A:N: Hey guys! I hope you all had an amazing Christmas! Also, checkout my Christmas oneshot if you haven't already ;)
Chapter 10:
Arizona preferred running in the colder weather. Now that it was November, and t-shirts and shorts had long since been replaced with jeans and sweaters, Arizona found that running in the cooler air was better for her. She still quickly grew hot with each stride she took, but it wasn't as stuffy as running in the summer. She could certainly feel sweat rolling off of her forehead, and her breathing still became hard, but the chill in the air soothed her in a way that hot air just couldn't.
Also, running was a great way to relieve sexual frustration. Something that she hadn't needed to relieve during the summer.
Quickening her pace as she turned a corner, Arizona grinned as a new song started playing. She had set up a work out playlist on her phone, something which often got her in the mood. Not that she really needed it. Running was her thing after all, she loved it with every ounce of herself.
Arizona paused as she reached the next corner, taking a long sip from her water-bottle. She continued to breath heavily, her legs beginning to ache and feel like jelly. She wasn't too far from her house, and was determined to make it back by running. As she was about to make a run for it again, quite literally, a person stepped into her space, halting her movements. Raising her head, to try and politely tell the person to move the hell out of her way, Arizona found herself facing hazel eyes.
"Hey Zona, I haven't seen you around," the person said. It was a girl, around her age, with shoulder length red hair and pale skin which was covered in freckles. She was smirking at Arizona, in a way she knew all too well, and after a moment, Arizona realised who the mysterious girl was.
"Amber," Arizona said simply, smiling a little, and hitting pause on her phone. She was still out of breath.
"How you been?"
Amber was a girl who's mother worked with Arizona's. She was in the same grade as Arizona, but she went to a different High School, due to where her house was. Arizona had hung out with her a bit when they had first moved to Baltimore, but hadn't seen her in a few months. Nothing had ever happened between them, due to there always being someone else with them, but their had definitely been some flirting, something Arizona remembered quite clearly.
"Okay, you?" Arizona replied, slightly awkward. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other.
"Great," Amber said softly, eyeing Arizona up and down, her tongue coming up to moisten her lips as she very clearly checked Arizona out. "Wanna catch a movie one day later this week? Hang out again?"
The strong implication on the words hang out was clear, something which made Arizona's insides squirm. A month ago she would have jumped at the offer, but she felt like there was something tugging her back. Callie. Nothing had happened between them, and there was no indication that anything was going to happen, but Arizona struggled to get her lab partner out of her head.
"I'll let you know," Arizona told her eventually, figuring that was the best way to go. Not exactly saying yes, but then again, she wasn't exactly saying no. It gave her more time to think.
"Okay," Amber shrugged, sending her a wink, before she left, leaving Arizona standing alone on the sidewalk. Shaking her head, and rolling her eyes at herself, Arizona began to run again, ignoring the burn in her legs.
The next day at school, Arizona found herself once again dwelling on the idea. She was slumped over a book in the library, not that she was actually reading, but she felt conflicted about what to do. Amber was hot, and nice, and wanted to go to the movies with her, even if something casual was all it was. Which was fine because casual was what Arizona Robbins typically did. On the other hand, the red head wasn't Callie. Callie was the one that made Arizona's stomach erupt into thousands of butterflies, Callie was the one who made her weak at the knees. Callie was the one she liked, and the once she wanted to go to the movies with. She couldn't get Callie out of her head. She couldn't escape the feel of Callie's arms around her as she showed her how to bowl, or how her soft cheek felt under her lips. Amber wasn't Callie. Then again, Callie wasn't the one asking her out.
"Thinking about a certain brunette, are we Battleship?" Teddy asked, dropping into the seat next to Arizona.
"Kind of," Arizona mumbled, frowning. She groaned loudly, letting her head drop forward onto her book. "I got asked out. Sort of. I think."
"By Callie?" Teddy's voice was filled with excitement at the idea of Arizona and Callie going on a date, but Arizona quickly shot down the idea.
"No," she grumbled, raising her head a little to meet Teddy's eyes. Her best friend stared back at her. "By Amber. You remember? The redhead? I haven't seen her in a while but then I saw her yesterday and she asked if I wanted to go to the movies. And she winked. God."
Teddy's eyebrows shot up into her hair. She stayed quiet for a moment, thinking over the situation in her head, unsure of how to proceed. After a little while, she spoke up.
"Are you going to go?"
"I don't know Teds. I like Callie, I do, but nothing is happening. Literally nothing, and I shouldn't expect it to because she's not gay or into me-"
"She is into you."
"-And Amber is and she wants to go to the movies with me. And she's pretty. But I don't know."
"Callie is into you," Teddy told her, ignoring what Arizona said. "She totally is, I know it. I'm not blind Arizona."
"Yeah, well we said Owen was into you and now he's dating Cristina Yang," Arizona retorted bitterly, not believing a word that came out of Teddy's mouth.
Teddy sighed, bringing a hand up to rub at her temple. Arizona knew this was exhausting, and she felt bad for taking it out on her best friend, but she really didn't know what to do. Maybe she should lock herself in her room for the rest of her life, that sounded like a good idea.
"Say yes," Teddy finally let out. "Say yes and go on the date and see how it goes. One date doesn't mean anything."
Arizona thought over the idea. Teddy was right. One date didn't mean anything. Maybe she would actually really like Amber. Even though that thought seemed absurd, especially with Callie around, it was worth a shot. Maybe a little distraction would help her in the long run. She really didn't want to mess up her friendship with Callie, and she didn't know how Callie would react with finding out that a gay girl had a crush on her.
Having made up her mind, Arizona pulled out her phone and shot a quick Facebook message to Amber.
Is tonight good? -Arizona
Callie was crying.
Hard.
The last time she had cried this hard was when she had fallen over and cut her head open, and that was over physical pain, not emotional pain. She wasn't aware of a time when she had cried this hard over something that wasn't physical pain. She wasn't sure she ever had. She had never lost an important family member, and had never had a pet to grieve over. She hadn't felt all that sad when Aria had left to go to college, and she was more pissed than sad when she had left Miami.
No, this was definitely new.
Arizona Robbins had a date.
She had caught up with Arizona during lunch, and had asked her if she wanted to come over that night for dinner. She had joked about how they could make the dinner again, with Callie doing most of it and Arizona just occasionally stirring when required. She had also suggested a Friends marathon, knowing that they both loved the show. But Arizona's face had quickly filled with what looked like pity, and she bit down awkwardly on her lower lip.
"I'm sorry Callie," she had said, wringing her hands. "I actually have plans tonight."
"Oh," Callie had replied, unaffected. "Special family dinner or something?"
"No, I'm actually going to the movies with this girl Amber," Arizona answered, wincing as the words left her mouth. "I'm really sorry. Maybe tomorrow?"
The words had hit Callie like a tonne of bricks. She quickly threw on a fake smile, telling Arizona that it was fine of course, and had managed to keep her resolve until the end of the day, where tears finally hit her as she pulled up on the driveway of her house. She was an idiot. Of course other girls found Arizona hot and wanted to date her. She shouldn't have been surprised. Was she really thinking that Arizona would stay single forever and just be her friend? Was she really that niave?
In all honestly, Callie wasn't sure why she was crying.
Was it because Arizona couldn't hang out with her? Or was it because she was upset that Arizona was on a date with someone that wasn't her? The idea of Arizona being with someone, kissing someone, holding someone, had pushed Callie into a new spotlight that she had been edging towards since the start of senior year, but one she wasn't sure she was ready to face yet. The idea of Arizona being with someone made her suddenly confront the weird feelings she had been trying to make sense of for weeks.
It was more than just attraction. It was more than just a case of finding Arizona hot and sexy and beautiful.
She liked Arizona. She liked another girl.
The thought made her cry harder. Callie couldn't make sense of what was going on inside her head. The answer was so clear before her but she was so afraid. She wasn't sure how she felt about it, let alone what other people would think. What her parents would think. With the final thought, she slammed her head against the steering wheel of her car, struggling to breathe against the salty tears.
She needed to talk to someone. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe this was just a weird feeling that would pass soon, and she would be laughing it off in twenty or thirty years. Maybe she didn't like Arizona like that, but just craved her company and didn't want to lose her friend. Maybe it was like that.
Knowing that she was never going to get answers on her own, Callie managed to locate her phone in the side door compartment, and quickly dial Addison's phone number.
"Hello my sweet best friend, how may I be of assistance?"
Upon hearing Addi's voice, Callie felt a fresh wave of tears hit her, and she struggled to choke back her sob.
"Callie?" Addison asked, her voice laced with concern, clearly hearing the sobbing girl. "What's wrong? What's happened?"
"Have you ever found another girl attractive?" Callie managed to choke out, her free hand rubbing her bloodshot eyes.
"Of course I've found other girls attractive," Addison answered immediately. "Everybody has. What's this about? Has someone said anything about how you look or-"
"No," Callie interrupted, sniffing. "Like, I mean being attracted properly to a girl. In the way you've been attracted to guys before. Like, you want to hold her and spend time with h-her and her smile lights up your day a-and you want to, y-you want to-"
Callie was unable to say the last few words, her voice getting lost in her throat. She couldn't say them, but she knew what she felt. She knew it. That she wanted to kiss her.
"Callie," Addison whispered into the phone, her voice filled with love and understanding. "Are you saying you like a girl?Because that's okay. Liking a girl and wanting to be with a girl is okay. There's nothing wrong with that, you hear me? Nothing."
"I think so. I really think I do. But maybe I'm wrong," Callie offered, and she turned to stare out her car door window. "M-maybe I'm wrong and it'll pass and it's nothing and-"
"Tell me about her." Addison cut Callie off, causing Callie to stop. "Just.. tell me about her."
"She's beautiful, and smart," Callie started, drumming her fingers of her left hand into her steering wheel. "She's the sort of person who can make you smile just by walking into a room. I don't know how she does it. She just does. It's like her smile is magic or something. I don't know. S-she knows near enough everything about biology, like me. We can sit there for hours and talk about the body, and she's not doing it to humor me, she actually is interested, y'know? And she stands up for me, and makes me feel like I'm important. Or special. And she does this thing where she scrunches up her face when she's concentrating, and I swear to God, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. And she tries so hard to stay strong and tough for everyone else, no matter how sad she feels, and she pushes everyone away except me. It makes me feel like I'm good at something, the fact that she opens up a bit with me. She play-fights with me, and makes life seem so much easier, and when I'm with her, I don't feel like the world is turning. It's like I'm just there, in that moment with her, and I could stay there forever. I want to stay there forever."
"It doesn't sound like you're wrong, Cal," Addison replied, once Callie had stopped rambling. "It sounds like you're very very right."
"That's what I'm afraid of," Callie murmured quietly. "I didn't want to be right."
"After speaking about her like that, I think you did want to be."
"I don't know what to do, Addison," Callie told her, a few tears escaping. "I'm scared."
"It's okay to be scared. Being scared makes you human. Talk to her about it."
"She went on a date today with another girl, that's what made it hit me like this."
"She likes chicks too? See! You're already half way there."
Callie laughed a little at Addison's comment, but still felt the weight settle heavily on her shoulders. She didn't know what to do. She needed time to think, and understand, and be able to accept it somehow. To be able to accept that she liked Arizona. In a way, accepting it was good, even though it was frightening. But what did it mean. Was she gay? She had boyfriends in the past, and had liked them, so what did it mean? What did everything mean? She wasn't sure.
"It'll be okay," Addison added, after silence settled over them. "You're still you. And I love you. It'll be okay. I promise."
Callie nodded, even though Addison couldn't see her.
Callie was avoiding her, and Arizona didn't know why.
On Tuesday, she didn't have biology, meaning that she wouldn't see Callie in class. Usually though, she would talk to Callie in the hallways between lessons, or meet to study in free periods, or speak at lunch. But everytime she had seen the brunette, Callie had quickly put her head down and walked in the other direction.
She wasn't answering her texts either. Arizona had sent her three, one asking if she wanted to study, another asking if her offer for dinner that night was still open, and then another asking if everything was okay. But none had been replied to.
On Wednesday, they had biology together period two, so Arizona had figured this was the perfect time that Callie would have to talk to her. However, it appeared that the odds were not in her favor, as Bailey had sprung a surprise test on them, rendering everybody to complete silence. Callie didn't say hello as she sat down in her seat, and Arizona found herself distracted at the lack of communication. She had then planned on talking to Callie after class, but while she packed away, the other girl had sped off out of the classroom without another word.
It was getting annoying. She didn't understand what on earth was going on, and what she had done to receive this kind of silent treatment. The last time they had spoken they had seemed fine, Arizona politely declining her invitation to go round to her house as she had plans with Amber. Of course she would have much rather spent the evening with Callie. The date with Amber had been boring, the other girl talking about some reality show she watched most of the time on the way to the movies, and had then proceeded to pick the worst movie ever. Plus she was a loud eater, and Arizona realised she had never fully appreciated the fact that Callie made hardly any sound while eating. Amber seemed to have a bit of a lame time too, and it was clear that there wasn't going to be a second date.
Maybe Callie was upset because she couldn't spend the evening with her?
The thought made her angry. It wasn't as though Callie could expect her to be free everytime she wanted to hang out, it wasn't fair on her. Arizona had a life. She was allowed to go out, even if it was with the most boring and annoying person on the planet.
At the end of the school day, Arizona was even angrier when she saw that it was raining. Hating herself for choosing a jacket without a hood, she ran out into the car parking lot. Most people had already left, as Arizona had stayed behind in the library for about an hour after school had ended.
Running towards her truck, Arizona stumbled when she noticed Callie also running over to her own car. Clenching her fists and narrowing her eyes, Arizona had come to the realisation that she had had enough, and the avoidance game wasn't going to be played anymore.
"Callie!" She shouted angrily, hating the way the shortened version of Callie's name sounded on her tongue. Calliope was much better, but she knew if she said that, her resolve would be lost.
Callie jumped, twisted round, her eyes widening.
The rain poured heavily down on them both, making their hair plaster to their heads. Arizona found that a soaking wet Callie Torres was an adorable Callie Torres, but she had to keep her cool and not give in.
Callie turned to go back to her car, causing Arizona to lurch forward.
"No! You don't get to walk away again! You've been avoiding me, you owe me an explanation."
Callie swallowed thickly as Arizona stepped closer to her.
"Arizona," she said quietly, her gaze dropping to the floor.
"No! You are going to tell me right now why-"
"Arizona," Callie tried again, taking a step back.
"You don't get to avoid me and not tell me why! Is it because I had plans? Really? Well I'm sorry that I had a place to be, but that's no reason for you to be mad at me! What the hell?"
"Arizona," Callie mumbled weakly.
"No!" Arizona screamed over the rain. Her jeans were soaked through, but she couldn't bring herself to care. "I am your friend, and you owe me an explanation. You don't get to be mad at me for having plans, that's not your right! But I have every right to be mad at you for avoiding me and not letting me know what I've done wrong! That's not fair Callie, you can't do that, you can't decided when you want me around and when you don't, it's not fair, I-"
"Arizona!" Callie said again, this time a lot louder, her brown eyes filled with a thick emotion that Arizona hadn't seen in her eyes before.
"What?!" She snapped.
For a moment, Callie didn't do anything. The burning in her eyes grew stronger, and Arizona was sure she was going to turn around and get in her car and speed off. She was certain that Callie was going to walk away, and that would be the end of that. But instead, Callie did something she hadn't seen coming in a million years.
Callie stepped forward into Arizona's personal space, her hands coming up to the back of Arizona's neck. She pulled Arizona's head towards hers before Arizona knew what was happening, and then she plump lips crash into hers.
The kiss was hard and raw, Callie pouring every single emotion she felt into the kiss. It was like someone had set a fire in the middle of Arizona's stomach, igniting flames that were burning her insides. Callie's hands tangled themselves in her hair, sliding through her wet blonde locks, keeping her in place. Her lips were wet from the rain, but tasted undeniably like strawberry, and it wasn't until she felt Callie begin to pull back that she realised she hadn't reciprocated the kiss.
Coming into her own, Arizona moving her own hands up to Callie's slippery cheeks, pulling her lips back to her own. She kissed her back, tilting her head to the side a little to gain a better angle. Arizona's lips dropped to Callie's full bottom lip, taking in-between her own, and sucking on it lightly, earning a moan from the brunette. Her hands slid back to Callie's wet hair, the rain continuing to pour heavily on top of them, but neither one of them cared. Kissing Callie was like heaven. It was like coming up for fresh air after being held down underwater for so long. It gave her the feeling you got when you were a child on a Christmas morning, providing her with the same amount of excitement and anticipation. Unable to hold back any longer, Arizona gently slid her tongue along Callie's bottom lip, whimpering as she complied and opened her mouth. Her tongue immediately sought out Callie's, beginning to dance in the other girl's mouth. It was passionate, and hard, and not the loving, soft kiss she had dreamed of. Not that was she was complaining. If she had thought hugging Callie made her feel alive, kissing her made her feel as though she was floating.
They parted eventually, both needing air, but pressed their foreheads against each other's. Arizona kept her eyes closed for a moment, wanting to save the feeling and etch it permanently into her head. She felt Callie's hands stroke her drenched hair, and she sighed in appreciation.
When she did open her eyes, Arizona found herself staring into Callie's brown eyes. They each stood there, standing in the rain, holding onto each other as if for dear life, and Arizona never wanted to let go.
The moment ended too soon when Callie's phone began to ring. Awkwardly de-tangling herself from Arizona, Callie quickly turned as she answered it. The call only lasted a few seconds, if that, and then Callie was turning back around to her.
"I-I have to go, Dad's home," Callie said, her eyes landing on anywhere except Arizona.
"Okay," Arizona sighed, knowing that was going to happen. "We'll catch colds if we're out here for much longer."
"Yeah," Callie awkwardly smiled. The other girl seemed so vulnerable, and unsure of herself. Arizona wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing or not, but she stepped forward and placed a soft kiss on Callie's bruised lips. Even after only kissing her the once she found herself addicted, and just had to do it again, unsure if she would ever get another chance. Callie seemed to a smile a bit more genuinely after that, and Arizona bit her lip, shoving her hands into her pockets.
The rain grew lighter, and it was another ten minutes before either girl made to leave. Arizona didn't want to walk away from the moment, she wanted to live in it forever. To stay in that moment of time.
And for the first time, in the aftermath of the kiss, Arizona understood what it meant for someone to truly take your breath away. Both physically and mentally.
A:N: So yay for Callie somewhat accepting her feelings and yay for first kiss :) Sorry if any of you actually wanted to read about the date Arizona had with Amber, but I didn't really want to write that /: Next up: Callie and Arizona spend time exploring now they've gone past the particular boundary in their friendship. Plus it's Thanksgiving, and Callie's family comes to stay.