The Leaf Village.

Not exactly the place of my dreams, but overall it was pretty nice.

Ah, the buildings; the fusion between Japanese architecture and modern elements. If I had a sketchbook with me I would definitely be drawing some of this out. There is a big difference between seeing something on a page, and seeing it in the third dimension. And who could forget the biggest feature of the village, ninja Mount Rushmore? I wonder what would happen if they ran out of space on that thing.

Currently the group was on its way to see the Hokage.

We passed through the gate without much trouble, and then headed down one of the busy streets. You could see other ninja mixed in with the crowds, but none of them I was able to recognize.

I wondered what part of the story I was currently dreaming about anyway. Was it before Naruto left off on his journey, or after?

I guess I'll have to start fishing for information at some point.

Eventually we came to the Hokage's Residence. Honestly, I wasn't impressed. For the leader that you could consider to be of a country, it wasn't very grand. I don't know, maybe I just expected it to be a bit more White House type impressive, or even just a bit fancier than the average building. It was tall and red though. That's something I think.

We went inside, and after turning through a couple of hallways, and climbing a flight stairs we arrived at the Hokage's office.

It was relatively large; a desk at the front and Tsunade was sitting behind it.

She looked up, eyes darting to each of us before finally resting on me.

"Report."

Kakashi stepped forward, giving her a slight nod.

"Mission completed. There was an enemy encounter during the mission, but the objective was still met."

I hope there was some written report had had to do later, because if I was Hokage I would not be very happy at the extreme vagueness of that statement.

Tsunades' eyes narrowed, seeming to scrutinize the situation.

"Who?"

"Kisame, though we believe it was a chance encounter."

She looked surprised for moment, her expression soon falling back into a critical one.

"I expect a full report later."

So they were talking about Kisame, that freaky fish guy with the giant sword. What was that organization called again?

"Hey, are you guys talking about the Akasuki?"

All eyes turned to me, with a mix of bewilderment, shock, and what looked like killing intent. Sunglasses guy, ehem, I mean Kenji even pulled out a kunai out.

They remained quiet, so I decided that I might as keep talking.

"I can tell you their defining traits, abilities, and random other things if you want."

It's not like this was real. What did it matter if I gave then this information anyway? For all I know they could have it all already.

After another awkward silence finally Tsunade spoke up.

"Who are you?"

I just shrugged.

"My name is Mako as far as I've been told. So, do you guys want me to tell you or not? This free information I'm giving away."

She nodded, a fierce and skeptical look in her eyes.

"Continue."

Now I thought about it, almost all of my knowledge from the Akatsuki was from reading fanfiction. After I went through with reading The Akatsuki's Kawaii Kawaii Beach Party, all Ada did was recommend more Akatsuki fanfiction to me. At this point I'm not even sure what's cannon anymore. Deidara and Sasori were as far as I had gotten in the story.

Here goes nothing…

"Well, starting off with Itachi Uchiha, I mean Uchiha Itachi, his most defining trait is his blindness."

That statement raised a couple of eyebrows.

"It's from over using his Mangekyo Sharingan. He's slowly going blind and is also dying if I'm not mistaken."

Hmm, what else was there to say?

"Oh yeah! Under that cold exterior he is actually a really nice guy! And he's also secretly dating Sakura!"

I swear Tsunade's mouth actually dropped open.

"Well, moving on, Kisame, aka the freaky fish guy, is Itachi's best friend and has a sword that is alive. His sword is also a good friend, if not also the other half of his soul."

Powers next?

"He uses water jutsu and can transform to look like a majestic dolphin."

Wait, was it really a dolphin? Eh, whatever.

"Deidara really loves explosions and loves telling everyone that art is an explosion."

How many times did he say that phrase anyway?

"He has a totally rational hatred of the Sharingan because of his inferiority complex, and has one eye that is trained to resist its effects. Also, his hands have mouths."

The people in the room all had an expression of extreme neutrality.

"Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure he's actually a woman."

That raised a couple of eyebrows.

"Sasori is a puppet freak that actually turned his who body into a puppet. He keeps his heart or whatever it is in a compartment. That's his weak spot by the way."

Hmmm…

"I think those two are a pairing, but I personally think they're actually just friends."

I was totally on a roll now.

"Hidan is an immortal zombie who follows some crazy religion. If you every fight him I suggest trying to destroy the brain. If that doesn't work then just incinerate him somehow. Though he's a scumbag, he somehow has a lot of fan girls who have converted to his religion to be with him."

"Kakazu is Hidan's partner and loves money. He is has several hearts, which according to some sources give him the ability to love others even more. He really loves money."

"Nagato, aka Pein, has multiple bodies which are actually just puppets. He is actually hidden away somewhere and has some crazy eye powers that can bring back the dead. He also has a harem that contains Konan the paper chick and some other people."

I don't think I've spoken this much before to any of these people.

"Tobi is actually the leader of the Akatsuki and is using them in some grand scheme. He acts like a five year old, but is actually pretty smart himself. I'm pretty sure everyone hates him though."

I paused.

"There was something about a moon…"

What was it again? Probably not important.

"And finally, Zestu…"

"…"

"I don't even know."

I ended my little rant, hoping there wasn't anything I missed. I'm sure most of what I said was accurate.

The others looked at me with a mix of astonishment, confusion, and distrust. It seemed that even more people were starting to pull out their weapons.

There was a long silence allowing everyone to digest this new information. Tsunade had her eyes closed, hands clasped on top of one another. She spoke slowly, an edge to her voice.

"How did you come to know this information?"

Uh…

"Intuition?"

AN: I've been planning to write this chapter for a while now. I tried to cram in as many random Akatsuki stuff as I can think of into this. Some characters are harder than others.