A/N wow, 10 chapters already! I'm sorry for taking so long to put up this chapter (again). I have no excuse for this, I simply lost interest in writing for a while, but the interest thankfully returned to me. I want to thank everyone who reviewed etc. and putting up with me for all this time, you truly are amazing. This chapter gets sort of angsty.

Chapter 10

There were no words to explain how she felt. Her whole body felt limp, she just wanted to fall to her knees and let everything sink in. Her head was pounding, trying to process all the information that had been thrown at her, but unable to. She supported herself with her hand on the cave wall, knowing that if she didn't, her legs would give out. She was so lost in her inner turmoil that she didn't register the sound of feet on the ground, coming closer. She became more alert when a body slammed into hers.

She knew who it was, but she didn't want it to be true. Her breathing grew heavier, her nails bore into her skin with so much force it hurt, but she didn't mind. She kept her eyes closed when she heard his sickening voice echo against the walls. "Morgana?" She heard the fear and surprise in his voice; it sent unexplainable shivers of anger through her body. Every move she heard him make, every breath, infuriated her. She had to get away, clear her mind, and just go.

She turned herself around, forced her eyes open, and ordered her legs to take her away from him. As she expected Merlin followed her out of the cave, but she kept on running, not sparing a glance back, because she was afraid of what she would do when she saw him. He lied to her, but he defended her somewhat, did that make it any less horrible? It wasn't such a hard question, of course it was unforgivable that he lied to her despite everything.

Her inner turmoil, however, was focused on different things, he didn't want to kill her, but he did so anyway. Who was that person or thing that Merlin was talking to, that seemed to know something, before it had even happened? How did it know that... she gritted her teeth just thinking about it, it stirred an unknown anger inside of her. How did it know that merlin was a sorcerer? Was the thing Merlin's accomplice?

It must be somebody important, Merlin would never agree to killing her otherwise, would he? She heard the footsteps behind her fade away, but she kept on running. She had no idea where she was going. She passed some guards but she didn't even spare them a second glance. The guards followed her out of the castle, but eventually their footsteps quieted as well. When she felt her legs give out more than they already had, she fell to the ground with a thud, smudging her favourite dress with mud. But her mind didn't even register that fact. When she ran, she could limit the thoughts about Merlin, but when she sat, she had all the time to think.

Her eyelids felt heavy, and she let her limp body lie down on the damp grass. She shivered from the cold, but she was too tired to keep her eyes open, to find some shelter. Everything would be fine by tomorrow. Tomorrow she'll know what to do, it would be okay. She managed to snicker at her own foolishness, were things ever okay?

She faded off into sleep.

~#~

When she awoke, she almost expected Gwen to be there, tell her good morning, and give her breakfast with a tired smile. But she wasn't. She found herself somewhere in the forest, her clothes damp and covered in mud. What was she thinking running off into the middle of nowhere? It wasn't like her to let her feelings get control over her thoughts like that. She groaned when she felt her headache worsen. She lifted herself off the ground with more difficulty than it should have been.

She vaguely remembered how she ran, and she could feel that fact by the soreness of her legs. How could she have been so stupid? Why did she embarrass herself like that? She wanted to go back to the castle, but she had no idea what she would say when she got back. What excuse could there be for running off like that?

Then there was Merlin, what would she do if she saw him? Her mind had cleared a little bit, but she still didn't know what to do. The obvious answer would be to kill him, but something was holding her back, that nagging curiosity. She wondered how he was able to hide the fact that he had magic so well, she wanted to know what or who that thing was that he was talking to in the cave. She sighed deeply, and set course back to the castle. She had to return someday.

When the castle came into her view, she started to feel nervous. How would she act around Merlin? What would she tell everyone? She couldn't think of an excuse. Two guards at the front gate immediately recognised her once they saw her. They ran to her, and escorted her into the castle, telling every guard they walked past that Morgana had returned. It was all very embarrassing.

Her breath hitched when she arrived in the throne room, where everyone was gathered to see her return, including Merlin. His gaze haunted her more than it used to, she knew that a confrontation was inevitable. Her father said a few words, but they faded into the background. Morgana couldn't take her eyes away from Merlin's. She hoped no-one would notice. They broke their stares, when her father pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I'm so glad you're okay" he muttered into her shoulder. Morgana's urge to run grew, but she took a calming breath and muttered back. 'Me too.' Even though she wasn't okay at all. He let go of her, his eyes watery. She was only gone for one night; there was no need to be so dramatic. She forced a smile, which surely wasn't convincing. Her eyes involuntarily returned to Merlin's. She tried to read his gaze, but she had no idea what he was thinking. Usually she could figure him out in an instant, but she wasn't so sure anymore. She felt like she never knew him at all.