab was written 'Employee Files' and had the hospital's symbol on the front. Sakura sat back on her feet and opened the folder. Inside were numerous pages, all with information on the employees of the hospital. How had she never seen this before?

She thumbed through a few of them, reading over mundane duties and background information on each person. Sakura flipped one of them over and stared down at Shun's black and white picture staring up at her. It was the same one on his badge which was odd since the other pictures seemed to all have been different. Her eyes drifted down to his sparse information. He was twenty-seven, had become a citizen of Kumagakure three years ago and had immediately began working for the hospital. The page ended after only two sentences.

She flipped the page over but there was nothing else to read. Had one of his pages went missing? The other employees had several paragraphs, detailing family, previous jobs, addresses. It was so odd how his just...ended.

Sakura glanced around and saw a piece of white sticking out from under the corner of Kakashi's bed. Quickly, she glanced over at him. He was still sound asleep and her heart ached as she watched him. It seemed strange to her how the memories of them earlier caused such a whirlwind of emotion in side of her. She was happy and disgusted, aroused and torn apart all at the same time. Tears stung her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. God, she was a monster.

She had cheated on her fiance, had used one of her closest and oldest friends, and had probably ruined any chance at happiness in her life. Her chest felt like someone were standing on it, stomping down on her heart and she knew she deserved to feel this way. She sucked in a breath but it was difficult through the sobs that she couldn't hold back. The folder fell to the floor and she covered her face with her hands.

From on top of the bed, Kakashi rolled onto his back and sat up on his elbows. Quickly, Sakura wiped at her face and dried her cheeks with the sleeve of her top. She scooped the files back into the folder and reached for the stray piece of paper under the bed. "Sakura?"

"Mm?" She could barely make a sound, afraid that if she opened her mouth all that would come out would be more sobbing. With the bed blocking her from him, she made sure all traces of tears were gone from her face before standing to face the desk. "What are you doing?"

"Uhm..." She flipped the page over and stared at the top sentence, her blood nearly freezing in her veins. It was the next page of Shun's file. Previous citizenship: Sunagakure. Her mind raced as she dropped the folder and spun, reaching for the medical bag that she had discarded by the door hours before. She unzipped it quickly, ignoring the sound of Kakashi dressing behind her. She refused to look back, no matter how much she wanted to. Finally, her fingers encircled the test tube filled with the thick, black muck she had pulled from Aiko.

Midnight Poppy only grew in desert climates. Could Shun have something to do with this? He had been so nice, so welcoming and eager to help as soon as they had arrived. She turned toward him now. He was dressed in his pants from earlier, but not much else. Shirtless and with his face still exposed, Kakashi took the file from a blushing Sakura. It was so bizarre to see all of him. She cleared her throat and stood on her tip toes to point at the second page. "He's from Suna...the same place this poison grows. It's not enough to arrest him, but I think it's enough to inform the Raikage about."

Kakashi nodded and turned back to finish getting dressed. He slipped his mask back into place and nodded toward the door. "We need to be discreet. If he even suspects that we're onto him, he may try to flee."

"I agree. Which is why I think you should be the one to inform the Raikage. I need to get back to the hospital. If he's there, I can try to keep him busy with helping me."

Kakashi paused, his coat halfway up his arms as he stared at her with an eyebrow raised. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I don't think he'll risk an attack. The guards are out in full force and he knows it." Sakura slipped her socks on and ducked to search under the bed for her boots. As she stood empty handed, Kakashi stepped up to her. She gave a small start and stumbled back, blinking up at him. He took her face in his hands, tracing a line across her jaw with his thumb. "Be careful." He said, his eyes pleading with hers. Swallowing, Sakura nodded.

"I will."

With a quick kiss to her forehead, he turned and made his way out of their bedroom, leaving Sakura standing in her pajamas and socks. She touched her jaw and shook herself from the daze he had left her in. She had to find her shoes. Kneeling, Sakura pulled back the blankets on her bed and clucked her tongue. How had they ended up all the way on the bed? She grabbed them quickly but the sound of the doorknob rattling made her whirl around. Had Kakashi changed his mind about splitting up?

The door slowly swung open on creaking hinges and Sakura felt the blood rush from her face. Standing in the shadows of the hallway was the same dark figure she had faced in the lab. Instantly, Sakura's body tensed and she gathered her chakra into her fists. She wasn't going to let Shun get the best of her this time. But, before she could lunge toward the figure, a pair of gloved hands clamped over her mouth. She stared with wide eyes as a needle glinted in the light. It swooped down but she spun toward the bed, nearly tripping on the shoes she had dropped to the floor.

The window behind the desk had been opened just enough for someone to slip through. How had she not heard it? The shadow clone advanced onto her, dodged a kick and grabbed her around the thigh as the other figure pulled his hood back. It was Shun. Sakura growled and channeled her chakra into her fist, ready to send all of her power smashing into his face. Instead, she felt a tiny prick on her thigh.

Gasping, she stumbled away from the shadow clone as he pressed the plunger down on the syringe. Whatever poison he had injected her with burned immediately. She pressed her hands to her thigh and tried to force her energy to the spot...but there was nothing. She had no chakra. "Fascinating, isn't it?" Shun laughed, catching her under the arms as she staggered. "I've been perfecting it since you got here." He brushed her hair from her face and Sakura felt her head swim. Her vision blurred and she could see black static buzzing through the room.

"It's affects are immediate and I'm afraid by the time it wears off, you and your boyfriend will be dead." Shun snapped his fingers and the shadow clone hooked its arms under Sakura's legs, lifting her from the floor. She could feel herself being taken from the bedroom but could see nothing but black. From behind her, Shun chuckled to himself. "One down. One to go."

AN- Oh, you're such a fool Sakura.