Hey, marshmallow peeps! How you doin'?

Anyways, in more important news, sigh. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! I keep adding in characters all "posthumously" and what not... I guess I owe you an explanation for this slip up too. See, when I started to write the end, (don't ask me why I decided to write the last part first) Beth was not the character eliminated at that time. Someone else was originally meant to be eliminated, but then I figured out I still needed that character, and Beth was the only one I could eliminate. So, I went back and took out her dialogue, but forgot to replace her name. Yeah, so that's what happened.

Disclaimer:I don't own TDI/A/M/Whatever the hell they come up with when they're still fame-whoring this out in twenty years. (Not that I'm complaining, because I definitely wouldn't mind.)

Chapter 10: Paintball Deer Hunter

"Uh, not happening. Seventeen magazine listed anything deer related a definite no in fashion this summer."

-Heather

The %#!'s About to Hit the Fan... or Propeller

Chris smiled excitedly as he flew the helicopter over camp, humming quietly over the noise of the propeller. Funny... he seemed a happier person when flying.

Duncan, however, was not a happy camper. He jumped out of his bunk. "Hit the deck! They're onto us!" He cried, jumping under the bed.

DJ and Geoff just shrugged. It wasn't the first time Duncan had woken up screaming, and probably wouldn't be the last either.

The propeller's noise caused Leshawna to hit her head against the bunk above her when she woke up suddenly. "Ya'll better be joking! This ain't funny, Chris!"

"Whatever." Heather yawned. "It's better that that stupid megaphone. Lindsay, warm up the shower for me, please? And-"

"-not too hot this time, I know." Lindsay sighed, making her way out the door.

The girls groaned as they waited for Heather to get out of the bathroom. "Seriously, how long has she been in there?" Bridgette asked.

Gwen sighed. "Oh, forget it. Might as well go in the woods."

"Oh campers!" Chris's voice boomed out of the speakers. "Ready for the most challenging challenge yet? Meet me at the bonfire for brekkie in three. Minutes, that is, so hurry!"

"Um," Lindsay said, as everyone scattered (most likely to find a spot in the woods), "you done in there, Heather? The challenge is-"

"I'll be there in a minute!" Heather called back.

Lindsay sighed as she walked away. "Really, I had to choose the evil bitch to follow around?" She muttered to herself.

Challenge Time

"Are you ready," Chris began, "for today's extreme physical challenge?"

Owen nodded. "Totally!"

"Catch!" Chris cried out randomly, sending a can flying at Gwen's face, which Trent just barely managed to catch in time. Dang. Could have gotten better ratings with that...

"This is your breakfast." Chris said, tossing cans of beans to the campers.

"Um, no..." Heather scoffed, "breakfast is Belgian waffles, pancakes, bacon! Not sugar drenched beans!"

"So you won't be eating those?" Owen asked, taking Heather's can. "Beans, beans, good for your-"

"Yeah, yeah. We get it. You like beans." Chris paused to recollect himself. "Today is a survival challenge. We're going hunting!" He said, springing out a paintball gun.

Duncan smirked. "Now that's more like it!" Oh yeah. Definitely my nephew.

"Is that a model X345 paintball gun?" Harold asked Chris.

"I don't know Harold. Do I look like the kind of guy that gets a sick thrill out of shooting things?" The campers stared at Chris pointedly. "Don't answer that."

Bridgette frowned. "So for sure we won't be killing anything?"

"Nothing will be killed during this challenge." Chris assured. "I hope." He muttered, just loudly enough for Bridgette to hear, so she would freak out a little. "This is the first ever televised reality show paintball shoot-a-thon! I'll assign roles in a minute after we get to the woods. Enjoy brekkie!"

Baggin' A Doe!

"Okay," Chris said, after everyone one had eaten and they had reached the woods, "the Killer Bass hunters will be Harold, Geoff and Bridgette!" He threw them their guns.

"And the Screaming Gopher hunters will be Leshawna, Izzy, Owen and Lindsay!" Chris exclaimed, handing out the last set of guns. "Oh, and don't forget your uniform." He said, handing out visors and camo caps.

"Awesome!" Owen exclaimed. "This reminds me of this time I-"

Chris cut him off. "That leaves the deer. You get a pair of antlers, a cute little nose and a fluffy tail! Wicked, isn't it?"

"Uh, not happening. Seventeen magazine listed anything deer related a definite no in fashion this summer." Heather mocked. No it didn't! Not that I would know...

Duncan growled. "You must be seriously messed in the head if you even think-" He was interrupted when Chris slipped the costume on him.

"Why, hello Bambi." Owen chuckled.

Duncan frowned. "You better have really good aim, chubby!"

Killer Bass- Deer

"Well, at least Chris gave us a head start!" Courtney said.

"I'm not sure abut you," DJ began," but I don't want to be a sitting duck... or deer. I'm outta here." He said, crouching down and running off like a deer.

The other Bass stared at him in disbelief. "Did that really just happen?" Tyler asked. That's what I'm thinking bro.

Duncan frowned. "Honestly, I don't know what to believe anymore."

Screaming Gophers- Deer

"Isn't this just the most fun you've ever had?" Noah asked.

The others stared at him oddly. "I can think of better things to do." Gwen said.

"Sarcasm." Noah explained.

Trent smiled. "Sarcasm 101?"

Noah smiled and bumped his fist. "You know it!"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Great, while you two become 'bros' or whatever, I'll just wait here for Lindsay to come and protect me."

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Can you even do that?" No!

Heather rolled her eyes. "Does it matter? You have your way of playing the game, I've got mine."

Killer Bass- Hunters

"And action!" Harold cried, breaking up the huddle.

Bridgette looked sadly at her gun. "Look," Harold sighed, "it's just a paintball gun. You can't hurt anyone."

"That's not it." Bridgette frowned. "I just never though I'd have to learn how to use a gun in my lifetime."

"Would it cheer you up to know Heather's one of the deer?" Harold grinned.

"Really?" Bridgette smiled. "Oh, I'm going to have fun with this!"

Geoff smiled, and slung his arm across her shoulders. "That's the spirit dudette! Now, let's bag some deer!"

Ah, teamwork. The meatball to the spaghetti of competition.

Screaming Gophers- Hunters

"And the game begins... now!" Chris's voice crackled over the loudspeaker.

"Let's go get us some venison!" Izzy cried out, gun in the air.

Leshawna chuckled. "Sure thing, crazy girl!"

Owen, meanwhile, was fiddling with a jar of suspicious looking liquid before dumping it on himself.

"Um, what are you doing?" Lindsay asked, suspiciously.

"Masking my scent so I'm harder to find!" Owen called back.

Leshawna sighed. "Oh Lord, tell me that's not-"

"Pee? What else would it be?" Owen asked.

"Oh, ew!" Lindsay cried.

Izzy frowned. "That's too gross for even me!"

"You sure?" Owen asked. "I've got more!"

Leshawna frowned. "Dude, we're hunting people. All they gonna do is run when they smell you comin'!"

"So that was for nothing?" Owen asked, throwing the jar behind him, almost hitting Leshawna.

"One sick ticket!" Leshawna cried out, as Lindsay and Izzy scattered. Yeah... have to agree with you there.

Lindsay sighed. "I'm so tired! We haven't even shot anything yet!"

"It's only been five minutes." Izzy scoffed. "We still have plenty of time to bag those deer!"

"Ahem!" Heather called out, from a nearby tree stump.

Lindsay frowned. "What?"

"I've been waiting here for the last half hour! What took you so long?" Heather snapped.

Izzy grimaced. "Yeah, I'm gonna go now... bye!" She yelled, sprinting off.

"I'm late because you got a head start, remember?" Lindsay said.

Heather rolled her eyes. "Go get me some chips from the kitchen!"

Lindsay rolled her eyes slightly. "Sure, Heather."

"The hunter is a well oiled machine." Owen said, narrating his own life. "His senses are heightened in the chase. Suddenly, our hunter spots a magnificent buck in the clearing." He said, looking at DJ through the bushes. "To bag the deer, the hunter must show control." He then farted, alerting DJ of where he was.

Chips

Lindsay, meanwhile, was approaching the mess hall just as Chef came out dressed to go swimming. "Um, Chef?"

"Yeah, Blondie?" He growled.

She squirmed. "Uh, could I have a bag of chips?"

"What for?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

She frowned. "Uh, strategy? You know... like bait!"

Chef nodded. "Strategy... bait... ratings! Yeah, you can have some chips." He said, going into the mess hall for them. Fine, even though Lindsay broke the rules, it's approved. Ratings! Good thinking Chef!

"Thanks!" Lindsay said as Chef exited with a bag of chips. Chef walked off, with out bothering to say "You're welcome."

Lindsay made her way back. "Stupid Heather... stupid chips."

"Hard day?" Tyler called out to her.

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, Heather's got me running errands for her." She said, holding up the bag of chips.

"Well, stick it out. It'll be worth it in the long run." He smiled. "Why haven't you shot me yet? I am a deer you know."

She grinned. "There's always that one that gets away." Aww, how sweet! I mean... good for ratings. Yeah.

Owen and DJ

"The hunter begins to make his move, as he is aware of every one of his surroundings." He suddenly screamed, chucking the snake that had slithered over him away.

DJ sprinted away from the snake. "Oh, it's on DJ!" Owen cried out.

"You're mine now DJ!" Owen called out, running after the still sprinting DJ, shooting a few paintballs.

Lindsay and Heather

"Here you go, Heather. Your chips." Lindsay said, handing her the bag.

Heather took it. "Good job, Lindsay. Now be a dear, and fetch me some berries."

"First of all," Lindsay began, "I'm a hunter, not a deer. And secondly... no. Go get your own berries."

"What?" Heather hissed. "Alliance, remember?"

Lindsay frowned. "Yeah, but what good is an alliance if I get eliminated because I didn't shoot a single deer?" She started to walk off. "I'm outta here."

"Hey, come back here!" Heather yelled, letting Bridgette know her location, and shoot her. "Ow! I don't care who you are, this isn't funny!"

Harold and Bridgette hi-fived. Good job you guys... I was about to go out there and shoot her myself.

Owen and DJ (Yet Again)

DJ sprinted up the cliff, dodging paintballs.

"The hunters," pant, "want and courage," pant," will not give out!" Owen panted out, shooting a few more paintballs to emphasize his point.

DJ skidded to a halt as he made it to the edge of the cliff, and Owen caught up to him.

"You're mine now!" Owen exclaimed, pulling the trigger on his gun, only to have no paintballs come out. "Huh?"

DJ glared at him.

"The hunter, uh, knows his prey will stay there a moment, shocked, while he, uh, gets more paintballs?" Owen asked. Is it just me, or is this whole narration getting a little old?

DJ, still glaring walked towards Owen. "The deer can not best the hunter!"

Owen frowned as DJ towered over him. "Uh, dude, let's talk this over?"

The next image the cameras got was of Owen sailing over the cliff. "Aw, man!"

DJ smiled happily as he watched Owen land in the water, and even scuffed some dirt over the edge after him, before prancing off like a deer again.

Noah

Noah, ran through the woods, trying to lose any people that might be following him. He soon stopped, clutching his knee. "Damn it!"

Izzy, about 50 feet away, frowned. "Noah?"

She then heard another set of feet, this time, Harold. "Hey, Harold... whatcha doing?"

"I was following Noah." Harold explained. "You seen him?"

"Uh, Harold no offense, but we're on separate teams." Izzy pointed out. "I'm not supposed to help you."

Harold shrugged. "Whatever. I have mad paintball skills, I'm sure I can get him."

Noah groaned again, loudly. Harold chuckled. "And there he is. Told you I have mad paintball skills!"

Izzy frowned. "But that has nothing to do with-" But Harold was already gone. She took off after him.

"Damn it!" Noah groaned again, as Harold came out of the bushes, gun ready.

Harold grinned. "Nothing personal, but prepare to go down!" He pulled the trigger of his gun, aimed at Noah's head.

Izzy leaped in front of it, getting the paintball in the stomach. "Izzy?" Noah asked, incredulously.

"Why, the hell, would you aim for someone's head?" Izzy wheezed at Harold. "And why don't you go find someone who's not injured to shoot?"

Harold nodded. "Fine. Plenty of more fish in the sea... or deer in the forest."

"You okay, Iz?" Noah asked, slowly getting to his feet.

She nodded. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine... you?"

"It's just my knee." He said.

"Oh, yeah. That's what happened in the dodgeball challenge, right?" Izzy said. "That's why you couldn't play another round?"

Noah nodded. "Yeah. It kind of sucks."

Izzy looked at him skeptically. "Are you going to be okay?"

Noah nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Go find some deer to shoot."

Izzy left reluctantly.

Lindsay and Heather

"Lindsay!" Heather screeched, causing DJ to run away.

Lindsay sighed. "I almost had him Heather!"

"I don't care! Does the word 'alliance' mean anything to you?" Heather spat. "It should, considering you're in mine!"

Lindsay frowned. "But it's not just your alliance. It's yours and mine!" Way to stick it to the man, Lindsay!

"Which is why I've decided to give you one more chance." Heather said, her voice softer now.

Lindsay paused. "I'll have to think about it."

"But you're nothing without me!" Heather gasped.

"Yeah," Lindsay said, "but I'm nothing with you, too."

Owen, Who Is Once Again Creeping People Out By Narrating His Life

Owen walked into the focus of the camera, dripping wet. "You can leave the hunter with no ammo, hurl him down a cliff and soak him to death, but you can not break his spirit!"

A branch snapped as Duncan walked by, seemingly unaware of Owen's ranting. "Ah, fresh kill." Owen said, rubbing his palms together.

Heather and Lindsay

"Please, Lindsay, think this over." Heather said. "You need this alliance."

"Maybe I don't," Lindsay said softly, "I have Tyler and I had Beth... and Izzy's not too bad. They're good people."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Maybe so, but altogether they've got as much brains as a cantaloupe."

"I'm sorry Heather, I may have failed Biology, but even I know cantaloupes don't have brains." Lindsay said.

"It's a figure of speech!" Heather cried. "What I meant to say was, they just don't know how to play the game like I do. You need me."

Lindsay smiled. "This whole time you've been trying to convince me I need you, but maybe you need me. You wouldn't waste your time if I was replaceable."

Leshawna walked by as Heather screamed, "Fine, maybe I don't need you anyway!"

"Fine! I don't need you either!" Lindsay shot back.

Leshawna squinted at the two. "I picked a real bad day to not wear my contacts! Oh, well here's nothing!" She shot a paintball that hit Heather in the back of the head.

"Lindsay, help!" Heather yelled.

"I thought you didn't need me anymore?" Lindsay asked. Clever... maybe Lindsay's got some brains in her after all! "That was awesome, Leshawna!"

"I didn't mean too!" Leshawna cried out. "But it was kinda fun."

Heather glared at her. "Give me your gun, Lindsay!"

Lindsay went to put it behind her, but accidentally pulled the trigger, causing Heather to get shot in the leg. "Oops!"

"Girl, you are really crazy if you're going to do that to Heather." Leshawna said. "But respect."

"Stop laughing!" Heather commanded.

Owen, Now Chasing Duncan

"This is it. One paintball and destiny will be fulfilled!" Owen said, up in the tree above Duncan. He went to shoot but, farted. Oh, Owen! Really? Gotta learn self control dude!

Duncan sniffed the air. "Beans." He glanced up in the tree. "Nice try Fartacus, would've got me." He ran off, chuckling.

Owen, in reply, farted and soon fell out of the tree.

"Dude, not cool." Noah said.

Owen squinted his eyes. "You okay? You're limping..."

"Oh this?" Noah said, pointing to his leg. "Oh, no big deal. My knee's just kind of acting up again."

"Oh, okay." Owen said. "Hey, seen any deer lately?"

Noah nodded. "I think I saw Courtney go by that way..." Owen ran off before he could finish. "...but that was an hour ago."

Heather, Lindsay, Leshawna and... Izzy?

Izzy popped in as Leshawna and Lindsay were laughing. "What up, guys? Oh, did someone tell a really good joke? I know this mean knock knock joke!"

"No, our girl Lindsay here just shot Heather in the leg!" Leshawna laughed out. "Oh, you had to be there."

Izzy nodded. "So, it's an inside joke."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Here, give me that!" She said, grabbing Izzy's gun and wailing paintballs on Lindsay and Leshawna.

"Oh, it's on!" Leshawna said, pelting Heather back.

"What happened to you?" Lindsay asked over the noise, pointing at the paint on Izzy's leg.

She shrugged. "I just took a bullet for Noah. See, he was injured and Harold was aiming it at his head-"

"Noah's injured?" Leshawna asked.

"Oh, he's fine now." Izzy said.

"Are you sure? Because if he can't compete-"

"He's fine." Izzy said. "He's all better."

Duncan and Courtney, Tagging a Tree, T-A-G-G-I-N-G

Duncan was doing what he does best, defacing something. He was spray painting a tree (although it not quite clear where he got the spray can from.)

"And you smell worse than usual because-?" Courtney asked, playing the I-hate-you thing for the cameras.

Duncan shrugged. "Owen." Pretty self-explanatory.

"I'm heading back." Courtney said. "This game has to be over by now!" She took off past Duncan.

"You're going the wrong way!" He called after her. "Camps the other way."

She scoffed. "Excuse me? I have a natural sense of direction. Camp is this way."

"No, it's that way." Duncan argued.

They simultaneously rolled their eyes, and somehow ended up running into each other.

"Jesus!" Courtney mumbled. "Very funny! Let me go!"

"Hey, I didn't plan this, Princess." He said.

"Well, what are we going to do now?"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Wanna make out?"

Courtney was shocked into silence. Speechless!

End of Challenge

"This is really fun!" Bridgette called out to Geoff and Harold, as they had found the quarreling Gopher girls and were pelting them with paintballs.

The speaker screeched. "Attention, campers. The challenge has now ended, meet me by the infirmary." Chris said.

The campers (sans Duncan and Courtney) all met him by the infirmary. "That was awesome!" Chris exclaimed. "The way you guys beat on each other... priceless! Wicked, programming man!"

Geoff and DJ bumped fists.

"Um, where are Duncan and Courtney?" Harold asked.

Courtney and Duncan then staggered (or shuffled) in, antlers still locked. "Oh, this is too much!" Gwen exclaimed.

"Duncan..." Owen said, "Props man!"

Duncan smirked. "Chick can't keep her antlers off me."

Courtney kicked him the groin. "Can't bend over!" He moaned.

"Chill, Court," Chris said, "we need the infirmary for Noah right now."

Geoff and Bridgette quickly seperated them before any more damage could be done. "Well, since the Gophers are completely soaked in paint, I guess the Bass are our winners!" Chris exclaimed. "Gophers, I'll see you at elimination tonight."

Elimination Ceremony

Heather Confessional

Now who to vote for? There's just so many options. Lindsay, Leshawna, Izzy... hell, throw in the pasty white girl too!

Trent Confessional

Heather. It's my safest bet really, since I don't what drama went on while I was running. Besides, who in their right mind wouldn't vote for Heather?

Chris Confessional

I know I can't vote and all, but I have to say, the results were pretty shocking. I mean, it barely makes any sense...

"Okay, when I call your name you will get a marshmallow. If I do not call your name you must-"

"Walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and await your impending doom." Gwen said, cutting Chris off.

"Spoiler alert!" Chris called out angrily, "But yeah. Trent, Gwen, Lindsay, Izzy." He called out, throwing the respective marshmallows. "Leshawna and... Heather. That leaves Noah and Owen. The last marshmallow goes to... Owen."

"What?" Izzy exclaimed. "Why?"

"It's cool, Iz." Noah said. "It's fine."

"It's not fine!" Izzy yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why?"

"Because with his knee..." Leshawna said, "and if he can't do any of the physical challenges-"

Izzy frowned. "Why not Heather? She shot her own team members!"

Noah sighed. "I'm fine. I feel fine."

"What about what I feel?" Izzy said. "Ah? I'll miss you and-"

Noah engulfed her in a tight hug. "You'll be fine."

"I love you, too." She whispered.

"What?"

"I love you, too."

Noah paled. "You heard?"

She smiled. "No, Lindsay told me."

Chef sighed. "He needs to be getting on the boat."

"Let them have their moment." Chris said.

Chef sighed again. "We'll be punished for this."

"It's worth it."

Noah smiled down at Izzy. "How long have you known?"

"Before the challenge started. Honestly, Noah, would I worry that much about you to jump in front of a bullet if I didn't care about you?" She said.

"Thanks." He said, giving her a long awaited kiss. "I love you."

The cameras flashed red for the last time.

For Lack of A Corny Title

"That's pretty... lame." He laughed, sprawled out on the cabin porch.

She rolled her eyes from beside him. "Oh, whatever, Duncan. When I'm Prime Minister, we'll see who's laughing."

"Well, Courtney, I'll just be rolling around my grave in laughter."

"Oh... right. I forgot."

"No worries, Princess. Besides, you haven't won yet." He pointed, out jokingly.

She scoffed. "Westing's do not lose. It's, like, tradition."

"And who am I to argue with that?"

She rolled her eyes, smiling slightly. "No one, you are absolutely- Ohmigod, Izzy what happened?" She asked, as Izzy approached sobbing.

Izzy just sobbed. "Duncan, help!" Courtney hissed.

"I'm not good with crying girls! Why do you think I'm a firm believer of one night stands?" He hissed back.

"Izzy, what's wrong?" Courtney, asking again, as she hugged Izzy soothingly.

Duncan frowned at the still sobbing girl. "Break a nail or something?"

Courtney slugged him. "Insensitive much?"

Izzy shook slightly. "N-n-no." She stuttered. "They- they voted- Noah- he's gone!"

Courtney gasped. "Really? How could they?"

"Son of a bitch." Duncan hissed. "When I get a hold of those bastards-"

"I'm in love with him." Izzy sniffled.

Courtney hugged her tighter. "Ssh. Calm down."

"When did they get together?" Duncan mouthed to her.

She frowned. "I have no idea."

DON'T KILL ME!I know you're probably really mad right now, but it had to be done. Honestly, I didn't want to get rid of Noah so soon.

Psst, here's a secret: You want to know why I kept Noah in anyways? First, it started as an experiment. How much could I change the plot without you wanting to murder me? And I got away with it. Then, when Cody was voted off, Noah filled in as a plot replacement. I always knew he would leave at this moment. What I didn't know is that he would soon become one of my favourite characters to write, and that he would fall in love with Izzy and that he would become a huge part of the plot.

I actually teared up a little when Noah went. I know that's a little pathetic, but c'est la vie.

-Pursuit

(Don't worry... the NoahxIzzy romance will live on. Beyond the GRAVE maybe?)