Shattered

Chapter #10

A/N: I just want to thank everyone for reading and all the reviews you have taken time to leave. I just want to take a moment to sooth any of your fears of this being anything other than Everlark. In the end, for me it at least, it will always be Katniss and Peeta. As for Gale being introduced to the story… I don't foresee him turning into a big character. Really at this point we are just getting to see some of the issues and fears that plague both Katniss and Peeta, I just don't see either of them even paying anyone else a second glance now that they've found each other. Anyway, I hope you like the way this is progressing.

I want to apologize for the length of time in between updates recently (hangs head in shame). I was disheartened at my lack of skill when it comes to writing and couldn't bring myself to start again… there are seriously gifted writers out there and I was literally blown away!

Also on a random note I'm not sure how to respond to individual reviewers here on so if someone would like to let me in on that I'd more than happily respond to you all individually =) And… I have almost the next two chapters planned out and started! Yea ! Feel free to distract me on tubmlr! Chasechick is my s/n.

Peeta

Peeta was staring at the ceiling when the buzzer on his alarm went off on Monday morning. He reached over and silenced it with a quick slap of his hand. He hadn't slept much the past few days. The night Coin caught him she literally grilled him for hours trying to pin something on Katniss, she kept trying to trip him up and get him to admit to something, but he was used to being grilled by a cold calculating woman, that was old hat to him.

First thing on Sunday he was dragged into the Headmaster's office and given another lecture by the Headmaster as Coin sat in the corner with her arms crossed with a small smirk upon her face. They had called his parents and caught them just as they had returned home from church. Unfortunately it was his mother who had answered the phone call and the tirade she spewed over the phone was uncomfortable and even embarrassing. Coin's eyes seem to dance with delight with all the ammunition she was gleaning from the call.

After the call he was dangerously close to slipping down into a panic attack. Snow seemed to realize that he was about to lose control of the situation so he excused himself and dragged Coin along with him leaving Peeta to stew in his own anger. When the door opened twenty minutes later Peeta tensed his shoulders waiting for the tongue lashing to begin again, he jumped when a soft hand landed on his shoulder offering him a comforting squeeze instead. When he brought his eyes up he met the kind gaze of Cinna, he didn't look angry but concerned.

He gave Peeta a small nod and sat down in the chair next to him and shifted it slightly so he could face him. He just waited, remaining silent and waited for Peeta to make the first move. Peeta relaxed a little in his comforting presence and took a few deep breaths. "So what happens now?"

A quick smile flashed across Cinna's face in amusement before he turned serious again, "Right to the point as usual aren't you? They treat the rules here very seriously Peeta, they have to. Dealing with such a different group of young people all bottled up together can get out of hand quickly if they didn't keep things that way. Alma Coin is a stickler for those rules and not someone you want to cross."

Peeta thought he heard a trace of anger in Cinna's voice but he must have imagined it because when Cinna continued it was in his same soft baritone voice. "You will sit with Coin each evening after dinner and she will walk you to your room at curfew each night until you get your cast off, then you will be moved to the regular dorms and from what I gather they will place you with someone that will be responsible for reporting you the moment you step out of line." Peeta nodded his head slowly, nothing he didn't expect so far. "Make no mistake Peeta they are going easy on you only because you are new, break the rules again and they will not go easy on you."

"Understood," Peeta responded solemnly.

"Now, how are you handling this whole situation, from what Snow mentioned the phone call with your mother was pretty… dramatic, care to talk about it?"

"Nothing I haven't ever heard before, I'm fine." Cinna simply nodded and then squeezed his shoulder as he stood to leave.

"The headmaster will be back to speak with you, I'll see you tomorrow for our scheduled appointment Peeta." And with a soft click of the door Cinna had left taking Peeta's calmness with him.

And so Sunday progressed first he was lectured for hours, then they eventually sent him back to his room where a sandwich and apple waited for him. He had been ordered to complete all of his homework assignments for the next day's classes. Though he didn't want to anger them any further and provoke any further punishment he still had a hard time reigning in his mind in to focus on the task at hand. His thoughts seemed to drift on so many different tangents that he would often look at the clock to see time had lapsed without him realizing it. He had missed dinner but his stomach churned at the thought of food so he remained at his desk. It was late by the time he closed his last assignment and his eyes were drooping in fatigue.

Even exhausted he didn't sleep any better Sunday night worrying how about how Katniss handled his absence. He couldn't help but smile in relief when he finally saw her Monday. He wanted to spill everything to her then and there but he didn't want to worry her and he certainly didn't want the entire school picking up on it. Furthermore he didn't want Coin to realize the depth of his relationship with Katniss; he had a distinct impression that things would get infinitely worse if she caught wind of how much the two had come to depend and care for each other. He tried to be conscious of how he appeared around her when they were around others, though he kept finding his eyes drifting over to look at her and he often caught her questioning gaze lingering on him.

He ached to tell her what had transpired after leaving her room that night and the reason he wanted to appear more distant when they were in view of others but an opportunity hadn't seemed to present itself. He was working up the urge to tell her when she had led him down the shadowy corridor to the nurse's area but his tongue seemed thick and glued to the roof of his mouth. His heart clenched in a painful ache as she darted away to her class with her eyes trained on the floor. He didn't want to hurt her, he only hoped she knew how much he really cared for her.

He leafed through a few generic health magazines perusing through their glossy pages to find an article to read and summarize for his required essay to substitute for his lack of physical activity. Busy work was all it was and Peeta couldn't seem to find anything that pulled him away from his troubling thoughts. He sighed in frustration and nearly tore a page completely from one of the magazines causing him to swear under his breath.

The nurse was busy with a younger student and merely quirked her eyebrow at him before turning her attention back to the student. Peeta finally settled on an article about the importance of varying your type of exercise and the benefits that one might reap from it. It was mostly information he had known for some time. He'd endured countless workouts alongside his brother trying to unsuccessfully increase his prowess out on the fields to anything that resembled Rye's natural athletic grace. The thought of his brother caused his eyes to prick with unshed tears but he blinked rapidly and held them back.

He was half way through scribbling a hasty summarization on the article when the nurse received a phone call and not a few minutes later in limped a bedraggled looking Katniss alongside a tall muscular boy. Peeta's eyes raked over Katniss trying to discern if her injury was anything serious and his heart seemed to calm when he didn't notice anything terribly out of place. Just as that panic had left a new one settled right in its place as Katniss laughed at something the dark haired boy had said. Her eyes seemed alight with amusement instead of pity or the questioning glances she'd spared him today. He managed to catch her eye only once before the nurse pulled the curtain between them and he couldn't determine if she was happy to see him or indifferent.

His heart seemed to thump in his chest, the blood rushed through his ears. He hastily finished his essay with a shaky hand and left the magazine and paper on the nurse's desk. He slid his messenger bag over his shoulder and crutched to his room to deposit it upon his bed.

He wanted nothing more than to just curl up in his bed and shut out the world. Retreat into himself and not deal with it but he knew if he didn't show up for his scheduled session with Cinna the therapist would no doubt come looking for him. So Peeta crutched down to his office door and knocked on it before he could think more about it.

Upon entering Peeta simply nodded at Cinna and plopped down in the comfortable chair trying to feign indifference. Cinna just peered at him as he finished putting a way another file and Peeta shrugged his shoulders as he felt Cinna's examining stare. It was unnerving, like he could see the thoughts that he was trying to hide.

"Something bothering you Peeta?" Cinna asked as he leaned against his desk.

Peeta shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing more than usual." He began to rub the back of his neck to ease some of the tension that had begun to knot his muscles.

Cinna merely nodded. "Okay." He was quite a moment before he changed his topic altogether. "So, how have you been feeling since Sunday? No panic attacks or anything of that nature?"

Peeta just shook his head and Cinna retreated to his seat behind his desk and began to sift through some papers. "Looks like only a few more days and you'll be out of that cast and able to get around a little better, bet you're looking forward to that huh?"

Peeta simply nodded his head unenthusiastically. Without the impediment from his injury what if Katniss no longer felt obligated to accompany him and instead moved on to someone that wasn't a sob story? Someone like the dark haired boy she'd been laughing with earlier.

Cinna seemed to sense Peeta's distraction but didn't call him out on it. He simply made small talk with Peeta for their allotted time before letting him go with a promise to see him at their next session. Peeta returned to his room momentarily before he headed to the cafeteria. He had hoped to catch Katniss before heading to serve his time Coin for the evening. He reasoned he'd explain to her what had happened whether or not they were alone. He didn't want her to think he was pushing her away or being purposely vindictive or cruel. He had to make things right between them.

His heart sunk when he spotted Rue with a few of the others that frequented their table, but one was noticeably absent. He sat quietly in the seat next to Rue who offered him a kind smile and jumped to get him some food without a word.

When she returned he offered her a quiet "Thank you." He kept his eyes on the stew and quietly ate his meal as Rue jumped right back into the conversation without missing a beat. The others eyed him cautiously but no one said a word to him, and for that he was grateful. Coin observed him from her post in the corner of the room rarely taking her probing eyes from him. Though he wasn't hungry he took slow small bites to draw out his dinner time as long as he could in hopes that Katniss would make an appearance.

The towering dark haired boy from earlier approached the table with a gruff "hello." Most of the group offered him genuine smiles of greeting. He addressed Rue, "How's Katniss? She's okay right?"

Rue looked at Peeta before flicking her eyes back to the boy and offering him a small smile, "Hi Gale, I haven't seen her since she limped off to the nurse's. I'm sure she's fine though, she's a tough one that girl."

Gale, so the stranger's name was Gale. Gale offered a deep throaty laugh at Rue's insight, "That she is, nearly took my leg off this afternoon. Will you tell her I asked about her and that I hoped that she was okay?" Rue smiled and seemed to blush a little as she nodded her head in agreement before he rushed off.

Peeta had frozen at the exchange and he only realized that he had a white knuckled grip on the edge of the table and a clenched jaw after the others at the table decided they were finished with dinner and stood up to leave. Rue waited behind waving at the group as they exited the door. She cast a wary look at Coin who was making her way through the tables to Peeta.

Peeta saw Coin's approach and gave up the charade of dinner and shoved his remaining food away. Rue piled the garbage on her tray and leaned into his ear and rested her hand on his shoulder as she whispered quickly, "Everything will be fine Peeta, you'll see."

With that she flitted away and disappeared out the door just as Coin's shadow fell upon him. "Up Mellark let's go, I've got things to do."

He stood slowly and gathered his crutches to follow her as she angrily stalked out of the room. She didn't wait for him to get out the door and it nearly slammed on him as he reached it. He had to lean on it and hop awkwardly through. They stopped at his room to retrieve his bag and assignments before continuing on to the staircase.

Coin quickly ascended the stairs not bothering to see if Peeta needed any assistance. When she got to the top of the third stair well he had only crested the first. "C'mon Mellark quit dawdling and get up here or so help me…"

By the time he reached her he was sweating profusely with the effort, Coin's face was an angry shade of red. She stopped tapping her foot and huffed in indignation before turning on her heal and leading him to her room. He plopped down in his seat grateful to be off of his crutches. He wasn't sure what to expect from this punishment but he figured he would work on his assignments until it was time to return to his room. Not so bad.

Of course he hadn't figured on Alma Coin's methodology for punishment either. The room was quiet with the occasional shuffle of papers or the scratch of a pen as he worked on his assignments and she graded papers. "So, you killed your brother eh?"

Her words nonchalantly slipped out breaking the silence. At first he thought he had heard her wrong, "Excuse me?" He asked.

"I said," she over annunciated herself and stood up to approach him stopping right in front of his desk. "You killed your brother?"

Peeta leaned back in his chair flabbergasted by her question. He rubbed the back of his neck as his blood pressure rose rapidly and he broke out into a cold sweat. "Wh-What makes you say that?" His voice shook with his effort to remain calm.

"Well your mother pretty much seemed to think so yesterday when we spoke with her. I can see why she is ashamed of you, killing off the better male specimen and all." Peeta swallowed thickly and tried desperately to hold on to the tears that were trying to escape. He did not want Coin to see she was getting to him. Her words however, seemed to cut him deep, they were words he'd told himself thousands of times in weeks since the accident. His mother had even muttered the accusation at him when she was on her alcohol induced tirades following the funeral. Others like Cinna and Katniss and even Haymitch might be the type to try and convince him that it wasn't his fault that sometimes things like that happen for no apparent reason, but what if they were wrong? What if it really was his fault?

Coin watched him with a sickeningly pleased look upon her face. Deciding she'd done what she sought out to do she sauntered back to her desk to continue her paperwork in smug silence. Peeta didn't move the entire half hour left of their time and still hadn't spoken when she'd dropped him off to his room at curfew.

Finally alone, Peeta collapsed on his bed and drew his knees up to his chest and began to weep quietly, the crocodile tears rolling down his cheeks unchecked and soaking into his pillow. He longed for Katniss to burst into the room and wrap her slender arms around him to reassure him of his innocence but the thought that he might have already lost her made him cry even more.