Hi! I am sorry that this chapter is shorter than all the others. I usually aim for 3k words and end up somewhere around 2,5. This one is under 2k. I know, I know. The thing is, I felt like I said everything that I wanted so there's no point to give you fillers. Also, I wouldn't want to include to big events in one chapter, it spoils the fun ;-).
This may not be what you were expecting but this is how I want this story to go. Don't worry, it will not get fluffy.
As previously mentioned, I now post once a week. Expect a new chapter on September 7th.
Tate lived in Marina Del Rey. Violet had heard of the place before but never had a chance to travel to this part of town. They parked in front of new apartment-building. Tate was opening her door before she could reach for the knob. He took her hand and they made their way inside, every step filling her with more and more anxiety. Did she really want it? Tate was searching his pockets for a key as Violet was pacing around impatiently.
"Are you okay?" his voice was quiet. She didn't know if she was okay. She felt excited but the excitement was mixed with fear. Violet nodded her head. Tate gave her a small smile and opened the door. He switched on the light as he was kicking off his shoes. His place was surprisingly clean, he never seemed to be put together so it was a surprise. A big enough studio, grey walls, dark furniture. Sofa was a provisional parting between two sides of the room. On one - a bed and wardrobe, the other book-shelves, desk and kitchen counters. Big window was covering the wall facing the marina. He had surprisingly small amount of personal belongings, even if she wanted to get to know him better – the place was not helping.
"Anything to drink?" his voice interrupted her thoughts. Somehow she couldn't find words, the situation was completely new to her. Violet didn't know what was going to happen. Would they sit and talk? Listen to the music? Fuck? Why did she come here in the first place?
"Coke? Beer? I have some wine but I can't guarantee it's any good," he was smirking.
"Coke sounds good," she said and walked over to the sofa. Violet had had enough of the alcohol, she didn't want to face him drunk yet again. He took two cans and joined her, making himself comfortable. She hesitantly took a sip. Tate laughed.
"If I wanted to add something to your drink, I would make sure you are not suspecting." His statement made her giggle. Violet started to feel more at ease.
"Your place is cool." She didn't know what to talk about but she did want to talk to him. Tate looked around and shrugged.
"I don't think so," he gave her a small smile "I don't like to be surrounded with stuff, you know? I can't focus in crowded spaces."
"Why do you go to crowded bars then?" Violet finally found herself - hit where it stings. His smile now turned sinister.
"To pick women." Tate's statement made her stomach turn. Any other time, Violet wouldn't be fazed with stuff like that. She didn't care to be the one. She didn't care to be anyone's truth be told. Somehow, with him it was different. He leaned in closer and took her hand.
"Violet, I am just joking," Tate's voice was full of concern "I, too, like to drink sometimes. It doesn't feel so strange and lonely when I am surrounded by people." Violet turned her face to look at him. He suddenly looked so small and vulnerable. The atmosphere changed. Half an hour ago they were getting it on around strangers, now they were sitting in his apartment, holding hands, and looking into each-other's eyes. What a cliché. "I care about you," he said finally. Tate was now holding her hand in both of his. His face was so close. Violet tried to stop herself from pressing her lips against his. Refrain.
"You don't know me," she stated. Any sign of concern over her person was always met with hostility. She didn't know how to react.
"I do. I know more about you than you think, Violet." He sounded sincere. Warm. It filled her with something she had never felt before. Violet almost felt as if she could trust him.
"So you were following me after all?" Her comment made him laugh. She laughed too. Funny how comfortable she felt with him. Her gut feeling was right after all, she was running away, fighting with him for no reason at all. Tate was still holding her hand, his thumb caressing the skin.
"I don't need to follow you," his voice soft "you are just like me." Violet was well aware that there were some things connecting them. Tate had cut in the past, he suffered from mental disorder. He was her equal in any discussion they had. Sarcasm and wit were the things she admired in other people. Her closest family lacked them. Still, she wanted to question him further. Violet was curious. She was curious about many things and each time she would take time to look for clues, listen, and research.
"How are we similar?" She smirked. Tate took no time to think of his answer.
"I see myself in you. Quiet. Distant. But there's so much intelligence behind the facade you build. Curiosity. Eagerness to learn, to know" He was listing one thing after another as if he had ready-made list of qualities he himself owned. Violet was struck with realization that Tate indeed was a great observer. Smart, observant, and curious. If they really were so alike then he really must had been great at manipulating people. "I don't really pay attention to anyone, Violet," he continued "I don't really care for people but somehow I care for you. You are so different from everything that I have ever known." He let go off his hand and put his own on the back of her neck, caressing her slowly. For the first time in her life, Violet welcomed such a gesture. It was warm and caring as if they had known each other forever. As if he was genuine in what he was saying. Violet felt as if she could really get to know Tate. Not to know about him but to know him.
"I like you," she said. Her cheeks blushed slightly. She had a foggy memory of saying that already sometime in the past but this time she was fully aware of her emotions. Her words were sincere. Tate smiled warmly, his dimples showing. He moved his hand higher to softly turn her head in his direction and then placed a kiss on her lips. It wasn't mad. It wasn't persistent either, a gentle brush of his lips against her own.
"Will you go out with me?" He mumbled against her mouth. One time he would grip and push her against the wall, the other he would play a gentleman and ask her on a date.
"I am with you now," she teased him.
"Sometimes my emotions take the best of me but I don't want to use you. I want this to be proper," he said "Don't make me beg." There was something erotic in the way he talked about begging. Violet was tempted to push it but in all honesty - she wanted to go out with Tate.
"Begging sounds nice but I'll do without." Her way of saying yes made him laugh yet again.
If not for the fact that she had sneaked out of her house, she would stay with him and talk, listen to music, or anything else really. But she knew that it was in her best interest to get back before Ben wakes up. As much as Violet enjoyed the time they had spend together, it would be a novice mistake to get caught and be under even bigger jurisdiction of her father. Tate drove her to the bar's parking lot, music playing quietly as their made their way beneath the awakening sun. Normally, she would stare out of the window, caught in her own thoughts, but now her eyes were on him. Tate was focused on the street, not giving her a glance, but his face was graced with a smile, the one that screamed of approval. When they arrived he once again opened the door for her, a real gentleman, except for the times when he would grip and push. Violet smirked. She didn't expect him to walk her to her car, she was not big on kind gestures, but this one made her feel as if she was cared for. Not that Ben and Vivien didn't care for her, they did but in a way that she couldn't approve of. With Tate it seemed as he was caring about her unconditionally, not expecting anything in return. He waited for Violet to find a keys and open the door. When she got into the car he lowered himself so their faces were now on the same level.
"I will pick you up tomorrow," he started "We don't want Ben to know. Say you are going out with friends, they are picking you up but you have to walk a few blocks. I will be waiting." With his last words he placed a kiss on her forehead. She returned the small act of affection with a slow caress of his neck.
"I will see you tomorrow." He backed off and closed the door quietly. Violet could see him standing by his car as she was driving off.
She made it into her bedroom quietly, undressed, and lit a cigarette. After all that had happened, her view on things changed. Violet finally admitted to herself that she wanted to spend time with Tate. She didn't only want to lurk in the shadows and listen. Funny how things change. Violet had never seen herself as someone emotional, a person to let someone close. She was struck by a strange feeling of pride - he would still try to get close to her, after all the times she had pushed him away. She used to think that he was appealing, but in an odd way. All it took was a few warm gestures, a sense of intimacy. These things were always there, against his somehow terrifying actions, he was just a man, perhaps a little lost but still. Someone similar to her, an outsider with attraction to the darkness, person battling his own monsters. She would never be the one to let her judgment be clouded, so it wasn't a case. Violet finally understood that she liked him because of his two, completely different, sides. Tate was unpredictable but it was only making him more interesting in her eyes. His behavior was destructive and so was her attraction to him, Violet understood it perfectly. Yet, desire to let loose, to experiment, to do things against wishes of the average people, was out-weighting her sane judgment. Their mutual attraction was wrong but, to both of them, it felt exactly right.