Get ready for the waterworks... it's not gonna be good.
Thanks everyone for the love. You're loved even more by me. =)
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. And I look nothing like her.
BPOV
As the door closed, mine had opened. My sobs filled the loft, and I collapsed to the floor. I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head against my thoughts.
He was getting out. Jacob Black, the poor and worthless excuse for a man who took both of my parents away from me in one night, was getting out of prison. I would never see the beautiful and loving faces of Charlie and Renee Swan because of him. I lost the two most important people in my life and it was in his hands. He was just as responsible as I was, and I was satisfied when he was given life. Even though I would've been even more satisfied if I could've killed him myself. I didn't care at that point. I would go to jail for ending Jacob Black's life just as he had ended Mom and Dad's.
But now? Just as I begin putting myself back together all over again, this happens?
He gets parole? That vile, waste of human life will be walking around public streets in only a few hours?
How the fuck is this fair in any way?
I didn't know how long I was sitting there sobbing. And I didn't know when Alice and Rosalie each took a spot at my sides. I couldn't think of anything other than Jacob Black.
Him telling me those horrible things that night. Being pulled towards the car crash. Seeing my father's patrol car in pieces. Jacob sitting in the back of an ambulance.
My mother's face in that black body bag.
My body went limp. My sobs halted. My breathing became slow and heavy.
But I was in excruciating pain.
"Bella? What happened?" I heard someone whisper. I didn't know whether it was Rosalie or Alice. My mind couldn't even process it.
I took a few breaths before I answered the voice.
"He's getting out." I whispered to them. There wasn't much energy left in me, so I used whatever I had for those three short words.
"No." I heard them both whisper in denial, instantly realizing who I was talking about.
"Yes." I whispered back to them and nodded my head. "Jacob Black is being released from prison."
We sat there in silence, and I used it to try and compose myself enough to explain.
"The judge granted him parole. That's what Alec came here to tell me. The asshole even had the nerve to write me a damn apology letter." I scoffed. How dare he even try to apologize? And how the hell do you begin to apologize for doing something so awful?
Hey Bella. Sorry I hit and killed both of your parents. I love you baby. Forgive me?
I felt the bile in my throat already.
"Are you serious?" Alice asked me, clearly as shocked as I was. "You didn't read it, did you?"
"Read it? I didn't even touch it." I said to her. "And I don't plan on it either. It'll be sitting on my dresser for a very long time."
"Don't worry Bells," Rosalie growled. "You won't even have to look at it. Alice and I will take care of everything."
I nodded my head, and raised it to look over at the clock.
"It's almost 6," I sighed loudly. "Sorry I kept you guys up. I just couldn't hold myself together anymore." I didn't mention how surprised I was of how long we had been sitting there. It'd been hours since the guys had left.
"Bella, why are you apologizing to us?" Rosalie asked me, clearly annoyed. She put her forefinger under my chin, and turned my face to look at hers. "We should be the ones apologizing. We knew something was wrong when Alec left and we didn't do anything about it."
"Bells, why didn't you tell us?" Alice asked me softly.
I shrugged. "I didn't want to ruin your dinner."
"Bella!" They both yelled in unison.
"Sorry, sorry! I know, I should've said something." I apologized quickly, putting my hands up in defense. "But really, can we go to bed now? I'm exhausted.
Rosalie and Alice sighed, putting aside their frustration and nodded their heads in agreement. They helped me to my feet, and the three of us went to bed to sleep.
Except I didn't get much sleep.
My nightmares came back that night.
EPOV
I woke up at around 1130 that morning and kicked myself for having completely forgotten to set my alarm. I had promised Bella that I'd wake her for 11.
Way to go Edward.
I growled at my stupidity and grabbed my phone from the ground. Browsing through my contact list, I shuddered when I saw the one name that would give me chills every time I would look at it. I didn't even know why I still had it stored on my phone, it was worthless now. I knew what I had to do.
Delete.
Much better.
I continued browsing until my eyes set on the name I was looking for.
Bella.
I smiled. My contact list, other than my brothers and parents of course, was sorted by first and last name. It was obvious that Bella had noticed that too. Even knowing that, she only put in her first name. It seemed fitting. More personal. Something so small of an act, but it meant so much to me already. My smile was widening as my thoughts of Bella were running through my mind.
God, the girl could do this to me right when I woke up too.
I dialed her number and waited for her to answer. Three rings later, she did.
"Hello?" Bella answered, groggily.
Shit, I woke her up.
"Hey Bella. Sorry, did I wake you?" I immediately felt like such an asshole.
"Edward!" She sounded a little surprised, but I smiled again when she recognized my voice. "No, not really I guess. We got to bed late, but I haven't slept much all night."
"Oh. Is everything okay?" I was getting worried about her. Whatever Alec had told her kept her up all night. That guy was seriously pissing me off.
"No, not really." Bella replied, sighing. "But it was just nightmares. I'm just hoping that was the last one."
Nightmares.
They must've been pretty bad if they kept her up all night. I immediately became curious of what they were about. Just then, my mind clicked. I was keeping her up.
"Oh, I'll let you go sleep then Bella. Sorry again." I felt like such an idiot.
"No, Edward don't! Please." Bella said to me quickly. I guessed she thought I was going to hang up on her.
"Are you sure Bella?" I asked her seriously. "You need to sleep."
I heard her take a deep breath before she answered me. "I can't. I'm too scared."
Shit. Whatever these nightmares were about, they were serious.
"Well, is there something that I could do?" I hated not being there beside her, so I had to see if there was anything that I could do for her this way. Even if it was through the phone.
"Could you just, talk to me?" She said softly, and my smile was back. "Unless you're busy, then –"
"Of course not, Bella." I interrupted her quickly. "I'm never busy when it comes to you."
I heard her chuckle silently and sigh into the phone. "You're something else Edward."
"I'm just being honest with you," I laughed back. "Now, what would you like to talk about?"
We talked about our music, and I told her my history of playing. She gasped when she heard about my performance in Italy. She was so surprised at everything I was telling her, and I knew that whatever I would say to her, I'd always have her full attention. She paid close attention to all I would say, and I can't even explain how much I appreciated it. She reminded me so much of my mom, it was unbelievable. I'd never compared anyone to my mother, being the wonderful person that she is. But Bella was the first ever person that could remotely compare to my mother. And that similarity was getting stronger by each day. I really wanted Mom to meet her soon.
Bella continued to tell me about her studies at NYU. How she started late, so she has winters off instead of summers. She didn't really explain why though. When I told her that I was from Seattle, she said that she was from Forks. I was surprised at how close our hometowns were. Except when I told her that we could spend Christmases together when we went back home, she went silent.
"I haven't been to Forks since I started school." She told me after I asked if she was okay.
"Why? Don't you miss your family and friends?" I asked her right after. I didn't even think about it before I had asked. It was just an honest question that came to my mind.
Again, a short silence before she answered me.
"There's no one for me in Forks." And I instantly dropped the subject. I could tell it was still too early for me to talk to her about any of this.
I changed the subject to my brothers. And their obvious admiration for Rosalie and Alice, to which Bella laughed. We both decided on getting together as much as we could as a group, just to watch them. And of course, I didn't mind. That would mean that I could spend more time with her.
We were on the phone for hours, and I could've gone for more. That is, before I heard her yawn.
"Bella, you need to sleep." I told her gently, yet firmly too. She had to get some rest.
"But Edward –" She began to disagree.
"No buts Bella Swan," I said to her, smiling when I mentioned her last name for the first time. "You need to sleep."
"Okay, Edward Cullen." She scoffed, playing along and taking use of my last name as well. "I do need to sleep, but I already told you. I just can't."
Bella whispered that last bit, and I knew that she still wasn't comfortable sleeping right now. Even after our lengthy conversation, she still wasn't ready to go back to sleep.
"Can I help?" I asked her. I didn't know what else I could really do, but it wouldn't hurt to ask.
Yet another short silence before I had her answer.
"Edward," she began her request silently. "Do you mind, um, singing me to sleep?"
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much with her, but it wouldn't stop me now. I was smiling even more now, because I knew that she was blushing as she had asked me.
"Of course I will." I agreed, of course. I didn't have a great voice, but I would never turn her down. "What would you like me to sing?"
I got up to pick up my guitar and then sat back down on my bed.
"Anything." Bella said to me softly, barely even whispering.
God, she's such a turn on.
There go by teenage hormones. The girl was hurting, and look at what I could think about. I couldn't help it though. I could barely control myself when I was around her, and now I realize I'm just the same when I'm on the phone with her.
I grabbed my Bluetooth and switched to use it so that I could keep my hands free to play. I already knew which song to play for her. So I began to strum my guitar.
I was just playing around with my guitar the week before, trying to get my mind off of Bella, when I started playing All Fall Down. It was always one of my favourite songs, but I never really felt the need to play it on my guitar. I usually played songs that I could connect something or someone to. You know, to get a little more passionate about it. I never had a reason for the song, until now.
Bella was my reason.
Step out the door and it feels like rain
That's the sound, that's the sound, on your window pane
Take to the streets but you can't ignore
That's the sound, that's the sound, you're waiting for
If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's where you'll find me
I wanted Bella to know that I was always there for her. That I would always be there for her. There weren't enough words for me to say it to her myself, so I hoped that my playing this specific song would send out my message. I wanted her to always come to me when she needed something, because I would always be there. In the short while that I've known her, I've wanted nothing else. Bella was the most beautiful yet intriguing person I'd ever known. There was something about her, something that had happened to her that made her feel empty. Broken, as she had told me the night before. I never wanted her to feel that way, ever. If anything, I was empty before I met her. I wanted nothing but to make Bella feel whole again.
Yeah, God love your soul and your aching bones
Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below
Everyone's the same, our fingers to our toes
We just can't get it right, but we're on the road
If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's when you'll find me.
Lost til you're found,
Swim til you drown.
Know that we all fall down.
Love til you hate,
Strong til you break.
Know that we all fall down.
Bella was the same as any other person, even if she didn't think so. She was a human being. She made the same mistakes, the same choices, and the same promises as anyone else. If something terrible had happened to her in the past, there would be a way for it to be fixed. She would lead her own way, and she would find her cure. I wanted nothing more but to be there by her side as she went on her journey. There was nothing that could take me away from her. Nothing. I've already seen more than many others have, but that wasn't going to stop me. I promised her to be for her through everything, and I would never go back on it. Bella began a new beginning for me.
If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's when you'll find, find me.
She was lost. She felt like she didn't deserve anything good for herself. But she was wrong. Bella deserved much more than what she gave herself now. Everyone has a moment in their lives where they're overwhelmed by all that's going on. All you need is a little help, and I was willing to be the one that she could lean on. She could depend on me. And I'd always be there to catch her when she falls.
Lost til you're found,
Swim til you drown.
Know that we all fall down.
Love til you hate,
Strong til you break.
Know that we all fall down.
All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down.
We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down.
I could feel her breathing get heavier. A sign of my singing helping her get to sleep. I continued playing, but softly so I wouldn't wake her.
Lost til you're found,
Swim til you drown.
Know that we all fall down.
Love til you hate,
Strong til you break.
Know that we all fall down.
I switched back to my phone, and listened to her soft breathing. She sounded peaceful, and it assured me that she wouldn't have her nightmares when she slept now.
But I had to make sure that they'd be gone forever.
Yes, I'll have that Edward as well. Did you catch some cryptic-ness in his POV as well? Uh ohhhh