He had never been more grateful for his mask. Stomping through the halls, Kylo Ren was fighting a losing battle to his chaotic emotions and was on the verge of an explosion unlike any he had endured before. If I don't act now, I may never see her again.
He knew he should return to his quarters and calm down before speaking to the Supreme Leader, but his wrath and his rage were clouding his judgment. He wanted to destroy something, to scream, to smash. He wanted to punish. He was angry at everyone and everything, including his faithless master.
He stormed into the cavernous space that held the holoprojector, and called to Snoke.
"Kylo Ren," came Snoke's echoing voice, his large form appearing in hologram before Kylo. "Very good work, capturing the Scavenger." The giant form nodded. "Most impressive. I know she has been a difficulty for you."
Kylo bristled at the mention of her, "Yes" he managed coldly, barely suppressing his violent irritation.
"General Hux is confident she knows the current location of the Resistance. The time is near when we will be able to destroy their paltry coalition forever." Snoke shook his outstretch fist in the air, and looked down to his student, "And it will all be thanks to you."
Kylo Ren felt sick, disgusted by the thought of Hux interrogating Rey.
"Given that she was on Yavin Four at the time of the Resistance rendezvous, it seems unlikely that she would know anything about their new base." He kept his voice impassive and his mind heavily-barricaded.
Snoke was silent, staring down at Kylo Ren. His face was stern, and calculating. He sighed deeply. "When, exactly, did I lose your trust, Kylo Ren?" He said, finally. The room nearly crackled with violent tension.
Kylo Ren's anger flared. He barely noticed as rocks came tumbling down the walls of the room, shaken lose by the tremors of his rage and scattering across the floor to his feet.
"When, exactly, did I lose yours, Supreme Leader?" He spoke with distain.
Snoke shook his head, and stared gravely down at his apprentice. "The General's claims were petty and malicious; I never doubted your fealty, Kylo Ren."
Kylo scoffed, "Then why send him to Yavin Four?"
Snoke hesitated, "I worried for you. I knew the Scavenger had been clouding your judgment, that your compassion for her-"
"I do not have compassion for her!" Kylo Ren lied.
"Do NOT lie to me, boy," Snoke roared, his voice cutting through the air like a knife. "I know all about your compassions. I know about her unlikely escape last time she was on board, about your encounter with her on Jakku, and when you left for Erys, I knew exactly what you intended to do."
Kylo closed his eyes in defeat, and breathed deeply. Snoke would kill him for this, or punish him in ways worse than death. He will make me pay.
"Kylo Ren, I knew," Snoke paused, "and I did not stop you. I trusted you then, and I still do. I do not believe you have lost your way."
Kylo opened his eyes and looked up to his master in incomprehension. "I have lost my way." His voice was sad for only a moment, but then his anger returned and it returned in vitriolic force.
"I have been plagued by the call to the light. I have been suffocating in it. I am drowning in its pain and guilt and torment."
Snoke remained silent, and in the moment of stillness, Kylo Ren's rage consumed him entirely. He was nearly blind in his fury and hatred.
"You said that killing my father would slake this anguish! You said that it would end my pain, and that it make me strong! Han's death has ruined me! I am weak, I am miserable, I am tortured by guilt and shame and regret! Everything you told me was a lie!" Kylo screamed with all the strength in his core.
Giant chunks of rock began falling of the walls of the room, smashing to the floor and scattering into broken pieces. The circuits in all the computer panels sparked and crackled, sending riotous electricity shooting across the space in all directions.
Kylo pulled out his saber and slashed at the floor, and then at the walls, destroying anything he could find in the barren room. Finally, he threw his saber against the wall, smashing it and scattering pieces across the floor. He fell to his knees, and slumped over himself, too angry even to cry. Surely he will kill me now, Kylo thought, and the thought gave him comfort. This pain will finally be over.
Snoke raised his hand toward the fractured splinters of Kylo's lightsaber. He delicately closed his fist, and the pieces began to reassemble. The saber rebuilt itself until it was made new again, whole and complete. Snoke slowly moved his hand, and the reconstructed weapon floated towards Kylo.
Kylo closed his eyes, peacefully awaiting the sound of his saber's ignition and the feeling of its final blow, but instead it stopped before him, handle facing towards him. He looked at it skeptically, and shook his head, before looking up to his master.
Snoke's face was not hateful or angry, instead it was expressionless and grey. "Take your weapon, Kylo Ren." He said, coolly.
Kylo reached slowly out for his saber, grasping it tightly.
"I have never asked you eschew the light." Snoke said, his voice firm and unyielding.
Kylo looked up, his gut turning.
"Your uncle made you choose: light or dark. Good or evil. Jedi or Sith. He was blind to the strength, to the beauty of your power. You are both. You are light and you are dark: a perfect balance. You are not crippled by edicts and laws, by restrictions or doctrines. Your power is limitless, it is infinite. You rule your own destiny."
Kylo's emotions roiled painfully, his breaths short and slow, his jaw trembling. He felt a tear fall down his cheek, and sucked in a quick breath to try to steady himself.
"I should have sensed the depth of your struggle, Kylo." Snoke said, sadly. "As your teacher, I should have supported you during these trials."
Kylo couldn't speak; he could barely breath. He felt like all of the pains and sorrows that had burdened him these past months were falling away.
"It is not too late for you, Kylo Ren, to finish what your grandfather started."
Kylo looked up at Snoke. My grandfather, he thought, confusion again taking hold.
"You told me that my grandfather turned to the dark side because of Obi-Wan Kenobi," he paused, but continued, "that Obi-Wan killed Padme?" He had intended it to be a statement.
Snoke nodded. "Yes?"
"I've read all the journals, master, and I no longer believe-"
Snoke raised his hand, and his face contorted with anger, "You believe the Scavenger?"
Kylo recoiled momentarily in the wake of Snoke's roar, but with determination he continued, "all of the records suggest-"
"She has corrupted you!" Bellowed Snoke, slamming his fist down with an echoing thud that reverberated of the walls. "She is the call to the light! She is why you have been plagued by pain!" Snoke face contorted with anger. "She will be your ruin, Kylo Ren, if you let her! You promised your grandfather that you would bring balance to the force, that you would finish what he had started, but you will never be able to achieve your goals if you let that Jedi corrupt your principles!"
Kylo's stomach turned. This pain began after I met her, he considered.
"Of course your pain began when you met her. She is just like Skywalker. They believe that the universe is made of only of light or dark, good or evil. They have no place for anyone like you in their world. You defy their very philosophy."
Kylo frowned, his mind racing and confused.
Snoke continued, "They would have you defy the First Order, and all you have worked to create here. They cannot see the justice, the stability of your establishment here. They cannot see the peace that you will bring to the galaxy with your new regime. They would have you join their misguided Resistance, propagating the havoc and disorder of the New Republic until anarchy prevailed and justice died."
Kylo nodded, seeing clearly how foolish he had been, how misguided and irrational. He was seeing clearly again, his pains and torment lifted away.
"I understand, Supreme Leader," He said, his voice strong and determined.
Snoke nodded. "Good. Now go. We need her to give us the location of that base."
Kylo nodded again, his fist clenching tightly to his lightsaber, and his deep voice echoing darkly throughout the room, "She will not resist this time."
This was so hard to write. I think it is so important to explain Kylo Ren's motivation clearly, especially if you want to say that he is not a raving lunatic villain, but instead is a conflicted guy who makes bad choices. It's hard to know how much he is brain-washed by Snoke, or lucidly pragmatic, so I tried to convey a bit of both.
As a lover of the originals, it's hard to love Kylo Ren and recognize that he super duper murdered (my beloved) Han, but I think it is important to acknowledge that it did, in fact, happen. I tried to frame it within the context of Kylo's messed up life, and to adequately balance explanation with condemnation. I hope it worked.
Hope you guys like this! I know there was no Rey/Kylo (sorry), but believe me - there is a LOT of that in the next chapter so get ready for some major feels.